Stuck between two potential homes

August 2, 2020 10:15 AM

My subleasing situation is almost over. I've gotten whiplash (tongue in cheek) from the main tenant, and I found a really nice place in Maryland, so I'm a bit torn in-between. Negotiation questions inside.

I subleased a 2b/2br apartment for the summer, with the sublease set to end at the end of this month. I talked with the tenant I was subleasing for, and she said someone else had taken the other bedroom. When the other roommate came last weekend to pick up some stuff from her (mostly) vacant bedroom, as per some advice, I simply told her that if the person taking her spot dropped out, I'd still be interested. She told me that the person backed out, which was unexpected. I talked with the tenant I was taking over for, and we had a good conversation. She admitted she preferred a female roommate, and was talking with someone else about taking over the spot, BUT if that person dropped out, she'd be willing to let me take the spot. I explained I identified as queer, am clean/respectful, etc. She said that made her feel better, and I clarified that the other room would be $1200 (plus utilities). That was all last week. Then, yesterday, she let me know the other person dropped out as well, and that the bedroom was actually $1100 (plus utilities).

I feel so confused. Here's why. When the tenant (a college graduate student) initially told me the spot was taken, I came in touch with a very nice Deaf couple (acquaintances of mine, they work stable jobs) who were renting their master bedroom (with my own bathroom) in a very nice home for $1500, but said it'd be negotiable, as they envisioned that price for a couple. I went to their home for a tour, and LOVED the master bedroom and kitchen. It was a very nice home, even nicer than my already-very-nice apartment. A few wrinkles, though.

Current home: $1100+utilities

Pros:
Very convenient, right next to the train (literally a 3 minute or less walk)
Easy to commute to work (20-25 minutes total including walks)
One train stop to a grocery store
No moving hassles
Pool/gym included as amenities
Smoke-free environment
Own bathroom
Retail/restaurants right outside the apartment (mixed-use space)

Cons:
A bit confusing so far with the tenant/future roommate
Noticed by an envelope that Comcast seems past due... triggers with a former bad roommate who didn't pay bills on time
Tenant/roommate is hearing (not in itself a bad thing, just that she might not feel 100% comfortable with me)

Deaf house: $1500, INCLUDING utilities (BUT negotiable)
Pros:
Deaf house, easy to communicate
Corner master bedroom
Own bathroom
Beautiful, green spaces right outside the house
Kitchen with gourmet appliances, water/ice dispenser
Met a resident there, he seems very nice
Very safe area, modern and almost brand-new house

Cons:
Unknown 3rd roommate (they're searching for another bedroom as well, this bedroom would use a shared bathroom); no idea who that would be or how we'd get along
A bit far (30-35 minute train ride, plus 7-8 minute walk from the train to the house)
No grocery stores or other restaurants in the area
More expensive

As you can see, I'm a bit stuck. I really do like where I'm at now, but the way my tenant has handled the post-August stuff has been a bit uncertain, and confusing, and I'm a bit concerned because being added to the lease officially is Serious. Stuff. She mentioned how important it is to pay bills on time, but Comcast is past due, and if rent is past due, that could impact my credit, too. But the likelihood of that should be low.

I was originally leaning towards the Deaf house, but her saying $1100 yesterday (vs. $1200) threw me a loop, because that'd really save me money, and I'd still have my own bathroom, laundry, etc., not to mention how convenient it is in terms of commute (although it's all work from home lately, anyway).

A friend suggested I try to negotiate down the $1500 to maybe $1200 with the Deaf house, explaining I have another offer for that amount (essentially it'd be ~$1200 with utilities, etc. here anyway), but I'm not sure. I really liked the house and really liked the vibe big time, but there are some negatives, too. I'm driving myself crazy with the decision making. I guess I don't want to lose both opportunities, and this apartment community (where I currently am at) was my dream apartment for a while, too.

Should I try and negotiate the Deaf house that low, or does $1300-1350 seem more reasonable? From your perspective (and no, not asking for you to make the decision for me), would staying put where I am make more sense? Sometimes asking for outside perspectives do help.

Thanks!

posted by dubious_dude to Home & Garden (11 answers total)

I would stay where you are. Moving is a disgusting awful hassle under normal circumstances (which I’m sure I don’t have to tell you), and even worse now where it means you’d have to deal with a group of strangers in a moving team who have been going in and out of other people’s homes. During Covid time, that’s something I’d go a long way to avoid. And an unknown third roommate is a *huge* variable; if that person turns out to be a problem, it might make your life miserable. Also, a difference of $400 is major, and even assuming you can negotiate the couple down to $1200, $100 a month is real money.

The Comcast bill seems trivial to me. I have very good credit, and I occasionally forget the pay to cable bill from time to time and I get a reminder. Considering what’s going on in the world, and considering the fact that this is a time when people have been moving out and changing their minds about moving in and so on, I’d barely give that a second thought.

I’m hearing, not deaf, so I can’t speak to that part, but if you’re fine with that, I think you should stay where you are.
posted by holborne at 10:51 AM on August 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

Think back to the last time you had a shared bathroom. That's a big source of potential friction.
posted by dum spiro spero at 11:31 AM on August 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: Not to threadsit, but just to clarify, both places I’ll have my own bathroom. So that’s not the issue.

Also, forgot to add in my OP, the Deaf house will be completely furnished, so all I’ll need to bring is my clothes and special possessions, so moving will be simple.
posted by dubious_dude at 11:48 AM on August 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

There's a little trick for when you have a difficult decision: make the decision one way in your head, and live a few days as if that's your decision- how do you feel? That should tell you a lot.

