Putting red to bed?
January 4, 2021 3:19 PM Subscribe
I'm in my mid-50s and have dyed my hair red for many years. I love the red! But is it time to change the red out for what lurks below?
Over the course of the 20+ years I've had my hair colored I have had the majority of color touch-ups done professionally in a salon, and except for early pandemic, I had been getting salon touch-ups every 6 weeks. But all the upkeep in covid times is getting to be a bit much. I could save myself a lot of money if I was to do it myself or, alternatively, just stop coloring my hair. I'm too proud and don't know what to do.
My hair was once naturally brown, but as I was able to confirm at the beginning of the pandemic when I did not visit a salon for many many weeks, my hair has now become salt and pepper, heavy emphasis on salt.
As the pandemic stretches on, I've become extremely hesitant to physically go into businesses unless absolutely necessary. The only regular outing to enter a business has been these hair color touch-ups/trims, and I'm questioning myself constantly about going into salons now, even with the solid safety precautions mine has in place.
Since the start of the pandemic, when I stopped regularly visiting the salon, I've also become grossly aware of my own vanity, and that's so embarrassing. It feels cruddy to have grown-out roots revealing the stark difference between the red-haired me and the nature-taking-its-course haired me. Several years ago I did let my hair grow out for a tick, and the salt/pepper really does not look good with my skin tone (pale pink, freckle easily). When I grew my hair out I felt like it made me look washed out and tired.
So now I'm trying to figure out what to do with these growing out roots, because I really don't want to take any more chances than necessary. I'm more concerned about not catching death than I am about my silver roots, but my ego has become kind of bound up with the red hair thing, and I'm having a hard time talking myself through this. My wife is a big BIG! fan of the red, but has said she will support me doing whatever I want/need to do. I'm inclined to just go back to whatever color my natural color is and stop using permanent hair color. Butbutbut.
If I stop coloring my hair I also really, really don't want to have to go through the long process of having to let the red grow out (so very, very slow) and wonder if there is some other way I can go from red to slowly-less-red or not-red that I can do from home without too much technical know-how. I use L'oreal Magic Root Coverup for early root growth, but I can't imagine using that for however long it might take for roots to finish growing out.
If you have had a similar experience I would be grateful to hear about it. If you went back to gray/silver/white, how did you talk your ego through the adjustment?
Over the course of the 20+ years I've had my hair colored I have had the majority of color touch-ups done professionally in a salon, and except for early pandemic, I had been getting salon touch-ups every 6 weeks. But all the upkeep in covid times is getting to be a bit much. I could save myself a lot of money if I was to do it myself or, alternatively, just stop coloring my hair. I'm too proud and don't know what to do.
My hair was once naturally brown, but as I was able to confirm at the beginning of the pandemic when I did not visit a salon for many many weeks, my hair has now become salt and pepper, heavy emphasis on salt.
As the pandemic stretches on, I've become extremely hesitant to physically go into businesses unless absolutely necessary. The only regular outing to enter a business has been these hair color touch-ups/trims, and I'm questioning myself constantly about going into salons now, even with the solid safety precautions mine has in place.
Since the start of the pandemic, when I stopped regularly visiting the salon, I've also become grossly aware of my own vanity, and that's so embarrassing. It feels cruddy to have grown-out roots revealing the stark difference between the red-haired me and the nature-taking-its-course haired me. Several years ago I did let my hair grow out for a tick, and the salt/pepper really does not look good with my skin tone (pale pink, freckle easily). When I grew my hair out I felt like it made me look washed out and tired.
So now I'm trying to figure out what to do with these growing out roots, because I really don't want to take any more chances than necessary. I'm more concerned about not catching death than I am about my silver roots, but my ego has become kind of bound up with the red hair thing, and I'm having a hard time talking myself through this. My wife is a big BIG! fan of the red, but has said she will support me doing whatever I want/need to do. I'm inclined to just go back to whatever color my natural color is and stop using permanent hair color. Butbutbut.
If I stop coloring my hair I also really, really don't want to have to go through the long process of having to let the red grow out (so very, very slow) and wonder if there is some other way I can go from red to slowly-less-red or not-red that I can do from home without too much technical know-how. I use L'oreal Magic Root Coverup for early root growth, but I can't imagine using that for however long it might take for roots to finish growing out.
If you have had a similar experience I would be grateful to hear about it. If you went back to gray/silver/white, how did you talk your ego through the adjustment?
I went gray early (part genetics, part reaction to chemo) and even though I’m now at the age where it would be happening anyway, I’m still just not ready. Even though I’m the only person who sees me on a daily basis!
I’ve had a few professional colorings, but I’ve mostly been DIY. And I realize that my medium brown is probably easier to get right than your red.
But my advice is to just grab a boxed dye and a package of clips for sectioning and just give it a go. This is probably the best time to try it, since we’re not going out very often anyway. Home dyes don’t have the ammonia and other chemicals they did when my mother was using them, so they’re not likely to do you any harm as long as you follow the directions (including the strand test).
