Could this be considered "stalking"?
January 8, 2022 8:34 PM Subscribe
A couple of years ago my wife decided she had had enough of her lunatic mom; she blocked all email and telephone communication with her mother. Then on one day in 2020 her mom showed up at our front door. We had never given her our address.
We were living on my family’s farm on an unmarked road in the middle of nowhere. The farm was not in our name, it was in either my mother’s name or my grandmother’s name, I don’t remember who “legally” owned it at the time. Our phone number was not listed in the telephone books. Our road was unmarked. Our house had no number. Even local authorities such as emergency responders could barely find the place. All her mother had to contact us was my wife’s cell number and her email.
Despite all this and not having spoken to her mother in at least 15 months her mother, who lives more than 1,500 miles away, showed up at our house banging on our front door. As per her mother’s own admission, she had been observing our house for a few weeks, I assume hiding in some bushes somewhere because we would have noticed a vehicle lurking around our house. She even timed her “appearance” for a day she knew we were home and wouldn’t be at work (did she know our work schedule?!)!
Does this classify as “stalking” from a legal standpoint? It certainly caused us quite a bit of emotional distress.
Her mother claims she acted as any “normal” mother would if her daughter didn’t want to talk to her anymore, even though the whole reason my wife stopped talking to her mom is because she got fed up with being insulted and abused.
Since then we have moved into an apartment in a city of about 1 million people. My wife and her mother are on better (but not great) terms but we still refuse to provide her mother any details on where we live. Her mother still throws a fit that she doesn’t know where we live; she says we’re unnecessarily paranoid.
I am just curious if what she did tracking us down — I don’t know how she did it and frankly I am not sure I want to — and monitoring our movements after being told by my wife that she didn’t want to talk to her anymore (in writing) would constitute criminal “stalking” or “harassment”.
We were living on my family’s farm on an unmarked road in the middle of nowhere. The farm was not in our name, it was in either my mother’s name or my grandmother’s name, I don’t remember who “legally” owned it at the time. Our phone number was not listed in the telephone books. Our road was unmarked. Our house had no number. Even local authorities such as emergency responders could barely find the place. All her mother had to contact us was my wife’s cell number and her email.
Despite all this and not having spoken to her mother in at least 15 months her mother, who lives more than 1,500 miles away, showed up at our house banging on our front door. As per her mother’s own admission, she had been observing our house for a few weeks, I assume hiding in some bushes somewhere because we would have noticed a vehicle lurking around our house. She even timed her “appearance” for a day she knew we were home and wouldn’t be at work (did she know our work schedule?!)!
Does this classify as “stalking” from a legal standpoint? It certainly caused us quite a bit of emotional distress.
Her mother claims she acted as any “normal” mother would if her daughter didn’t want to talk to her anymore, even though the whole reason my wife stopped talking to her mom is because she got fed up with being insulted and abused.
Since then we have moved into an apartment in a city of about 1 million people. My wife and her mother are on better (but not great) terms but we still refuse to provide her mother any details on where we live. Her mother still throws a fit that she doesn’t know where we live; she says we’re unnecessarily paranoid.
I am just curious if what she did tracking us down — I don’t know how she did it and frankly I am not sure I want to — and monitoring our movements after being told by my wife that she didn’t want to talk to her anymore (in writing) would constitute criminal “stalking” or “harassment”.
Whose definition do you care about and why? Language isn't fixed or clear, which is why there even are "legal" definitions of terms -- they can differ from everyday definitions, and those can differ from person to person or from culture to culture.
