Was I being scammed? Or was this an innocent encounter?
January 28, 2022 6:00 PM Subscribe
An odd thing happened to me about 30 years ago, when I lived in Manhattan. I've been wondering about it ever since.
I got out of work late one night (maybe 9 PM) and went to a brewpub for dinner. I was wearing a business suit and had my briefcase with me. I ordered a burger and sat at a table by myself. Next to me was another table with a man and a woman having drinks. She was 40-something, fairly well dressed, and looked like she took some care about her appearance. Her companion was at least 20 years older and more scruffy-looking. They seemed like an unlikely couple.
At some point, they caught my attention and said that they were celebrating the woman's birthday. I wished her a happy birthday and went back to eating. They then asked if they could come over to join me. I immediately thought that this was weird and potentially dangerous – but curiosity got the better of me, so I agreed.
They sat down at the table with me and proceeded to make small-talk. They were cheerful and did not seem threatening in any way, but I still had my guard up. The conversation was friendly but perhaps a bit forced. The man and I discovered a shared interest in backgammon, so we chatted on that subject for a while. They were both drinking alcoholic beverages but didn't seem obviously drunk (I wasn't drinking at all). Eventually, I finished my meal and told them I was going home after a long day. At this point, they asked if maybe they could come over to my place and continue the birthday celebration there. I politely declined. They didn't press the matter, and I left the restaurant without further event.
The whole thing was strange. I had never met these people before, and they were trying to invite themselves over to my apartment. Were they just unusually friendly folks going out for a birthday drink, or was there something more nefarious going on? What would have happened if I had agreed to take them home with me? Maybe they'd club me on the head and steal my electronics. Or maybe they'd hold me at gunpoint and make me withdraw money from an ATM. It's possible, but they just didn't seem like the type.
I got out of work late one night (maybe 9 PM) and went to a brewpub for dinner. I was wearing a business suit and had my briefcase with me. I ordered a burger and sat at a table by myself. Next to me was another table with a man and a woman having drinks. She was 40-something, fairly well dressed, and looked like she took some care about her appearance. Her companion was at least 20 years older and more scruffy-looking. They seemed like an unlikely couple.
At some point, they caught my attention and said that they were celebrating the woman's birthday. I wished her a happy birthday and went back to eating. They then asked if they could come over to join me. I immediately thought that this was weird and potentially dangerous – but curiosity got the better of me, so I agreed.
They sat down at the table with me and proceeded to make small-talk. They were cheerful and did not seem threatening in any way, but I still had my guard up. The conversation was friendly but perhaps a bit forced. The man and I discovered a shared interest in backgammon, so we chatted on that subject for a while. They were both drinking alcoholic beverages but didn't seem obviously drunk (I wasn't drinking at all). Eventually, I finished my meal and told them I was going home after a long day. At this point, they asked if maybe they could come over to my place and continue the birthday celebration there. I politely declined. They didn't press the matter, and I left the restaurant without further event.
The whole thing was strange. I had never met these people before, and they were trying to invite themselves over to my apartment. Were they just unusually friendly folks going out for a birthday drink, or was there something more nefarious going on? What would have happened if I had agreed to take them home with me? Maybe they'd club me on the head and steal my electronics. Or maybe they'd hold me at gunpoint and make me withdraw money from an ATM. It's possible, but they just didn't seem like the type.
I don’t know if its possible to know, but birthday celebration threesome does seem a strong possibility. Still, even if that appealed to you, bringing two strangers to your place does not seem like a good idea.
posted by Glinn at 6:07 PM on January 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Glinn at 6:07 PM on January 28, 2022 [3 favorites]
Totally a threesome. I think you should feel flattered.
posted by jamjam at 6:16 PM on January 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by jamjam at 6:16 PM on January 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
That was a clumsy attempt at picking you up.
posted by pleasant_confusion at 6:31 PM on January 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by pleasant_confusion at 6:31 PM on January 28, 2022 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Wow, I think you guys nailed it. In all this time, the threesome possibility never even occurred to me (probably a function of my naïveté and poor self-esteem – like who would ever want to pick up me?).
posted by alex1965 at 6:32 PM on January 28, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by alex1965 at 6:32 PM on January 28, 2022 [11 favorites]
Best answer: could come over to my [or their] place and continue the birthday celebration there
FWIW, this is basically always an invitation for sex. Or illicit drugs. Or both.
