Or maybe I really _should_ be worried about evil clones?
January 25, 2021 6:41 AM Subscribe
A otherwise fairly fact-constrained Washington Post columnist wrote a weird article about spotting evil clones. Is there a joke I'm not getting?
I know that some sections (including the "Perspectives" setion, which this is in) are, yes, pretty open to journalistic creativity, but usually that's apropos of something in particular. For instance, Alexandra Petri's work is pretty obviously satirical but it's generally also pretty obvious from a perusal of the day's news as to what she's riffing on. But this one has me flummoxed for two reasons: first, I don't get the impression there's been some sort of high-profile public reference to "evil clones" to form a basis for a satire, and second, this doesn't really seem like this columnist's style at all? In his other writings, his tone typically wanders from archly wry to whimsical, and his departures from the truth mostly seem to be mild dramatic embellishments on an otherwise factual narrative. So, uh, what's going on here?
I know that some sections (including the "Perspectives" setion, which this is in) are, yes, pretty open to journalistic creativity, but usually that's apropos of something in particular. For instance, Alexandra Petri's work is pretty obviously satirical but it's generally also pretty obvious from a perusal of the day's news as to what she's riffing on. But this one has me flummoxed for two reasons: first, I don't get the impression there's been some sort of high-profile public reference to "evil clones" to form a basis for a satire, and second, this doesn't really seem like this columnist's style at all? In his other writings, his tone typically wanders from archly wry to whimsical, and his departures from the truth mostly seem to be mild dramatic embellishments on an otherwise factual narrative. So, uh, what's going on here?
"his tone typically wanders from archly wry to whimsical"
I don't know, this seems to fall pretty squarely within whimsical. Regardless of context, it's absolutely hysterical. The comments are also kind of funny. But if I had to bet, I'd say he's probably setting something up. The solicitation at the end makes me think he's going to be using some reader submissions in a future column, at which point, presumably, all will be revealed.
Thanks for asking this question, though. The article really brightened my day.
posted by kevinbelt at 7:21 AM on January 25, 2021 [1 favorite]
I don't know, this seems to fall pretty squarely within whimsical. Regardless of context, it's absolutely hysterical. The comments are also kind of funny. But if I had to bet, I'd say he's probably setting something up. The solicitation at the end makes me think he's going to be using some reader submissions in a future column, at which point, presumably, all will be revealed.
Thanks for asking this question, though. The article really brightened my day.
posted by kevinbelt at 7:21 AM on January 25, 2021 [1 favorite]
With zero context outside this article, my immediate knee-jerk reaction is this is obviously social commentary on stuff like how polarized the USA has become, the tendency to define people by single characteristics, "other-ing" people, having "wrong" opinions, etc. Like "I always thought Uncle Joe was a good guy, but he started expressing opinions about [the coronavirus pandemic / politics / whatever] that make me suspect he's been replaced by an evil clone who must be neutralized".
Some things I think support my view: the Mull paragraph, use of the word Isolate, agreed-upon questions like some sort of gotchya game, "sudden interest in rooting out the imposters who walk among us", the final paragraph about signature beliefs
posted by ToddBurson at 7:24 AM on January 25, 2021
Some things I think support my view: the Mull paragraph, use of the word Isolate, agreed-upon questions like some sort of gotchya game, "sudden interest in rooting out the imposters who walk among us", the final paragraph about signature beliefs
posted by ToddBurson at 7:24 AM on January 25, 2021
I don't know anything about this guy, never read any of his other writing. This stood out to me:
No dad, I am not a pod person because I use a towel more than one time before washing it. That value I was raised with wasn't as important to me when I had to walk 2 blocks and pay $4 to use the laundromat every time I had laundry to do.
No dad, I am not a pod person because I use butter instead of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, that's mom's weird obsession, not mine.
To me, this 100% reads as a dad's creative writing experiment after being faced with the reality that his grown child is not, ironically, a precise clone of her parents.
(Even further to the point, my dad started writing these weird little interactions down on post it notes and shoving them into his wallet. About 10 years ago when I was visiting for Christmas he dumped out a pile of these post its on the kitchen table and asked me if I could help him write a book full of all of these "hilarious" observations about me.)
posted by phunniemee at 7:28 AM on January 25, 2021 [21 favorites]
Why my sudden interest in rooting out the impostors who walk among us? It’s been on my mind for more than a year, ever since I visited my older daughter. Gwyn lives in Iowa and I noticed that she didn’t hang her toilet paper in the Kelly fashion. She had her roll with the tail draped over the top, not coming from under the back.My parents and I aren't close and I went to college very far away. My third year of college, my first year living in an apartment, my dad swung by to stay a night when he was nearby for a business trip. This reminds me SO MUCH of his reaction to literally EVERY CHOICE that was made in the apartment.