However, if you're asking me if it's messed up -- yes.
posted by amtho at 8:39 PM on January 8, 2022 [18 favorites]
However, if you're asking me if it's messed up -- yes.
posted by amtho at 8:39 PM on January 8, 2022 [18 favorites]
Yes, I would consider this stalking.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it came from geotagged social media posts. Either that or one of the paid services (I assume you may have received commercial mail such as bills and statements, or that you paid utilities at that location).
posted by slkinsey at 9:02 PM on January 8, 2022 [4 favorites]
I wouldn’t be surprised if it came from geotagged social media posts. Either that or one of the paid services (I assume you may have received commercial mail such as bills and statements, or that you paid utilities at that location).
posted by slkinsey at 9:02 PM on January 8, 2022 [4 favorites]
Credit bureau databases are going to have your current address if you've ever paid a bill (anywhere) or a mortgage and submitted that address. I don't know for sure, but it's a safe bet that some savvy private investigators have access to such databases. To be sure, this would be a major breach of the terms of service of such databases.
posted by Skwirl at 9:13 PM on January 8, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by Skwirl at 9:13 PM on January 8, 2022 [4 favorites]
I just googled it, PIs definitely have access to such databases. A couple of the listed databases in this survey are used mostly for credit bureaus...
Link
posted by Skwirl at 9:17 PM on January 8, 2022 [5 favorites]
Link
posted by Skwirl at 9:17 PM on January 8, 2022 [5 favorites]
Stalking and harassment usually rise to the level of criminal charges if there is a pattern of behavior. Not always, but mostly.
If this incident happened once, it might be considered stalking depending on exact circumstances and your location (as ftm asked).
Consider though, that if the mother knows that your wife doesn't want anything to do with her, and repeatedly tried to communicate with her, then shows up, that is a pattern of behavior that might be criminal depending on the situation and where you live.
Local domestic violence agencies will be able to provide you with specific information/advice, if you need it, but also offer services if you or your wife decide you want them, in case you're dealing with emotional fallout from this. And you didn't ask this, but you can usually apply for whatever your local equivalent of an anti-harassment order without having a criminal case, if you decide you want it. Advocates don't recommend orders for everyone, but they can have their place in helping people stay safe.
posted by Gorgik at 9:21 PM on January 8, 2022 [7 favorites]
If this incident happened once, it might be considered stalking depending on exact circumstances and your location (as ftm asked).
Consider though, that if the mother knows that your wife doesn't want anything to do with her, and repeatedly tried to communicate with her, then shows up, that is a pattern of behavior that might be criminal depending on the situation and where you live.
Local domestic violence agencies will be able to provide you with specific information/advice, if you need it, but also offer services if you or your wife decide you want them, in case you're dealing with emotional fallout from this. And you didn't ask this, but you can usually apply for whatever your local equivalent of an anti-harassment order without having a criminal case, if you decide you want it. Advocates don't recommend orders for everyone, but they can have their place in helping people stay safe.
posted by Gorgik at 9:21 PM on January 8, 2022 [7 favorites]
Don’t underestimate how big people’s mouths are. Someone who knows the mom could have blabbed. Someone almost always does.
I don’t know the answer to your question but it may not have taken criminal tactics to find your location.
posted by kapers at 9:58 PM on January 8, 2022 [15 favorites]
I don’t know the answer to your question but it may not have taken criminal tactics to find your location.
posted by kapers at 9:58 PM on January 8, 2022 [15 favorites]
If you haven't already, I recommend you read Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker, a leading expert on stalking. It has a lot of good advice on how to dissuade stalkers. You might also take a look at this set of great essays about estranged parents, especially this one about stalking.
posted by Susan PG at 10:28 PM on January 8, 2022 [15 favorites]
posted by Susan PG at 10:28 PM on January 8, 2022 [15 favorites]
It does sound like your in-laws are pretty well off, and may have hired a PI to develop enough information to confront you.
I suspected the PI did the following:
1) Got some contacts in the phone company who got the cell phone localized to a rough geographical region
2) Cross-referenced property records owned by any of your relatives, or any of the same surname to narrow down the target(s) to surveil.
3) Either staked out the road or installed a hidden camera to figure out your schedule and how many cars go in and out of the place, and thus, the schedule.
Step 1 is optional, and is probably illegal. Steps 2 and 3 are legal if done correctly.
