Did I accept this new job offer too quickly?
October 1, 2021 2:29 PM Subscribe
I just accepted a job offer at a company I am very excited to be moving to after interviewing with them for 3 months. The offer came yesterday morning, and was extremely comprehensive in terms of salary, benefits, stock option, etc. Initially I told the recruiter I would need the weekend to decide, but after speaking with her again today I decided I wanted to say yes to get the ball rolling. My parents feel this was a bad move and that I should have waited. Do you agree?
Totally fine to get things moving, congrats on the new job!
posted by ethand at 2:34 PM on October 1, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by ethand at 2:34 PM on October 1, 2021 [4 favorites]
If you are a lawyer, or are comfortable and competent reading contracts, and you did in fact read all of the offer documentation carefully, and it met your approval, then there is no particular reason to wait. If any of the predicate conditions are wrong, then it would behoove you in the future to take more time to understand (or to inquire of someone who does understand) the offer, including any subtleties that may not be in your favor, or that may not operate as you wish or expect.
The recruiter is almost certainly not your friend, or even all that interested in your happiness and satisfaction -- she gets paid when you say "yes," not when you say "I have a question about this term."
Anyway, congratulations; I hope it turns out as you wished or expected.
posted by spacewrench at 2:36 PM on October 1, 2021
The recruiter is almost certainly not your friend, or even all that interested in your happiness and satisfaction -- she gets paid when you say "yes," not when you say "I have a question about this term."
Anyway, congratulations; I hope it turns out as you wished or expected.
posted by spacewrench at 2:36 PM on October 1, 2021
No, with caveats. If you're sure you want it, no use in waiting the weekend! Like, it won't look bad to the employer or anything. My only concern is it doesn't sound like you negotiated. If you did, ignore the rest of this. If you didn't, read on. Even if the offer was extremely comprehensive, you can pretty much always ask for more. More money or vacation or whatever. The worst that will ever happen in 99.9999999% of cases is they say no. The best that will happen is you get an even BETTER offer! That being said, if you're happy with the offer, you're happy with the offer. But next time, ask for a little more! They expect you to.
(But don't listen to people who say not asking for more will make you look bad - most likely they will think, "cool, we're getting a deal", or "sucks for Hermione, they could have gotten 5% more". But this will look "bad on you" to vanishingly few people)
Congrats!!
posted by sillysally at 2:37 PM on October 1, 2021 [8 favorites]
(But don't listen to people who say not asking for more will make you look bad - most likely they will think, "cool, we're getting a deal", or "sucks for Hermione, they could have gotten 5% more". But this will look "bad on you" to vanishingly few people)
Congrats!!
posted by sillysally at 2:37 PM on October 1, 2021 [8 favorites]
...to elaborate:
Waiting makes sense if there's something you actually need to think through - maybe the details don't quite match what you'd hoped for or discussed with the company, maybe the job requires more travel then expected, etc. Or you're also waiting on an offer from a company you'd prefer to work for, or you already have that offer and want to negotiate, etc.
But if this is the job you want and you're happy with the offer there's no benefit to anyone in your waiting.
posted by ethand at 2:39 PM on October 1, 2021 [7 favorites]
Waiting makes sense if there's something you actually need to think through - maybe the details don't quite match what you'd hoped for or discussed with the company, maybe the job requires more travel then expected, etc. Or you're also waiting on an offer from a company you'd prefer to work for, or you already have that offer and want to negotiate, etc.
But if this is the job you want and you're happy with the offer there's no benefit to anyone in your waiting.
posted by ethand at 2:39 PM on October 1, 2021 [7 favorites]
that I should have waited
What would you be waiting for? An offer from another company?
Anyway, congrats!
posted by trig at 2:54 PM on October 1, 2021
What would you be waiting for? An offer from another company?
Anyway, congrats!
posted by trig at 2:54 PM on October 1, 2021
When was the last time your parents either interviewed for a new job or conducted hiring? Any time within the past several years? Because a LOT of parents also think the best way to get a job is to circle listings in the print newspaper, then walk around town with a stack of resumes and impress hiring managers with your Gumption and Verve
posted by showbiz_liz at 2:57 PM on October 1, 2021 [45 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 2:57 PM on October 1, 2021 [45 favorites]
I think this depends very heavily on the industry you're in.
In my industry, there has been a major push to give people offers they're unlikely to refuse. There's also been major growth in transparency, and an initiative to improve, diversify hiring practices, and to be more equitable. It's not out of the ordinary for a candidate to push for a little in the negotiation, but the strategy, in our competitive field, is to dazzle 'em so they come work for us and not a competitor. In order to do that, the negotiation terms are often much more constrained and more about comfort than materials. I.e. a negotiation might be for a specific perk, salary growth over time, etc.
