What Is the Salary For a Houseman/Caretaker

September 3, 2020 9:39 AM

I have been offered the opportunity to be a live-in houseman/caretaker. The position includes room and board. After the honeymoon period to see how well we we get along, we will talk about salary.

The man I will be working for will turn 87 this weekend. He is a single, gay man who was a successful businessman who still has a very good income coming in from 3-4 properties he owns in West Hollywood and the Hollywood Hills.

I will be performing general duties, shopping, banking, etc

I am unsure about what salary to ask for. Someone suggested that I calculate my monthly expenses and use that as a spring board. The past 3-4 years my expenses have been super low. I want to know/give him a number that is commensurate to the position and his status.

posted by goalyeehah to Work & Money (15 answers total)

I’d go the other way and base it on a decent hourly rate. Don’t forget to include times you’re not actively working but are expected to be on call.
posted by supercres at 9:52 AM on September 3, 2020 [9 favorites]

I don't think you should only go by what your personal expenses are, I think you should go by what is fair. Do you have any formalized skill set (for example, basic nursing or occupational therapy skills)? Do you have any prior experience in this line of work? Will you get any other benefits in addition to room and board? Work hours, time off/vacation, holidays, sick days and the policy around taking sick days, are also important to consider in addition to salary. Will you get or do you already have any other source of health/vision/dental insurance? Will you be using your own vehicle and paying for your own gas to run errands for this man, or will this be included as a job expense? What about if/when the man you'll be working for has a health emergency and is in the hospital? What responsibilities might that entail? All questions to consider.
posted by gemutlichkeit at 9:53 AM on September 3, 2020 [13 favorites]

Never peg salary negotiations to your expenses. The right salary to ask for is related to the value of the work you can do, how much competition there is for this role and how easily you could be replaced with someone who can do the job the same or better. If you have prior experience in admin or household staff roles for high net worth people with high expectations, that is extremely valuable and you should ask for an appropriately high amount in the upper end of the range for your area. Approach this by doing research on what similar personal assistant and household staff roles are paid in your area for high net worth households, and pin your ask to that. Do not undersell yourself because your expenses are low; this guy can afford plenty and has no reason to be cheap at this point in his life.

Also be sure to iron out the tax situation for this arrangement when you ask; if you will be responsible for paying taxes yourself and he won't be deducting them for you like ordinary payroll tax, make sure you ask for enough and account for the % you will have to set aside. Make sure you know the law that applies to you in your area for this going into this conversation and walk away if he proposes anything that involves you getting paid under the table.
posted by slow graffiti at 9:58 AM on September 3, 2020 [9 favorites]

here is a starting point for research but this will vary widely depending on duties, and since your role doesn't involve caring for children or dealing with any family logistics, it might be off, but still better than no data
https://www.indeed.com/salaries/household-manager-Salaries,-California
posted by slow graffiti at 10:06 AM on September 3, 2020 [4 favorites]

After the honeymoon period to see how well we we get along, we will talk about salary.

And what will you get for the work you do during the honeymoon period if you don't get along and decide to part ways? At least negotiate that part before you move in with this guy.
posted by Hypatia at 10:11 AM on September 3, 2020 [25 favorites]

Unless you're maintaining your current residence during the honeymoon period, it seems wise to do the steps in the reverse order--come to (at least general) agreements on duties and salary before you move in and begin doing the work. Once you've already moved in, you're at a disadvantage if it turns out that you have a fundamental disagreement on the details, as you can't just walk away.
posted by yuwtze at 10:12 AM on September 3, 2020 [15 favorites]

Call up a service agency that offers this kind of service and find out what they'd charge. Base your answer on that knowing your business expenses will be lower. Keeping in mind that you may want to retain some liability insurance and definitely pay for your own health insurance.
posted by seanmpuckett at 10:52 AM on September 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

I am not your tax person but it's really worth figuring out whether room and board will be strictly-legally provided in which case you may get taxed on them. And also if you will be paid as a contractor or a regular employee (higher rate for contractor $$ because you pay your own taxes). And then I'd think about what your time commitment is generally. Two hours a day? Five? Eight? and then go from there, specifically adding "on call" time to time you are nominally working, though perhaps at a lower rate. I have done live-in caretaking jobs--though caring for a building and not a person--and my salary was pretty small but the value of not paying rent where I lived was a pretty big deal.
posted by jessamyn at 10:59 AM on September 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

The value of room is offset by a general requirement that you be present. How much will you be expected to be present, and with what stipulations? Will you be able to bring someone home overnight, have family visit, that sort of thing? This is definitely affected by Covid; his age puts him at risk, and he has a valid expectation that risk be carefully managed.

The value of board is offset if you are expected to shop, cook and share meals. It's not clear if you are expected to be a companion. Companion should maybe be defined, as it's part of being present. Things like morning checkin, making coffee, possibly meal planning. At 87, having someone verify signs of life daily might be hard to discuss, but it's a thing they do in Independent Living, and is important.