I would suggest you and your wife switch to burner phones that are turned OFF until you are ready to make a call, and/or VOIP service such as Google Voice (with number). If mommy wants to talk she'd just have to leave a message. You'll call her back from a random location.
posted by kschang at 11:03 PM on January 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
I suspected the PI did the following:
1) Got some contacts in the phone company who got the cell phone localized to a rough geographical region
2) Cross-referenced property records owned by any of your relatives, or any of the same surname to narrow down the target(s) to surveil.
3) Either staked out the road or installed a hidden camera to figure out your schedule and how many cars go in and out of the place, and thus, the schedule.
Step 1 is optional, and is probably illegal. Steps 2 and 3 are legal if done correctly.
I would suggest you and your wife switch to burner phones that are turned OFF until you are ready to make a call, and/or VOIP service such as Google Voice (with number). If mommy wants to talk she'd just have to leave a message. You'll call her back from a random location.
posted by kschang at 11:03 PM on January 8, 2022 [3 favorites]
I don't know if it meets the legal definition of stalking, but it certainly as fuck should.
The fact that your family had a farm could have already come up in conversation, she could have seen it on social media, or she simply could have hunted around for properties with the family name on it. If she looked at the property using Google Earth, she would have known where it was situated regardless of the fact that there were no house numbers. If your cars happened to appear, that would be confirmation to her that it was the right place to look.
Also, it's easy to find what address is attached to a cell phone number online. I did that once when I suspected someone I was dating was lying about himself. Indeed, the last name was slightly different from what he told me, and so was the city. I found a woman living at that address and she turned out to be his wife.
Presumably your wife's mom knows her DOB and SSN, so she can easily see her credit report.
posted by Flock of Cynthiabirds at 11:07 PM on January 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
The fact that your family had a farm could have already come up in conversation, she could have seen it on social media, or she simply could have hunted around for properties with the family name on it. If she looked at the property using Google Earth, she would have known where it was situated regardless of the fact that there were no house numbers. If your cars happened to appear, that would be confirmation to her that it was the right place to look.
Also, it's easy to find what address is attached to a cell phone number online. I did that once when I suspected someone I was dating was lying about himself. Indeed, the last name was slightly different from what he told me, and so was the city. I found a woman living at that address and she turned out to be his wife.
Presumably your wife's mom knows her DOB and SSN, so she can easily see her credit report.
posted by Flock of Cynthiabirds at 11:07 PM on January 8, 2022 [1 favorite]
In my jurisdiction, the visit alone would not be legally stalking or harassment. If it happened more than once or was part of a wider repeated pattern of behaviour then it probably/possibly would. Your jurisdiction might be different.
From a non-legal point of view, it sounds distressing, and I think it would be much preferable for it not to happen again. I agree with Gorgik that domestic violence charities will probably be the most helpful to you. You can contact them even though this is not about intimate partner abuse and there's been no actual violence. If they can't help you directly they should be able to point you in the direction of someone who can.
posted by plonkee at 1:45 AM on January 9, 2022
From a non-legal point of view, it sounds distressing, and I think it would be much preferable for it not to happen again. I agree with Gorgik that domestic violence charities will probably be the most helpful to you. You can contact them even though this is not about intimate partner abuse and there's been no actual violence. If they can't help you directly they should be able to point you in the direction of someone who can.
posted by plonkee at 1:45 AM on January 9, 2022
The poster is not asking for ideas on how they were found, and explicitly stated they probably don't want to know.
A lot of commenters, ignoring the above fact and coming up with elaborate suggestions, are also skipping over the statement "We were living on my family’s farm..."
Focus on the question asked.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 3:26 AM on January 9, 2022 [6 favorites]
A lot of commenters, ignoring the above fact and coming up with elaborate suggestions, are also skipping over the statement "We were living on my family’s farm..."
Focus on the question asked.
