Can kiddo catch up?
June 1, 2022 10:44 AM Subscribe
How important are the first 2 months of kindergarten? What happens if you miss them?
My family is considering taking a very beneficial trip. The one downside would be that kiddo would start Junior Kindergarten 2 months late, in November instead of with peers in September. How important is that?
Currently, kiddo's maturity looks like this:
- Gross and fine motor skills: Average-to-good.
- Attention span and impulse control: Excellent.
- Body: Kiddo is very tall and looks 1-2 years older than peers. He's healthy, good sleep and diet.
- Academics like language, math, communication: Very strong. He can read most 3-letter words, has a huge vocabulary, and can solve simple number facts.
- French: His Kindergarten will be all Anglophone children starting French Immersion. Both parents can speak basic French and we could certainly do more to expose him at home; he has a good ear and memory so I think he'll ultimately do well in French. Right now he knows about 20 words in French but refuses to speak French - I think because when we speak French to him, he can hear that he's not rolling his R's correctly and he doesn't like being imperfect - but he does like us to read French books to him, and I can tell he's picking up French vocabulary even if he won't usually repeat it. (We don't correct him! He just has weirdly high standards of perfectionism).
- Kiddo's social skills are a mixed bag:
He's a bit behind in some areas - as a pandemic baby, he has no experience in large classroom settings, and is individualist by nature. He tends to wander away from group activities like soccer, often argues when asked to do something, can be very rigid and bossy with peers and adults. He's not very interested in gaining approval from others, he's a bit risk-averse, and cries (out of frustration when told "no") more often than most peers. His moodiness seems to be tied to his enormous growth spurts which are literally visible within the span of a single nap.
He's great in some social areas - Plays well in small groups up to about 4 kids, reads others' body language well, he's friendly and funny, he makes friends easily at the park, very verbal, strong impulse control, he would never hit anyone, and he plays really well in small groups. He's confident, independent, and a very clear communicator.
We can help ease the transition to Kindergarten by putting him in a kindergarten-classroom type summer program before the trip for about a month, exposing him to more French at home, enrolling him in some more larger-group activities like sports, and organizing more play dates with new kids.
The trip has big benefits: great pay, longterm career advancement, it's in a very safe place, kiddo would get lots of focussed time with the parent who'd be doing the childcare, and a rare chance to connect with local relatives and a lesser-known part of our family's heritage.
What else should we consider when deciding? If we take the trip, what can we do to set him up for success when he starts Kindy late?
My family is considering taking a very beneficial trip. The one downside would be that kiddo would start Junior Kindergarten 2 months late, in November instead of with peers in September. How important is that?
Currently, kiddo's maturity looks like this:
- Gross and fine motor skills: Average-to-good.
- Attention span and impulse control: Excellent.
- Body: Kiddo is very tall and looks 1-2 years older than peers. He's healthy, good sleep and diet.
- Academics like language, math, communication: Very strong. He can read most 3-letter words, has a huge vocabulary, and can solve simple number facts.
- French: His Kindergarten will be all Anglophone children starting French Immersion. Both parents can speak basic French and we could certainly do more to expose him at home; he has a good ear and memory so I think he'll ultimately do well in French. Right now he knows about 20 words in French but refuses to speak French - I think because when we speak French to him, he can hear that he's not rolling his R's correctly and he doesn't like being imperfect - but he does like us to read French books to him, and I can tell he's picking up French vocabulary even if he won't usually repeat it. (We don't correct him! He just has weirdly high standards of perfectionism).
- Kiddo's social skills are a mixed bag:
He's a bit behind in some areas - as a pandemic baby, he has no experience in large classroom settings, and is individualist by nature. He tends to wander away from group activities like soccer, often argues when asked to do something, can be very rigid and bossy with peers and adults. He's not very interested in gaining approval from others, he's a bit risk-averse, and cries (out of frustration when told "no") more often than most peers. His moodiness seems to be tied to his enormous growth spurts which are literally visible within the span of a single nap.
He's great in some social areas - Plays well in small groups up to about 4 kids, reads others' body language well, he's friendly and funny, he makes friends easily at the park, very verbal, strong impulse control, he would never hit anyone, and he plays really well in small groups. He's confident, independent, and a very clear communicator.
