you have solved the problem of bra straps falling down. how??
January 17, 2022 1:06 PM Subscribe
heavy boobs + narrow, sloping shoulders = constant misery.
every couple of years I reach the end of my patience, try something for a few days, it fails, I go back to just constantly grabbing at the the straps and hoisting and looking like a slob. It has been almost 40 years of this and I have hated every second of it.
what doesn't work:
1. switching to racerback bras. I wear mostly scoop and v neck tops, don't want stuff showing. Really I need to keep the bras I've got, it's damn near impossible to find ones that fit anyway and I finally found these so I have to keep them.
2. I had these little elastic straps that had bra-like clasps on both ends, the idea was to clasp them between the straps to form a sort of "H" across the back. This was the closest I've come to a solution, but they tended to pop off when I was trying to get a bra on, and were never tight enough. Mainly I need something I don't need someone else to put on for me.
3. plastic clasps that grab the straps together in the back. those require someone else to put them on and off. No.
4. sewing little holders with mini snaps onto the inside shoulder seams of my clothes. Giant pain in the ass and I'm not willing to do it for every shirt I own.
Right now I am thinking about sewing a piece of (elastic?) between the straps of all my bras, to form a "H" across the back. Maybe forming a loop around the back of each strap? Would love any tried and true solutions before I start a sewing frenzy.
every couple of years I reach the end of my patience, try something for a few days, it fails, I go back to just constantly grabbing at the the straps and hoisting and looking like a slob. It has been almost 40 years of this and I have hated every second of it.
what doesn't work:
1. switching to racerback bras. I wear mostly scoop and v neck tops, don't want stuff showing. Really I need to keep the bras I've got, it's damn near impossible to find ones that fit anyway and I finally found these so I have to keep them.
2. I had these little elastic straps that had bra-like clasps on both ends, the idea was to clasp them between the straps to form a sort of "H" across the back. This was the closest I've come to a solution, but they tended to pop off when I was trying to get a bra on, and were never tight enough. Mainly I need something I don't need someone else to put on for me.
3. plastic clasps that grab the straps together in the back. those require someone else to put them on and off. No.
4. sewing little holders with mini snaps onto the inside shoulder seams of my clothes. Giant pain in the ass and I'm not willing to do it for every shirt I own.
Right now I am thinking about sewing a piece of (elastic?) between the straps of all my bras, to form a "H" across the back. Maybe forming a loop around the back of each strap? Would love any tried and true solutions before I start a sewing frenzy.
When we sew bathing suits for my mom, we sew the straps so that they angle toward the center back more than patterns typically call for. That's going to be a bit ugly on a commercially made bra, but often you *can* cut the strap off close to the bra back and move it over a couple of inches toward the center and sew it back on. Works best if you've got a fair bit of play in the adjustable straps so you have room to move them without making them too short.
I have done the loop thing you suggest with bathing suits, as well. It works okay, you have to play around a bit to figure out exactly how long to make the strap between the two sides so that it pulls them in, without pulling them right into visibility. Will make getting the bra on a little more cumbersome, but not impossible.
posted by jacquilynne at 1:19 PM on January 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
I have done the loop thing you suggest with bathing suits, as well. It works okay, you have to play around a bit to figure out exactly how long to make the strap between the two sides so that it pulls them in, without pulling them right into visibility. Will make getting the bra on a little more cumbersome, but not impossible.
posted by jacquilynne at 1:19 PM on January 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I can't vouch personally but there are like silicone bra strap pad things that are supposed to help with slipping + digging in. They have good reviews, mostly. (There are other brands too)
posted by brainmouse at 2:03 PM on January 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by brainmouse at 2:03 PM on January 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Racer back bras. I had two awful shoulder surgeries, and I used these racer back Mondetta travel dresses to do the heavy lifting. They make beautiful racerback bras anymore, and sports bras also work. Right now I am wearing a merino wool long sleeve t-shirt, with a Mondetta travel dress over it (for my bra,) with French terry leggings, wool socks, and a big shaggy fleece hoody over the dress. This form of undergarment puts the weight over the collar bones and sides of the neck, it encourages me to stand and sit up straight.