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 3:26 AM on January 9, 2022 [6 favorites]
In a lot of places, the legal definition of stalking requires a repeated pattern of behaviour that's distressing and invasive to the victim. I would say (and IANAL) if her mother was indeed observing your property and you could get her to admit that, it may constitute stalking, though obviously it would depend on the law where you are specifically. The fact that her mother has already been told not to talk to her in writing (which you presumably have a copy of) would help make your case.
That said if you are worried about it happening again, it may be time to consult a lawyer about getting a restraining order of some kind, which would give your wife much more of a legal foundation should her mother try to find you again.
posted by fight or flight at 5:56 AM on January 9, 2022
That said if you are worried about it happening again, it may be time to consult a lawyer about getting a restraining order of some kind, which would give your wife much more of a legal foundation should her mother try to find you again.
posted by fight or flight at 5:56 AM on January 9, 2022
It sure sounds like stalking to me.
To elaborate: Our society has traditionally framed stalking as unwanted and repeated contact carried out by a former spouse or partner -- someone you have a right to cut off ties with -- and excluded unwanted and repeated contact carried out by estranged parents -- people who supposedly are entitled to a relationship with their adult children, by virtue of sharing DNA with them.
But recognition is growing that parents aren't entitled to have their adult children in their lives, and as fight or flight pointed out, there are legal steps that can be taken to acknowledge this formally.
posted by virago at 6:09 AM on January 9, 2022 [2 favorites]
To elaborate: Our society has traditionally framed stalking as unwanted and repeated contact carried out by a former spouse or partner -- someone you have a right to cut off ties with -- and excluded unwanted and repeated contact carried out by estranged parents -- people who supposedly are entitled to a relationship with their adult children, by virtue of sharing DNA with them.
But recognition is growing that parents aren't entitled to have their adult children in their lives, and as fight or flight pointed out, there are legal steps that can be taken to acknowledge this formally.
posted by virago at 6:09 AM on January 9, 2022 [2 favorites]
You can google stalking statutes in whatever jurisdiction you live in. Here is a civil stalking statute in Illinois, for example, that can allow someone to obtain a "no contact order" from the court. Note that it refers to a "pattern" of stalking activity, which is more than one incident. I haven't reviewed any other statutes, so I'm just guessing, but I would guess that a single incident would tend not to be considered stalking in most places, because, for example, a single incident might represent a misunderstanding or miscommunication.
posted by Mid at 6:16 AM on January 9, 2022
posted by Mid at 6:16 AM on January 9, 2022
I once had a conversation with a judge about what constituted stalking and/or harassment in the context of getting a restraining order, and he happened to use an example very similar to your scenario. The distinction he made–and this is definitely the sort of thing that might change by jurisdiction, but I thought it was a useful framing–was whether the aggressor had any legitimate reason to engage in their behavior. Your wife's mother certainly believes she has one, but going by the examples the judge gave to me (custody issues, unresolved business disputes, landlord/tenant stuff, etc.), "a mother's love" would not in fact constitute a legitimate reason to in the legal system.
posted by teremala at 6:32 AM on January 9, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by teremala at 6:32 AM on January 9, 2022 [3 favorites]
As per her mother’s own admission, she had been observing our house for a few weeks, I assume hiding in some bushes somewhere because we would have noticed a vehicle lurking around our house. She even timed her “appearance” for a day she knew we were home and wouldn’t be at work (did she know our work schedule?!)!