Personally, I just color the whole shebang instead of bothering with the root touch-up kits, but I know people who use and like them. I’m always afraid of the roots not matching the rest, but part of that is because I’m not particular about the brand and exact shade; people who always use the exact same thing probably have less to worry about.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:31 PM on January 4, 2021 [2 favorites]
I’ve had a few professional colorings, but I’ve mostly been DIY. And I realize that my medium brown is probably easier to get right than your red.
But my advice is to just grab a boxed dye and a package of clips for sectioning and just give it a go. This is probably the best time to try it, since we’re not going out very often anyway. Home dyes don’t have the ammonia and other chemicals they did when my mother was using them, so they’re not likely to do you any harm as long as you follow the directions (including the strand test).
Personally, I just color the whole shebang instead of bothering with the root touch-up kits, but I know people who use and like them. I’m always afraid of the roots not matching the rest, but part of that is because I’m not particular about the brand and exact shade; people who always use the exact same thing probably have less to worry about.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:31 PM on January 4, 2021 [2 favorites]
I'm not sure I understand the question so feel free to delete if this isn't on point but: I use drugstore hair color all the time, it's fine. I haven't really been able to tell the difference the couple of times I had it done professionally. Drugstore hair color comes in semi-permanent and permanent. The permanent isn't really permanent, but it's darker and more permanent than the semi-permanent.
I don't think you can do yourself any harm* by buying a bottle of drugstore semi permanent color - red, reddish or whatever you want that is more or less the same darkness level as what you've got - and seeing how that goes. It's not a huge commitment.
*it will stain your carpets and towels though if you're not careful. put an old towel down on the floor to protect it; have some damp paper towels nearby to wipe up any drops that might land on your counter; and have a dark colored towel to dry your hair with after you've washed it out.
posted by fingersandtoes at 3:32 PM on January 4, 2021 [6 favorites]
I don't think you can do yourself any harm* by buying a bottle of drugstore semi permanent color - red, reddish or whatever you want that is more or less the same darkness level as what you've got - and seeing how that goes. It's not a huge commitment.
*it will stain your carpets and towels though if you're not careful. put an old towel down on the floor to protect it; have some damp paper towels nearby to wipe up any drops that might land on your counter; and have a dark colored towel to dry your hair with after you've washed it out.
posted by fingersandtoes at 3:32 PM on January 4, 2021 [6 favorites]
My salon has sold premixed professional hair color to clients who are not comfortable coming into the salon, with some instructions on how to apply it at home. Maybe that’s a good middle ground option for you? I think the practice is fairly widespread among professional stylists.
posted by little mouth at 3:50 PM on January 4, 2021 [10 favorites]
posted by little mouth at 3:50 PM on January 4, 2021 [10 favorites]
Are you a person who wears makeup? You might feel a lot more comfortable growing out your silver hair with a bold red lip, even if it’s just to catch yourself in a reflection now and again.
I say absolutely go for the box dye, now is a great time. Not only are you doing your part to not be a vector of viral spread but you’re probably somewhere chilly enough that if you’re unhappy with the results you can wear a hat!
Whatever the results of your hair choices now, it’s not permanent. There will be a time in the future when you can go back to salon dying. Vanity is only really bad when it affects the lives of those around us in a negative way - so like, don’t go to the salon in the middle of a pandemic! But do have fun dressing in fancy clothes and feeling beautiful at home, take those Instagram selfies, etc. I think you might have an easier time of hair transition if you decouple it from your struggles with vanity. These can be related but separate things you’re working on at this time.
posted by Mizu at 3:51 PM on January 4, 2021 [6 favorites]
I say absolutely go for the box dye, now is a great time. Not only are you doing your part to not be a vector of viral spread but you’re probably somewhere chilly enough that if you’re unhappy with the results you can wear a hat!
Whatever the results of your hair choices now, it’s not permanent. There will be a time in the future when you can go back to salon dying. Vanity is only really bad when it affects the lives of those around us in a negative way - so like, don’t go to the salon in the middle of a pandemic! But do have fun dressing in fancy clothes and feeling beautiful at home, take those Instagram selfies, etc. I think you might have an easier time of hair transition if you decouple it from your struggles with vanity. These can be related but separate things you’re working on at this time.
posted by Mizu at 3:51 PM on January 4, 2021 [6 favorites]
I notice that you sound really all-or-nothing about this, almost as if you think that if you grew it out gray you would have to stop being vain and accept the appearance of your gray hair forevermore whether you liked it or not. If the pandemic makes you nervous about the salon, you can just quit going. You can have red hair with salt and pepper roots for awhile, or try a wild color in a coloring conditioner, or try a drugstore dye, or shave your head during the pandemic. Then afterwards you can dye it red again at the salon if you want. You don't have to make some big permanent decision. Hair is one of the few natural playthings we get. Whatever you do now doesn't have to be anything other than a whim of the moment.