posted by Oyéah at 2:06 PM on January 17, 2022
posted by Oyéah at 2:06 PM on January 17, 2022
Have you done a professional bra fit not at a mall store? FWIW as a large chested woman with a similar problem, I was always encouraged to get a bigger band size but I had a fit recently and my band size decreased and I no longer have this problem (caveat - I did get new bras and realize that you are hoping to avoid this - but maybe for the future?)
posted by turtlefu at 2:24 PM on January 17, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by turtlefu at 2:24 PM on January 17, 2022 [6 favorites]
Best answer: When you're shopping for bras, check out the Herroom website. They're a bra retailer that sells bras in a range of brands and sizes.
Most bra retail websites allow shoppers to filter by a relatively few attributes, such as band and cup size, color, brand, etc.
But Herroom also allows shoppers to filter for bras whose straps are less likely to fall down, using the extensive drop-down menu under "Features." Look for bras with "center-pull straps" (where the straps areattached in the middle of the cup, not the outside edges) or "kicked-in back straps" (straps that are set closer together in the back).
FYI: If you want to try a couple of the bras you see on Herroom that have these close-set straps, I would recommend ordering from Herroom only if you are the type of person who gets something in the mail, tries it on right away, and is prepared to return it within 30 days of purchase, in the original packaging, with the original tags (as per Herroom's return policy).
I have been challenged to meet all of these conditions and have wound up having to keep bras that don't work for me. If this is a possibility for you, I suggest writing down the brand and style of center-pull or kicked-in strap bra, and buying it from a local retailer or a different online retailer with a less stringent return policy.
posted by virago at 2:37 PM on January 17, 2022 [11 favorites]
Most bra retail websites allow shoppers to filter by a relatively few attributes, such as band and cup size, color, brand, etc.
But Herroom also allows shoppers to filter for bras whose straps are less likely to fall down, using the extensive drop-down menu under "Features." Look for bras with "center-pull straps" (where the straps areattached in the middle of the cup, not the outside edges) or "kicked-in back straps" (straps that are set closer together in the back).
FYI: If you want to try a couple of the bras you see on Herroom that have these close-set straps, I would recommend ordering from Herroom only if you are the type of person who gets something in the mail, tries it on right away, and is prepared to return it within 30 days of purchase, in the original packaging, with the original tags (as per Herroom's return policy).
I have been challenged to meet all of these conditions and have wound up having to keep bras that don't work for me. If this is a possibility for you, I suggest writing down the brand and style of center-pull or kicked-in strap bra, and buying it from a local retailer or a different online retailer with a less stringent return policy.
posted by virago at 2:37 PM on January 17, 2022 [11 favorites]
2. I had these little elastic straps that had bra-like clasps on both ends, the idea was to clasp them between the straps to form a sort of "H" across the back. This was the closest I've come to a solution, but they tended to pop off when I was trying to get a bra on, and were never tight enough. Mainly I need something I don't need someone else to put on for me.
This is my solution, and I've only found one style/type that works for me, ymmv. My friendly local specialty bra store makes single eye-hook straps made from good quality bra/garter strap material, you know the kind that's satiny on one side and soft/padded on the the other. They're have a bit of give, but not too much, and historically, I lose them before they've stretched out past the point of usability, but we're talking YEARS here. They make them in different lengths, the one I'm wearing is either 18" or 20", but they'll custom make them on request. They only have the 16" on their site right now.
The trick to fitting it is that it should look like the one in the picture, cinching in maybe an inch on either side. Any smaller and it's impossible to get your bra off yourself. This way you just unhook the bra, pull the girls out of the cups and pull the whole thing over your head.
I'd be happy to answer more detailed questions over memail, if you'd like.
posted by ApathyGirl at 4:16 PM on January 17, 2022
This is my solution, and I've only found one style/type that works for me, ymmv. My friendly local specialty bra store makes single eye-hook straps made from good quality bra/garter strap material, you know the kind that's satiny on one side and soft/padded on the the other. They're have a bit of give, but not too much, and historically, I lose them before they've stretched out past the point of usability, but we're talking YEARS here. They make them in different lengths, the one I'm wearing is either 18" or 20", but they'll custom make them on request. They only have the 16" on their site right now.