We can help ease the transition to Kindergarten by putting him in a kindergarten-classroom type summer program before the trip for about a month, exposing him to more French at home, enrolling him in some more larger-group activities like sports, and organizing more play dates with new kids.
The trip has big benefits: great pay, longterm career advancement, it's in a very safe place, kiddo would get lots of focussed time with the parent who'd be doing the childcare, and a rare chance to connect with local relatives and a lesser-known part of our family's heritage.
What else should we consider when deciding? If we take the trip, what can we do to set him up for success when he starts Kindy late?
It sounds like the trip is a huge win for the family, including the kiddo. He is in great shape compared to his classmates and should adjust quickly.
I think the plans for a summer classroom - type program will be important - it gives him practice being in a group setting where he has to follow the rules and do what the grownups (not his parents) ask.
I might also try to work on frustration tolerance and being Ok with making mistakes. This could involve role modelling "Ooops, i did that wrong. That's OK, I can fix it" or "That's OK, it doesn't have to be perfect" Playing games where he can have fun messing up on purpose.
posted by metahawk at 11:10 AM on June 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
I think the plans for a summer classroom - type program will be important - it gives him practice being in a group setting where he has to follow the rules and do what the grownups (not his parents) ask.
I might also try to work on frustration tolerance and being Ok with making mistakes. This could involve role modelling "Ooops, i did that wrong. That's OK, I can fix it" or "That's OK, it doesn't have to be perfect" Playing games where he can have fun messing up on purpose.
posted by metahawk at 11:10 AM on June 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
So much of Kindergarten is just getting used to the routine of being at school and all the social skills that come with being a classroom. That first year is totally a work in progress and those first couple of months are messy. It sounds like this trip will be a big positive for your family and I think your kiddo will be totally able to catch up. It might be a bit bumpy at the beginning but kids that young are usually very good at integrating new kids into their social circles.
posted by machine at 11:16 AM on June 1, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by machine at 11:16 AM on June 1, 2022 [5 favorites]
Does he have any friends who will also be at this program? The first few weeks are often when the friendship groups first align, and while these change frequently, it may help him to have someone there to introduce him around and show him the ropes.
Is there any option for Facetiming in? Maybe speak with the teachers to see if there are any options from the everyone-is-remote-COVID-era that can be adapted.
posted by beaning at 11:19 AM on June 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
Is there any option for Facetiming in? Maybe speak with the teachers to see if there are any options from the everyone-is-remote-COVID-era that can be adapted.
posted by beaning at 11:19 AM on June 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: He does have a couple neighbourhood friends who will be in his cohort if not his specific classroom, and the kindergarten readiness program would be at his future school and perhaps with some future classmates. We could make an effort to foster more friendships in his class ahead of time and when we get back, too.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 11:30 AM on June 1, 2022
posted by nouvelle-personne at 11:30 AM on June 1, 2022
The first few months of K are counting and letter/sound recognition and sounding out simple words with a beginning, middle and end sound that can be attached to written letter(s). If your child is already reading three letter words and solving number facts, they are likely well ahead of if not on pace with their peers.
posted by archimago at 11:31 AM on June 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by archimago at 11:31 AM on June 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
Ask the teacher for an outline of the the lesson plans, if it's available.
posted by theora55 at 11:37 AM on June 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by theora55 at 11:37 AM on June 1, 2022 [1 favorite]
My dad loves to quote Mark Twain on that topic - "I have never let schooling interfere with my education."
You sound like you know what you need to do to compensate for missed school time, and honestly, the trip is probably more beneficial to your kid than two months of school (and I was a teacher for 15 years).
posted by SamanthaK at 11:38 AM on June 1, 2022 [17 favorites]
You sound like you know what you need to do to compensate for missed school time, and honestly, the trip is probably more beneficial to your kid than two months of school (and I was a teacher for 15 years).
posted by SamanthaK at 11:38 AM on June 1, 2022 [17 favorites]
I concur that this sounds like a wonderful opportunity for your family! I do think it's a good idea to do this in communication with the school. (Maybe before you leave you could take pictures of the school and create your own "social story"? ) The only hesitation I would have about the situation doesn't seem to apply here (e.g. there are additional considerations if a child was in "early intervention.")
