How can I stop sacrificing my glasses to the sea gods?
August 23, 2021 9:24 PM Subscribe
I build and repair boats. Often, these boats are on the water. I have offered up a second pair of my glasses to the gods of the briny deep as of today, after an initial offering in December. I have tried various types of glasses retainers and found that they last a week, at best, before becoming useless by falling off the temple tips of my glasses.
What I really would like is to purchase a pair of prescription glasses that have the temples extend all the way around my head in a closed loop. My attempts to search for such a thing have proved fruitless. The best option I've been able to find has been sports googles for basketball, which rely on a stretchy band that seems destined to stretch out after a few days of sweating on them.
Does anyone know of any prescription offerings that include a single piece temple that goes all the way around the head?
Failing that, I'm open to recommendations for retainers that actually last more than a week in a dynamic physical labor environment.
What I really would like is to purchase a pair of prescription glasses that have the temples extend all the way around my head in a closed loop. My attempts to search for such a thing have proved fruitless. The best option I've been able to find has been sports googles for basketball, which rely on a stretchy band that seems destined to stretch out after a few days of sweating on them.
Does anyone know of any prescription offerings that include a single piece temple that goes all the way around the head?
Failing that, I'm open to recommendations for retainers that actually last more than a week in a dynamic physical labor environment.
I haven't used these myself, but you could try prescription goggles.
Personally I use the Chums glasses holders but it sounds like that type of lightweight holder is not up to the task for you.
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto at 9:37 PM on August 23, 2021
Personally I use the Chums glasses holders but it sounds like that type of lightweight holder is not up to the task for you.
posted by rogerrogerwhatsyourrvectorvicto at 9:37 PM on August 23, 2021
Gorilla tape. I'm serious. Just make your own.
When I was a whitewater kayaker, I had a pair of $12 glasses from Zenni. I then used Gorilla tape to make a custom-length retainer that couldn't fit back off over my helmet. You won't have the benefit of a helmet, but you probably also won't be running rapids upside down ...
For a typical width roll, tear off a half-width. Then fold that piece in half. Fit the last inch or two of your earpieces into each end of the piece, being sure the fold is next to your ears so you won't have the rougher bit annoying sensitive skin. It's possible to remove with intent, but there was absolutely no danger of the gorilla tape coming off my glasses without significant effort.
posted by Metasyntactic at 10:07 PM on August 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
When I was a whitewater kayaker, I had a pair of $12 glasses from Zenni. I then used Gorilla tape to make a custom-length retainer that couldn't fit back off over my helmet. You won't have the benefit of a helmet, but you probably also won't be running rapids upside down ...
For a typical width roll, tear off a half-width. Then fold that piece in half. Fit the last inch or two of your earpieces into each end of the piece, being sure the fold is next to your ears so you won't have the rougher bit annoying sensitive skin. It's possible to remove with intent, but there was absolutely no danger of the gorilla tape coming off my glasses without significant effort.
posted by Metasyntactic at 10:07 PM on August 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
Best answer: I permanently bonded a necklace-style eyeglass retainer to a pair of glasses using waterproof (the kind with heat-activated adhesive inside) heat-shrink tubing. I slipped appropriately-sized tubing over the temples, attached the retainer strap to the temples, and then slid the heat-shrink tubing over the joint. Warmed it until the glue melted and the tubing shrunk, and it's there for life.
Boating stores also sell retainers with small floats on them, though I am bothered by the way they feel on the back of my neck.
posted by xedrik at 10:18 PM on August 23, 2021 [9 favorites]
Boating stores also sell retainers with small floats on them, though I am bothered by the way they feel on the back of my neck.
posted by xedrik at 10:18 PM on August 23, 2021 [9 favorites]
When I was a lifeguard we always just used a simple lanyard that attached at the temples and had a cinch to tighten to take up the slack. Never had a problem with them falling apart or falling off. Something like this.
posted by qwip at 10:26 PM on August 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by qwip at 10:26 PM on August 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
When I sailed on a tall ship for a summer, I kept my glasses on with a handmade glasses retainer. It was made out of tarred hemp marline twine, which is basically a thin waterproof string with some tar to make it stick to itself a bit when tied. I used a constrictor knot to attach it to the temples of my glasses (I tied a loose version of the knot around my palm first, then slipped it onto the temple and tightened appropriately).
