Help me name my snails
June 15, 2022 7:55 AM   Subscribe

I have several aquatic snails in a tank I call Snellywood (Snailcity, S-town, baby). I have two new purple mystery snails to join my other mysteries Fred and Ginger (and Tracy and Hepburn the nerites)

I want them to be a pair of actresses specifically, not necessarily another co-starring couple. I was thinking Davis and Crawford but I don't actually want a pet named after Joan Crawford. I love Barbara Stanwyck but no name sticks out to me as a good counterpart. But I'm also up for any other good classic Hollywood names, Ginger is laying eggs like a fiend.
Snail Tax (4 snails, one piece of kale lol) and Egg clutch pic (not for the squeamish, some people think they look really gross)
posted by wellifyouinsist to Pets & Animals (20 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Best answer: Judy and Liza?
posted by doornoise at 7:58 AM on June 15, 2022

Best answer: Davis and Baxter? (All About Eve)
Olivia de Havilland and Joan Fontaine?
posted by doornoise at 8:01 AM on June 15, 2022

Harlow and Bara (Theda) if they are vampy snails.

Lily (Tomlin) and Jane (Fonda) for the aging buddy movie vibe?
posted by Lawn Beaver at 8:16 AM on June 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Ingrid and Isabella
posted by Glinn at 8:27 AM on June 15, 2022

Best answer: I propose you name the snails Barbara and Stanwyck.

Another path you could take is Barbara Stanwyck was in Double Indemnity, a movie based on a James M Cain novel. Other famous James M Cain adaptations: Mildred Pierce (there's your Joan Crawford problem though) and The Postman Always Rings Twice (starring Lana Turner). So if you're looking for a pairing, Barbara and Lana is a connection that you can make a good argument for.
posted by phunniemee at 8:29 AM on June 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Geena & Susan, Thelma & Louise. The irony....
posted by cocoagirl at 8:38 AM on June 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Barbara Stanwyck... and Anne Shirley
Barbara Stanwyck... and Mae Clarke
Dorothy Dandridge and Lena Horne
Dorothy and Lillian, the Gish sisters
Dorothy Lamour and Betty Grable
Betty Grable and Rita Hayworth
posted by Iris Gambol at 9:36 AM on June 15, 2022

This won't be especially helpful to you but I just wanted to say I'm so happy somebody else names their snails! Mine are Whitey Bolger, Johnny Winter, Blackie Lawless & Donald Rumsfeld. (The first 3, about their color; with Donald it's something about the eyes.)
posted by Wylie Kyoto at 9:36 AM on June 15, 2022 [9 favorites]

Lucy and Vivian from "I Love Lucy"?
posted by kathrynm at 9:55 AM on June 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Shelley Long and Shelley Duvall. (Get it? Get it????)
posted by ejs at 10:04 AM on June 15, 2022 [6 favorites]

Molly and Betty Lou? (From The It Girl.)
Mary and Rhoda? (From Mary Tyler Moore.)
posted by eotvos at 10:53 AM on June 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Prince and the Revolution.

Maude and Carol.
posted by at at 12:16 PM on June 15, 2022

Best answer: Patsy Kelly and Thelma Todd were a pretty awesome 30's double-act worth honoring.
posted by mumkin at 12:43 PM on June 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: I'm so glad anyone else on earth remembers Patsy Kelly and Thelma Todd 😭
posted by wellifyouinsist at 1:06 PM on June 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

Snail enthusiast Madison Whitefeather (of the show Crazy Ex-
Girlfriend) named her friends Snaily Minaj, Snailor Swift, Snaily Rae Jepsen, and Iggy Asnailea. Taking a page from her book, how about Grace Snaily and Maureen O'Snailivan?
posted by prewar lemonade at 1:12 PM on June 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Feel free to consider less gendered names, since snails produce both eggs and sperm. Names that don't connote specific genders seem especially appropriate.
posted by citygirl at 2:27 PM on June 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

with @citygirl 's info: Fierstein and Doubtfire
posted by at at 2:39 PM on June 15, 2022

Mary Pickford and Tallulah Bankhead

Since you're going to have a bunch of babies, check out Hollywood Graveyard YouTube This guy does really respectful and lovely tours of a lot of stars, directors, et cetera.
posted by effluvia at 4:59 PM on June 15, 2022

Mary Martin and Sandy Duncan
Judy Garland and Diana Ross
Lynda Carter and Gal Godot
posted by vunder at 11:01 PM on June 15, 2022

Response by poster: INTERESTINGLY mystery snails do have male/female sex and need a male/female pair to breed (it differs from snail species to snail species, bladder snails for example are asexual reproducers). Luckily, gender is a human construct, as are names, and has no meaning for snails, so I still name them however I please lol. And just cuz it's fun: it's notoriously hard to know if one has a male or female mystery snail (aka apple snail), because you'd need to see up into their shell to spot the penis sheath if you have a male, and they usually close up when you do that. I do not know the sex of any of my mystery snails except the egg layer. In fact, because the sperm can live so long inside a mystery snail after mating, if my Ginger's eggs are fertilized, they may have been by a snail at the store and none of mine because I've just had her 3 months. SNAIL FACTS! SNACTS!
posted by wellifyouinsist at 12:49 PM on June 16, 2022 [3 favorites]

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