Also tune into your gut instincts- besides on paper, what feelings come up for you when you think of living in either place? (similar to the above exercise)

On paper, it seems that to stay where you are is better. However, some decision aren't strictly made "on paper." It seems like living with the deaf couple really strikes a chord with you- maybe there certain types of interactions in your life that are missing, or maybe you'd really value a relationship with this couple.

I don't have an answer, but I think you have two good options and will be able to decide if you kind of meditate on it and look within yourself (to use a cliche).

Good luck!
posted by bearette at 11:55 AM on August 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

In terms of negotiating on the room in a house, I would calculate what your utilities are in your current apartment +$1100 and start from there. The furnishings are worth something too, since you’re not having to pay movers/buy furniture; price out what that would look like and divide by 12.
posted by nancynickerson at 12:28 PM on August 2, 2020

I would pick the one that I feel comfortable with in terms of if things hit the fan so to speak. Because of COVID, I would mostly be concerned if anyone I'm living with might potentially lose their job, if I have to come up with the rest of the rent money. Or if there is a possiblity I would be evicted or kicked out in any way.

The furnished part seems nice as well as the communication aspect. The third roommate I would be wary of. I am not sure if they would go down to 1100 but saying that you have another offer may not go down in your favor. They might not be compelled to lower the price simply because of that.

Day to day living is pretty important to me in terms of mental health and wellbeing and if you are working from home, I would consider how that might impact your working/living life. It seems the first option might be better for you in terms of finances on face value, but maybe the second option has more of a total package in the long run. Good luck.
posted by VyanSelei at 12:39 PM on August 2, 2020

Your time is not free. Doubling your commute and as yet to be determined time and cost to get to a shop or other amenities is not to be ignored. The house is not only potentially a lot more expensive, it is also a lot less convenient and nice kitchen appliances would not be enough compensation for that for me.

Other than the fact that two different people gave you conflicting information about the room in your current situation has the person you’d be sharing with been easy to communicate with? Have you asked what’s up with the bill? Discussing how you’ll approach costs and bill paying should be happening before your name is on the lease and that would be an excellent time to ask about the bill. If it is an oversight that should be a non issue. And if there are other good reasons that should also be a positive exchange. If it is not possible to have a pleasant conversation that would be concerning.
posted by koahiatamadl at 1:09 PM on August 2, 2020

The "unknown tenant" is a draw because you will have the same situation in your current apartment. IIRC, you've not actually lived with the woman from whom you are subleasing and she admitted she preferred a female roommate. And the couple at the new place might actually prefer a single person vs a couple (twice the utility load) in the master which is why the rent is negotiable.

The commute time is roughly 10-15 minutes longer when work from home is lifted but until then it seems the new place, a house, would have much more indoor living space as well as outdoor space. How often do you use the pool and gym at your current apartment?

I think the biggest drawback is the lack of shops nearby. Is there public transport? or how do you plan on going grocery shopping? Also it sounds like someone in the new place smokes?
posted by TWinbrook8 at 1:56 PM on August 2, 2020

Response by poster: Thanks for the very helpful answers so far! To answer some of your questions: yes, the Deaf house has public transportation; it's a 7-8 minute walk to/from the train station, so not bad at all. It'd be about 4-6 stops to the nearest grocery store, transit-wise, but that's not really bad at all, either. And I was told that the roommate living currently at the deaf house does smoke (not cigs, I think?) but does it in the garage so the smell won't enter the house. It does seem like the owners are communicative and would take care of any issues that pop up. And yes, I haven't lived WITH the current tenant at all — only subleased her room. We met briefly in person to sign the sublease agreement and hand over keys, etc.

As for the "biggest risk" situation, that'd definitely be here at the current apartment. If the tenant I end up rooming with bails or ends up not paying rent, then it'd be on me (as both of us would be listed on the lease as tenants), and it'd be a mess. While, the deaf house gives me the impression that as long as I pay my share of the rent/bundled utilities, it'd be fine and if another roommate bails, it's not my problem. Of course, I'd need to review their lease first.

I've asked for a second tour of the deaf house, and let the current apartment tenant know I have another tour and would update her. She said she's searching as well and trying to find interested people; whoever commits first.

Question: How should I frame/negotiate the rent with the Deaf house, should I decide to take that route? Based on your experiences as either a resident or landlord, would you say going down from $1500 to $1200 is reasonable, or would it be more likely to be $1300^? What words should I use; how should I frame it? I got the impression that no matter what, utilities would be included. It also might help that the owners and I are acquaintances, and that it's a private landlord, not corporate-owned.
posted by dubious_dude at 4:34 PM on August 2, 2020

I think negotiating should be pretty easy since they’re acquaintances and already let you know they’re open to it! I would just say that you’re very interested but were hoping to to pay less than the $1500 and ask what they would be willing to offer since it’s just you.

Saves you from having to deal with what to offer; if you do want to make an offer rather than ask them what their lower limit is, take a look on Craigslist or whenever folks list rooms for rent in your area and see what similar ones are going for.
posted by nancynickerson at 11:56 PM on August 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

It'd be about 4-6 stops to the nearest grocery store, transit-wise, but that's not really bad at all, either.

Under normal circumstances, I'd agree with you that that's not bad.

In the midst of a pandemic, though? As a non-driver I'm extremely glad to be living within walking distance of the shops right now.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 4:03 AM on August 3, 2020 [1 favorite]