a curious usage
September 22, 2021 4:20 PM   Subscribe

Does this happen to other people?

Imagine it is Monday or Tuesday, and I'm calling someone on the phone. We agree to meet "next Friday". Friday comes, and they don't show. It turns out they meant the Friday of the following week, not the Friday of this week. This has happened several times. We have recently moved, so it may be a geographical thing. Has anyone else had this experience?
posted by alonsoquijano to Society & Culture (66 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
This is just the first thing I found, but it's definitely a subject of discussion.
posted by sagc at 4:21 PM on September 22, 2021 [1 favorite]


USA west coast here, next Friday means next week, this Friday means this week.
posted by outfielder at 4:22 PM on September 22, 2021 [103 favorites]


I was taught that the closest Friday to the day you’re on is “this Friday” and the one after that is “next Friday,” but lots of people disagree with that. I have to clarify when making plans so there’s no confusion.
posted by corey flood at 4:23 PM on September 22, 2021 [19 favorites]


Midwest here. “Next Friday” is the Friday after the upcoming one, which is “This Friday.”
posted by Thorzdad at 4:25 PM on September 22, 2021 [17 favorites]


Depends on where you are in the week. By Monday or Tuesday, 'this' Friday is the one in this week. Don't think it's geographical, but definitely the chronological this/next concept takes awhile for non-native English speakers to master. Better to nail it down with exact dates, if there's any possibility of ambiguity (because on Monday, this Sunday could mean yesterday).
posted by Rash at 4:26 PM on September 22, 2021 [3 favorites]


It’s definitely a debatable cultural linguistic difference across geographies. Another factor that plays into it is proximity to Friday. So, if you have this conversation on a Wednesday it’s less likely that next Friday refers to the one 48 hours away.
posted by iamkimiam at 4:28 PM on September 22, 2021 [6 favorites]


Someone explained this to me once as the difference between THIS Friday (the one associated with this week) and NEXT Friday (the next one after this one). I am a native English speaker, I have lived in the American Midwest for the vast majority of my life and I had never heard or made this distinction.
I don’t believe that this is a real distinction that is understood by most people, though. I think “this Friday” and “next Friday” are ambiguous terms that require clarification each time they are used. I think English is a clunky, string-and-duct-tape language, and this is not its only weirdness by a long shot.
posted by Vatnesine at 4:29 PM on September 22, 2021 [13 favorites]


One of my dearest friends is from the Southeast and I am from New England and we have long since established that the correct way to meet is to use actual dates for this reason.
posted by cobaltnine at 4:30 PM on September 22, 2021 [9 favorites]


New England data point: "this Friday" is the Friday of this week, "next Friday" is the Friday of next week, but I pretty much always clarify as much as possible to avoid ambiguity ("this coming Friday", "the Friday of next week", or actual dates).
posted by dfan at 4:31 PM on September 22, 2021 [17 favorites]


New England data point: "this Friday" is the Friday of this week, "next Friday" is the Friday of next week, but I pretty much always clarify as much as possible to avoid ambiguity

This is 100% me also. From New England, dfan's understanding is identical to mine, but I also understand this is not necessarily normative so I always clarify.
posted by jessamyn at 4:37 PM on September 22, 2021 [2 favorites]


I'm in my late thirties and recently, for the first time, had an issue like this happen because the other person was using "next X" to mean "day X of next week" which is not a usage I'd ever encountered before to memory. I've lived in Maryland, California, and Pennsylvania, and recently moved to New England, where this person is from.
posted by needs more cowbell at 4:39 PM on September 22, 2021 [1 favorite]


In the UK they will say “Friday next” which does somehow seem to more clearly communicate that it’s not this Friday but the one after.
posted by HotToddy at 4:42 PM on September 22, 2021 [1 favorite]


In my former life as a dog walker, it used to drive me up the wall when clients wanted to schedule “next Friday.” I would put on my marm-voice and say, “Do you mean *this* Friday coming up, or the Friday of *next* week?” Usually, they meant the Friday of this week.
It never hurts to assume the marm-voice!
posted by BostonTerrier at 4:48 PM on September 22, 2021 [1 favorite]


New England here, too, and agree with dfan and jessamyn. I also sometimes say, "not this coming Friday, but next Friday" as a way to clarify.
posted by papayaninja at 4:52 PM on September 22, 2021 [4 favorites]


“This Friday” is definitely this week, and “next Friday” is the second Friday from today.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 4:55 PM on September 22, 2021 [3 favorites]


