Help me find a UK based, LGBTQ specialising sex therapist
May 7, 2021 11:43 PM Subscribe
My partner has some issues around sex that she would like help working through, but we're not quite sure how to find the right person for the job.
The issues are primarily psychological/emotional in nature. My partner feels intensely vulnerable when trying to talk about this, and doesn't yet have the vocabulary to do so. She feels a sex therapist who specialises, or is extremely well versed, in LGBTQ issues would be best suited to helping her. Neither of us is quite sure how to find the right person.
There is some trauma involved, but that's not the whole story, so trauma counselling doesn't seem like quite the right fit. There are likely quite a few different intertwined emotional threads, that somebody with a wealth of experience around LGBTQ issues (like, internalised homophobia, shame, etc.) would seem best positioned to uncovering and untangling. She thinks the best route is to have solo therapy, but I'm very willing to engage as a couple if that's the deemed appropriate by the therapist (and my partner) at any point - certainly it has had a profound impact on our relationship, which may need addressing at some point regardless.
We're based in the North East of England, and it would be my partner's preference to have in-person therapy, given the greater privacy this would afford. However, understanding that local options may be limited, a therapist further afield who is able to work via Zoom would also be possible.
Any pointers to get us looking in the right direction (including terminology) would be appreciated, or specific recommendations would be wonderful. In the latter case, a LGBTQ identifying female would be ideal, though other options are welcome too.
The issues are primarily psychological/emotional in nature. My partner feels intensely vulnerable when trying to talk about this, and doesn't yet have the vocabulary to do so. She feels a sex therapist who specialises, or is extremely well versed, in LGBTQ issues would be best suited to helping her. Neither of us is quite sure how to find the right person.
There is some trauma involved, but that's not the whole story, so trauma counselling doesn't seem like quite the right fit. There are likely quite a few different intertwined emotional threads, that somebody with a wealth of experience around LGBTQ issues (like, internalised homophobia, shame, etc.) would seem best positioned to uncovering and untangling. She thinks the best route is to have solo therapy, but I'm very willing to engage as a couple if that's the deemed appropriate by the therapist (and my partner) at any point - certainly it has had a profound impact on our relationship, which may need addressing at some point regardless.
We're based in the North East of England, and it would be my partner's preference to have in-person therapy, given the greater privacy this would afford. However, understanding that local options may be limited, a therapist further afield who is able to work via Zoom would also be possible.
Any pointers to get us looking in the right direction (including terminology) would be appreciated, or specific recommendations would be wonderful. In the latter case, a LGBTQ identifying female would be ideal, though other options are welcome too.
Highly suggest asking your local rape crisis centre for a referral, as many independent sexual violence advocates (who help navigate sexual violence victims through the criminal justice system) are trained in sex therapy and will do private practice. They usually have a main number you can call.
posted by parmanparman at 5:46 AM on May 8, 2021
posted by parmanparman at 5:46 AM on May 8, 2021
Check out the Pink Therapy directory. I don't know if the list is well populated for your part of the country, but as a starting point online or phone sessions may still be useful.
posted by fight or flight at 8:09 AM on May 8, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by fight or flight at 8:09 AM on May 8, 2021 [1 favorite]
Seconding Pink Therapy, I found my therapist through there.
posted by corvine at 9:09 AM on May 8, 2021
posted by corvine at 9:09 AM on May 8, 2021
The keyword you’re looking for is “psychosexual therapist.” Checkout https://www.cosrt.org.uk/ for more info; you can also find a directory of their members there. Happy to chat more by MeMail if you like. Good luck.
posted by stillmoving at 12:09 PM on May 8, 2021
posted by stillmoving at 12:09 PM on May 8, 2021
Seconding everybody talking about starting from a local LGBT organisation, who may be able to help recommend/refer to a therapist.
But I'd also recommend considering the BACP's therapists directory. Pop in your postcode to search locally, then tick e.g. the "Sexuality" filter checkbox and "Update results". Note that this is based on self-declaration by the therapist, but the profiles they provide will give more information on why they claim a particular specialisation (so you can reject e.g. anybody whose background suggests that they're of the "conversion therapy" line of thought, although you'll be glad to hear that this is rare in non-religious professional settings).
In the UK, it's easy for just about anybody to call themselves a therapist, which is why I recommend considering searching through recognised professional bodies with moderatey-stringent membership requirements (qualification, evidence of ongoing professional development, insurance, etc.): e.g. the BACP or UKCP (who also have a search tool).
posted by avapoet at 12:41 PM on May 8, 2021
But I'd also recommend considering the BACP's therapists directory. Pop in your postcode to search locally, then tick e.g. the "Sexuality" filter checkbox and "Update results". Note that this is based on self-declaration by the therapist, but the profiles they provide will give more information on why they claim a particular specialisation (so you can reject e.g. anybody whose background suggests that they're of the "conversion therapy" line of thought, although you'll be glad to hear that this is rare in non-religious professional settings).
In the UK, it's easy for just about anybody to call themselves a therapist, which is why I recommend considering searching through recognised professional bodies with moderatey-stringent membership requirements (qualification, evidence of ongoing professional development, insurance, etc.): e.g. the BACP or UKCP (who also have a search tool).
posted by avapoet at 12:41 PM on May 8, 2021
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posted by Vortisaur at 4:59 AM on May 8, 2021