The trick to fitting it is that it should look like the one in the picture, cinching in maybe an inch on either side. Any smaller and it's impossible to get your bra off yourself. This way you just unhook the bra, pull the girls out of the cups and pull the whole thing over your head.
I'd be happy to answer more detailed questions over memail, if you'd like.
posted by ApathyGirl at 4:16 PM on January 17, 2022
A different approach is to build up your shoulders. I find that when my shoulder muscles are strong and toned (in the Before Times, of course) my bra straps don't fall down. In fact, I've started doing the Arnold Schwarzenegger shoulder presses for that specific purpose since I can't go to the gym because... well, you know.
posted by DrGail at 4:20 PM on January 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by DrGail at 4:20 PM on January 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I picked up a package of these "strap tamers" at Target many years ago and love them. They're great for boat-neck shirts, etc. You start with your bra and shirt already on. Simply look down at your shoulder and attach the safety pin part inside your shirt to the underside of your shoulder seam, and then slip your bra strap into the pink plastic clip. Make sure the pink clip opening is pointing toward your neck so the strap is held securely. Quick to put on and take off, and very effective.
posted by scrubjay at 4:28 PM on January 17, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by scrubjay at 4:28 PM on January 17, 2022 [4 favorites]
I notice this problem primarily with underwire bras- the cups shift up when you move and gradually push the straps up and off the shoulder. I switch to these sort of sports bra/bralett things that provide support but don't shift around like an underwire. There are umpteen of these on Amazon, some of them have adjustable bands under the bust, which are extra supportive but still don't cause strap slippage.
Lululemon (ugh, I know) makes my favorites. I buy mine on Poshmark so I don't have to give them my business.
posted by ananci at 4:52 PM on January 17, 2022
Lululemon (ugh, I know) makes my favorites. I buy mine on Poshmark so I don't have to give them my business.
posted by ananci at 4:52 PM on January 17, 2022
I ride horses and had the same problem with my straps constantly falling until I switched to bras like this, as opposed to this. The unbroken transition from the body of the bra into the strap has made all the difference. Since I changed to this style, I haven't lost a strap, and it's been several years.
posted by Dolley at 5:33 PM on January 17, 2022
posted by Dolley at 5:33 PM on January 17, 2022
Best answer: The only bras that have straps that stay up are those by Wacoal. Their design (especially those offered with large band/cup sizes) are outstanding. They’re pricy, but well worth the cost to not be continuously tugging those drooping straps.
posted by kittygrandma at 5:48 PM on January 17, 2022
posted by kittygrandma at 5:48 PM on January 17, 2022
This may be something you’ve already tried, but someone recommended the Reddit forum “aBraThatFits,” a year or two ago, which led me to discover that I’ve been wearing bras with too large bands and too small cups for my entire bra-wearing life. Bras with smaller bands naturally have closer set straps, and that and the overall better fit my straps slide from my shoulders at least 75% less frequently.
posted by Kriesa at 5:56 PM on January 17, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by Kriesa at 5:56 PM on January 17, 2022 [4 favorites]
I second the observation that the design of underwire bras tends to allow the straps to go slack in certain positions, and this causes slippage. I have switched to wearing bralettes almost exclusively, and I can't remember the last time I had a strap slip.
I know that you specifically don't want to replace your current bras right now, so this is a long-term suggestion. I know that not everyone likes or can wear bralettes, and obviously they provide less support and a very different shape, so YMMV -- but as a data point I believed for years that I couldn't wear bralettes because of my cup size, and it turns out that I can, and I now prefer them.
(There's a specific design I get from a local shop which has separate shaped cups, which I find to be particularly good under low-cut and v-necked tops. This may seem counterintuitive, but the centre of an underwire bra is pressed up against your sternum, which makes it more visible from outside, whereas a wireless bra has the centre much further forward, closer to the fabric of the garment and so more concealed.)
posted by confluency at 12:01 AM on January 18, 2022
I know that you specifically don't want to replace your current bras right now, so this is a long-term suggestion. I know that not everyone likes or can wear bralettes, and obviously they provide less support and a very different shape, so YMMV -- but as a data point I believed for years that I couldn't wear bralettes because of my cup size, and it turns out that I can, and I now prefer them.