posted by shadygrove at 4:02 PM on January 4, 2021 [18 favorites]
posted by shadygrove at 4:02 PM on January 4, 2021 [18 favorites]
I am the same same same except for brown hair instead of red. Embarrassed to be so vain, look washed out and washed up without hair color, when I have tried to go without. It's a problem I haven't solved yet. I haven't done it yet, but have you looked into dying your hair yourself with henna? From what I understand it slowly washes out over time so it might be a good way to transition.
posted by molasses at 4:04 PM on January 4, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by molasses at 4:04 PM on January 4, 2021 [2 favorites]
a note about henna since it has come up! once you use henna, professional stylists are VERY anxious about going near you with salon dyes. source: someone who used henna and then over a year later talked to stylists about matching my original hair color (and also questioned them if they'd be willing to do the henna application for me if I brought the premixed dye) - the answer was no and (no.) apparently henna makes the revlon, etc dyes do wonky things when they are applied over it and they're not so into taking on that risk. so.. henna's not bad - it's just that once you go the henna direction, it's hard to go in other directions. hope this helps.
posted by elgee at 4:10 PM on January 4, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by elgee at 4:10 PM on January 4, 2021 [5 favorites]
Do you have a specific salon stylist you go to usually? If so, ask to schedule a phone consultation with this person (or email or whatever works for you - my stylist has been doing consults in Instagram DMs but YMMV) and lay it out for them. They will probably have some good suggestions about how you can do this transition at home in a reasonable way - knowing your hair and your current color will probably allow them to give you good tailored product suggestions.
Stylists have been talking people through their DIY hair color options for months now; they will do it for you. (And then you should pay them generously for their time, obviously.)
Definitely talk to a professional if you're gonna henna over dyed hair; I know that dye over henna can end up badly, but I'm not sure about the reverse.
posted by Stacey at 4:12 PM on January 4, 2021 [2 favorites]
Stylists have been talking people through their DIY hair color options for months now; they will do it for you. (And then you should pay them generously for their time, obviously.)
Definitely talk to a professional if you're gonna henna over dyed hair; I know that dye over henna can end up badly, but I'm not sure about the reverse.
posted by Stacey at 4:12 PM on January 4, 2021 [2 favorites]
My salon is selling premixed colors to do at home for people that want to keep their roots in check at home, maybe contact them to see if they'd do the same for you to match your color. I'd suggest buying a brush & maybe a coverup and watching a video or 2 to learn the best techniques.
I've been dying my hair red since I started going grey at 18 and I am now 52 and I have vacilated between box & salon coloring my whole life, using a box dyes to extend the time between salon visits with no problem as long as I let my colorist know before hand hand to allow for it. The only time it's really a problem is with dark colors like dark browns & blacks as it's hard to make colors lighter again.
posted by wwax at 4:16 PM on January 4, 2021
I've been dying my hair red since I started going grey at 18 and I am now 52 and I have vacilated between box & salon coloring my whole life, using a box dyes to extend the time between salon visits with no problem as long as I let my colorist know before hand hand to allow for it. The only time it's really a problem is with dark colors like dark browns & blacks as it's hard to make colors lighter again.
posted by wwax at 4:16 PM on January 4, 2021
I have also been doing red dye for many decades (started going white before I graduated high school, and I don't like the light golden brown my hair is naturally). I have very thick, very long hair, so doing the lengths with box dye is very difficult for me at home, and the instructions will tell you to put the color through the lengths for the last five minutes of processing -- but *roots* are easy! If you (like me) do not need to pre-lighten, grab a box that's similar to what your hair looks like now and just do the roots. (The regular box kind is fine; you don't need the special root kits.) HOWEVER. The thing about reds is that they fade *very* quickly, and if you don't do *something* for the lengths, they will *not* match freshly-dyed roots. Perhaps a red/reddish blonde ombre is your thing? It is not mine, so I *also* use color-depositing conditioner on the lengths. I am currently using Overtone, but there are certainly others. I find it way, way easier to do a conditioner on the lengths than actual dye - otherwise I too might be eyeing the salon again. Red is hard, since it fades so fast!
posted by lysimache at 4:17 PM on January 4, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by lysimache at 4:17 PM on January 4, 2021 [1 favorite]
Just adding another vote for, "Hey, it's OK to grow it out for a while, and if you hate it, you have lots of other options."
Color was my one major splurge for years. Great color, lovely glistening color! About five years ago, some personal circumstances meant I didn't have the money or energy to keep up with regular salon color. So after growing it out for a bit and cropping it shorter to remove the dyed ends, it's now fully undyed, sort of a diet coke color with silvery temples. I wish it were more of a sophisticated half-salt, half-pepper sort of look at this point, but I have to admit that for now it's great to not have to think about it, like, ever.