They probably offered your place (rather than asking if you wanted to continue the party back at their place) because they were from out of town and either staying at a hotel with thin walls or possibly staying with a friend/relative who wouldn't be on-board with wild sex happening in their living room. It's also quite possible that she was a prostitute/escort already hired by him, hence their different appearances.
posted by aramaic at 6:55 PM on January 28, 2022 [15 favorites]
FWIW, this is basically always an invitation for sex. Or illicit drugs. Or both.
They probably offered your place (rather than asking if you wanted to continue the party back at their place) because they were from out of town and either staying at a hotel with thin walls or possibly staying with a friend/relative who wouldn't be on-board with wild sex happening in their living room. It's also quite possible that she was a prostitute/escort already hired by him, hence their different appearances.
posted by aramaic at 6:55 PM on January 28, 2022 [15 favorites]
Best answer: My guess was that he was the client, she was an escort or long term sugar baby, and they were playing out his fantasy that they would charm and seduce and have a tiresome with someone. They wanted it to be at your place because she did outcalls only, and he was married. I’m sure they had some ... fun imagining what would have happened if you had agreed.
posted by nouvelle-personne at 7:37 PM on January 28, 2022 [15 favorites]
posted by nouvelle-personne at 7:37 PM on January 28, 2022 [15 favorites]
LOL "tiresome", best typo evar.
posted by intermod at 8:00 PM on January 28, 2022 [63 favorites]
posted by intermod at 8:00 PM on January 28, 2022 [63 favorites]
Up until they tried to make you all go home together I was thinking this sounds exactly like they're trying to sell you Amway. But yeah. Threesome.
posted by MiraK at 8:09 PM on January 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by MiraK at 8:09 PM on January 28, 2022 [6 favorites]
Threesome AND steal your electronics.
posted by mani at 1:46 AM on January 29, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by mani at 1:46 AM on January 29, 2022 [11 favorites]
See also: Hey my girlfriend saw you from across the bar and we really dig your vibe. Can we buy you a drink? memes.
posted by limeonaire at 7:25 AM on January 29, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by limeonaire at 7:25 AM on January 29, 2022 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: Yeah, she was totally a higher-end prostitute. Now I have to live with the regret and self-loathing that comes from being so clueless that I missed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Thanks a lot, AskMeFi.
posted by alex1965 at 7:30 AM on January 29, 2022 [21 favorites]
posted by alex1965 at 7:30 AM on January 29, 2022 [21 favorites]
Ten years after it happened, I was thinking about a situation and realized that it was someone was trying to angle me in for a threesome. Dawn breaks on Marblehead.
posted by PussKillian at 9:26 AM on January 29, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by PussKillian at 9:26 AM on January 29, 2022 [1 favorite]
Might've just been a younger "trophy" -ish wife, too.
But, yeah. They totally wanted to pick you up. If she was chatty and friendly and comfortable, too... that suggests wife, not escort. She could've just been dressed up cuz, y'know... it really was her birthday?
posted by stormyteal at 12:04 PM on January 29, 2022 [1 favorite]
But, yeah. They totally wanted to pick you up. If she was chatty and friendly and comfortable, too... that suggests wife, not escort. She could've just been dressed up cuz, y'know... it really was her birthday?
posted by stormyteal at 12:04 PM on January 29, 2022 [1 favorite]
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posted by southern_sky at 6:04 PM on January 28, 2022 [105 favorites]