In some older school industries, "never accept the first offer" and "let 'em sweat it out" are still regular tactics. They are sometimes built into the offer, the wiggle room is sort of factored in. A hint that this is true is that they might offer you a not-terribly round number. 88k instead of 90k, for example.
Did you make a mistake? No, I don't think so. I have accepted many jobs when I am happy about the offer. I have seen the scenario you describe many times. I have been privvy to quite a bit of hiring in the last 3 years, it's actually quite unusual to not get an answer on an offer for an entire week, in fact that is usually a sign that the person is going to reject the offer.
posted by pazazygeek at 3:02 PM on October 1, 2021 [2 favorites]
In my industry, there has been a major push to give people offers they're unlikely to refuse. There's also been major growth in transparency, and an initiative to improve, diversify hiring practices, and to be more equitable. It's not out of the ordinary for a candidate to push for a little in the negotiation, but the strategy, in our competitive field, is to dazzle 'em so they come work for us and not a competitor. In order to do that, the negotiation terms are often much more constrained and more about comfort than materials. I.e. a negotiation might be for a specific perk, salary growth over time, etc.
In some older school industries, "never accept the first offer" and "let 'em sweat it out" are still regular tactics. They are sometimes built into the offer, the wiggle room is sort of factored in. A hint that this is true is that they might offer you a not-terribly round number. 88k instead of 90k, for example.
Did you make a mistake? No, I don't think so. I have accepted many jobs when I am happy about the offer. I have seen the scenario you describe many times. I have been privvy to quite a bit of hiring in the last 3 years, it's actually quite unusual to not get an answer on an offer for an entire week, in fact that is usually a sign that the person is going to reject the offer.
posted by pazazygeek at 3:02 PM on October 1, 2021 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: This is the mobile tech industry. The only thing I negotiated for was a different start date. The salary is a $50k jump, which is insane, and something I am profoundly grateful for. It's also at the top of the salary grade for a person in the role, so I left it as is. If they had low-balled me I would have absolutely negotiated. And yes, my parents haven't applied for jobs in decades. They've just been by my side as I've done all of mine.
posted by Hermione Granger at 3:05 PM on October 1, 2021 [13 favorites]
posted by Hermione Granger at 3:05 PM on October 1, 2021 [13 favorites]
It was a good instinct to give a heads up that you might want some extra time to think things over, because the offer might have been more of a mixed bag, there might have been things you wanted to negotiate around, etc. But you didn't end up needing the extra time because you had your questions answered, the pay is good, and you're excited to move forward with accepting the offer. So it makes sense you didn't end up taking the extra time. I can't imagine a downside. Like, what are the odds you take the weekend and it results in something better than accepting a great new job you're excited about?
Is it possible your parents are just... fretting? Like, is there always going to be some little thread they want to pull at because anxiety tells them they can't just stop and call something good?
posted by theotherdurassister at 3:14 PM on October 1, 2021 [5 favorites]
Is it possible your parents are just... fretting? Like, is there always going to be some little thread they want to pull at because anxiety tells them they can't just stop and call something good?
posted by theotherdurassister at 3:14 PM on October 1, 2021 [5 favorites]
Unless your job is to negotiate adversarial offers, almost no employer will fault you for accepting an offer quickly.
posted by flimflam at 3:19 PM on October 1, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by flimflam at 3:19 PM on October 1, 2021 [1 favorite]
The only reason to not say yes right away is if you don't understand something, need more information, or want to negotiate. Otherwise, there's no advantage to making the employer wait like this is a game.
posted by quince at 3:27 PM on October 1, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by quince at 3:27 PM on October 1, 2021 [2 favorites]
You did good to not accept it on the first call & look everything over, and you did good again by locking it up so you can enjoy a celebratory weekend. Great job & congrats!
posted by bleep at 3:48 PM on October 1, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by bleep at 3:48 PM on October 1, 2021 [1 favorite]
There's no upside to waiting if you've decided. It's not like they were going to increase the offer because you were sitting on it for two more days. If you're actively negotiation it's a different answer, but just "making them sweat" is pointless.
I assume the generic fear is that you'll look "too desperate" or something. The only person really paying attention, or who might possibly remember, is your new boss. If the HR recruiter decides you're desperate before they make an offer they might lowball you. But once the offer is out? Generally speaking, giving a new boss the impression that you are enthusiastic is good.