I'll likely be back to work late sometime this year and have planned to make a decision about doing color again when the time comes, but I'm genuinely enjoying the respite. I spend a lot less time worried about my hair, in general, and I find that it's led me to relax about some other things as well. (Mizu's tip about the red lip is totally true! I do barefaced with moisturizer and a berry lip stain and at 45, it's very refreshing to wear so much less makeup than I wore in a conservative office environment at 23.)
posted by mochapickle at 4:29 PM on January 4, 2021 [1 favorite]
Color was my one major splurge for years. Great color, lovely glistening color! About five years ago, some personal circumstances meant I didn't have the money or energy to keep up with regular salon color. So after growing it out for a bit and cropping it shorter to remove the dyed ends, it's now fully undyed, sort of a diet coke color with silvery temples. I wish it were more of a sophisticated half-salt, half-pepper sort of look at this point, but I have to admit that for now it's great to not have to think about it, like, ever.
I'll likely be back to work late sometime this year and have planned to make a decision about doing color again when the time comes, but I'm genuinely enjoying the respite. I spend a lot less time worried about my hair, in general, and I find that it's led me to relax about some other things as well. (Mizu's tip about the red lip is totally true! I do barefaced with moisturizer and a berry lip stain and at 45, it's very refreshing to wear so much less makeup than I wore in a conservative office environment at 23.)
posted by mochapickle at 4:29 PM on January 4, 2021 [1 favorite]
I know you're asking a much bigger complicated emotional question, but I can confirm for you that if you want to home-dye with drugstore dye that's fine and your hair will very likely deal with that just fine and when all this is over your stylist is probably legally required to make a small ew face about box color but it is not actually a tragedy of any sort and will not add a million steps to your next color change.
As someone who normally goes with a bigger bolder red I decided early in the pandemic to go with a duller auburn brown because a) a slightly darker color tends to take very well in the previously-dyed hair b) reddish brown fades a LOT slower than big reds, and I am too tired to maintain color so vigorously. You'll have to keep up your roots after that, but that's not terribly hard.
OR, get a box color really close to (but I still suggest a titch darker, for coverage) the red you love! I have had my hair salon-dyed once in 30 years, I just use drugstore boxes and I get compliments on it, it's not hacky-looking or unshiny or anything. I mostly use Feria, but a lot of retail stores are carrying some formerly-salon-only lines like Schwartzkopf.
My recommendation would be to do that for however much longer we need to stay out of salons.
When all this is over though, consider doing what a lot of my friends have done when they decided to embrace the gray: go blonde, with a stylist's assistance. A couple of my friends have gone out with a bang and gone short and funky and easy to bleach out, and either done a last hurrah of surreal colors and let that fade or just went platinum. Others have gone with a highlight method that mostly focused on the outer layer of hair so that your part grows out gracefully and it's a bit of a slow-fade over time as your gray comes in more and more.
It's just hard and messy and frustrating to do that level of lift at home, it's stiff and hard to work with and easy to miss spots, if you have stubborn hair it can take multiple difficult days to do. So I say hang in there with box dye a little longer, at the very least.
posted by Lyn Never at 4:33 PM on January 4, 2021 [9 favorites]
As someone who normally goes with a bigger bolder red I decided early in the pandemic to go with a duller auburn brown because a) a slightly darker color tends to take very well in the previously-dyed hair b) reddish brown fades a LOT slower than big reds, and I am too tired to maintain color so vigorously. You'll have to keep up your roots after that, but that's not terribly hard.
OR, get a box color really close to (but I still suggest a titch darker, for coverage) the red you love! I have had my hair salon-dyed once in 30 years, I just use drugstore boxes and I get compliments on it, it's not hacky-looking or unshiny or anything. I mostly use Feria, but a lot of retail stores are carrying some formerly-salon-only lines like Schwartzkopf.
My recommendation would be to do that for however much longer we need to stay out of salons.
When all this is over though, consider doing what a lot of my friends have done when they decided to embrace the gray: go blonde, with a stylist's assistance. A couple of my friends have gone out with a bang and gone short and funky and easy to bleach out, and either done a last hurrah of surreal colors and let that fade or just went platinum. Others have gone with a highlight method that mostly focused on the outer layer of hair so that your part grows out gracefully and it's a bit of a slow-fade over time as your gray comes in more and more.
It's just hard and messy and frustrating to do that level of lift at home, it's stiff and hard to work with and easy to miss spots, if you have stubborn hair it can take multiple difficult days to do. So I say hang in there with box dye a little longer, at the very least.
posted by Lyn Never at 4:33 PM on January 4, 2021 [9 favorites]
I shaved my head in my early 50s (2 years ago), for a bunch of reasons more "important" than transitioning from dyed hair to my natural very gray hair, but have to say I've enjoyed the growing-out process, the lack of that line between dyed/undyed hair, and yes, even my salt & pepper look now. I'm *so much happier* no longer dying my hair.
posted by BlahLaLa at 4:38 PM on January 4, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by BlahLaLa at 4:38 PM on January 4, 2021 [5 favorites]
My husband finally let his hair grow out this year after several years of dying. It looked awful with roots, so he cut it off. It is mostly white with gray undertones. Honestly, it suits him, and I think white hair looks good on people no matter their skin tone. The biggest thing he had to adjust to was people's perception of that color hair. If you can get used to that, you'll save yourself an awful lot of fiddling with roots and some money as well.
posted by Armed Only With Hubris at 4:45 PM on January 4, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by Armed Only With Hubris at 4:45 PM on January 4, 2021 [2 favorites]
It sounds like you like the red! I think if you were sure you wanted to grow it out, that’s what you’d be asking? Maybe you’re just not ready!