Legal statutes will vary by state but the specific things you mention--showing up unannounced, without a reason to be there, with every reason to believe their presence is not wanted, and "observing the house" specifically--imply stalking. However stalking is a pattern and if this was one incident it can really depend on the local definitions. In any case, however, that sounds scary and unpleasant. There is nothing normal about her behavior. Your mother-in-law can want what she wants, but that doesn't make it okay, or even legal.
posted by jessamyn at 9:33 AM on January 9, 2022 [2 favorites]
Legal statutes will vary by state but the specific things you mention--showing up unannounced, without a reason to be there, with every reason to believe their presence is not wanted, and "observing the house" specifically--imply stalking. However stalking is a pattern and if this was one incident it can really depend on the local definitions. In any case, however, that sounds scary and unpleasant. There is nothing normal about her behavior. Your mother-in-law can want what she wants, but that doesn't make it okay, or even legal.
posted by jessamyn at 9:33 AM on January 9, 2022 [2 favorites]
The actual laws around "stalking" (which sometimes don't exist at all and the closest you can get is some kind of harassment statute) vary wildly, so you would have to research your actual local laws.
But what most of them have in common is that at some point you have to (by some locally-legally-defined mechanism) tell the person to leave you alone. Like, you can't file stalking charges on a door-to-door salesperson or someone who's lost knocking on your door, and even something more repetitive like a neighbor coming over constantly to complain about noise is gray-area stuff, until you declare some kind of boundary in a legally-defined way.
If you're actually just asking for a gut-check: Yes, the behavior in question is inappropriate and it would not be overreaction to talk to your local police or sheriff (in some places it's the SD that deals with property-encroachment issues like trespassing or harassment) and let them explain what your options are. It's probably best to call the non-emergency number and ask for an appointment (by phone or in person) to have someone advise you on first steps.
You will probably have to pursue some kind of no-contact order, and you will probably have to formally inform her not to trespass on the property where you work or live. You will likely have to interact with her in some way to complete this process.
The police/sheriff should be able to tell you what steps to take if she returns to your work or residence, which will probably involve immediately contacting 911, ideally so they can come while she's still there and you can tell her in front of them (and they can file a report) that she is trespassing. I would not fixate on the actual word "stalking" and stick to phrasing that falls closer to harassment and trespassing (which is a property crime, more or less) until they use other terms, because once you're dealing with law enforcement and either the perpetrator or the victim are women you are also dealing with the patriarchy and there may be a pretty aggressive campaign of not giving a fuck and writing it off as drama and refusing to help. You may want to knit your brows and pretend to be at least as concerned about property damage as the emotional well-being of your partner in your interactions with them, to get more traction, though I would hope that any cop would be generally alarmed about bush-lurking.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:32 AM on January 9, 2022 [3 favorites]
But what most of them have in common is that at some point you have to (by some locally-legally-defined mechanism) tell the person to leave you alone. Like, you can't file stalking charges on a door-to-door salesperson or someone who's lost knocking on your door, and even something more repetitive like a neighbor coming over constantly to complain about noise is gray-area stuff, until you declare some kind of boundary in a legally-defined way.
If you're actually just asking for a gut-check: Yes, the behavior in question is inappropriate and it would not be overreaction to talk to your local police or sheriff (in some places it's the SD that deals with property-encroachment issues like trespassing or harassment) and let them explain what your options are. It's probably best to call the non-emergency number and ask for an appointment (by phone or in person) to have someone advise you on first steps.
You will probably have to pursue some kind of no-contact order, and you will probably have to formally inform her not to trespass on the property where you work or live. You will likely have to interact with her in some way to complete this process.
The police/sheriff should be able to tell you what steps to take if she returns to your work or residence, which will probably involve immediately contacting 911, ideally so they can come while she's still there and you can tell her in front of them (and they can file a report) that she is trespassing. I would not fixate on the actual word "stalking" and stick to phrasing that falls closer to harassment and trespassing (which is a property crime, more or less) until they use other terms, because once you're dealing with law enforcement and either the perpetrator or the victim are women you are also dealing with the patriarchy and there may be a pretty aggressive campaign of not giving a fuck and writing it off as drama and refusing to help. You may want to knit your brows and pretend to be at least as concerned about property damage as the emotional well-being of your partner in your interactions with them, to get more traction, though I would hope that any cop would be generally alarmed about bush-lurking.
posted by Lyn Never at 10:32 AM on January 9, 2022 [3 favorites]
Lyn just said what I wanted to and better, so that, especially the bit about mom's actions being hugely inappropriate and creepy.
posted by Jacen at 5:42 PM on January 9, 2022
posted by Jacen at 5:42 PM on January 9, 2022
Lynn is correct, you need to ask a local cop to get the specific context in your jurisdiction….