I suppose some bosses might view this as a sign of weakness, but then you've got way bigger problems because that boss is going to be horrible in all sorts of other ways too.
posted by mark k at 4:00 PM on October 1, 2021 [1 favorite]
I assume the generic fear is that you'll look "too desperate" or something. The only person really paying attention, or who might possibly remember, is your new boss. If the HR recruiter decides you're desperate before they make an offer they might lowball you. But once the offer is out? Generally speaking, giving a new boss the impression that you are enthusiastic is good.
I suppose some bosses might view this as a sign of weakness, but then you've got way bigger problems because that boss is going to be horrible in all sorts of other ways too.
posted by mark k at 4:00 PM on October 1, 2021 [1 favorite]
It's been three months. Do they think the company is unaware that you're all in here? The offer is on the table, no negotiation is required, what is it that they think another 72 hours would have got you?
Congratulations, you done good!
posted by DarlingBri at 4:13 PM on October 1, 2021
Congratulations, you done good!
posted by DarlingBri at 4:13 PM on October 1, 2021
Did you negotiate the salary? 60% of women don't negotiate their salary and end up losing out on hundreds of thousands of dollars in lifetime earnings.
In almost all cases you should should not take the first offer. If they really can't go up in salary, you could ask for more time off, sooner timeline for your first raise, or other benefits (how much do you want to work remotely?).
posted by brookeb at 4:45 PM on October 1, 2021 [4 favorites]
In almost all cases you should should not take the first offer. If they really can't go up in salary, you could ask for more time off, sooner timeline for your first raise, or other benefits (how much do you want to work remotely?).
posted by brookeb at 4:45 PM on October 1, 2021 [4 favorites]
It's also at the top of the salary grade for a person in the role, so I left it as is
Don't assume people can't pay you more. Even if the above is true. Even if you're getting a huge bump from your current role. You should always negotiate. I am 99% positive a man would.
posted by brookeb at 4:55 PM on October 1, 2021 [2 favorites]
Don't assume people can't pay you more. Even if the above is true. Even if you're getting a huge bump from your current role. You should always negotiate. I am 99% positive a man would.
posted by brookeb at 4:55 PM on October 1, 2021 [2 favorites]
Do your parents currently work in technology? If they don’t, don’t listen to them. If they do, listen to what they have to say and file it away for next time. It’s possible that you could have gotten more by negotiating (not by…waiting—?) but even so, it’s ok if you didn’t wring every last penny out of this opportunity.
Most importantly, congratulations!!
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 5:56 PM on October 1, 2021 [1 favorite]
Most importantly, congratulations!!
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 5:56 PM on October 1, 2021 [1 favorite]
Buy your parents a thousand dollar "I told you so" gift. Maybe with gilt and a singing telegram, about how this is exorbitant display cost 2% of your salary increase. Laugh your way to the bank with the rest of your huge raise.
Be prepared to say "you were right" and do a sad dance if you quit or the company goes bust in a year or something.
posted by SaltySalticid at 7:11 PM on October 1, 2021
Be prepared to say "you were right" and do a sad dance if you quit or the company goes bust in a year or something.
posted by SaltySalticid at 7:11 PM on October 1, 2021
Could you have negotiated more? Maybe. But you’ve got a $50k jump in salary for a job you’re really excited about. You did extremely well through this whole process IMO. Congratulations!
posted by like_neon at 1:58 AM on October 2, 2021 [10 favorites]
posted by like_neon at 1:58 AM on October 2, 2021 [10 favorites]
Yeah, negotiate your salary next time. There will be a next time and you can practice then. In the meantime, Congratulations!
posted by Bella Donna at 6:06 AM on October 2, 2021
posted by Bella Donna at 6:06 AM on October 2, 2021
Response by poster: Thank you all so much. I will negotiate my salary next time. Getting that big of a raise (which I earned and deserve!!!!) was just a surprise, and asking for more felt... Greedy? But that's a thing that most women are taught and I will muscle through it next time. :) But hopefully I can be at THIS job for a while!
Gonna go happy dance and encourage my parents to do the same.
posted by Hermione Granger at 6:39 AM on October 2, 2021 [6 favorites]
Gonna go happy dance and encourage my parents to do the same.
posted by Hermione Granger at 6:39 AM on October 2, 2021 [6 favorites]
Just congratulations -- and good luck. I hope they're worth that 3-month effort and your excitement!
posted by k3ninho at 7:48 AM on October 2, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by k3ninho at 7:48 AM on October 2, 2021 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Enid Lareg at 2:32 PM on October 1, 2021 [8 favorites]