Huh. Lived mostly in Michigan, Ontario and Illinois and I've never thought "next Friday" might mean anything other than "next week, on Friday" until right now.
posted by tivalasvegas at 4:57 PM on September 22, 2021 [5 favorites]


Without an ability to clarify, I wouldn’t have shown up “this” Friday either.
posted by bluedaisy at 4:58 PM on September 22, 2021 [6 favorites]


"Next Friday" is ambiguous. To many people it means the next Friday that happens, not Friday of next week.
posted by metonym at 5:00 PM on September 22, 2021 [3 favorites]


Nthing the New England distinction between 'this Friday' and 'next Friday,' as well as the use of the phrase 'this coming Friday' to clarify.
posted by dizziest at 5:02 PM on September 22, 2021 [4 favorites]


I grew up in Kent, UK - "this Friday" means Friday this week, "next Friday" means Friday next week. "Friday next" is comprehensible but archaic; not something I'd ever say or expect to hear in real conversation.
posted by offog at 5:02 PM on September 22, 2021 [7 favorites]


West coast US, and the "this Friday"/"next Friday" distinction people have described is how I have always heard it.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:04 PM on September 22, 2021


Canadian, and I say “this Friday” to mean this coming Friday. “Next Friday” means Friday next week.
posted by keep it under cover at 5:05 PM on September 22, 2021 [2 favorites]


Don't think it's geographical, but definitely the chronological this/next concept takes awhile for non-native English speakers to master.

Nah. I'm a native speaker of American English and to me "next Friday" is that next Friday that will happen. "This Friday" is the Friday of this week, irrespective of whether that's in the future or past. Which means sometimes "this Friday" is the same thing as "next Friday," "this coming Friday," or even just "on Friday." I'm not totally dense and have learned to translate or ask.

USAF brat, so didn't grow up in any specific region. Spent my teen years in metro Tampa and Gainesville.

I can't be remotely sure, but I don't think I recall hearing people use that "this Friday / next Friday" distinction until I went to college at UVa with a whole bunch of damyankees who were eternally astonished that the way they do things in Philadelphia or Long Island is not utterly universal and normative.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:12 PM on September 22, 2021 [3 favorites]


Grew up in US (northeastern Ohio & New England), transplanted to New Zealand as an adult. My US usage would be "Friday" or "this Friday" for the one in this week, and "next Friday" for the one in next week; but on a Sunday or Monday I would probably feel the need to clarify, Friday being still pretty far away. My NZ usage would be "Friday" for the one in this week, and "Friday week" for the one in next week; if I heard "next Friday" I would not be confident what the speaker means and would seek clarification, but that might be because I'm not a native speaker of NZ English. I have heard and used the "Friday fortnight" construction but that's kinda deliberately playful.
posted by inexorably_forward at 5:23 PM on September 22, 2021 [1 favorite]


Next Friday means the one after the coming Friday. There's no need to append "next" to the imminent Friday, if you just mean "this Friday." Adding "next" to me means that there's an additional one in the mix, so they wouldn't mean this week's Friday.
posted by jzb at 5:28 PM on September 22, 2021 [5 favorites]


Swede in the D.C. area here. I was burned once when an article was due "next Monday" which to the speaker meant the next time Monday came around (i.e. in three days), not next week, Monday which is how I understood it. I think because there are so many people from all over who work in this town, you have to be extra careful about things like this. I always clarify the actual date now, just in case..
posted by gemmy at 5:30 PM on September 22, 2021




Born and raised in California and to me next Friday can mean the next Friday to occur, if it's like Saturday or Sunday. The closer Friday gets, the more likely next Friday means next week's Friday. And if it's Saturday, "this Friday" probably means yesterday.

Better all around to clarify.
posted by muddgirl at 5:49 PM on September 22, 2021


I would always interpret that as "next week Friday" and not "the next Friday that occurs." Midwest. Never even occurred to me that it could mean this Friday (that's why it's this Friday).
posted by brook horse at 6:13 PM on September 22, 2021


This is why I've quit using 'next Friday' at all (same problem exists for 'last Friday', although that's generally less critical). It is proximity based, and my husband's and my proximity sensors are clearly calibrated differently. If it's Monday and I say next Friday, I mean the Friday of next week, while he means the Friday of this week. But on Thursday, he doesn't think 'next Friday' means tomorrow, so somewhere in during the week is a transition.

