Help me survive a transition
March 23, 2021 5:42 PM Subscribe
My boss is officially leaving, things went a little nuts at work, I'm going on anxiety meds to cope, and I just need some help on how to make it through this transition.
I first want to thank those who have answered these past couple questions about my job. On top of the silly anxiety and stress, I feel guilty asking these when I know I should feel grateful to have a job right now.
I have decided to definitely not pursue the "promotion" of my boss's job and not apply--because I have now verified that this just isn't the role for me. I am working through that guilt of "giving up" and not being as ambitious, but the sense of relief I have knowing I don't have to pursue it is immense. I've already got the talk from my boss about how disappointed she would be if I don't apply after I mentioned a bit of hesitation. This morning, I received news that my 3 roles will turn into 5 (supervising back filled positions--which is great to have them on while I'm on another role) but I will not have the authority in my job description and I will not have the capacity and will not have the pay. My boss is upset that they're having me do this without considering compensation, but she can't do anything now that she's on the way out. I plan to discuss this again with my boss's boss because I know my quality of work will suffer as I'm stretched thin, along with the rest of our department.
What I need help with is figuring out how to survive this transition and how to make it through.
I actually accepted a different position that will start in May. The position is part-time, but the expectation is for me to go full-time by late summer/early fall. It is a contract position that lasts one year, and a 1099, but it pays 2x what I make now (so I can figure out the taxes and my own health insurance and still come out making OK money.) I mainly took it because it's very flexible, schedule your own/less hours, and a part of my field I've wanted to try--one that I think could be good at and enjoy. It puts me back in touch with people directly which I have wanted.
I have not let anyone know yet because I don't plan on leaving my job just yet, but will work both jobs (quite a few people in our department hold two jobs.) I want to help transition in April, try and help our project in May and then hopefully put my notice in June or July.
Part of me is doing that out of guilt (my boss leaves in one week, how terrible would it be to leave soon after--and not with a "impressive" job that makes sense with my career path. I think leadership would be less understanding.) Part of it because I am scared of looking like a job hopper (but that is already futile--I've only been here for a little over a year.) And the other part of me is just really scared. My anxiety brain is not helping me in creating the WORST scenarios (i.e., you bad person and worker--you're not cut out for high level jobs or just JOBS. You took this contract job and that will ruin your career! What if you do it for a year and hate it? You've made a mistake. You are better off not existing, etc. etc.) It feels so stupidly extreme for this situation over a job. A job that I can't seem to function well in for the past few months. I have an appointment for medication (after being in therapy for years) this week though.
I seem to be spiraling and it seems like even with working from 7am-6pm on some days, I cannot finish everything. There are certainly items I will procrastinate--they bring me dread and then I just cry at my desk. It's really ridiculous, I know.
How do I survive this transition? The transition while my boss's role gets filled (if my boss's boss won't let up on my 5 roles--what's the best way to prioritize without killing myself?) and the transition when I start my new role in May? I am a bit afraid I'll be zapped when I start that part-time role. As much as I want to take a vacation, there isn't time right now. My boss is leaving, I have to work in the roles I was temporarily "promoted" to which are ramping up, meaning I probably will get pinged on my time off. Unless I have an emergency, I don't feel like I have a good reason. Quitting my job could be a (expensive) vacation, but that would deviate from my plan to help my current company. Any help is appreciated again.
I first want to thank those who have answered these past couple questions about my job. On top of the silly anxiety and stress, I feel guilty asking these when I know I should feel grateful to have a job right now.
I have decided to definitely not pursue the "promotion" of my boss's job and not apply--because I have now verified that this just isn't the role for me. I am working through that guilt of "giving up" and not being as ambitious, but the sense of relief I have knowing I don't have to pursue it is immense. I've already got the talk from my boss about how disappointed she would be if I don't apply after I mentioned a bit of hesitation. This morning, I received news that my 3 roles will turn into 5 (supervising back filled positions--which is great to have them on while I'm on another role) but I will not have the authority in my job description and I will not have the capacity and will not have the pay. My boss is upset that they're having me do this without considering compensation, but she can't do anything now that she's on the way out. I plan to discuss this again with my boss's boss because I know my quality of work will suffer as I'm stretched thin, along with the rest of our department.
What I need help with is figuring out how to survive this transition and how to make it through.
I actually accepted a different position that will start in May. The position is part-time, but the expectation is for me to go full-time by late summer/early fall. It is a contract position that lasts one year, and a 1099, but it pays 2x what I make now (so I can figure out the taxes and my own health insurance and still come out making OK money.) I mainly took it because it's very flexible, schedule your own/less hours, and a part of my field I've wanted to try--one that I think could be good at and enjoy. It puts me back in touch with people directly which I have wanted.
I have not let anyone know yet because I don't plan on leaving my job just yet, but will work both jobs (quite a few people in our department hold two jobs.) I want to help transition in April, try and help our project in May and then hopefully put my notice in June or July.
Part of me is doing that out of guilt (my boss leaves in one week, how terrible would it be to leave soon after--and not with a "impressive" job that makes sense with my career path. I think leadership would be less understanding.) Part of it because I am scared of looking like a job hopper (but that is already futile--I've only been here for a little over a year.) And the other part of me is just really scared. My anxiety brain is not helping me in creating the WORST scenarios (i.e., you bad person and worker--you're not cut out for high level jobs or just JOBS. You took this contract job and that will ruin your career! What if you do it for a year and hate it? You've made a mistake. You are better off not existing, etc. etc.) It feels so stupidly extreme for this situation over a job. A job that I can't seem to function well in for the past few months. I have an appointment for medication (after being in therapy for years) this week though.
