Mixed feelings about a (possible) career opportunity
October 21, 2020 5:25 PM Subscribe
I'm finding myself having VERY mixed feelings about a possible career opportunity. I feel like I should be excited, because if it would be great for my career if it pans out, but I'm not really excited about it anymore. Details inside.
Well, I guess this is the point of networking. The director of the library I'm currently working at put in some-sort of word for me at a different library in the area and it essentially resulted in them posting a job that exactly matched my resume. I was so excited when I saw this! I happily applied. I haven't heard back from them yet, so we'll actually see if this happens.
Initially, I was very excited for this opportunity, for a few reasons: A) It's a PERMANENT library job when there aren't many, B) better suited towards my skills/interests in librarianship than my current position, and C) I can gain elusive supervisory experience in this position. At first I thought that I could rock this job and it would fit like a glove.
My question is just... how can I approach this opportunity in a more balanced-healthy way?
However... I've been feeling more and more negatively towards this opportunity as the weeks have gone on. I'm sure a lot of these thoughts are irrational, but they're really sticking in my mind:
1) I feel like I have a lot of pressure on me from the director/other co-workers to get this position. It seems like I can't go through an hour without someone mentioning it. I know that it would make them very happy to see me get a job somewhere, so they are just being supportive. It's starting to feel overwhelming. Every time the director sees me, she asks me if I've heard them them about an interview, sigh... which so far has been no. She's also started asking me an interview question to get me "prepared" for the eventual interview. At first I didn't mind it, but it's starting to wreck my self-esteem. It's making me realize how terrible I am at interviewing, so my self-esteem has gone into the toilet, because everything I do seems wrong/gets negative feedback. I don't know how I'm supposed to entirely change my way of being before this "fated" interview.
2) Logically, even IF the director put in a good word for me at this library... they posted the job far and wide on national job boards. It's a tough economy and a lot of librarians are looking for work, I very much believe that more highly qualified librarians applied for this position. Overall, in the grande scheme of librarians... I'm probably about a solid B at this point, if I'm being generous. Maybe closer to a B-. Having my first "librarian" job during covid really did a number on my professional self-esteem. How do I just "pretend" that I have the skills they want, when in all likelihood better candidates than me applied? I feel silly!
3) Secretly, I was looking forward to being "unemployed" and taking a small break from working. Then resuming my job search in January/February. I know from reading some of my past questions this sounds insane, but it's something I've spoken about in-depth with my therapist and even she thinks it would be a good idea. I think I'm just at a point where everything that has happened in the past 4-ish years is catching up to me and I just need to pause and catch my breath. This opportunity... wouldn't allow me to do that? It's just more work, which is GREAT for my career, but makes me feel sad for my personal-life.
Also, it means that I'd be living in the most stereotypically "Albertan" place in Canada indefinitely. Moving back home with my mom would, at the very least, put me in a slightly more desirable (to me) city. I've kind of been trapped in my rented room since March and I hate it! This opportunity would mean... more of that?
My professional self-esteem is at an all-time low, just when I have a great (potential) opportunity in front of me. If it pans out, it would be *great* for my career... I feel very "meh" about it. How can I have a more healthy approach this opportunity? Is there another way to look at it?
It feels overwhelming.
Well, I guess this is the point of networking. The director of the library I'm currently working at put in some-sort of word for me at a different library in the area and it essentially resulted in them posting a job that exactly matched my resume. I was so excited when I saw this! I happily applied. I haven't heard back from them yet, so we'll actually see if this happens.
Initially, I was very excited for this opportunity, for a few reasons: A) It's a PERMANENT library job when there aren't many, B) better suited towards my skills/interests in librarianship than my current position, and C) I can gain elusive supervisory experience in this position. At first I thought that I could rock this job and it would fit like a glove.
My question is just... how can I approach this opportunity in a more balanced-healthy way?
However... I've been feeling more and more negatively towards this opportunity as the weeks have gone on. I'm sure a lot of these thoughts are irrational, but they're really sticking in my mind:
1) I feel like I have a lot of pressure on me from the director/other co-workers to get this position. It seems like I can't go through an hour without someone mentioning it. I know that it would make them very happy to see me get a job somewhere, so they are just being supportive. It's starting to feel overwhelming. Every time the director sees me, she asks me if I've heard them them about an interview, sigh... which so far has been no. She's also started asking me an interview question to get me "prepared" for the eventual interview. At first I didn't mind it, but it's starting to wreck my self-esteem. It's making me realize how terrible I am at interviewing, so my self-esteem has gone into the toilet, because everything I do seems wrong/gets negative feedback. I don't know how I'm supposed to entirely change my way of being before this "fated" interview.
