Do I need to look for a new job?
April 16, 2022 1:19 PM Subscribe
This job is a great professional opportunity and I started only a few months ago, so I'd like to stay. But I am overwhelmed by my immense workload. And meanwhile, a beloved, senior member of the company who is totally unqualified for my job is nevertheless gunning for my job. The stress is getting to me. Do I need to look for a job elsewhere?
A beloved, senior member of the company who is totally unqualified for my job is nevertheless gunning for my job. It's not realistic that she'd get it, but meanwhile she's furiously undermining me and essentially refusing to work with me. It's causing real damage to my relationships and my work product.
When I say "unqualified," it's a cut-and-dried matter of education and licensing. She is unable to do the work that the position requires, she simply does not have any of the training or credentials. But because she doesn't know anything about the subject, she doesn't understand that. Our mutual boss does understand that, and hired me because he needed someone with the education and licensing to do what I do, so I'm not afraid of him suddenly giving her the role.
That said, she has been the business's Girl Friday essentially since the company launched, so for years now she has been handling a lot of the sensitive, essential tasks that my department needs to take over. So when she refuses to tell me what tasks she's doing or include me in doing them, and instead just does an ad hoc, messy version of them that I discover after the fact... it causes a lot of issues. She tells my boss that she has to do things in this frantic way because I'm doing my job slowly or incorrectly. And unfortunately, I fear she has gotten some traction in convincing my boss that I'm doing my job slowly or incorrectly.
Which is devastating, because I have been working as hard as I possibly can just to try and keep up. I'm going back to working once I post this question, in fact, even though it's a beautiful Saturday afternoon. The workload is IMMENSE and it's stressing me out all on its own. For a while I was working from 7am to 11pm, and I couldn't keep that up and ended up telling my boss that I was overwhelmed and needed to scale back. He responded well and has honestly been a fantastic boss. But since the workload is already stressing me out, having her undermining me and attempting to turn our boss against me is just getting to be too much.
I also know for a fact that she has been doing this because, aside from it being obvious in her treatment of me, my boss told me flat out that she wants my job and is complaining about me. He asked me to be sensitive to her while they find her a role that she likes and takes her away from my department. I am happy to be sensitive to her. I'm happy to help with whatever process makes her problems no longer my problems. But I feel like between the workload and this office politics stuff, maybe it's not realistic to think I can succeed here.
I really want to stay for at least another year (ideally for more like 2+), because this job could help me to meet a lot of huge professional goals. This role is a promotion for me and I want that promotion to stick. I also have the opportunity to build out a whole new department here, which is exciting. And it's wonderful being on the executive team with management that I really respect. I'd like to keep working with them. That's actually the main reason that I took this job, I really like my boss.
Essentially, my question is whether you think it's worth trying to stick it out? I think that this transition period is MUCH more high stress than the job will ultimately be, both in terms of workload and office politics, but the transition period could easily last a year or more. Also, I don't know how realistic this is, but I am afraid that my boss will ultimately lose patience with me as I struggle to keep up with the workload while implementing the transformational changes he wants, especially with my colleague undermining me to him, and that he'll fire me.
It's hard for me to get perspective on the situation since I'm so entrenched in it. So I'd like to hear your perspectives.
A beloved, senior member of the company who is totally unqualified for my job is nevertheless gunning for my job. It's not realistic that she'd get it, but meanwhile she's furiously undermining me and essentially refusing to work with me. It's causing real damage to my relationships and my work product.
When I say "unqualified," it's a cut-and-dried matter of education and licensing. She is unable to do the work that the position requires, she simply does not have any of the training or credentials. But because she doesn't know anything about the subject, she doesn't understand that. Our mutual boss does understand that, and hired me because he needed someone with the education and licensing to do what I do, so I'm not afraid of him suddenly giving her the role.
That said, she has been the business's Girl Friday essentially since the company launched, so for years now she has been handling a lot of the sensitive, essential tasks that my department needs to take over. So when she refuses to tell me what tasks she's doing or include me in doing them, and instead just does an ad hoc, messy version of them that I discover after the fact... it causes a lot of issues. She tells my boss that she has to do things in this frantic way because I'm doing my job slowly or incorrectly. And unfortunately, I fear she has gotten some traction in convincing my boss that I'm doing my job slowly or incorrectly.