'Next weekend' is even worse, because my proximity sensor transitions somewhere midweek also. On Monday, I would interpret 'next weekend' as the upcoming weekend. But by Wednesday-ish, and definitely by Thursday, next weekend would be the weekend after this (upcoming) weekend.
posted by lemonade at 6:13 PM on September 22, 2021 [1 favorite]


I'm perpetually trying to train this usage out of my speech for exactly this reason. Too much room for confusion. Use dates. Or in my house we make a big song and dance of Next Friday, By Which I Mean The Friday That Is In Three Days or whatever, because we've fucked this up too many times over the years to make assumptions.
posted by Stacey at 6:17 PM on September 22, 2021 [1 favorite]


Have lived on both US coasts, use "next Friday" to mean Friday of the next week, and "this Friday" to mean the Friday of the current week.

I don't think I've ever actually encountered someone who used "next" the alternate way, but I usually include dates to clarify. Main point of ambiguity would be if the conversation took place on a Sunday and the two parties held dissimilar expectations on whether a week starts on Sunday or Monday.
posted by eponym at 6:17 PM on September 22, 2021 [1 favorite]


I have lived all over the US and traveled around and...I always confirm using specific dates (Friday, the 5th of April) or something like "do you mean this coming Friday or the Friday at the end of next week."

No matter where I've lived, I've always eventually gotten burned by being wrong about the week that "next" referred to. I don't think that it's geographical, I suspect (completely without any evidence at all, mind you) that it has something to do with how different groups of people learned to tell time. It reminds me of the differences people seem to instinctively make between "a couple" and "a few". I always guess wrong, therefore, I always confirm.
posted by skye.dancer at 6:17 PM on September 22, 2021


One of the phrases I learned when I moved from Canada to Australia 10 years ago is "Friday week", which unambiguously means "Friday next week". I would also have assumed that "next Friday" was next week.
(Related: this is also why I prefer "fortnightly" to "biweekly". So much clearer)
posted by third word on a random page at 6:27 PM on September 22, 2021


alonsoquijano, it would never occur to me to call the Friday 4 days from now "next" Friday. Because it's not. It's this Friday.

23 years in NY State, 21 years in the south. I haven't found this to be a geographical thing. Generally, if today is Monday, then four days hence is "This Friday" and eleven days hence is "Next Friday."

I was taught that NEXT anything is always on the other side of the forthcoming weekend. So "next" is always very clear.

But this can be a little more amorphous. THIS anything is generally on the near side of the forthcoming weekend, but can be any time in the next six days. If today is Tuesday, the following Monday can be called "This Monday" or "Next Monday"

On Monday, nobody says "this Monday" because that's today. "Next Monday" is a week away.
On Tuesday & Wednesday, "this Monday" and "next Monday" are the same day, on the far side of the weekend.
On Thursday, "this Monday" is four days away; "next Monday" is 11 days away.
On Friday, "this Monday" is three days away; "next Monday" is 10 days away.
On Saturday, "this Monday" is 2 days away; "next Monday is 9 days away.
On Sunday, nobody would say "this Monday" -- it's tomorrow. "Next Monday" is 8 days away.

But yes, always use dates!
posted by The Wrong Kind of Cheese at 7:14 PM on September 22, 2021 [6 favorites]


it's true that the "next" one does mean the one after "this" one, in the way that someone will ask if you want to hurry to catch the train just pulling into the station and you say No, I don't want to run, I'll get the next one, and all agree and understand which one that is, nobody mistakes "this" train for "the next" train.

but still and all, who would ever say anything except either the very clear "this coming Friday" (for this coming Friday) or "a week from Friday" (for a week from Friday)? someone who wants to confuse you is who.
posted by queenofbithynia at 7:30 PM on September 22, 2021 [3 favorites]


Unquestionably ambiguous, depending on how far off the day in question is. I'd probably say "next Tuesday" for the Tuesday of the succeeding week if it was Wednesday, but on the same day I'd call the day two days later "this Friday."
posted by praemunire at 7:44 PM on September 22, 2021 [1 favorite]


New York, middle-aged, same as the New Englanders chiming in - “Next Friday” is the Friday of next week. However, I’ve encountered enough people in the “Next Friday is the Friday that happens the soonest after the day in which we’re speaking” camp that I usually try to clarify with a date.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:51 PM on September 22, 2021


Common enough happening there was a Seinfeld episode that included this back in the '90s.

