Dealing with anxiety after my job contract ended
October 30, 2021 7:48 AM Subscribe
I am currently having severe anxiety after finding out that my job contract has ended.
The recruiter did not inform me that it was going to happen so soon and it completely blindsided me. This is the third time in a year that I have been let go of a job. I have about 40k in my savings but I hate to have to dip into that. The recruiter did tell me that there might be something available soon for me. My manager of the job also said that someone might be leaving so I might be able to be a permanent employee. But nothing is certain and I'm getting sick of all of this uncertainty. I've been in bed for a while, have had trouble sleeping, and I can feel my heart racing. I'm having other personal issues as well so this on top of that feels overwhelming. I tend to slip into a depressed zone once something like this happens to me and I fear I might be getting there. I don't have a lot of confidence in myself and have a history of anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
The recruiter did not inform me that it was going to happen so soon and it completely blindsided me. This is the third time in a year that I have been let go of a job. I have about 40k in my savings but I hate to have to dip into that. The recruiter did tell me that there might be something available soon for me. My manager of the job also said that someone might be leaving so I might be able to be a permanent employee. But nothing is certain and I'm getting sick of all of this uncertainty. I've been in bed for a while, have had trouble sleeping, and I can feel my heart racing. I'm having other personal issues as well so this on top of that feels overwhelming. I tend to slip into a depressed zone once something like this happens to me and I fear I might be getting there. I don't have a lot of confidence in myself and have a history of anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
I’m also on a contract at my job where they only legally have to give me two weeks’ notice as to whether or not it’s being renewed, so I relate to this on an intrinsic level.
Are you in Canada? If so, you will likely be eligible for EI. Their site currently says they will give you up to 55% of your weekly earnings for a salary maximum of $56,300. In the past for me, this has been just enough to live on without dipping into my savings, but I don’t have kids, a car, or many bills other than our mortgage. I don’t know how unemployment support policies work in the US, sorry.
I have a history of tying my self worth to my job and professional accomplishments and have spent years in therapy trying to unlearn that behaviour. I’ve also been on EI twice in the past two years - once because I got fired, and most recently for medical treatment. Because I was so plugged into this job-as-self framing, these periods of unemployment have left me feeling really unmoored and bad about myself in some of the same ways you’re describing.
It’s really hard to unlearn these societal assumptions about where our sense of worth and value should come from and they have definitely exacerbated my depression and, at times, low self regard. But therapy has helped and I am slowly making progress. In that vein, I just want to say, while offering a full disclaimer that obviously we all need money to live because capitalism’s a bitch, that…
You are not your job. You are not your income. You are not the amount of letters behind your name on an email signature. You are not what your manager or some recruiter thinks of you. You have intrinsic meaning, worth, and value as a human. And here’s a hug, if you want one.
posted by oywiththepoodles at 9:03 AM on October 30, 2021 [7 favorites]
Are you in Canada? If so, you will likely be eligible for EI. Their site currently says they will give you up to 55% of your weekly earnings for a salary maximum of $56,300. In the past for me, this has been just enough to live on without dipping into my savings, but I don’t have kids, a car, or many bills other than our mortgage. I don’t know how unemployment support policies work in the US, sorry.
I have a history of tying my self worth to my job and professional accomplishments and have spent years in therapy trying to unlearn that behaviour. I’ve also been on EI twice in the past two years - once because I got fired, and most recently for medical treatment. Because I was so plugged into this job-as-self framing, these periods of unemployment have left me feeling really unmoored and bad about myself in some of the same ways you’re describing.
It’s really hard to unlearn these societal assumptions about where our sense of worth and value should come from and they have definitely exacerbated my depression and, at times, low self regard. But therapy has helped and I am slowly making progress. In that vein, I just want to say, while offering a full disclaimer that obviously we all need money to live because capitalism’s a bitch, that…
You are not your job. You are not your income. You are not the amount of letters behind your name on an email signature. You are not what your manager or some recruiter thinks of you. You have intrinsic meaning, worth, and value as a human. And here’s a hug, if you want one.
posted by oywiththepoodles at 9:03 AM on October 30, 2021 [7 favorites]
Your previous Asks mention a SSN so you're not in Canada (we have SINs), but oywiththepoodles speaks a lot of truth about decoupling your self-worth with your job. I really used to be the same way.
Not to evangelize, but after years of refusing to ask for help and self-managing anxiety and depression (and yes, suicidal ideation), I finally very reluctantly reached out after my self-management stopped being effective and was put on a starting dose of mirtzapine. It's generic and $11 CAN for two weeks' prescription.
For me, it has massively helped my insomnia and if nothing else, being able to get high quality sleep has helped my anxiety if not my depression. The side effects profile has been very tolerable for me, mostly extremely vivid and bizarre dreams (probably arising from deeper and more persistent REM sleep). They're often disturbing or sad, but it doesn't bother me. I was concerned about it increasing my risks of increased ideation or going through with suicide, but it's been fine and the clinical data suggests that's mostly in adolescents.
Although the (supposed) 'great resignation' is affecting mostly hospitality and service sectors, job vacancies in general are improving. You don't mention what sector you're in or your location, but it sounds like your manager is sympathetic and could be another source for a glowing recommendation.
I know that applying to jobs while depressed is difficult, it can also affect how you present yourself on paper/ applications. Is there anyone who can help you recontextualize your employment history and help you write a realistic (ie., not depressed) resume/ cv and cover letters?
posted by porpoise at 11:03 AM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
Not to evangelize, but after years of refusing to ask for help and self-managing anxiety and depression (and yes, suicidal ideation), I finally very reluctantly reached out after my self-management stopped being effective and was put on a starting dose of mirtzapine. It's generic and $11 CAN for two weeks' prescription.
For me, it has massively helped my insomnia and if nothing else, being able to get high quality sleep has helped my anxiety if not my depression. The side effects profile has been very tolerable for me, mostly extremely vivid and bizarre dreams (probably arising from deeper and more persistent REM sleep). They're often disturbing or sad, but it doesn't bother me. I was concerned about it increasing my risks of increased ideation or going through with suicide, but it's been fine and the clinical data suggests that's mostly in adolescents.
Although the (supposed) 'great resignation' is affecting mostly hospitality and service sectors, job vacancies in general are improving. You don't mention what sector you're in or your location, but it sounds like your manager is sympathetic and could be another source for a glowing recommendation.
I know that applying to jobs while depressed is difficult, it can also affect how you present yourself on paper/ applications. Is there anyone who can help you recontextualize your employment history and help you write a realistic (ie., not depressed) resume/ cv and cover letters?
posted by porpoise at 11:03 AM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
When I used temp work as my full time employment, I was signed up with several agencies. Basically, they competed for me. I had my choice of assignments, and also sometimes got paid more than what the stated rate was, because they do have wiggle room in that rate.
And even if you’re in a very specific field, you can sign up for general temp work to get some income coming in.
posted by MexicanYenta at 12:21 PM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
And even if you’re in a very specific field, you can sign up for general temp work to get some income coming in.
posted by MexicanYenta at 12:21 PM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
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posted by mundo at 8:49 AM on October 30, 2021 [1 favorite]