Shopping likely includes inventory of groceries, making sure his car has gas, maybe dropoff/pickup laundry, dry cleaning. I have been a housekeeper/ governess, many years ago, to children whose Mom had died. I got room, board, salary, and cooked all meals, cared for the kids, basically rent-a-Mom. Salary was slightly less than min. wage at the time. Will you be free to take a work-from-home position? Will you participate in working with tenants, collecting rent - kind of a nuisance, collecting late rent - a wretched chore, evictions - potentially dangerous. I've been a small-time landlady, it's a task that should be paid fairly. Property managers get a percent of rent.

I would definitely get a baseline of weekly hours worked, and think about how you feel about whatever any restrictions might be. Discuss what will happen if he comes to need personal care; that could easily happen. Could be a nifty gig, but define boundaries. and assume they will need clarification as time passes.
posted by theora55 at 11:48 AM on September 3, 2020 [4 favorites]

To pick a number, I would do this for NO LESS THAN $35,000 in NYC. I think $45,000 is fair.
posted by 8603 at 12:25 PM on September 3, 2020

1. Do NOT move in until you have the salary and everything else nailed down. Keep your current apartment/home, pack a couple of bags like you're going on vacation for two weeks (or whatever), and charge a slightly higher rate during this honeymoon period to account for the fact that he isn't providing room and board yet.

2. Will you be working "under the table" or will you be an employee/contractor working on the books? What are the tax implications to you of the specific form of employment that you will be entering into with him?

3. How are you accounting for the benefits that would come with a "regular" job (health insurance, retirement contributions, paid time off, training, career growth)? Make sure your asking rate includes these costs.

4. Are the hours fixed or flexible? Is there a minimum number of hours he will pay you for regardless of what his needs are in a particular week (e.g. he goes on vacation)? What about the length of your working day, your off hours, your weekends/weekly days off, your sick leave, your vacation, your overtime? Is he going to expect that your "on-call" hours are treated differently from when he considers you to be "actually working"? What happens if your second job conflicts with his needs?

5. Will you have another job to support yourself or is this your entire income? What are the risks of depending on possibly variable hours for your entire income, and what are the opportunity costs of all the jobs you cannot take because you are working a few key hours every day for him? Build the cost of all possible types of risk and these opportunity costs into your hourly rate.

6. Protect yourself by signing a rental agreement renting the room you will be staying in at his place for a nominal cost like $100 a month or whatever. You can build that $100 a month into your salary or the rate you quote him, it won't be that big a deal. Worst case scenario, if something happens where he doesn't keep up his end of the informal deal, at least you will not be suddenly homeless, you can still pay $100 a month and keep living there for as long as the lease goes, and you will have the rights that any tenant has.

7. I think it's fine to base your asking rate on your own expenses, but (a) make sure you are counting ALL your expenses (self-employment taxes as a contractor, tax filing expenses from having to file 4x a year, health insurance, retirement savings, career growth, risk, opportunity costs, vacation time, sick time, weekends & 8 hour workdays which may disappear from being on-call all the time, respite care if his needs increase exponentially, etc.) and (b) don't tell him what your needs are, you don't have to be transparent about your process of how you arrived at the number.
posted by MiraK at 12:57 PM on September 3, 2020 [4 favorites]

After the honeymoon period to see how well we we get along, we will talk about salary.

This sounds to me like you will be working only for room and board during this "honeymoon period" (do you know how long it will last? Do you have this in writing?), at which point you will have very little room to negotiate. He can pay you during the honeymoon period (I'm guessing it was his suggestion not to?). Then he can fire you if it's not working out. Don't work for free, or only room and board. No way.
posted by bluedaisy at 4:51 PM on September 3, 2020

I would not expect this kind of role to pay more than $15-20 an hour on top of room and board, assuming local rent is $1000+ for a bedroom and board is likely several hundred dollars a month on top of that.
posted by amaire at 9:55 PM on September 3, 2020

Do you know this person through a personal relationship, or was this a job posting? Because I'd be extremely hesitant to move in with a vulnerable elderly person who was sharing his financial status so openly, for your own safety as well as his. Are there other people who were let go after the "honeymoon period" and might come back seeking money or a place to live?

The safest way to handle live-in care is to hire from a bonded agency, ideally from a recommendation. In Los Angeles, trusted caregivers are "inherited" by friends and extended family when their charge dies. And a bonded in-home care agency could give you an idea of what the rates run, if you called asking for a quote.
posted by Scram at 2:03 PM on September 6, 2020

You live in a place where many people make a living as personal assistants, which sounds close to your duties as you describe them, e.g., no health care responsibilities. Try perusing those job postings to get an idea of what's fair.
posted by carmicha at 11:19 PM on September 6, 2020