The people upstairs walk so LOUD
August 2, 2021 8:34 AM Subscribe
New neighbors moved in upstairs in my old, three family brownstone building. The last neighbors were the quietest people on the face of the earth. I got used to their soundless existence above me for a number of years. I realize the new neighbors are just walking, which is well within their rights to do! But it's a thud, thud, thud when they walk. Hopefully I'll adjust. But any suggestions for speeding this process on my end? Mentally? I don't really think there's any sound mitigation I can do.
Perhaps the first neighbors removed their shoes in the apartment, and your new neighbors do not? Not sure how you’d deal were that the case…
posted by carterk at 9:30 AM on August 2, 2021
posted by carterk at 9:30 AM on August 2, 2021
Picture them as elephants? How lovely, to have a herd of elephants living right there in your building.
(If they're heel-walkers, which about half my neighbours have been, they probably have no clue how loud it is downstairs - and might be able to adjust their walking style without it being any bother, if they knew and were open to the idea. But as to how you could explain it to them...)
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 9:33 AM on August 2, 2021
(If they're heel-walkers, which about half my neighbours have been, they probably have no clue how loud it is downstairs - and might be able to adjust their walking style without it being any bother, if they knew and were open to the idea. But as to how you could explain it to them...)
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 9:33 AM on August 2, 2021
I had some super loud walkers above me last year and the main thing that shifted my adjustment was to think about how nice it was, knowing other people were home and awake. I might not know them, but I knew things about them -- what time they went to bed, when their cats were doin stuff. I could also hear when they were watching Law and Order because the distinctive "chunk-chunk" sound carried like footsteps lol.
(This might have been more effective because we were in lockdown at the time and it could feel pretty desolate.)
During the day when I WFH I will just typically have headphones on, even though I live alone and it wouldn't bother anyone. That helps me tune out all sorts of city-living nuisance sounds, including the neighbor footsteps.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:51 AM on August 2, 2021 [6 favorites]
(This might have been more effective because we were in lockdown at the time and it could feel pretty desolate.)
During the day when I WFH I will just typically have headphones on, even though I live alone and it wouldn't bother anyone. That helps me tune out all sorts of city-living nuisance sounds, including the neighbor footsteps.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 9:51 AM on August 2, 2021 [6 favorites]
Get to know them as people. Loud upstairs neighbors are much more annoying when they are a nebulous impersonal force.
There are things they can do to mitigate the noise-- e.g. wearing only soft-soled shoes (or no shoes) indoors, putting down rugs or carpet, etc. But suggesting these things may not help; for example, my dust allergies are bad enough that rugs/carpet aren't an option (and back when I was renting I'd specifically seek out uncarpeted places). But it was an option to not to wear heels or other especially clacky shoes inside the house; it may not have been perfect but the downstairs neighbors did seem to be happier with it.
In order to know what requests might actually work for both parties, you'll need to at least speak with your neighbors, and that will be easier if you meet them as people. (Yes, challenging in the current era).
posted by nat at 10:40 AM on August 2, 2021 [1 favorite]
There are things they can do to mitigate the noise-- e.g. wearing only soft-soled shoes (or no shoes) indoors, putting down rugs or carpet, etc. But suggesting these things may not help; for example, my dust allergies are bad enough that rugs/carpet aren't an option (and back when I was renting I'd specifically seek out uncarpeted places). But it was an option to not to wear heels or other especially clacky shoes inside the house; it may not have been perfect but the downstairs neighbors did seem to be happier with it.
In order to know what requests might actually work for both parties, you'll need to at least speak with your neighbors, and that will be easier if you meet them as people. (Yes, challenging in the current era).
posted by nat at 10:40 AM on August 2, 2021 [1 favorite]
Get to know them.... For all you know, they could be artists... (That artists bit is not serious, but hopefully it will lift your spirits a little)
posted by rozcakj at 11:32 AM on August 2, 2021
posted by rozcakj at 11:32 AM on August 2, 2021
I've been on both sides of this (literally) myself and I think the best approach is to tell them about the building's qualities. If you introduce yourself and let them know that it's an old building or whatever and the floors are pretty thin and resonant, that is kind of a warning and ask without having to say "you're too loud." I've done this and pre-apologized for my own sounds like loud music or occasional gaming rage leaking through the floor, and it just puts it in their head that A) sound is going through the floor/ceiling so maybe take it down a notch and B) lines of communication are open. Just giving them that priming might help them unconsciously step quieter etc.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 12:53 PM on August 2, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 12:53 PM on August 2, 2021 [5 favorites]
"Get to know them" may work, for some people; but to play the devil's advocate, that didn't help in my case. I've had this issue a couple of times before; in both cases I met and chatted with them but that neither changed anything nor made it any easier to bear on my own part. But even so, after maybe a couple months my brain learned to just stop paying attention to them for the most part, kind of like tuning out traffic when living near a busy road - i.e. on some level I'm aware of the noise, but it doesn't break my concentration/sleep or annoy me (unless I'm sick or in a really terrible mood...).