I seem to be spiraling and it seems like even with working from 7am-6pm on some days, I cannot finish everything. There are certainly items I will procrastinate--they bring me dread and then I just cry at my desk. It's really ridiculous, I know.
How do I survive this transition? The transition while my boss's role gets filled (if my boss's boss won't let up on my 5 roles--what's the best way to prioritize without killing myself?) and the transition when I start my new role in May? I am a bit afraid I'll be zapped when I start that part-time role. As much as I want to take a vacation, there isn't time right now. My boss is leaving, I have to work in the roles I was temporarily "promoted" to which are ramping up, meaning I probably will get pinged on my time off. Unless I have an emergency, I don't feel like I have a good reason. Quitting my job could be a (expensive) vacation, but that would deviate from my plan to help my current company. Any help is appreciated again.
I'm a realist, and I know I would not be able to work two jobs proficiently - certainly not with one that requires 11 hour days.
At your current job:
You are being given more work than you can actually do in the time they are paying you for. You therefore say 'this is more work than I can do'. If they do not let up then you do some reasonable proportion of the work. If they do not set priorities you choose which work you do.
You never hide the fact that work will not get done, you tell people up front that you have no time in which to do that work. You do not volunteer your own time to do that work.
Work will not get done. People will get upset. They will probably accuse you of being some variety of bad person, because that is easier and most certainly cheaper than doing their own job properly and employing more people. Boo hoo.
Regarding the new job:
I would absolutely leave this job for the other one when it starts. Jobs are a transaction: your time for their money, and anything else is charity. And they are not deserving of your charity: you are papering over the cracks left by your management doing a half arsed job. Leave them to discover the mess they have brought upon themselves when the time comes.
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 7:51 PM on March 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
At your current job:
You are being given more work than you can actually do in the time they are paying you for. You therefore say 'this is more work than I can do'. If they do not let up then you do some reasonable proportion of the work. If they do not set priorities you choose which work you do.
You never hide the fact that work will not get done, you tell people up front that you have no time in which to do that work. You do not volunteer your own time to do that work.
Work will not get done. People will get upset. They will probably accuse you of being some variety of bad person, because that is easier and most certainly cheaper than doing their own job properly and employing more people. Boo hoo.
Regarding the new job:
I would absolutely leave this job for the other one when it starts. Jobs are a transaction: your time for their money, and anything else is charity. And they are not deserving of your charity: you are papering over the cracks left by your management doing a half arsed job. Leave them to discover the mess they have brought upon themselves when the time comes.
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 7:51 PM on March 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
I've tried to work a full-time job together with another part-time job before, and it's really really hard. I would let go of any idea that your current job deserves your help. They don't, taking care of yourself should be your first priority.
posted by augustimagination at 8:51 PM on March 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by augustimagination at 8:51 PM on March 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
You are prioritizing what everyone else will think over what is best for you. And yet, you are the only person in this mess who cares about what happens to you - that needs to be your first priority. Second, your work is not taking care of you - they are giving tons of extra work without any extra pay or other sign of appreciation. I see no reason you owe them loyalty beyond doing as decent a job as you are able while you are there.
Quitting soon after your boss is OK. Quiting after working for a year is OK. Doing a less than perfect job because perfect isn't possible is OK (usually even near perfect isn't possible either) Turning down a job that doesn't suit you is not only OK but you should be proud of yourself for taking care of yourself instead of getting caught up in an external standard of prestige.
My vote, if you can afford it, is to quit when your new part-time job starts and use the rest of the work day to take care of yourself and get yourself in as healthy as place as possible for when the new job ramps up.
posted by metahawk at 9:37 PM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
Quitting soon after your boss is OK. Quiting after working for a year is OK. Doing a less than perfect job because perfect isn't possible is OK (usually even near perfect isn't possible either) Turning down a job that doesn't suit you is not only OK but you should be proud of yourself for taking care of yourself instead of getting caught up in an external standard of prestige.
My vote, if you can afford it, is to quit when your new part-time job starts and use the rest of the work day to take care of yourself and get yourself in as healthy as place as possible for when the new job ramps up.
posted by metahawk at 9:37 PM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
With your boss leaving and your current company increasing your responsibilities, YOU have a lot of leverage. If you were to resign right now, they would be screwed. Tell them that either they reduce your responsibilities or pay you for the additional hours. If they say no, put in your notice.
posted by AugustWest at 1:53 AM on March 24, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by AugustWest at 1:53 AM on March 24, 2021 [4 favorites]
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E.g., you’re talking about getting ‘pinged’ in your time off. What happens if you’re unresponsive when someone tries to reach you at night or on a weekend? Does the oxygen supply to a ward full of ICU patients get compromised, or does your supervisor think you’re a slacker who isn’t a team player? If it’s just the latter, remember that your supervisor’s opinion doesn’t matter much to you anymore, and don’t answer your phone out of working hours.
Any other parts of your job that feel like laborious bullshit — people expect them to get done, but they don’t make much difference? Just don’t do them — it’ll plausibly take a few months for anyone to notice.
I’m not suggesting that you go on complete strike, just that you differentiate between things you need to do in order to get the functional parts of your job done adequately, and things you need to do to convince your supervisors that you’re an enthusiastic employee with a good attitude. Everything in the latter category becomes optional when you have a solid plan for your next job.
posted by LizardBreath at 6:42 PM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]