Which is devastating, because I have been working as hard as I possibly can just to try and keep up. I'm going back to working once I post this question, in fact, even though it's a beautiful Saturday afternoon. The workload is IMMENSE and it's stressing me out all on its own. For a while I was working from 7am to 11pm, and I couldn't keep that up and ended up telling my boss that I was overwhelmed and needed to scale back. He responded well and has honestly been a fantastic boss. But since the workload is already stressing me out, having her undermining me and attempting to turn our boss against me is just getting to be too much.
I also know for a fact that she has been doing this because, aside from it being obvious in her treatment of me, my boss told me flat out that she wants my job and is complaining about me. He asked me to be sensitive to her while they find her a role that she likes and takes her away from my department. I am happy to be sensitive to her. I'm happy to help with whatever process makes her problems no longer my problems. But I feel like between the workload and this office politics stuff, maybe it's not realistic to think I can succeed here.
I really want to stay for at least another year (ideally for more like 2+), because this job could help me to meet a lot of huge professional goals. This role is a promotion for me and I want that promotion to stick. I also have the opportunity to build out a whole new department here, which is exciting. And it's wonderful being on the executive team with management that I really respect. I'd like to keep working with them. That's actually the main reason that I took this job, I really like my boss.
Essentially, my question is whether you think it's worth trying to stick it out? I think that this transition period is MUCH more high stress than the job will ultimately be, both in terms of workload and office politics, but the transition period could easily last a year or more. Also, I don't know how realistic this is, but I am afraid that my boss will ultimately lose patience with me as I struggle to keep up with the workload while implementing the transformational changes he wants, especially with my colleague undermining me to him, and that he'll fire me.
It's hard for me to get perspective on the situation since I'm so entrenched in it. So I'd like to hear your perspectives.
It's an employees' market right now, moreso if you've got specialized skills and training. Why would you not at least look around?
posted by Alterscape at 1:34 PM on April 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Alterscape at 1:34 PM on April 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
Ignoring the internal politics, from my perspective, if you are systematically working long hours of uncompensated overtime -- and you're not the owner of this business -- then that seems like a red flag for me. This doesn't necessarily mean that you need to find another job, but it does mean you need to change the situation and turn it into a sustainable one. You may need to start thinking about your current situation differently, and clearly communicate that change to your manager. Then perhaps things may get a lot healthier and a lot more sustainable for you!
Is your manager or company executives contacting you outside of business hours and pressuring you to complete tasks over the weekend without overtime pay? Or are you putting this pressure to do unpaid overtime on yourself? if the latter -- i can empathise -- i used to be a bit like this, until i figured out it was not a winning strategy or a way to have a sustainable and mentally healthy life
Have you tried having conversations with your manager to say "given upcoming tasks A, B, C, D, E, i estimate i only have capacity to do two of these tasks in the next few weeks -- which task would you prefer me to prioritise, and which ones will we defer"?
If you shoulder all the burden of trying to do all the work yourself, then you shield your manager and company leadership from having to deal with the consequences of their failures (e.g. failure to clearly prioritise work, failure to hire, train and retain adequate staff, failure to realistically estimate effort actually required to deliver tasks, whatever). Then perhaps from their perspective there is no problem, so why does the current (unsustainable to you) situation need to change?
