Why can’t I dance?
September 12, 2021 10:58 AM   Subscribe

I can walk and run and jump. I’m a decent athlete (running, skiing, biking, etc.) and I can keep time when singing or playing instruments. But when it comes to dancing, it’s like my brain and body don’t connect. Why? And can I ever improve?

I’ve tried taking dance classes but it’s like my body turns to lead. I feel music very deeply and passionately and can sing and play instruments reasonably well, but once I try to move my body in any sort of coordinated rhythm, it all goes to pot.

I’m not ashamed of my inability to dance, and will still shake around the living room like a madwoman (or in public to the embarrassment of friends and family!) but sometimes I’d like to pay tribute to the music by moving my body along with it (in time and with cool moves!) Is this something that can ever happen for me? Any suggestions or experiences welcome. Thanks.
posted by stillmoving to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (10 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
 
Are you dyspraxic? It can affect fine or gross motor control. Very common!
posted by lloquat at 11:12 AM on September 12, 2021 [4 favorites]


There's definitely neurological wiring that has to be built and strengthened, just like pretty much any spatial movement - it's very different from singing, or the kind of very fine spatial movement of most instruments (unless you are a skilled harpist or glockenspiel player, or play in a marching band).

You might start with dance-exercise videos or classes - zumba, for example, or good old aerobics or "jazzercise" - it's good repetitive simple choreography to start training your body to move in big basic building blocks. There are tons of youtube channels like The Fitness Marshall, who use current dance hits and dance moves so some of what you're learning is what's broadly called "hip hop dance" now, but I suspect you can find every flavor of dance style influence if you search hard enough. And if part of your roadblock is performance anxiety, the at-home factor might help you get to a level of coordination that gets you past the block in a classroom later.

If even those turn out to be too difficult to do or dangerous, it may be worth talking to your doctor about a neurological assessment to see if you do have actual spatial-recognition issues or challenges.
posted by Lyn Never at 11:19 AM on September 12, 2021 [1 favorite]




I got more comfortable dancing after taking a hula hoop class. I think I would have been too self conscious to take a DANCE-dance class, but hooping was just different enough to get me out of my head while actually teaching me some of the same movements.
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:51 AM on September 12, 2021


I got more comfortable dancing after taking Aikido, it has a lot of smooth and twirly aspects. Or maybe some self-defense-ish (non-terribly fighty) Karate class all right punch, left punch, wax on, wax off. Martial arts tend to have certain dance like performance forms (kata in Japanese styles) that you just learn to perform the sequence. Then you just have to loosen up and do your martial art to the beat (while not looking suspicious) because you're fighting off with utmost grace imaginary movie villains who are also dancing.
posted by zengargoyle at 3:31 PM on September 12, 2021


An interesting place to start may be ballet barre exercises. They are mechanically pretty simple in the easiest level, and usually done slowly. They are part of the building blocks that lead to combinations. I used a stair railing when I was a kid to practice. A chair or dresser edge can also work. There are about a bazillion videos on YouTube, though I can't vouch for any particular one.
posted by kathrynm at 3:32 PM on September 12, 2021


Learning to move multiple parts of your your body in a coordinated, rhythmic way is a learned skill. Prioperception (knowing where you body / limbs are in space without looking at them, or in a mirror) is also a learned skill and is important for dancing.

Additionally, your joints dont get used often the way they are in dance, so those need strengthening for balance and control.

I agree a zumba or other slightly-dance leaning workout would be helpful,aware following simple youtube tutorials for dance moves. It just takes time and regular practice. Practicing in front of a mirror at first is good, but you'll want to phase it out at some points so you dont learn to rely solely on it to inform your movements.

Some of it may be performance anxiety, which I believe is why dancing is often traditionally accompanied by drinking, aka liquid courage.
posted by ananci at 3:39 PM on September 12, 2021


A good friend of mine who is now an amazing (social) dancer started with no rhythm and no feeling. He had a teacher though who had him and some other kids in the same boat start by just walking around to a beat — anything with a strong downbeat will do. Just walk, and hit the beat with each step. No stress of having to dance, to feel the music in a specific way throughout your body. Just get some rhythm into your bones.

If you start from the very basics like this you may find you can develop feeling for the mind/music/body connection.
posted by wemayfreeze at 5:25 PM on September 12, 2021 [1 favorite]


Agreeing with the advice above on starting small, with stuff like walking to a beat. Mapping stuff out into the sequences and practice, practice, practice/memorization is really the way. You want to train your brain/body in such a way that it will fall back into the learned pattern if you get thrown off step.

Due to issues** (see below), I find it infinitely easier to stand next to someone modeling what to do with any kind of coordinated sequence of movements and following along that way, or having a pattern I can put on the floor and follow, rather than facing a person and trying to translate what they do to my own body. This is why most videos where the person is facing you and modeling steps while talking to you just don't work for me, and in classes I've had to beg to stand next to the instructor to follow what they do.

**I'm dyspraxic, though with a milder version (fortunately) than the person in the link that lloquat shared. It expresses itself different in different individuals, of course. I can't tell my left from my right easily, can't drive, have bad spatial awareness in general, am woefully bad at any sport that requires hand-eye coordination, have a bad sense of direction and get lost easily (including in the building where I work), and I have never successfully learned any dance that is in any way complicated. I'm resigned to it at this point.

Fingers crossed that you will have better luck than me. I'm encouraged by the fact that you can ski, for example, because there is coordinated movement and a form of rhythm in that which I can't even begin to master. (My aunt, with similar issues to me, actually broke her leg getting on to the ski lift the first/only time she tried skiing.) I'm also assuming you drive.
posted by gudrun at 5:50 AM on September 13, 2021 [1 favorite]


I am you. For my whole life, my body doesn't move like my brain tells it to.

If I play basketball, I get a jammed thumb every time.

If I play soccer, I try to kick the ball and miss.

If I dance, I look like a flailing octopus.

I have just decided not to do those activities. Like you, I am great at music and rhythm - it is specifically full-body movements that I can't control. Cest la vie.
posted by tacodave at 5:54 PM on September 13, 2021


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