It lasted the full season, not coming loose even once. Constrictor knots are your friend.
posted by danceswithlight at 10:33 PM on August 23, 2021
It lasted the full season, not coming loose even once. Constrictor knots are your friend.
posted by danceswithlight at 10:33 PM on August 23, 2021
Duct tape. It was mentioned above. Tape around one end of the glasses twist tape except for about an inch then tape other end. When I was younger I would do that playing baseball. I would make it so tight I had to cut the tape behind my head and then remove the tape later.
You could belt and suspender it by putting one of those lanyard things that cinch over the end piece of the glasses before you do the tape. I could also see using a spring clip on both ends from the tape to the back collar of your shirt. That way if you lean over head first and the tape is not tight enough the clamp thing will hold.
posted by AugustWest at 11:23 PM on August 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
You could belt and suspender it by putting one of those lanyard things that cinch over the end piece of the glasses before you do the tape. I could also see using a spring clip on both ends from the tape to the back collar of your shirt. That way if you lean over head first and the tape is not tight enough the clamp thing will hold.
posted by AugustWest at 11:23 PM on August 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
As someone who does a lot of outdoor stuff and wears RX glasses, I can relate. However the answer is not a device. It’s Zenni Optical. When your glasses cost $50-75 you give much less of a shit about expending them on risky activities.
posted by spitbull at 3:44 AM on August 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by spitbull at 3:44 AM on August 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
If you have a small face/eyes the kids’ Nano brand has a headband that swaps in for the arms of the frame. I’ve been hoping for an adult version since my son’s first pair.
posted by warriorqueen at 3:55 AM on August 24, 2021
posted by warriorqueen at 3:55 AM on August 24, 2021
Hat trolley, yo.
I have pair of mitten clips, hooked back-to-back, that would secure the strap/retainer/Croakies to the back of your collar. I will send you a photo and can mail it to you immediately if it would serve.
posted by wenestvedt at 5:06 AM on August 24, 2021
I have pair of mitten clips, hooked back-to-back, that would secure the strap/retainer/Croakies to the back of your collar. I will send you a photo and can mail it to you immediately if it would serve.
posted by wenestvedt at 5:06 AM on August 24, 2021
String.
Just tie a string to each earpiece, looks dorky, always around, works.
posted by sammyo at 6:09 AM on August 24, 2021
Just tie a string to each earpiece, looks dorky, always around, works.
posted by sammyo at 6:09 AM on August 24, 2021
You might consider trying frames with cable temples. They are really much better at staying on.
posted by fritley at 6:30 AM on August 24, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by fritley at 6:30 AM on August 24, 2021 [1 favorite]
You should try cable temple glasses. I love them for extreme conditions and having to be upside down etc.
https://www.framesdirect.com/collections/cable-temple-glasses-dp
That's just a sample I'm pretty sure you can find frames that you like.
posted by snsranch at 8:58 AM on August 24, 2021 [1 favorite]
https://www.framesdirect.com/collections/cable-temple-glasses-dp
That's just a sample I'm pretty sure you can find frames that you like.
posted by snsranch at 8:58 AM on August 24, 2021 [1 favorite]
You want floating glasses straps, like these. The kind that have a rubber or neoprene sleeve that fits tightly around the ends of your glasses arms definitely stay on better than the kind with little loops that slip over them. And they float, so if they do fall off your head, you can retrieve them from the water.
posted by ssg at 9:39 AM on August 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by ssg at 9:39 AM on August 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
thirding cable temples... i love my shuron ronstrongs - got them for martial arts and dance classes so i could move or take a hit without my glasses going flying
posted by kokaku at 5:58 PM on August 24, 2021
posted by kokaku at 5:58 PM on August 24, 2021
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Crystalinne at 9:32 PM on August 23, 2021 [2 favorites]