Job search after a burned bridge?
October 22, 2021 9:58 AM Subscribe
I recently quit a software engineering 'lead' job and left in acrimony. I was performing quite well, but due to the structure of the engagement (I was a sub-sub contractor), there were completely misaligned incentives and direction, and I was struggling to get the 'powers that be' to communicate with me about a recent forced increase in job scope and associated compensation concerns. I'd like to know how to approach this now that I am looking for a 'next thing'.
Some context:
I have ~20y experience in my industry, and have a resume that demonstrates my seniority and skill. I took 2-3 years off, ending in 2018/19, to be the primary caregiver to my wife who later passed from cancer. I also took 2020 off to work on a personal project. Since I've re-entered the workforce (both times as a remote contractor to UK software companies), I've struggled to find a 'fit'.
I started my most recent job as a contract developer, but the working circumstance changed, and expectations were that I would now be working 10+h/d, most of it in client facing 'leadership', 'alignment' and 'planning' meetings. I was very successful in this role but wanted some clarity on the duties, vision, and compensation. For over two months I chased my 'leadership' for a discussion on the new role, and was ignored or given contradictory information every time i contacted them. At one point I paid out-of-pocket to fly to London to meet with them on a promise of discussing 'profit sharing', and I was rebuffed again in person.
Eventually, after finding that some other employees were also being given a run around and treated poorly, I, in a moment of anger, submitted my resignation overnight, without discussion. I also expressed my frustration to a friend who worked at the client that I was 'on site' with.
This all kind of blew up by the next morning, and I received a lot of angry words from the agency that I was contracting to. Things did *not* get resolved in an amicable way, though I did finish out my notice period professionally, completing the work assigned to me in anticipation of another senior contractor's return.
I have already submitted an application to a new position that may be a very good fit (full time, direct contract, good working conditions), and the resume I sent includes this last contract, as I think it's important to show that I have been exercising my skills lately. I don't, however, feel comfortable connecting them with this agency for a reference, and I'm not sure how to communicate that.
Have you ever gone through something like this? How did you handle it? I believe I can use colleagues & even some of the employees of the eventual client as references, but I'm not sure how to position this if they ask me 'hard questions' about my last employer.
I don't think it's appropriate at all for me to ask the last employer their stance on this, and would really like to just put the whole thing behind me. Hope me, Metafilter!
Some context:
I have ~20y experience in my industry, and have a resume that demonstrates my seniority and skill. I took 2-3 years off, ending in 2018/19, to be the primary caregiver to my wife who later passed from cancer. I also took 2020 off to work on a personal project. Since I've re-entered the workforce (both times as a remote contractor to UK software companies), I've struggled to find a 'fit'.
I started my most recent job as a contract developer, but the working circumstance changed, and expectations were that I would now be working 10+h/d, most of it in client facing 'leadership', 'alignment' and 'planning' meetings. I was very successful in this role but wanted some clarity on the duties, vision, and compensation. For over two months I chased my 'leadership' for a discussion on the new role, and was ignored or given contradictory information every time i contacted them. At one point I paid out-of-pocket to fly to London to meet with them on a promise of discussing 'profit sharing', and I was rebuffed again in person.
Eventually, after finding that some other employees were also being given a run around and treated poorly, I, in a moment of anger, submitted my resignation overnight, without discussion. I also expressed my frustration to a friend who worked at the client that I was 'on site' with.
This all kind of blew up by the next morning, and I received a lot of angry words from the agency that I was contracting to. Things did *not* get resolved in an amicable way, though I did finish out my notice period professionally, completing the work assigned to me in anticipation of another senior contractor's return.
I have already submitted an application to a new position that may be a very good fit (full time, direct contract, good working conditions), and the resume I sent includes this last contract, as I think it's important to show that I have been exercising my skills lately. I don't, however, feel comfortable connecting them with this agency for a reference, and I'm not sure how to communicate that.
Have you ever gone through something like this? How did you handle it? I believe I can use colleagues & even some of the employees of the eventual client as references, but I'm not sure how to position this if they ask me 'hard questions' about my last employer.
I don't think it's appropriate at all for me to ask the last employer their stance on this, and would really like to just put the whole thing behind me. Hope me, Metafilter!
Just say you’re still working there, and don’t want them to know you’re looking.
posted by MexicanYenta at 11:59 AM on October 22, 2021
posted by MexicanYenta at 11:59 AM on October 22, 2021
I strongly disagree with MexicanYenta. Don't lie. If you lie, and are caught, that could turn a momentary setback into a much larger issue. Leaving bad jobs isn't a big deal: people do it all the time. Being dishonest is a huge deal.
You've got a long career behind you, so one option is to just not give this last contract as a reference; use people and employers from earlier in your career. It's very very common not to give references from every employer, especially for someone without as long a career as you.