I was ready to call the cops, but Gwyn pointed out that this toilet paper obsession is my thing, not hers. Kids!
No dad, I am not a pod person because I use a towel more than one time before washing it. That value I was raised with wasn't as important to me when I had to walk 2 blocks and pay $4 to use the laundromat every time I had laundry to do.
No dad, I am not a pod person because I use butter instead of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, that's mom's weird obsession, not mine.
To me, this 100% reads as a dad's creative writing experiment after being faced with the reality that his grown child is not, ironically, a precise clone of her parents.
(Even further to the point, my dad started writing these weird little interactions down on post it notes and shoving them into his wallet. About 10 years ago when I was visiting for Christmas he dumped out a pile of these post its on the kitchen table and asked me if I could help him write a book full of all of these "hilarious" observations about me.)
posted by phunniemee at 7:28 AM on January 25, 2021 [21 favorites]
Yeah, guy’s just trying to branch out. Has possibly been watching too much Brian David Gilbert. Good for him.
posted by brook horse at 7:33 AM on January 25, 2021
posted by brook horse at 7:33 AM on January 25, 2021
Possibly inspired by the fringe right wing theory that Joe Biden is actually a clone?
posted by roosterboy at 7:43 AM on January 25, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by roosterboy at 7:43 AM on January 25, 2021 [2 favorites]
Maybe he’s developing Capgras delusions?
(It’s probably what phunniemee said, though.)
posted by en forme de poire at 9:45 AM on January 25, 2021
(It’s probably what phunniemee said, though.)
posted by en forme de poire at 9:45 AM on January 25, 2021
There's been something in the news or media or running around on Facebook this last week or so about clones. I remember replying to it and typing the word clone - especially my sarcastic reply that I'd like to have a couple - but I can't remember the details. It would have almost certainly been about Covid/vaccines or politics/recent current events... I wonder if there's a way I can see all my Facebook comments. I'll come back if I find it.
posted by stormyteal at 10:37 AM on January 25, 2021
posted by stormyteal at 10:37 AM on January 25, 2021
Ah, yes. Here's the relevant piece of what a friend posted:
"all these conspiracy theorists who believe so many celebrities are actually clones"
I'd assumed at the time it was probably QAnon stuff she was referring to, or something similar. So my guess is, the writer is taking a tangent off of that...
posted by stormyteal at 10:45 AM on January 25, 2021
"all these conspiracy theorists who believe so many celebrities are actually clones"
I'd assumed at the time it was probably QAnon stuff she was referring to, or something similar. So my guess is, the writer is taking a tangent off of that...
posted by stormyteal at 10:45 AM on January 25, 2021
What are we squares not getting?
He visited his older daughter and noticed she put the toilet paper the "wrong" way, and since he's a columnist for the Post, he wrote an article based on the premise that Gwen (the daughter in question) must be clone since his real daughter would never blah blah blah.
Seriously guys, you are really platin' the ol' beans here. This is exactly like the the recent post on The Blue about the certain pasta that author noticed it was sold out. That one was a funny (or "funny") article that combined manufactures focuses on more popular styles, and a specific brand going through FDA rules weirdness into a "sinister" underground war between Big Pasta and the Federal Government.
posted by sideshow at 2:13 PM on January 25, 2021
He visited his older daughter and noticed she put the toilet paper the "wrong" way, and since he's a columnist for the Post, he wrote an article based on the premise that Gwen (the daughter in question) must be clone since his real daughter would never blah blah blah.
Seriously guys, you are really platin' the ol' beans here. This is exactly like the the recent post on The Blue about the certain pasta that author noticed it was sold out. That one was a funny (or "funny") article that combined manufactures focuses on more popular styles, and a specific brand going through FDA rules weirdness into a "sinister" underground war between Big Pasta and the Federal Government.
posted by sideshow at 2:13 PM on January 25, 2021
He’s the editor of the weekend edition. Newspapers still leave them unsupervised, so they are a bit feral. This is how we ended up with Dave Barry.
posted by zenon at 7:57 AM on January 26, 2021
posted by zenon at 7:57 AM on January 26, 2021
...this doesn't really seem like this columnist's style at all? In his other writings, his tone typically wanders from archly wry to whimsical, and his departures from the truth mostly seem to be mild dramatic embellishments on an otherwise factual narrative.
Maybe he's an evil clone?
posted by kate4914 at 10:43 AM on January 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
Maybe he's an evil clone?
posted by kate4914 at 10:43 AM on January 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
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What are we squares not getting?
posted by wenestvedt at 7:06 AM on January 25, 2021