Hello there from a **CANADIAN** cop, I will do my best to answer your question as if it happened up here. If you’re not up here then obviously YMMV.
So there are activities that involve potential criminality I would examine here:
1) Finding the address e.g. what was done to achive this.
2) Confirming your address e.g. what surveillance did she conduct beore annoucing herself.
3) Attending your address e.g. knocking on the door and saying hi.
I will first dispense with #1 on the grounds that we do not have enough information. From professional experience I will add what Kapers said is probably right. Someone said “farm” thinking that was safe on its own, someone else said “county X” thinking that information was uselss, and so on. Heck it could even be one person, 15 months is a long time to keep track of what you’ve told someone, so if you’re speaking to anyone in the family this type of leak is difficult to prevent evening assuming everyone else is fully supportative and does not intend to give any infromation away. In any case there’s no answer to this question bacause the only person who knows can’t be trusted to tell the truth about it.
#2 Would be considered besetting under the Criminal Code of Canada section laid out below, and is an offence.
#3 Could be considered repeated communciation under the Criminal Code of Canada section laid out below, and is an offence - although you’d have to offer evidence of her being asked to stop in the past or informed you were cutting off contact. (I’d like to live in a world where people take the hint, but for now courts like it to be spelled out.)
It’s important to note that in Canada Criminal Harassment’s wording related to threats or the victim feeling threatened is differnet than in the charge for uttering threats. In uttering threats the wording is very specific and the INTENT has to be to cause fear. e.g. It’s very difficult to charge someone who says something like “I’d be careful if I were you” because the threat isn’t explicit. In the case of Criminal harrrassment the elements of the offence are stated before the key wording “that causes [the victim to feel fear]”. So a person who is reckless as to whether they have caused fear, or more likelly in your case, a person who has told themselves they are acting rationally when they are not, could still be convicted.
Of course in the case of parent child relationship with no overt violence the most likely outcome for a first offence would be a peace bond (that’s Canadian English for restraining order) and no jail time or criminal record unless that is violated.
I hope this has been helpful.
Source materials: CRIMINAL HARASSMENT
264
(1) No person shall, without lawful authority and knowing that another person is harassed or recklessly as to whether the other person is harassed, engage in conduct referred to in subsection
(2) that causes that other person reasonably, in all the circumstances, to fear for their safety or the safety of anyone known to them.
Prohibited conduct
(2) The conduct mentioned in subsection (1) consists of
(a) repeatedly following from place to place the other person or anyone known to them;
(b) repeatedly communicating with, either directly or indirectly, the other person or anyone known to them;
(c) besetting or watching the dwelling-house, or place where the other person, or anyone known to them, resides, works, carries on business or happens to be; or
(d) engaging in threatening conduct directed at the other person or any member of their family.
…
Meaning of "besetting": "Besetting" means "conduct by someone that causes another person to feel hemmed in or a person to feel surrounded, for a person to feel attacked on all sides." (Smysniuk, 2007 SKQB 453.) Driving by the complainant's home repeatedly qualified as "besetting" in view of the parties' complicated relationship. The meaning of "beset" includes "to trouble", "harass", "assail", "hem in or surround" (Fujimori, 2005 BCPC 110, citing Vrabie, [1995] MJ No 247 (Prov Ct) (QL), which applied an ordinary dictionary meaning to "besetting" and held that besetting includes "to harass"—in other words, the conduct must be so blatant or vexatious as to constitute besetting). In Vrabie, the Court took judicial notice of the fact that the incidents took place in an extremely public location in a small town. For example, one of the incidents was alleged to have taken place at a bakery that was across the street from the only post office in Flin Flon.
posted by BlueSock at 9:26 AM on January 10, 2022 [5 favorites]
Hello there from a **CANADIAN** cop, I will do my best to answer your question as if it happened up here. If you’re not up here then obviously YMMV.