I'm in the SF Bay Area. I usually discuss plans using the this/next terminology, then read out the date when things are finalized so there's no misunderstanding. But I can't remember a single instance where there actually was a misunderstanding; usage in my circles is 100% in favor of next Friday being the a week after this Friday.
posted by mark k at 7:52 PM on September 22, 2021 [1 favorite]


Grew up in Midwest, where "this" and "next" mean the same thing (the soonest Friday after the current day), and "the Friday after this/next" mean the one after that.
posted by dws at 8:19 PM on September 22, 2021


I’d probably clarify with “not this coming Friday but the next” and also clarify with the date, and then send a gcal invite (but I am one of Those People, and I know enough people with varying realities of time and/or language that would make that necessary)
posted by jeweled accumulation at 8:29 PM on September 22, 2021


I'm in my 60s; this has always been a weird thing.
posted by theora55 at 9:49 PM on September 22, 2021 [1 favorite]


Yep! I think it’s too easy to misinterpret “next Friday” as THE next Friday. This is why I throw in the date when making plans.
posted by sugarbomb at 10:37 PM on September 22, 2021


This is more clear for those who use their hands when speaking:
"Wait, do you mean THIS Friday (points/bounces index finger straight downward, indicating the Friday of the week we're both standing in);
or NEXT Friday (points forward, in an arc, indicating going over the hill of this week and into the valley of next week)?"

Alternatively, "OK, make a right turn at the next light. No, not This intersection we're stopped in, silly: we're in the center lane! I mean the Next one, I'm giving you advance warning to get over in the right hand lane, before we get to the Next traffic light, so you can turn right when you get there."
posted by bartleby at 11:15 PM on September 22, 2021 [3 favorites]


Why would use your hands to direct a driver who can't see what you're waving and pointing at?!? (I kid!)

Growing up in the Queen's England and speaking the Queen's English, it took 'til leaving home for university to meet people who distinguished 'this Friday' from 'next Friday'. It persists because those of able to be flexible let them be and work around the implicit notion that we know "next [week's] Friday' isn't the plain 'next [coming] Friday'.

In general, civilisation is what prevents us from being monsters, but f_ck civilisation for setting up this daft rule.
posted by k3ninho at 11:50 PM on September 22, 2021 [1 favorite]


speaking the Queen's English
Hm. Perhaps we should table* this for now.
It'll cause a billion* problems.
Discuss it over dinner*.
Let's meet - a fortnight from Tuesday next?
(I kid!)
posted by bartleby at 12:10 AM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]


To my ear "next Friday" has always been the Friday of next week.

New York native living in Alaska, with many years spent in the South. (I was even one of the damyankees at U.Va. mentioned above.) And the only time I've heard it spoken of otherwise was by college students quibbling, "well technically "NEXT" Friday is the one that's coming two days from now . . . " etc. I don't think I've ever before heard anyone say that seriously.

Till now. Yay Meta Filter, for continuing to educate me.
posted by wjm at 12:27 AM on September 23, 2021


I’d probably clarify with “not this coming Friday but the next”

My wife and I have opposite interpretations of "this" and "next" so we always say something clarifying like this. I'm also USA West Coast but if it is Sunday then "next Friday" to me means five days from today.

So we don't use the phrase 'Next Friday' - we have expunged it from our common vocabulary instead:

"Friday" or "This Friday"=the next instance of Friday. Works if today is Saturday->Thursday although in the latter case you usually say "tomorrow" Example: "They invited us out for a walk on Friday."

"Friday. A week from today" = works if today is Friday. Example: "The lecture is on Friday, a week from today."

"The Friday after this coming Friday" = at least 7 days from today. Example: "They said they want to meet on the Friday after this coming Friday"

By the way this confusion happens with lots of things. You are waiting at a train station and a train is due in 5 minutes. Your friend says "Let's catch the next train" Do they mean the train in 5 minutes or the train after that?
posted by vacapinta at 12:41 AM on September 23, 2021


I circumvent this issue by always specifying the date e.g. "So we will be meeting Friday, 1st October?"
posted by whitelotus at 2:29 AM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]


Whichever way you think about it, the important thing to realise is that other people will persist in being 'wrong' and you should always clarify with dates. So, "this Friday 24th" or "next Friday 24th" or "next Friday 1st" or "Friday 1st".
posted by plonkee at 2:37 AM on September 23, 2021


Nthing all the people that recommend adding the date.....especially if you work across different cultures/languages/organizations.
posted by koahiatamadl at 5:36 AM on September 23, 2021


In my language, I personally use "next Friday" to mean "Friday of next week" but we also have the phrase "closest Friday". Just saying.
posted by M. at 5:53 AM on September 23, 2021


In the UK they will say “Friday next” which does somehow seem to more clearly communicate that it’s not this Friday but the one after.

