How do I graciously bow out of an ongoing job interview?

March 29, 2022 11:51 PM

Last year, I interviewed for a job at a tech company. I ultimately didn’t get it but a few weeks ago, I was invited to interview for a completely different type of position. I’ve already had a couple of interviews with a few more scheduled throughout the week.. but it’s become fairly clear that I’m not very qualified for the role, and I don’t even think it’s the direction I want to go in my career. How do I gracefully get out of this situation without burning any bridges?
posted by anonymous to Work & Money (7 answers total)

I’m writing this more informally, thinking that’s the way to go with tech. Could be more formal. In any case:

Dear Contact,

It’s been great spending time with your team at Company X. Our recent meetings have helped me clarify that this position isn’t the best fit for me right now. I truly appreciate the opportunity to learn more about Project X and Project Y and wish you all the best with implementations.

Warmly,
Anonymous
posted by bluedaisy at 11:58 PM on March 29, 2022 [6 favorites]

This has happened to me and although it was slightly awkward to break the flow of the process, it didn't burn any bridges, and in fact I think it made them more likely to keep me in mind if a position came up that was closer to my skill set because they knew I was willing to be straight with them.
Since then I've also had this happen as interviewer, and from that perspective I would far rather a candidate said they didn't think it was a good fit for them because interviewing takes a lot of time and effort and I want to invest that in someone who we might actually be able to hire.
posted by crocomancer at 1:06 AM on March 30, 2022 [15 favorites]

This is extremely normal, it would be hard to burn bridges doing this unless you try. People expect that candidates will drop out for all sorts of reasons, it's a normal part of the hiring process. You could go for something like:

Hi [hiring manager's name],

It was good meeting with [name] and [name] [whenever you had your last interview]. Unfortunately, I don't think that this role is what I'm looking for at the moment. I appreciate the opportunity, and would definitely be open to open to working at [company] in a different role in the future, but this role isn't what I'm looking for right now.

[however you normally sign off messages]

Alternatively, you could ask again to be interviewed for the role you initially applied for — there's not much downside to that at this point. That might look like:

Hi [hiring manager's name],

It was great meeting with [name] and [name] [whenever you had your last interview]. Unfortunately, this role isn't what I'm looking for right now. If you have openings for [role you initially applied for], I'd be happy to talk about that, but I'm not interested in moving forwards with [role you're interviewing for] at the moment.

[however you normally sign off messages]

posted by wesleyac at 4:24 AM on March 30, 2022 [1 favorite]

If I were in your shoes, I'd go to the next interview and ask some probing questions about the things that you're concerned about, like:

- "it seems like you're looking for someone with a lot of experience in [thing you're concerned you're unqualified in] - do you think someone with my experience/education/certifications could be successful in this role? What do you think would be especially challenging for someone with my background?" and
- "what's the career trajectory for this role? Is this definitely something that leads to [career direction you're not interested in] or is there any potential to pivot to [career direction you're more confident that you're interested in]?"

Even if you're pretty sure that it's not the right role for you this is a good chance to practice assertive interviewing, and who knows, maybe you'll learn that the role is right for you in ways that you hadn't realized!
posted by mskyle at 6:09 AM on March 30, 2022 [3 favorites]

If you are interviewing for a job that is not aligned with your goals, by all means pull the plug on additional interviews. If you are certain the job is a bad fit, you might as well save everyone time by saying no thank you. Here is Ask a Manager on how to say no to a job offer without burning bridges. I'm confident that you can withdraw from the field without burning bridges as well.


Do consider mskyle's excellent advice if you are more worried about being qualified than about job fit. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 6:23 AM on March 30, 2022 [1 favorite]

I think most people trying to hire someone do not want a candidate that’s a bad fit or unqualified and will appreciate your honesty in telling them your feelings. However, I agree with the last poster who said you should more thoroughly explore the position and you might find you actually are qualified. Further, demonstrating your ability and initiative exploring the situation may impress people enough that they might consider you for something else.

Good luck!
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 10:56 AM on March 30, 2022

"it seems like you're looking for someone with a lot of experience in [thing you're concerned you're unqualified in] - do you think someone with my experience/education/certifications could be successful in this role?"

I've said something in phone interviews like "this role isn't a great fit for me. I'd be better-suited for something more [public-facing | marketing-related | front-end]" and had hiring managers pause to consider where I might fit. If you like the company, even if you don't like the role you've been interviewing for, it's valuable to extend the conversation for information about company culture, other roles or other information.
posted by bendy at 10:55 PM on March 30, 2022