(There's a specific design I get from a local shop which has separate shaped cups, which I find to be particularly good under low-cut and v-necked tops. This may seem counterintuitive, but the centre of an underwire bra is pressed up against your sternum, which makes it more visible from outside, whereas a wireless bra has the centre much further forward, closer to the fabric of the garment and so more concealed.)
posted by confluency at 12:01 AM on January 18, 2022
Are you already using the tightest set of hooks/eyes on your bra? I have had this issue with bras with too large a band in the past—not very intuitive that it would make a difference, but basically I think I put on the bra with a certain length of strap and it’s fine, but once it starts to ride up with normal movement because the band is too loose, that makes the straps too long and they then fall off my shoulders. I second the advice for a professional fitting if possible.
posted by music for skeletons at 2:59 AM on January 18, 2022
posted by music for skeletons at 2:59 AM on January 18, 2022
I know, I know you said you are against racerbacks. But amid the pandemic I transitioned to only racerback bras -- every single other style, including Wacoal or the bralettes or the type that Dolley linked to, slide off my nonexistent slopey shoulders. I finally said "fuck it" -- especially after all The Styles in the last few years have featured visible underwear in some form, either off-shoulder shirts or see-through shirts, not that I follow Styles but still, it's apparently Acceptable -- and went full racerback. My go-to is the Patagonia Barely bra.
I am so, so much more comfortable. Worth it.
And it's not the case that my straps are always showing. Sometimes they do and fall within my old-lady "fuck it" attitude. Sometimes they don't at all. Sometimes my falling straps would show, too, especially with sleeveless shirts. Sometimes I choose a different shirt, if I'm really concerned. Try a few and see how it feels.
posted by Dashy at 8:47 AM on January 18, 2022
I am so, so much more comfortable. Worth it.
And it's not the case that my straps are always showing. Sometimes they do and fall within my old-lady "fuck it" attitude. Sometimes they don't at all. Sometimes my falling straps would show, too, especially with sleeveless shirts. Sometimes I choose a different shirt, if I'm really concerned. Try a few and see how it feels.
posted by Dashy at 8:47 AM on January 18, 2022
Best answer: As a temporary solution, consider tying some dental floss between the backs of your bra straps. Similar to your idea of elastic to make the H shape, just with less sewing, and very invisible. Note that this means you will have to put on your bras differently, as the back will no longer be open.
posted by danceswithlight at 9:53 AM on January 18, 2022
posted by danceswithlight at 9:53 AM on January 18, 2022
Best answer: Oh! And if you don’t want to leave it there all the time, there are also ways to attach the horizontal bra strap yourself during the process of putting on your bra. You just have to put on your bra differently.
Take a regular bra, put it around your waist “backwards” so that the clasp is in front and the cups are in back (and the shoulder straps are still hanging down empty), fasten the clasp, attach the horizontal strap where you want it, spin the bra around so the the cups are now in front, and put your arms through the straps. The last step will be a bit trickier when the horizontal strap is in place, because it effectively makes the arm holes smaller, but should still be possible.
posted by danceswithlight at 10:07 AM on January 18, 2022
Take a regular bra, put it around your waist “backwards” so that the clasp is in front and the cups are in back (and the shoulder straps are still hanging down empty), fasten the clasp, attach the horizontal strap where you want it, spin the bra around so the the cups are now in front, and put your arms through the straps. The last step will be a bit trickier when the horizontal strap is in place, because it effectively makes the arm holes smaller, but should still be possible.
posted by danceswithlight at 10:07 AM on January 18, 2022
Response by poster: popping back in to say I ordered the silicone thingies that brainmouse suggested and... they work!! I don't know if they're the ideal solution, as they're a bit visible under thin fabric, but I haven't yanked my straps up since I put them on a few hours ago! keep the solutions coming folks, let's create a whole trove of options.
posted by fingersandtoes at 5:57 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by fingersandtoes at 5:57 PM on January 18, 2022 [1 favorite]
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