2) Logically, even IF the director put in a good word for me at this library... they posted the job far and wide on national job boards. It's a tough economy and a lot of librarians are looking for work, I very much believe that more highly qualified librarians applied for this position. Overall, in the grande scheme of librarians... I'm probably about a solid B at this point, if I'm being generous. Maybe closer to a B-. Having my first "librarian" job during covid really did a number on my professional self-esteem. How do I just "pretend" that I have the skills they want, when in all likelihood better candidates than me applied? I feel silly!
3) Secretly, I was looking forward to being "unemployed" and taking a small break from working. Then resuming my job search in January/February. I know from reading some of my past questions this sounds insane, but it's something I've spoken about in-depth with my therapist and even she thinks it would be a good idea. I think I'm just at a point where everything that has happened in the past 4-ish years is catching up to me and I just need to pause and catch my breath. This opportunity... wouldn't allow me to do that? It's just more work, which is GREAT for my career, but makes me feel sad for my personal-life.
Also, it means that I'd be living in the most stereotypically "Albertan" place in Canada indefinitely. Moving back home with my mom would, at the very least, put me in a slightly more desirable (to me) city. I've kind of been trapped in my rented room since March and I hate it! This opportunity would mean... more of that?
My professional self-esteem is at an all-time low, just when I have a great (potential) opportunity in front of me. If it pans out, it would be *great* for my career... I feel very "meh" about it. How can I have a more healthy approach this opportunity? Is there another way to look at it?
It feels overwhelming.
1. You don't have to make any decisions at all until they offer you a job, which may never happen. So try to spend so much energy pre-worrying about this.
2. Tell EVERYBODY at work that you don't want to talk about it any more. If helps you can say that you know it is a competitive posting and you don't want to get your hopes up to much so it would really, really help your mental well-being to just not talk about it until there is something to talk about. This is a reasonable request!!
3. Your director is not on the panel. You have not idea if her feedback about interview questions is even on target. After you get her to stop talking about it, try to not worry about it too much. When you get the invitation to interview, then you decide how much energy you want to put into being the perfect candidate vs. just showing up and being yourself. If you decide to just be yourself and you don't get the job then you won't have to worry about taking it.
4. It is already October. By the time they interview and make an offer and if they give you the offer, you can ask for a delayed start date. Or it might already be January and you won't even need much of a delay.
5. If you get the offer and your heart tells you not to take it, you don't have to. Other people might not understand that decision but you don't their approval to decide how you want to spend your own life.
TLDR; There is no decision to be made today. Tell your co-workers to leave it alone. Stop worrying about it until you actually get an offer and then you post here for help in deciding, if you still don't know.
posted by metahawk at 5:56 PM on October 21, 2020 [9 favorites]
2. Tell EVERYBODY at work that you don't want to talk about it any more. If helps you can say that you know it is a competitive posting and you don't want to get your hopes up to much so it would really, really help your mental well-being to just not talk about it until there is something to talk about. This is a reasonable request!!
3. Your director is not on the panel. You have not idea if her feedback about interview questions is even on target. After you get her to stop talking about it, try to not worry about it too much. When you get the invitation to interview, then you decide how much energy you want to put into being the perfect candidate vs. just showing up and being yourself. If you decide to just be yourself and you don't get the job then you won't have to worry about taking it.
4. It is already October. By the time they interview and make an offer and if they give you the offer, you can ask for a delayed start date. Or it might already be January and you won't even need much of a delay.
5. If you get the offer and your heart tells you not to take it, you don't have to. Other people might not understand that decision but you don't their approval to decide how you want to spend your own life.
TLDR; There is no decision to be made today. Tell your co-workers to leave it alone. Stop worrying about it until you actually get an offer and then you post here for help in deciding, if you still don't know.
posted by metahawk at 5:56 PM on October 21, 2020 [9 favorites]
I mean, there are a lot of steps between where you are and a job offer. They might not have even started reviewing applications yet! You don’t need to decide whether to feel “meh” or “yay!” about it until you have more information (interview, job offer). It’s normal to feel anxious and overwhelmed when thinking about career moves (at least for me), and even to try and talk yourself out of things lest you get excited and then get disappointed.
