How can I make my girlfriend's birthday extra special?
July 29, 2021 3:21 AM Subscribe
My girlfriend is turning 30 and organised a party but a bunch of her closest friends can't make it, and it's gotten her really down, so I want to make it as special as possible. I've never done any party organising and would love some activity ideas or ways to make the day special for her.
Games to get people mingling, dumb activities, or just anecdotes from parties you've been to and enjoyed would be great!
My girlfriend is 30 this year and it's meant to be a special milestone, but because of a combination of covid, friends having kids and a little bit of them being inconsiderate a few of her closest friends can't make it (we've moved to my home city away from hers so she doesn't see them often anymore).
I've got her a gift ready and we've organised a party but the majority of people there will be more closely linked to me. I feel terrible not putting as much effort as I can into making it special for her but I'm terrible at coming up with party games, activities, theme stuff! Help?
I've considered doing a quiz and karaoke, but what other things might be good? It'll be a house party with one fairly large room, and we're expecting around 30 people to turn up.
My girlfriend is 30 this year and it's meant to be a special milestone, but because of a combination of covid, friends having kids and a little bit of them being inconsiderate a few of her closest friends can't make it (we've moved to my home city away from hers so she doesn't see them often anymore).
I've got her a gift ready and we've organised a party but the majority of people there will be more closely linked to me. I feel terrible not putting as much effort as I can into making it special for her but I'm terrible at coming up with party games, activities, theme stuff! Help?
I've considered doing a quiz and karaoke, but what other things might be good? It'll be a house party with one fairly large room, and we're expecting around 30 people to turn up.
Put extra effort into food and booze (assuming you drink). Cocktails and yummy and plentiful assortment of finger food, based around her favourites. Take care of it all for her. Its special to her, and puts everyone in a good mood arriving to a better than expected spread.
If money is tight you can still do it on a budget- bowls of retro candy from her childhood to get everyone nostalgic, mint and lemon slices and strawberries to add into to drinks.
posted by hotcoroner at 4:41 AM on July 29, 2021 [5 favorites]
If money is tight you can still do it on a budget- bowls of retro candy from her childhood to get everyone nostalgic, mint and lemon slices and strawberries to add into to drinks.
posted by hotcoroner at 4:41 AM on July 29, 2021 [5 favorites]
Can you give her the gift of a visit to her old hometown where she can meet her closest friends where they are? Obviously, this is a terrible idea if she would hate it but it’s wonderful to meet up with close friends even if it’s only every year or two.
I don’t think you can make the party make up for friends who cannot travel to see her. Having children is a real thing and makes it hard to get away. But if you could contact her friends and organize a weekend away, that would be an amazing 30th birthday celebration. Of course, I don’t know your girlfriend. Maybe she would hate this. But consider asking her. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 4:43 AM on July 29, 2021
I don’t think you can make the party make up for friends who cannot travel to see her. Having children is a real thing and makes it hard to get away. But if you could contact her friends and organize a weekend away, that would be an amazing 30th birthday celebration. Of course, I don’t know your girlfriend. Maybe she would hate this. But consider asking her. Good luck!
posted by Bella Donna at 4:43 AM on July 29, 2021
Are you able to do things during the day too? A surprise, romantic picnic for the two of you with her favourite foods and some nice drinks; a fun tourist excursion that she'd enjoy; lunchtime cocktails somewhere with a view; a surprise meet-up with someone she wasn't expecting to see (or zoom calls with matching drinks at either end); a treasure hunt around the park where you've hidden clues and the last one is a special person/a gift/a cocktail bar....
If you can make the day as a whole lovely, it takes the pressure off the party to be The One Big Thing That Represents Her Birthday And The State of Her Life At This Moment. If she arrives at the party already feeling pretty cherished and special, that'l help you both relax and enjoy the evening.
posted by penguin pie at 5:02 AM on July 29, 2021 [7 favorites]
If you can make the day as a whole lovely, it takes the pressure off the party to be The One Big Thing That Represents Her Birthday And The State of Her Life At This Moment. If she arrives at the party already feeling pretty cherished and special, that'l help you both relax and enjoy the evening.
posted by penguin pie at 5:02 AM on July 29, 2021 [7 favorites]
If she is fond of a special food you could plan a tasting menu around this?