> opportunity to build out a whole new department here
Why will your company need to hire anyone for you to lead in your department if you are singlehandedly doing the work of 2-3 people? won't they get a much better deal if you just do all the work for a single salary?
i don't mean to interrogate -- these questions are a bit rhetorical to highlight the dysfunction of the current situation and emphasise that you continuing to _do more work_ is not your winning move. a winning move may be for you do _do a lot less work_ and start communicating more or letting the consequences of understaffing / lack of planning bubble up and give management an exciting and un-ignorable problem to solve. then you can work with them to solve it and help build out your new department.
posted by are-coral-made at 3:08 PM on April 16, 2022 [6 favorites]
Is your manager or company executives contacting you outside of business hours and pressuring you to complete tasks over the weekend without overtime pay? Or are you putting this pressure to do unpaid overtime on yourself? if the latter -- i can empathise -- i used to be a bit like this, until i figured out it was not a winning strategy or a way to have a sustainable and mentally healthy life
Have you tried having conversations with your manager to say "given upcoming tasks A, B, C, D, E, i estimate i only have capacity to do two of these tasks in the next few weeks -- which task would you prefer me to prioritise, and which ones will we defer"?
If you shoulder all the burden of trying to do all the work yourself, then you shield your manager and company leadership from having to deal with the consequences of their failures (e.g. failure to clearly prioritise work, failure to hire, train and retain adequate staff, failure to realistically estimate effort actually required to deliver tasks, whatever). Then perhaps from their perspective there is no problem, so why does the current (unsustainable to you) situation need to change?
> opportunity to build out a whole new department here
Why will your company need to hire anyone for you to lead in your department if you are singlehandedly doing the work of 2-3 people? won't they get a much better deal if you just do all the work for a single salary?
i don't mean to interrogate -- these questions are a bit rhetorical to highlight the dysfunction of the current situation and emphasise that you continuing to _do more work_ is not your winning move. a winning move may be for you do _do a lot less work_ and start communicating more or letting the consequences of understaffing / lack of planning bubble up and give management an exciting and un-ignorable problem to solve. then you can work with them to solve it and help build out your new department.
posted by are-coral-made at 3:08 PM on April 16, 2022 [6 favorites]
I think it is never a bad thing to look around and have some informational interviews/coffee with folks in your field. You may well decide to stay put but it might feel nice to be reminded that you are a good and hard working person and your are not **stuck** with this nonsense. Rather, you are choosing to wait it out because you affirmatively want to be there. On the other hand, what you're describing sounds pretty lousy and you might find something else out there that makes you feel excited and like you want to take the plunge. Either way, no harm in taking a deep breath and looking around. Best of luck and sorry things are tough.
posted by jeszac at 5:06 PM on April 16, 2022
posted by jeszac at 5:06 PM on April 16, 2022
You like your boss and it's a good career opportunity. I'd stick with it for at least a year unless it gets bad. The shitty co-worker situation is annoying but there really isn't much you can do other than wait it out. Be professional, minimise your interactions with her, and let her bad behaviour be her own undoing. Take the high road on that situation- she is her own problem, not yours. What is your problem and something you need to take action on is your workload. It is too much and not sustainable. You need to talk to your boss about this- setting priorities, and if all of the work is business critical, getting additional resources to complete it (i.e. hiring more staff, contracting some out ot out, etc.). You also need to set boundaries. Do your co-workers routinely work until 11pm? I doubt it. Neither should you. You sound young and eager to prove yourself. But don't be the workplace martyr, no one really respects that and the only prize you'll win is getting stuck with the tasks no one else wants to do. Don't check or respond to emails after 6pm. If someone assigns you a task, let them know when you can get it done by, don't feel the need to drop everything and do it immediately (unless it's your boss and they tell you its urgent). Good luck! You got this!
posted by emd3737 at 5:08 PM on April 16, 2022
posted by emd3737 at 5:08 PM on April 16, 2022
I'd stick it out, be very clear with the boss that while you want this job, Girl Friday needs to be dealt with ASAP because she's actively making everything twice as hard. Keep yourself to an 8 hour a day schedule for your own mental health and leave work at the office. No more 11pm EODs. You're not threatening to quit, you're simply explaining that the job as it exists is not one that you can imagine continuing in. It's nice that they plan to fix it eventually, but you're suffering now and won't last until whenever. They need to make it workable for you (or anyone else), unless the business exists to support Girl Friday.
posted by mumkin at 8:21 PM on April 16, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by mumkin at 8:21 PM on April 16, 2022 [3 favorites]
I'd look somewhere else. It's a good market right now. Presumably if you found this job, right now, you could find another like it, witnout this person haranguing you. A year+ of this political game playing and long hours is very likely to burn you out and could set you back on your progress to your dream career.
posted by pazazygeek at 8:37 PM on April 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by pazazygeek at 8:37 PM on April 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
I’d have a very frank conversation with your boss and HR. Bring documentation of all comments and everything she’s done. Tell him you like working with him and you like what the job could be but right now it’s untenable because of Girl Friday. I’d spell out exactly how she’s undermining you, with receipts. Then I’d tell him exactly what plans and goals you have for the company and where you think your experience could take you both - if only you weren’t constantly undermined.