Eh, nope. Very occasionally, maybe, it wouldn't get you stared at for babbling, but it's not a common usage.

Agree with the majority here - next Friday is next week. This Friday is this week.
posted by penguin pie at 6:34 AM on September 23, 2021


"This Friday" to me always means "the very next Friday that will happen."
"Next Friday" means "The Friday coming next week."

Usage depends on the current day.
Today is Thursday: I would say "tomorrow" if I meant the Friday of this week. "Next Friday" is eight days away.
Today is Saturday: I would say "yesterday" if I meant the Friday of this week. "This Friday" is six days away.
Today is Sunday: "This Friday" is five days away. "Next Friday" is in the following week.
posted by emelenjr at 6:39 AM on September 23, 2021


This changed for me, when I was about twelve, on moving from Sheffield to Manchester (both UK); I'd been used to the distinction between 'this Friday' and 'next Friday', but had to adjust to both meaning the first up-coming Friday.

I'm not sure if this was a geographical dialect thing, or a class thing (I had been at a comprehensive school before, and moved to a grammar school), or if it was something else - it was a long time ago and there was a lot of other stuff going on so my memory might not be quite right.
posted by vincebowdren at 6:40 AM on September 23, 2021


People might mean the "next occurring Friday" or "next week Friday", so the phrase "next Friday" must never be used because there's no way to know what word was dropped.

It's like dropping the serial comma - people who do this are wrong. Those of us who don't should both feel smug about our correctness and evangelize the Proper Way to those who live in ignorance.

The only allowed phrases are
  • "this week Friday"
  • or
  • "next week Friday"
Resist ambiguity. Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 7:25 AM on September 23, 2021


I think these are vague terms; even though most people understand them the same way it can get very confusing anyway; i.e. you have to be fully aware of today's day/date (can be easy to lose track of for many people) to figure out which Friday is "next", and then if the date you are meeting in your head is "next Friday", you might later forget what day you decided that on hence not remember which Friday was "next" when you decided it, etc.

So it seems thr main issue is just that it's a confusing way to determine a date and not that it has different meanings (for most people)
posted by bearette at 7:57 AM on September 23, 2021


In the same vein, I did a lot of international correspondence in m last job, so I trained myself to always write out the name of the month in dates instead of using numerical format. That way, I'd be understood in both month-first countries and day-first countries.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:53 AM on September 23, 2021


oxt is never going to happen, but is intended to solve this problem.

(west coast, would agree if you said next Friday and did not specify, I would assume the Friday of the following week. I try to avoid saying "next Friday" without also somehow including the relative nature of it to this Friday (i.e., "the Friday after this Friday").)
posted by fishfucker at 10:19 AM on September 23, 2021


> Eh, nope. Very occasionally, maybe

There isn't one such thing as "UK usage": see Yorkshire use of "while" to mean "until".

I'd say "Friday coming" for Sep 24, "Friday next" or "a week on Friday/Friday week" for October 1st.
posted by scruss at 11:05 AM on September 23, 2021


Many of the answers are really starting to baffle me. As I read it, the poster is asking about whether next Friday can refer to the upcoming one or the one in the following week. “This” Friday doesn’t factor into it.
posted by iamkimiam at 11:07 AM on September 23, 2021


This is an extremely common misunderstanding. Usage varies regionally but also between individuals in the same region. Because of this confusion, I’m always extra extra explicit when discussing upcoming days. I say either:

“This coming Friday”

or

“Next Friday, not this coming one but the next one”

depending on the situation. Works every time, zero confusion.

(or, if today is Friday: “Next Friday, not today but the next one.”)
posted by mekily at 11:34 AM on September 23, 2021


As I read it, the poster is asking about whether next Friday can refer to the upcoming one or the one in the following week.

That question has been answered in the affirmative. It can, in both cases. Subsequent discussion has included what people do to resolve this ambiguity.
posted by zamboni at 12:17 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]


Friday week

This is the way.
posted by HiroProtagonist at 9:30 PM on September 23, 2021


Same thing happens in French, and I'm on the side that distinguishes between 'this Friday' and 'next Friday', but it's not universal, so I always add more information.
posted by anzen-dai-ichi at 8:53 AM on September 25, 2021


"This Friday" is the upcoming Friday. "Next Friday" is the Friday after the upcoming Friday. "Last Friday" is the Friday that just passed, and "Friday before last" is the Friday prior to the Friday that just passed.

People who say "next Friday" and mean "this Friday" don't understand how the fourth dimension works and cannot be trusted. "Friday week" is utterly meaningless.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:32 PM on September 26, 2021


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