For instance, if she likes caviar, you could prepare a tasting of several kinds of red/black caviar. Same could work with cheeses…
Karaoke and quizzes sounds like a nightmare to me, and I would avoid them like the plague (no pun intended), concentrating instead on experiences that are connected to your shared intimacy.
posted by slimeline at 5:05 AM on July 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
For instance, if she likes caviar, you could prepare a tasting of several kinds of red/black caviar. Same could work with cheeses…
Karaoke and quizzes sounds like a nightmare to me, and I would avoid them like the plague (no pun intended), concentrating instead on experiences that are connected to your shared intimacy.
posted by slimeline at 5:05 AM on July 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
Hire a DJ. Get a personalized cake based around her favorite movie/sports team/whatever theme. Theme the entire party. Give her a coupon love book. Ask her friends who can’t come to record video messages wishing her a happy birthday.
posted by jitterbug perfume at 5:13 AM on July 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by jitterbug perfume at 5:13 AM on July 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
If you can secretly contact all the friends and family who can’t make it to the party, schedule Zoom (or whatever) chats with them, in adjacent 15-20 minute slots throughout the morning (or whenever). Only tell your girlfriend you need to keep that time free.
On the day she has one surprise chat after another with people she didn’t expect to see.
I did this for Mrs Fabius last year (when no parties were possible) and it was really lovely. A bonus these days is that everyone is familiar with how to do video chats!
posted by fabius at 5:17 AM on July 29, 2021 [5 favorites]
On the day she has one surprise chat after another with people she didn’t expect to see.
I did this for Mrs Fabius last year (when no parties were possible) and it was really lovely. A bonus these days is that everyone is familiar with how to do video chats!
posted by fabius at 5:17 AM on July 29, 2021 [5 favorites]
FILL YOUR BATHTUB WITH GOLDFISH. And don't tell any of your guests. When someone goes to the bathroom, that's when the fun begins.
We did this for a party over a decade ago and people who were there still talk about it. Instructions below:
The morning of the party I went to a pet store and got a bag full of "feeder" fish*, some stuff to make the water safe for the fish and a little net for catching them. The store employee was so tickled by the plan that he gave me a bunch of baggies and rubber bands for free. I then cleaned the bathtub and rinsed it well, filled it up with water and dosed the water with the fish safe stuff. Then I released the fish. Set up the net and bags near the tub so guests can catch fish and take them home as party favors.
*The bonus is that the "feeder" fish got to live long lives as cherished pet fish. I'd estimate that people took home most of the fish (it's impossible to count a bunch of swimmy fish so who knows how many we started with really) and we had a large tank set up and ready for the fish who did not get adopted.
posted by RobinofFrocksley at 5:37 AM on July 29, 2021 [5 favorites]
We did this for a party over a decade ago and people who were there still talk about it. Instructions below:
The morning of the party I went to a pet store and got a bag full of "feeder" fish*, some stuff to make the water safe for the fish and a little net for catching them. The store employee was so tickled by the plan that he gave me a bunch of baggies and rubber bands for free. I then cleaned the bathtub and rinsed it well, filled it up with water and dosed the water with the fish safe stuff. Then I released the fish. Set up the net and bags near the tub so guests can catch fish and take them home as party favors.
*The bonus is that the "feeder" fish got to live long lives as cherished pet fish. I'd estimate that people took home most of the fish (it's impossible to count a bunch of swimmy fish so who knows how many we started with really) and we had a large tank set up and ready for the fish who did not get adopted.
posted by RobinofFrocksley at 5:37 AM on July 29, 2021 [5 favorites]
What does she like? Is she extraverted or introverted? I really think the key thing isn’t planning the perfect party but instead figuring out what would specifically make her birthday special for her. Can you ask her close friends who aren’t making the party for some help? I’m sure they’d have good ideas that would be better coming from people who actually know her!
posted by Champagne Supernova at 5:37 AM on July 29, 2021
posted by Champagne Supernova at 5:37 AM on July 29, 2021
nting that picking things your partner actually cares about is key.
In my limited experience, very specific charades or pictionary works well among like minded people of good will. As do themed costume/food/drink requests. If there's a book, film, musician, location you know she loves, that's a good start. Let the guests do the work.
Edit: When asking guests to make a reference to specific media, giving three options isn't a bad idea.
posted by eotvos at 8:17 AM on July 29, 2021
In my limited experience, very specific charades or pictionary works well among like minded people of good will. As do themed costume/food/drink requests. If there's a book, film, musician, location you know she loves, that's a good start. Let the guests do the work.
Edit: When asking guests to make a reference to specific media, giving three options isn't a bad idea.
posted by eotvos at 8:17 AM on July 29, 2021
You're a good partner. :)
It seems like the party just isn't going to be the "thing" this year for her, so I would interpret your question as about the whole day.
Wake her up with breakfast "in bed" (or at the table, but the point being a show) with a beautiful bouquet of flowers, her favorite breakfast food/drink (mimosa or bloody mary too, if that's her thing), and a handwritten card/letter professing your love. Have the house all clean and tidy. Tell her to get ready, take her time to put on her favorite outfit and feel cute.