So there are activities that involve potential criminality I would examine here:
1) Finding the address e.g. what was done to achive this.
2) Confirming your address e.g. what surveillance did she conduct beore annoucing herself.
3) Attending your address e.g. knocking on the door and saying hi.
I will first dispense with #1 on the grounds that we do not have enough information. From professional experience I will add what Kapers said is probably right. Someone said “farm” thinking that was safe on its own, someone else said “county X” thinking that information was uselss, and so on. Heck it could even be one person, 15 months is a long time to keep track of what you’ve told someone, so if you’re speaking to anyone in the family this type of leak is difficult to prevent evening assuming everyone else is fully supportative and does not intend to give any infromation away. In any case there’s no answer to this question bacause the only person who knows can’t be trusted to tell the truth about it.
#2 Would be considered besetting under the Criminal Code of Canada section laid out below, and is an offence.
#3 Could be considered repeated communciation under the Criminal Code of Canada section laid out below, and is an offence - although you’d have to offer evidence of her being asked to stop in the past or informed you were cutting off contact. (I’d like to live in a world where people take the hint, but for now courts like it to be spelled out.)
It’s important to note that in Canada Criminal Harassment’s wording related to threats or the victim feeling threatened is differnet than in the charge for uttering threats. In uttering threats the wording is very specific and the INTENT has to be to cause fear. e.g. It’s very difficult to charge someone who says something like “I’d be careful if I were you” because the threat isn’t explicit. In the case of Criminal harrrassment the elements of the offence are stated before the key wording “that causes [the victim to feel fear]”. So a person who is reckless as to whether they have caused fear, or more likelly in your case, a person who has told themselves they are acting rationally when they are not, could still be convicted.
Of course in the case of parent child relationship with no overt violence the most likely outcome for a first offence would be a peace bond (that’s Canadian English for restraining order) and no jail time or criminal record unless that is violated.
I hope this has been helpful.
Source materials: CRIMINAL HARASSMENT
264
(1) No person shall, without lawful authority and knowing that another person is harassed or recklessly as to whether the other person is harassed, engage in conduct referred to in subsection
(2) that causes that other person reasonably, in all the circumstances, to fear for their safety or the safety of anyone known to them.
Prohibited conduct
(2) The conduct mentioned in subsection (1) consists of
(a) repeatedly following from place to place the other person or anyone known to them;
(b) repeatedly communicating with, either directly or indirectly, the other person or anyone known to them;
(c) besetting or watching the dwelling-house, or place where the other person, or anyone known to them, resides, works, carries on business or happens to be; or
(d) engaging in threatening conduct directed at the other person or any member of their family.
…
Meaning of "besetting": "Besetting" means "conduct by someone that causes another person to feel hemmed in or a person to feel surrounded, for a person to feel attacked on all sides." (Smysniuk, 2007 SKQB 453.) Driving by the complainant's home repeatedly qualified as "besetting" in view of the parties' complicated relationship. The meaning of "beset" includes "to trouble", "harass", "assail", "hem in or surround" (Fujimori, 2005 BCPC 110, citing Vrabie, [1995] MJ No 247 (Prov Ct) (QL), which applied an ordinary dictionary meaning to "besetting" and held that besetting includes "to harass"—in other words, the conduct must be so blatant or vexatious as to constitute besetting). In Vrabie, the Court took judicial notice of the fact that the incidents took place in an extremely public location in a small town. For example, one of the incidents was alleged to have taken place at a bakery that was across the street from the only post office in Flin Flon.
posted by BlueSock at 9:26 AM on January 10, 2022 [5 favorites]
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posted by ftm at 8:37 PM on January 8, 2022 [1 favorite]