FYI, I grew out my naturally brown, dyed-red for decades, greying hair by transitioning to med brown then light brown once that faded, then growing that out (light brown was less stark of a contrast with grey, and blended well enough.) This was all box dye and yes, it took a long time, and I’m sure it didn’t look amazing, but it wasn’t embarrassing. And I cut it more frequently. Once I was completely natural, I like you decided my greys didn’t suit me after all so I went back to dyeing.
Though I didn’t like the look, I liked: giving my hair a rest from chemical processing, seeing what my natural hair color was after all those years, and saving all that money. Plus it gave me a blank slate to try new colors.
posted by kapers at 4:54 PM on January 4, 2021
FYI, I grew out my naturally brown, dyed-red for decades, greying hair by transitioning to med brown then light brown once that faded, then growing that out (light brown was less stark of a contrast with grey, and blended well enough.) This was all box dye and yes, it took a long time, and I’m sure it didn’t look amazing, but it wasn’t embarrassing. And I cut it more frequently. Once I was completely natural, I like you decided my greys didn’t suit me after all so I went back to dyeing.
Though I didn’t like the look, I liked: giving my hair a rest from chemical processing, seeing what my natural hair color was after all those years, and saving all that money. Plus it gave me a blank slate to try new colors.
posted by kapers at 4:54 PM on January 4, 2021
I don’t know anything about hair color; I just wanted to say that being “vain” is nothing to feel embarrassed about. Feeling attractive is one of life’s pleasures!
posted by HotToddy at 5:33 PM on January 4, 2021 [11 favorites]
posted by HotToddy at 5:33 PM on January 4, 2021 [11 favorites]
I understand your internal wrestling about "vanity" here. I stopped permanently dyeing my hair a few years ago, and I can say that it was excruciating during the grow-out. There is something about three-inch roots that is just miserable. Boyfriend had to give me pep talks. I wore hats. Once I grew it all out, however, I was really happy I did so.
Since I didn't want to go through that growing out phase ever again, but was also getting a bit bored with the grey during the pandemic, a stylist friend recommended a color depositing shampoo/conditioner. This Punky Color 3 in 1 is really easy to use, doesn't stain my towels or pillowcases (though you may want to wear gloves when applying), and it washes out after a number of regular shampoos but does have decent staying power. It also sticks to my grey! I tried a couple of other ones and they didn't work as well for me. They have a red. It's a crayon red, but you can adjust the hue a bit by playing with how long you keep it on your head, how much you just use the depositing 3 in 1 vs. regular shampoo, etc.
Your results may vary, but this has really helped me keep a brighter disposition lately. Good luck!
posted by queensissy at 5:40 PM on January 4, 2021
Since I didn't want to go through that growing out phase ever again, but was also getting a bit bored with the grey during the pandemic, a stylist friend recommended a color depositing shampoo/conditioner. This Punky Color 3 in 1 is really easy to use, doesn't stain my towels or pillowcases (though you may want to wear gloves when applying), and it washes out after a number of regular shampoos but does have decent staying power. It also sticks to my grey! I tried a couple of other ones and they didn't work as well for me. They have a red. It's a crayon red, but you can adjust the hue a bit by playing with how long you keep it on your head, how much you just use the depositing 3 in 1 vs. regular shampoo, etc.
Your results may vary, but this has really helped me keep a brighter disposition lately. Good luck!
posted by queensissy at 5:40 PM on January 4, 2021
You can ask a colorist to strip out color for you / make it salt n pepper to lean in to salt and yet avoid the in between phase.
I have huuuuge strips of grey since my late 30s and I consider them nature’s highlights. Also I can’t wait to be a beautiful silver. Think Anderson Cooper 😉
posted by St. Peepsburg at 5:42 PM on January 4, 2021
I have huuuuge strips of grey since my late 30s and I consider them nature’s highlights. Also I can’t wait to be a beautiful silver. Think Anderson Cooper 😉
posted by St. Peepsburg at 5:42 PM on January 4, 2021
I have been messing around with my very thick, long hair since March. This included a somewhat misguided but not fully disastrous attempt at bleaching my hair, experimenting with various toners, a more successful attempt at bleaching roots using a different technique, a couple of self administered hair cuts etc. Some of this worked well, some of it less so. But none of it was a complete disaster. I figured the worst that could happen is that I‘d have to go and get a short hair cut to fix the problems I had caused myself. It turns out that every time I try something I learn something. Like how bleach actually works on my hair and how lazy I really am/what I can do and where my limits are. I also learned a lot about semi-permanent colour, about what shades I like and how to mix them etc.