Can you try to just take each stage as it comes, and try not to either catastrophize or idealize possible outcomes? Like prepare, but don’t get too attached to outcomes? My therapist has helped me a lot with this, it’s hard.
And, I know it might not be possible now, but I would try to prioritize getting experience as a member of a hiring committee as soon as possible. I think being able to see the hiring process from the other side would be informative, and particularly helpful for you to see how job descriptions are crafted (what they say vs what they mean) and how applicants are evaluated, interviewed, selected, and hired. It’s knowledge that will help you the rest of your career, maybe even more than supervisory experience in some cases.
posted by stellaluna at 5:57 PM on October 21, 2020 [3 favorites]
Can you try to just take each stage as it comes, and try not to either catastrophize or idealize possible outcomes? Like prepare, but don’t get too attached to outcomes? My therapist has helped me a lot with this, it’s hard.
And, I know it might not be possible now, but I would try to prioritize getting experience as a member of a hiring committee as soon as possible. I think being able to see the hiring process from the other side would be informative, and particularly helpful for you to see how job descriptions are crafted (what they say vs what they mean) and how applicants are evaluated, interviewed, selected, and hired. It’s knowledge that will help you the rest of your career, maybe even more than supervisory experience in some cases.
posted by stellaluna at 5:57 PM on October 21, 2020 [3 favorites]
Yeah, right now you have no idea if this is actually going to be a thing in your life or a nothingburger, and it's not under your control. Don't start worrying about moving or not getting a break from working unless you actually get the job offer.
Tell everyone at work, "If you have to ask, there's no news. I will let you know if there's news. We can prep me for interview questions if I get the interview. Until then, it's just kind of painful to be reminded of something that's not in the bag yet."
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:48 PM on October 21, 2020
Tell everyone at work, "If you have to ask, there's no news. I will let you know if there's news. We can prep me for interview questions if I get the interview. Until then, it's just kind of painful to be reminded of something that's not in the bag yet."
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:48 PM on October 21, 2020
Listen, there's no need to even worry about any of this until (unless) they contact you for an interview. Just try to distract yourself as much as possible until then. Politely request that your coworkers stop talking to you about the job.
posted by mekily at 6:58 PM on October 21, 2020
posted by mekily at 6:58 PM on October 21, 2020
There was a CEO who once said "if I had only applied for jobs I was qualified for, I would still be sweeping floors"
I have taken that very much to heart and believe me, my career has not suffered because of it.
But also, you need to take a breath. You dont even have an interview scheduled yet! If you're concerned about it, ask your manager to schedule some mock interviews and give you feedback and shut down any further discussion of the position outside of that time.
posted by ananci at 10:28 PM on October 21, 2020 [1 favorite]
I have taken that very much to heart and believe me, my career has not suffered because of it.
But also, you need to take a breath. You dont even have an interview scheduled yet! If you're concerned about it, ask your manager to schedule some mock interviews and give you feedback and shut down any further discussion of the position outside of that time.
posted by ananci at 10:28 PM on October 21, 2020 [1 favorite]
So it sounds like you're in a position where both outcomes - you get the job or you don't get the job - are okay. Everything's okay. Maybe not the most optimal of all possible worlds, but genuinely okay. That's a nice place to be. You're stressing about the interview, which is something you can work on with practice and maybe with your therapist. And you're caught in the optimization trap - seeing all the ways in which a given outcome is not perfect and stressing about that. Maybe that's also something you can work on in therapy.
Anyway, for now you could ask your boss/coworkers to take it a little easy on the job talk. Then focus on putting in a good interview that you feel good about. That's all you need to do right now. Maybe you'll get the job, maybe you won't but will still leave a good impression. Regardless, worrying about outcomes or whatever is premature. Don't borrow worries.
posted by trig at 2:42 AM on October 22, 2020 [4 favorites]
Anyway, for now you could ask your boss/coworkers to take it a little easy on the job talk. Then focus on putting in a good interview that you feel good about. That's all you need to do right now. Maybe you'll get the job, maybe you won't but will still leave a good impression. Regardless, worrying about outcomes or whatever is premature. Don't borrow worries.
posted by trig at 2:42 AM on October 22, 2020 [4 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by oceanjesse at 5:31 PM on October 21, 2020 [12 favorites]