Then take her on a fun outing - maybe to a beautiful arboretum or botanical garden or park, or to a lake or natural place -- something summery.
In the afternoon, see if ONE of her closest friends would come meet you as a surprise and take her to a) get pedicures b) go shopping for a fun new outfit for the party c) go for a hike/go rock climbing d) go to a movie e) insert activity your lady and her friend love to do together. If you can't find one friend to do this, just book her a 60 minute massage at a spa :)
At the party, present her with thoughtful handwritten cards (harder for you -- have to go pick them all up), or pre-recorded video messages (easier for them), from all the friends who couldn't be there.
posted by amaire at 9:25 AM on July 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
It seems like the party just isn't going to be the "thing" this year for her, so I would interpret your question as about the whole day.
Wake her up with breakfast "in bed" (or at the table, but the point being a show) with a beautiful bouquet of flowers, her favorite breakfast food/drink (mimosa or bloody mary too, if that's her thing), and a handwritten card/letter professing your love. Have the house all clean and tidy. Tell her to get ready, take her time to put on her favorite outfit and feel cute.
Then take her on a fun outing - maybe to a beautiful arboretum or botanical garden or park, or to a lake or natural place -- something summery.
In the afternoon, see if ONE of her closest friends would come meet you as a surprise and take her to a) get pedicures b) go shopping for a fun new outfit for the party c) go for a hike/go rock climbing d) go to a movie e) insert activity your lady and her friend love to do together. If you can't find one friend to do this, just book her a 60 minute massage at a spa :)
At the party, present her with thoughtful handwritten cards (harder for you -- have to go pick them all up), or pre-recorded video messages (easier for them), from all the friends who couldn't be there.
posted by amaire at 9:25 AM on July 29, 2021 [1 favorite]
Personalized Cameo videos have gone over really well when I needed to do something special for a birthday.
posted by corey flood at 10:56 AM on July 29, 2021
posted by corey flood at 10:56 AM on July 29, 2021
Do you know anybody with artistic/ photoshop talent?
Is there room for a Photo Booth with a custom frame and backdrop (print at Staples or print shop).
Get buttons made with a cute little kid photo of her and each guests name.
Buy cheap wine and/or beer glasses, make a stencil, personalize. Make cute new labels for wine and beer.
Lots of streamers in her favorite colors, use both crepe paper and cheap curling ribbon. The balloon letters and numbers are quite effective, hit up the best local party shop, Enlist decortaing help.
Banner. So Many Options on Etsy.
Limit the really cheesy slogans, stick to Happy Birthday %Name or even her initials and the date.
Special breakfast, make sure people at her work know it's her birthday, great party food.
Ask guests and friends who can't attend to send 30 of something - candies are easy, but people can be creative.
Short video (maybe tiktok) messages from people who can't attend making toasts. ask everyone to contribute to a party playlist.
posted by theora55 at 1:38 PM on July 29, 2021
Is there room for a Photo Booth with a custom frame and backdrop (print at Staples or print shop).
Get buttons made with a cute little kid photo of her and each guests name.
Buy cheap wine and/or beer glasses, make a stencil, personalize. Make cute new labels for wine and beer.
Lots of streamers in her favorite colors, use both crepe paper and cheap curling ribbon. The balloon letters and numbers are quite effective, hit up the best local party shop, Enlist decortaing help.
Banner. So Many Options on Etsy.
Limit the really cheesy slogans, stick to Happy Birthday %Name or even her initials and the date.
Special breakfast, make sure people at her work know it's her birthday, great party food.
Ask guests and friends who can't attend to send 30 of something - candies are easy, but people can be creative.
Short video (maybe tiktok) messages from people who can't attend making toasts. ask everyone to contribute to a party playlist.
posted by theora55 at 1:38 PM on July 29, 2021
Not sure if this was already mentioned but have her friends send a 1 min video which you can put together and play on her bday with you. Alternatively, you could have people email you something great about her or a memory which you could print out on nice 3x5 cards, hole punch the corner, add a binder ring so she can have it and refer to it any time.
posted by ColdIcedT at 10:08 AM on August 6, 2021
posted by ColdIcedT at 10:08 AM on August 6, 2021
This thread is closed to new comments.
Because, putting on my Captain Obvious hat, karaoke and quizzes are great if she likes them, but not if she's not into them.
Things to think about:
Is she a fan of any show, game, franchise? We could give you ideas for a party themed around it.
Does she like being the center of attention or would she rather not?
Could absent friends maybe send video greetings or skype in?
If you can, maybe you should get her input on what a perfect party would look like to her. If it's a surprise, maybe you could consult with her best friends?
posted by Omnomnom at 3:38 AM on July 29, 2021 [4 favorites]