So absolutely have a go touching up the colour yourself. You can use box dye or you can go to a beauty supply store and buy professional colour and developer and mix it yourself or buy pre mixed colour from a salon. I now much prefer to mix my own semi-permanent colour because with my long, thick hair, I would need at least two boxes anyway. There are a lot of video tutorials on how to colour your hair. As a rule, it is easier for yourself and for a stylist to correct colouration if the colour was semi-permanent. And it is easier to correct mid tones than dark tones. So if you are very worried consider that during your first attempts.
But unless you have limited mobility in your arms and physically can’t section your hair and apply colour it is very achievable to colour your hair yourself. Where it gets difficult is if you want highlights and lowlights and different shades in different parts of your hair. But it didn’t sound like that is what you‘re after.
posted by koahiatamadl at 6:03 PM on January 4, 2021 [2 favorites]
So absolutely have a go touching up the colour yourself. You can use box dye or you can go to a beauty supply store and buy professional colour and developer and mix it yourself or buy pre mixed colour from a salon. I now much prefer to mix my own semi-permanent colour because with my long, thick hair, I would need at least two boxes anyway. There are a lot of video tutorials on how to colour your hair. As a rule, it is easier for yourself and for a stylist to correct colouration if the colour was semi-permanent. And it is easier to correct mid tones than dark tones. So if you are very worried consider that during your first attempts.
But unless you have limited mobility in your arms and physically can’t section your hair and apply colour it is very achievable to colour your hair yourself. Where it gets difficult is if you want highlights and lowlights and different shades in different parts of your hair. But it didn’t sound like that is what you‘re after.
posted by koahiatamadl at 6:03 PM on January 4, 2021 [2 favorites]
Hi, my natural hair color is purple and the universe just forgot to give it to me, so I've been professionally or self coloring it for over a decade now. :) Not being able to keep that up the way I wanted during the pandemic gave me a bit of an identity crisis, but I have managed (using the first two of the options I discuss below). All of which is to say: I understand!
If you're not ready to embrace the full undyed color of your hair--and that's okay! It sounds understandably emotional for you and whooo are we all already dealing with enough emotional stress these days!--you can absolutely do some things at home to keep up a coloring routine. Even if you're as clumsy and bad at coloring within the lines as I am.
The easiest is to use a coloring conditioner like Overtone. You apply the more concentrated version every couple weeks, and every few days use a conditioner version to refresh it when you wash your hair. It does work with existing colors and with darker hair, they have some great videos and articles on how to do things like transition from a professional color. I call this the easiest method because it's very forgiving: you're not going to damage your hair, their colors can be bold but aren't super dramatic, any color mistakes you make (like impulsively deciding you wanted to go green and whoops that does not look right) will wash out in a few warm washes, and it won't stain your skin for longer than a couple hours (and if even that's not okay with you, wear gloves).
Or you could get a deposit-only hair color like Pravana (they have some nice natural-looking reds in their Chromasilk line as well as some funky ones in their Vivids line--it's not clear to me if your red is Auburn red or Copper red or Fire Engine red) or Arctic Fox (funky colors only), and apply that at home. This requires a little more effort and care. These products are still super unlikely to actually damage your hair (deposit-only means they just deposit the color onto your hair strands, and don't rely on a more complex chemical reaction that involves combining different chemicals to "develop"), but they're less forgiving--the colors are dramatic, they don't wash out as quickly, and you do need to wear gloves and apply carefully to avoid staining your forehead, hands, sink, carpet, etc.
If you want to put in a lot more effort and take a lot more risk, you could lift/bleach your own hair (assuming your red currently requires it), and then apply color, but at that point I figure that's what the pros are for, I personally prefer not going to take the risk, make the effort, or make my small apartment smell that bad. If you want to, though, plenty of other people do, and you can find tutorials online.
The drugstore boxes also work fine and aren't permanent, but have a limited color range, generally smell awful, and are more effortful to apply, so I stopped using those even when I was dying my hair more "natural" colors.
posted by rhiannonstone at 9:20 PM on January 4, 2021 [2 favorites]
If you're not ready to embrace the full undyed color of your hair--and that's okay! It sounds understandably emotional for you and whooo are we all already dealing with enough emotional stress these days!--you can absolutely do some things at home to keep up a coloring routine. Even if you're as clumsy and bad at coloring within the lines as I am.
The easiest is to use a coloring conditioner like Overtone. You apply the more concentrated version every couple weeks, and every few days use a conditioner version to refresh it when you wash your hair. It does work with existing colors and with darker hair, they have some great videos and articles on how to do things like transition from a professional color. I call this the easiest method because it's very forgiving: you're not going to damage your hair, their colors can be bold but aren't super dramatic, any color mistakes you make (like impulsively deciding you wanted to go green and whoops that does not look right) will wash out in a few warm washes, and it won't stain your skin for longer than a couple hours (and if even that's not okay with you, wear gloves).