Even if you leave or he fires you and replaces you with someone else (unlikely) he’s going to find she keeps doing this to whoever has your role because she wants the job - so that problem is going to exist until he deals with it, whether you’re there or not. I’d go so far as to call it harassment and I’d ask him how he plans to protect you from it. Phrase it as a problem Girl Friday has with the position rather than you, because you both know it’s not personal.
Explain that it’s taking a toll on your mental health and your ability to do your job. Then I’d start looking for another role. If he’s smart, he’ll take care of the problem now because losing a good employee and having to replace them is expensive. Either way you can move onto better things, this is the one chance you have to make this job work. If you’re planning on leaving anyway, you have nothing to lose.
posted by Jubey at 3:39 AM on April 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
Even if you leave or he fires you and replaces you with someone else (unlikely) he’s going to find she keeps doing this to whoever has your role because she wants the job - so that problem is going to exist until he deals with it, whether you’re there or not. I’d go so far as to call it harassment and I’d ask him how he plans to protect you from it. Phrase it as a problem Girl Friday has with the position rather than you, because you both know it’s not personal.
Explain that it’s taking a toll on your mental health and your ability to do your job. Then I’d start looking for another role. If he’s smart, he’ll take care of the problem now because losing a good employee and having to replace them is expensive. Either way you can move onto better things, this is the one chance you have to make this job work. If you’re planning on leaving anyway, you have nothing to lose.
posted by Jubey at 3:39 AM on April 17, 2022 [2 favorites]
The fact that you still have such a huge workload after a few months means either you or your manager does not understand the scope of your position. If a professional job is demanding you work 7am - 11pm almost every day then you need to step back and re-evaluate what steps need to be taken to make the position sustainable for the health of the company. Because otherwise you will burn out/accept a position elsewhere, the next person will burn out and so on.
I think the girl Friday is a symptom of the disconnect, not a cause of it. I could understand a couple of weeks of her having hard feeling, but this is months that your boss has done nothing to support you and instead asked you to be supportive and understanding of someone deliberately undermining you. He wants you do “transformational changes” but won’t give you the resources or support? Nah, you are going to be thrown under the bus and the next person in your role will come in and be successful and take all the glory.
So develop a plan of what you need from your manager to achieve what he wants and present it to him. That strategic thinking is presumably what he hired you for. If he won’t support your plan with real action - including addressing the girl Friday issue immediately, then look for another, healthier employer.
posted by saucysault at 8:39 AM on April 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
I think the girl Friday is a symptom of the disconnect, not a cause of it. I could understand a couple of weeks of her having hard feeling, but this is months that your boss has done nothing to support you and instead asked you to be supportive and understanding of someone deliberately undermining you. He wants you do “transformational changes” but won’t give you the resources or support? Nah, you are going to be thrown under the bus and the next person in your role will come in and be successful and take all the glory.
So develop a plan of what you need from your manager to achieve what he wants and present it to him. That strategic thinking is presumably what he hired you for. If he won’t support your plan with real action - including addressing the girl Friday issue immediately, then look for another, healthier employer.
posted by saucysault at 8:39 AM on April 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
but it’s a big if, and it’s asking a lot from your boss - so there’s no harm in having a plan B - if your industry is anything like mine, then ticking the box on LinkedIn to say that you’re open for work should mean that recruiters will let you know about opportunities - which is a low effort way of coming to know what else is out there
with luck, you won’t ever need plan B
posted by rd45 at 1:33 PM on April 16, 2022 [1 favorite]