Alternatively, or if you're directly asked about this last gig, the thing to do is to be honest but professional. Say something like, "things ended poorly there: the role changed, and they required me to work 10+ hour days without additional compensation. That wasn't something I could do, so I left. Since I don't know if they'd give an accurate assessment of my work there, I haven't used them as a reference."
Any reasonable employer will understand that you left a crappy situation, and won't hold it against you. Anyone who doesn't understand is likely to want to make you work ridiculous hours themselves, and you'll dodge a bullet by disclosing.
posted by dorothy hawk at 1:54 PM on October 22, 2021 [3 favorites]
You've got a long career behind you, so one option is to just not give this last contract as a reference; use people and employers from earlier in your career. It's very very common not to give references from every employer, especially for someone without as long a career as you.
Alternatively, or if you're directly asked about this last gig, the thing to do is to be honest but professional. Say something like, "things ended poorly there: the role changed, and they required me to work 10+ hour days without additional compensation. That wasn't something I could do, so I left. Since I don't know if they'd give an accurate assessment of my work there, I haven't used them as a reference."
Any reasonable employer will understand that you left a crappy situation, and won't hold it against you. Anyone who doesn't understand is likely to want to make you work ridiculous hours themselves, and you'll dodge a bullet by disclosing.
posted by dorothy hawk at 1:54 PM on October 22, 2021 [3 favorites]
I agree with dorothy hawk -- you have to be honest and tackle this head-on if asked. You don't even have that much to apologize for since you worked out your notice period without incident.
To that end, you should include the job on your resume and discuss all the great work you did. If they ask why you leave, tell them the truth, which is that they weren't giving you the tools and the information you needed to do your job properly. If they ask you for a reference, connect them to a colleague. If they ask for the contact information of your supervisor, explain that you don't believe your supervisor will give you a fair reference, going into as much detail as you need to, and offer to refer them to another colleague. Things may be different in the UK, but here in the US, as a software engineer, I have never asked for nor have I been required to provide an immediate past supervisor as a reference.
Ultimately you have to prepare for a potential employer to learn about the way that you left the job. If you suspect this is going to come up (e.g., if they ask you for a supervisor as a reference, or start a line of questioning in the interview that will lead there), be open about it. "I submitted my resignation overnight because I no longer believed that I could rely on my employer to treat me fairly, but I worked through my notice period and handed everything off in good order. In retrospect, if I could do it again, I would have worked harder to make it clear to management how urgent my concerns were before resigning, but I don't believe that this would have in fact changed anything in this case. Nevertheless, I remain proud of what I did in this position and believe that the work I contributed to this organization went above and beyond what they could reasonably have expected from me at the start of the contract."
posted by goingonit at 2:15 PM on October 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
To that end, you should include the job on your resume and discuss all the great work you did. If they ask why you leave, tell them the truth, which is that they weren't giving you the tools and the information you needed to do your job properly. If they ask you for a reference, connect them to a colleague. If they ask for the contact information of your supervisor, explain that you don't believe your supervisor will give you a fair reference, going into as much detail as you need to, and offer to refer them to another colleague. Things may be different in the UK, but here in the US, as a software engineer, I have never asked for nor have I been required to provide an immediate past supervisor as a reference.
Ultimately you have to prepare for a potential employer to learn about the way that you left the job. If you suspect this is going to come up (e.g., if they ask you for a supervisor as a reference, or start a line of questioning in the interview that will lead there), be open about it. "I submitted my resignation overnight because I no longer believed that I could rely on my employer to treat me fairly, but I worked through my notice period and handed everything off in good order. In retrospect, if I could do it again, I would have worked harder to make it clear to management how urgent my concerns were before resigning, but I don't believe that this would have in fact changed anything in this case. Nevertheless, I remain proud of what I did in this position and believe that the work I contributed to this organization went above and beyond what they could reasonably have expected from me at the start of the contract."
posted by goingonit at 2:15 PM on October 22, 2021 [1 favorite]
One thing that hasn’t been noted yet is that it is very much a candidate’s market right now when it comes to software engineering roles. Experienced SWEs are in high demand and if you tackle this honestly and diplomatically, you are going to be fine. goingonit’s scripts are excellent. Courage!
posted by sevensnowflakes at 6:38 PM on October 23, 2021
posted by sevensnowflakes at 6:38 PM on October 23, 2021
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If you're not in any legal jeopardy then a default vague answer like "the responsibilities were increased outside the scope of my contract and the compensation was not competitive once the additional work was factored in" should do. Make it more about the money than the workload. And people do lots of secret job searches where they don't want their current employers tipped off that they're looking, so saying "no, you may not contact this company for a reference" isn't usually a red flag. If you get defensive and shouty about how bad your experience was, however, that's certainly a red flag.
posted by fedward at 10:51 AM on October 22, 2021 [2 favorites]