Or you could get a deposit-only hair color like Pravana (they have some nice natural-looking reds in their Chromasilk line as well as some funky ones in their Vivids line--it's not clear to me if your red is Auburn red or Copper red or Fire Engine red) or Arctic Fox (funky colors only), and apply that at home. This requires a little more effort and care. These products are still super unlikely to actually damage your hair (deposit-only means they just deposit the color onto your hair strands, and don't rely on a more complex chemical reaction that involves combining different chemicals to "develop"), but they're less forgiving--the colors are dramatic, they don't wash out as quickly, and you do need to wear gloves and apply carefully to avoid staining your forehead, hands, sink, carpet, etc.
If you want to put in a lot more effort and take a lot more risk, you could lift/bleach your own hair (assuming your red currently requires it), and then apply color, but at that point I figure that's what the pros are for, I personally prefer not going to take the risk, make the effort, or make my small apartment smell that bad. If you want to, though, plenty of other people do, and you can find tutorials online.
The drugstore boxes also work fine and aren't permanent, but have a limited color range, generally smell awful, and are more effortful to apply, so I stopped using those even when I was dying my hair more "natural" colors.
posted by rhiannonstone at 9:20 PM on January 4, 2021 [2 favorites]
It is totally okay to dye it simply because you like being a redhead. (I do.) There is nothing wrong with "vainly" wanting to decide how you want to look. I looooove seeing someone rock their gray hair when they love it, but that doesn't mean that there is some intrinsic virtue in to "embracing your gray" just on principle. I also feel very washed out when my color fades to natural. I occasionally think about giving up the bother of it, but when it's re-dyed I look at myself and I am So Much Happier.
Feria is the best of the drugstore reds IMO and my hairstylists agree. (I actually just went to pro colors early in 2020 after dyeing it myself, because my favorite color was discontinued and I can't find anything similar.)
posted by desuetude at 12:09 AM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
Feria is the best of the drugstore reds IMO and my hairstylists agree. (I actually just went to pro colors early in 2020 after dyeing it myself, because my favorite color was discontinued and I can't find anything similar.)
posted by desuetude at 12:09 AM on January 5, 2021 [2 favorites]
If you don't like your natural gray, but at some point think red doesn't work anymore, there are lots of options to brighten/mellow gray, as well. Whatever you do now, when you get back to the salon you could ask your stylist what kinds of options there are.
posted by emjaybee at 6:30 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by emjaybee at 6:30 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
I am your age and have literally never had my hair dyed in a salon. Why would I, when I can do it myself for a fraction of the cost?
You speak of becoming "grossly aware of your vanity", as if being concerned and careful about one's own appearance was something disgusting and bad. As if it was somehow wrong for you to want to look a certain way. That's... weird, and distressing to me. If there is some external influence making you feel as if wanting to look a certain way is bad and wrong, I would strongly encourage you to kick that external influence to the curb immediately, for it is doing you no favors and must be stopped before it wrongs you further.
Whether you use Amazon or a smaller company like Sally's Beauty Supply, there's an entire world of colors and hair dyeing accoutrements at your fingertips without ever leaving the house. Please, feel free to use it. There's no reason for you to be barred from looking how you want to look in order to keep yourself safe, and every reason to use isolation and lockdown as a reason to explore and experiment with that look if you choose to. Go for it!
posted by WaywardPlane at 7:35 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
You speak of becoming "grossly aware of your vanity", as if being concerned and careful about one's own appearance was something disgusting and bad. As if it was somehow wrong for you to want to look a certain way. That's... weird, and distressing to me. If there is some external influence making you feel as if wanting to look a certain way is bad and wrong, I would strongly encourage you to kick that external influence to the curb immediately, for it is doing you no favors and must be stopped before it wrongs you further.
Whether you use Amazon or a smaller company like Sally's Beauty Supply, there's an entire world of colors and hair dyeing accoutrements at your fingertips without ever leaving the house. Please, feel free to use it. There's no reason for you to be barred from looking how you want to look in order to keep yourself safe, and every reason to use isolation and lockdown as a reason to explore and experiment with that look if you choose to. Go for it!
posted by WaywardPlane at 7:35 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
There is nothing wrong or embarrassing about wanting to get your hair sorted out. Even if you were ready to eagerly transition to your natural salt and pepper color, you'd likely ideally want to do it with the help of a stylist - it looks a bit wackadoodle to have really grown own roots to the point where you have two tone hair with a line around your head, and it's not a sign of exaggerated vanity that you would feel self conscious about that. Would you call a man who was bald and felt a bit more comfortable in a cap vain? It's normal!
I started to see grey in my hair in my late 20s and have been getting salon colored consistently since then. My hairstylist is a former chemical engineer and is so good with color that I have had CARS PULL OVER RANDOMLY to tell me my hair color was amazing (not a come on, just awe, it was nuts). I have been getting a deep red color for the last 1.5 years, naturally medium brown peppered with grey.