posted by oceano at 11:56 AM on June 1, 2022
posted by oceano at 11:56 AM on June 1, 2022
My daughter is finishing her first year of kindergarten in the U.S. She has a little girl in her class who moved here from Poland at the beginning of the year and spoke zero English. I picked my daughter up from school yesterday and the little girl was skipping to the car pickup line hand in hand with two other kids from her class, laughing and chatting away. Take the trip, your son is gonna be fine.
posted by saladin at 12:29 PM on June 1, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by saladin at 12:29 PM on June 1, 2022 [5 favorites]
Back in my day we didn't even have Junior Kindergarten! I went to [senior] kindergarten for 6 weeks and then quit for the rest of the year. I seem to have turned out ok. Take the trip and don't look back.
posted by heatherlogan at 1:23 PM on June 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by heatherlogan at 1:23 PM on June 1, 2022 [2 favorites]
Our son missed the first few months of his combined pre-k K class because we got stuck abroad with him in a full-body cast*. He was out of the cast but not yet strong enough to walk when he joined. So he was the new kid who had to crawl around. I was really worried about that transition and how he’d do socially. But after a few weeks, he was perfectly at home, had made friends, and was running around like nothing had happened. All kids are different, of course, so ymmv, but at least in this case it was perfectly fine.
* In case anybody didn’t know this, it is not safe for kids to go down a slide sitting on a parent’s lap. If the kid’s leg gets stuck but the parent keeps sliding, it’s easy for the kid to break a hip.
posted by wyzewoman at 1:51 PM on June 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
* In case anybody didn’t know this, it is not safe for kids to go down a slide sitting on a parent’s lap. If the kid’s leg gets stuck but the parent keeps sliding, it’s easy for the kid to break a hip.
posted by wyzewoman at 1:51 PM on June 1, 2022 [3 favorites]
I was put in school late and taken out early on a frequent basis as an elementary school child - we did family trips almost every summer. We took lessons with us and I was fine.
My kid just finished kindergarten, and while I think the social/emotional part is very important for her development and sense of cohort behavior, I would totally have skipped a couple of months of the fall if we had an opportunity like the one you are describing.
At this age, learning is happening ALL THE TIME. Everywhere, all the time. School is only one part of that. Every time my kid has traveled (and we have done a fair bit, up until pandemic times) it has come with a developmental jump, like it gives her an extra burst of input from the world for her to sort out and make sense of.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 2:01 PM on June 1, 2022 [6 favorites]
My kid just finished kindergarten, and while I think the social/emotional part is very important for her development and sense of cohort behavior, I would totally have skipped a couple of months of the fall if we had an opportunity like the one you are describing.
At this age, learning is happening ALL THE TIME. Everywhere, all the time. School is only one part of that. Every time my kid has traveled (and we have done a fair bit, up until pandemic times) it has come with a developmental jump, like it gives her an extra burst of input from the world for her to sort out and make sense of.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 2:01 PM on June 1, 2022 [6 favorites]
(This is a side note, but "understands and likes to hear both languages, prefers to speak only one" is super common for kids in families like yours. It doesn't have to mean he's a perfectionist, or anything else unusual about him, and it's not going to put him at any kind of disadvantage. It's just how kids are. If he starts running into situations where he needs French — like immersion school, once he starts, or like a monolingual friend or neighbor — then he'll start turning his French listening skills into speaking skills.)
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:33 PM on June 1, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:33 PM on June 1, 2022 [5 favorites]
With the caveat that I'm a non-parent ... you're going to be arranging your life around kid's schedule for at least the next 12 years. Don't start making sacrifices before you need to; this is a win for you AND for your kid. Have fun!
posted by cyndigo at 2:47 PM on June 1, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by cyndigo at 2:47 PM on June 1, 2022 [5 favorites]
Oh my goodness yes, expose your kid and yourselves to something different and new and interesting. Not all cultures believe that hammering children with math, alphabet etc from age 0 etc is the Only Route to Success.
Here is an article about how kids in Finland start school at age 7...with lots of creative play leading up to that.
posted by lulu68 at 9:37 PM on June 1, 2022
Here is an article about how kids in Finland start school at age 7...with lots of creative play leading up to that.
posted by lulu68 at 9:37 PM on June 1, 2022
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posted by Oyéah at 10:55 AM on June 1, 2022 [1 favorite]