If they're adults who are naturally stompers, there's probably nothing you can say or do to change that behavior, and bringing it up with them - even in a friendly way - seems more likely to alienate them than make them try to stop (IMO). Perhaps, as others have said, a mental adjustment might happen sooner for you if you get to know them as people, but you'll probably adjust eventually either way.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:28 PM on August 2, 2021
If they're adults who are naturally stompers, there's probably nothing you can say or do to change that behavior, and bringing it up with them - even in a friendly way - seems more likely to alienate them than make them try to stop (IMO). Perhaps, as others have said, a mental adjustment might happen sooner for you if you get to know them as people, but you'll probably adjust eventually either way.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:28 PM on August 2, 2021
I live on the third floor and am not a stomper, but I'm a big guy (around 250 pounds) so my footsteps are naturally heavy.
I have lived in this apartment for four years and only had a complaint once - when the downstairs neighbor came up to complain they said "Can you have your kids quiet down and stop stomping so much?" I invited them in and showed them that me and the kids were all seated comfortably, wacthing shows on TV, Kindles, the computer, etc. I don't know what they were hearing, but it clearly wasn't me or my kids...
In any case, since that time I've made an effort to be quieter - and those neighbors moved out relatively quickly - but there's only so much we can do. I figure it is just part of shared living spaces, kind of like how my apartment gets really hot because the heat from the apartments under mine rises. Would I go ask the neighbors to turn their heaters down? Nope. I just adjust my own situation to make things cooler up here.
posted by tacodave at 6:33 PM on August 2, 2021 [3 favorites]
I have lived in this apartment for four years and only had a complaint once - when the downstairs neighbor came up to complain they said "Can you have your kids quiet down and stop stomping so much?" I invited them in and showed them that me and the kids were all seated comfortably, wacthing shows on TV, Kindles, the computer, etc. I don't know what they were hearing, but it clearly wasn't me or my kids...
In any case, since that time I've made an effort to be quieter - and those neighbors moved out relatively quickly - but there's only so much we can do. I figure it is just part of shared living spaces, kind of like how my apartment gets really hot because the heat from the apartments under mine rises. Would I go ask the neighbors to turn their heaters down? Nope. I just adjust my own situation to make things cooler up here.
posted by tacodave at 6:33 PM on August 2, 2021 [3 favorites]
I could have written this. I believe it has a lot to do with how they walk. 8 years of rotating tenants and their boyfriends in that unit were quiet. I spent a year being nice, getting to know them a bit and never felt like I could ask them to walk differently. It’s like they walk just like they walk on a concrete sidewalk outside. My boyfriend wears noise canceling headphones most of the day. A few times I have texted to ask what’s going on (installing an air conditioner above my bedroom at 11 pm) and reminded them how thin the floors are. My apartment is too affordable for me to move out for these people even though they affect our daily moods.
posted by Bunglegirl at 8:47 PM on August 2, 2021
posted by Bunglegirl at 8:47 PM on August 2, 2021
As long as it isn't outside of quiet hours it's OK.
(The first time I met my upstairs neighbors, 3(?) years ago, they walked up on the porch during my party. I was tipsy and had been thinking about jiu jitsu recently and I'd been hearing them walking around. I awkwardly asked them if they were doing jiu jitsu. I talked to them a few weeks ago and she said they still laugh about jiu jitsu.)
posted by bendy at 10:08 PM on August 2, 2021
(The first time I met my upstairs neighbors, 3(?) years ago, they walked up on the porch during my party. I was tipsy and had been thinking about jiu jitsu recently and I'd been hearing them walking around. I awkwardly asked them if they were doing jiu jitsu. I talked to them a few weeks ago and she said they still laugh about jiu jitsu.)
posted by bendy at 10:08 PM on August 2, 2021
Like you, my extremally quiet upstairs neighbor recently moved. The new guy sounded like he's pogo sticking. I had a word with my landlord and he installed carpeting. Worked wonders.
posted by james33 at 5:20 AM on August 3, 2021
posted by james33 at 5:20 AM on August 3, 2021
If someone told me I was walking in my house wrong, I would take their advice and start tap dancing instead. Part of living under someone is tolerating their noise.
posted by Geckwoistmeinauto at 8:13 AM on August 3, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Geckwoistmeinauto at 8:13 AM on August 3, 2021 [1 favorite]
« Older Stoop my android phone from reading things outloud | Multifocal lens replacement surgery question Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by turkeybrain at 8:54 AM on August 2, 2021 [6 favorites]