I was very resistant to do box dye when the pandemic started despite having done it in my teens because over the years I bought into the idea that my stylist was the only person who could ensure I got good color and didn't have straw hair. I held out for about 3 months until my self-consciousness overwhelmed my fear and went ahead and tried Madison Reed. It went just fine and I've been doing that ever since. In fact, it has gone well enough that I may not go back to my gal once this is over despite how good her work is. Is this color pull over on the road great? No. Is it relatively good and will it save me nearly a grand a year to stick with it? Yes. And when I say relatively good, I mean my hair is in nice condition and looks good, it just isn't as wow of a color as my stylist gave me.
Do a box dye. Stick to a dark color and you will be totally fine and feel much better to boot. You could probably try another brand besides madison reed, though they might be worth at least checking out for their color matching quiz - I used it and went with the color it spit out, and it worked out great for me. Also, make sure you have a good quality shampoo and conditioner - that will help ensure you avoid damage. Also, I have been using a collagen supplement due to some stress related shedding and it has made my hair much nicer overall - might be a good complement if you're nervous about over-processing. Good luck!
posted by amycup at 9:12 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
I started to see grey in my hair in my late 20s and have been getting salon colored consistently since then. My hairstylist is a former chemical engineer and is so good with color that I have had CARS PULL OVER RANDOMLY to tell me my hair color was amazing (not a come on, just awe, it was nuts). I have been getting a deep red color for the last 1.5 years, naturally medium brown peppered with grey.
I was very resistant to do box dye when the pandemic started despite having done it in my teens because over the years I bought into the idea that my stylist was the only person who could ensure I got good color and didn't have straw hair. I held out for about 3 months until my self-consciousness overwhelmed my fear and went ahead and tried Madison Reed. It went just fine and I've been doing that ever since. In fact, it has gone well enough that I may not go back to my gal once this is over despite how good her work is. Is this color pull over on the road great? No. Is it relatively good and will it save me nearly a grand a year to stick with it? Yes. And when I say relatively good, I mean my hair is in nice condition and looks good, it just isn't as wow of a color as my stylist gave me.
Do a box dye. Stick to a dark color and you will be totally fine and feel much better to boot. You could probably try another brand besides madison reed, though they might be worth at least checking out for their color matching quiz - I used it and went with the color it spit out, and it worked out great for me. Also, make sure you have a good quality shampoo and conditioner - that will help ensure you avoid damage. Also, I have been using a collagen supplement due to some stress related shedding and it has made my hair much nicer overall - might be a good complement if you're nervous about over-processing. Good luck!
posted by amycup at 9:12 AM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
Dyed redhead here, mid 50s too. I did not due for several months during the pandemic to see if I liked gray. No, I don't, thank you very much. Back to dying at home. A friend taught me years ago. I go to Sally Beauty and get Ion brand. I dye the roots for 20 minutes, then distribute to all hair and leave on ten additional. Also, get a good conditioner we while you're there. Costs $100 less than the salon and same results. Just make sure you dye every strand.
posted by DixieBaby at 9:51 AM on January 5, 2021
posted by DixieBaby at 9:51 AM on January 5, 2021
If you do decide to dye at home, I'd recommend watching as many of Brad Mondo's videos as you can to help ensure you get the best results possible.
In your situation, the number 1 piece of Brad advice I've picked up is that sectioning matters. If you try to glop the dye onto your hair as a whole and work it through, the color won't come out even. Small sections and generous application are essential.
posted by Lexica at 12:45 PM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
In your situation, the number 1 piece of Brad advice I've picked up is that sectioning matters. If you try to glop the dye onto your hair as a whole and work it through, the color won't come out even. Small sections and generous application are essential.
posted by Lexica at 12:45 PM on January 5, 2021 [1 favorite]
I was a fiery redhead until about five years ago. I couldn't always afford the salon and didn't like the mess of home coloring. Now my nieces, who are ruthlessly honest in all their assessments, compliment me on my "silver". (Every so often I want to try being a redhead again). YMMV.
Ultimately you will do what makes you feel best.
posted by intrepid_simpleton at 12:47 PM on January 5, 2021
Ultimately you will do what makes you feel best.
posted by intrepid_simpleton at 12:47 PM on January 5, 2021
Would you consider a wig? You could wear a red wig while your hair grows out. Then you could see if your natural color is acceptable. If not, wear your wig until COVID is over then return to the salon or color at home.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 3:47 PM on January 5, 2021
posted by a humble nudibranch at 3:47 PM on January 5, 2021
Response by poster: I hadn't considered how black/white my thinking about this has been, so that's worth the ponder. I also bought Feria hair color at the drugstore this week and -tahdahhh- I'm good to go again.
Thanks everyone!
posted by mcbeth at 2:45 PM on January 28, 2021 [1 favorite]
Thanks everyone!
posted by mcbeth at 2:45 PM on January 28, 2021 [1 favorite]
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