sharp and pointy (metaphorically speaking) masks

July 3, 2020 8:54 PM

Now that the mask order is in place in SF, I'm back at work. I've been using the blue/white disposables because that's what I have- but I'm noticing... a certain "aw you" tendency from some of our older male customers, because I am currently presenting as femme-ish at work. I was called the other day a "good girl" by a customer as if I am a prized trained poodle. I wanted to rip his throat out. In normal times I would do the thing where I smile with every last one of my teeth which is quite effective. We're all wearing masks now. I would like to buy washable, breathable face masks with a nose wire; printed with fangs or teeth, in order to add a bit of an edge to my work clothes.

I am known at work for 50's style hair bandanas, quirky and/or rainbow print earrings and quirky or rainbow glasses frames. But since we wear uniforms I can't wear my more tough clothes. I'm not willing to change my style- it's a great comfort to me for a whole host of reasons. 80% of my customers are dolls, and the kids who come in love to compliment my earings/glasses/etc. But some dudes are gonna dude. My complete lack of makeup and general facial expression/booming voice is enough in normal times to discourage the exact sort of older male patronizing that makes me see red. The covering of my face is now blocking my magic bitch powers that stops 90% of our worst customers from being 100% the worst. (some folks are just the absolute worst and nothing can stop them- I'd just like another layer of protection against the minor jerks that can really ruin your day.) So- I would like masks printed with teeth. I cannot wear anything obscene at work- so no "fuck you" masks or "fuck the patriarchy" style masks. Just teeth. As many different styles/colors/teeth types as possible, so I can rotate them out. If anyone has any ideas for something in a similar non-obscene but pointy projecting vein I would consider it- but teeth teeth teeth teeth teeth. Thank you metafilter- you're my only hope.

PS: rainbows are like my whole thing- so if one of these masks were rainbow teeth... It would really really work.

posted by Homo neanderthalensis to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (17 answers total)

Etsy has a few rainbow teeth masks, although it looks like they may not be the most protective kind of cloth. However, they might be suitable for adding a lining to or wearing as a cover over your disposable. If you take "rainbow" out of the search they also have a larger variety of masks with teeth.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 9:40 PM on July 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

I've gotten some very specific masks from Teepublic.

"Rainbow teeth" search results look like this, and then there's just "teeth."

They don't have nose wire, though.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:41 PM on July 3, 2020

https://malicious.fashionstore.jp/2 has some but they'd be coming from japan.
posted by aniola at 9:45 PM on July 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

Be sure to search under "fangs" too.
posted by tipsyBumblebee at 9:58 PM on July 3, 2020

Response by poster: So I wear glasses and MUST have the nose wire- just for future results. Also more looking for places/buyers you yourselves have bought from and therefore have some idea if it's decent quality or not. But these are great, and I'll step away from the keyboard.
Oh and to EDIT: I have NO sewing skills like what-so-ever. Like... negative skills. Holding a needle is just an exercise in poking myself. So anything that's almost good- i'd just have to sew this one thing- Is no good.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 10:00 PM on July 3, 2020

It would be super simple to have the local drycleaners install the nose wire for you. If you ask around perhaps a neighbor or coworker can do this too. (I would do it for you if you were in the Seattle area).
posted by tipsyBumblebee at 10:17 PM on July 3, 2020

How about this toothy one from Threadless? The premium masks (of which this is one) have a nose wire, as I understand it.
posted by nightrecordings at 10:33 PM on July 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

Oh here we go: rainbow fangs (premium mask with nose wire from Threadless)
posted by nightrecordings at 10:37 PM on July 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

I wear glasses, need a nose wire, the pleated cloth masks I'm getting don't have them. They do however have narrow folded trim all around the mask. I make a tiny cut on the outside of the trim with a pair of nail clippers about 1.5 inches from the centre of the mask and then just push a piece of 14 guage electrical wire in though the slit. A paper clip would work too. I guess after a lot of washing the slit might get a little frayed? No problems other wise so far. So if you can find masks that are otherwise suitable that might be a no sewing option.
posted by Mitheral at 10:41 PM on July 3, 2020 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: So in case I was not clear- no wire? Not interested. Also not interested in work arounds. Assume no dry-cleaners or kindly Co-worker. Thanks- leaving again.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 11:04 PM on July 3, 2020 [5 favorites]

The ones I’m using are from Canada, so may take awhile to ship. They do have wire and pockets for filters. I have no link-fu, so: chronicinktattoo.com
If you want to see them in pics, memail me.
posted by whowearsthepants at 5:59 AM on July 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

Mod note: Couple deleted; sorry, OP really just wants links for pre-made masks that already meet their conditions.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 9:14 AM on July 4, 2020 [5 favorites]

MeTa for mask shopping
posted by theora55 at 10:34 AM on July 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

Monster mask
Made by the daughter of a friend. She also has "bitch" ones that may not be SFW.
posted by gingerbeer at 4:19 PM on July 4, 2020 [2 favorites]

I just got an email today from the San Diego Zoo Shop- they have a bunch of animal masks (with nose wires) and this one has teeth.
posted by acanthous at 6:52 PM on July 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

100% Cotton Face Mask With Nose Wire, choose from two styles and many fun fabrics! (Creative Mask Designs, Etsy, skulls with teeth)

Cotton Surgical Style Face Mask with Filter Pocket and Nose Wire - "Black Skulls" (JohnsonFamilyMasks, Etsy, rainbow skulls with teeth)

Dinosaur Face Masks with Filter Pocket and Wire Nose Bridge (DreamsIntoSeams, Etsy, with teeth and GRRR)

Nightmare Before Christmas Adult Face Mask with Nose Wire (CreativeBoutique11, Etsy, has teeth)

Reusable cotton face mask, includes filter pocket, wire nose bridge (SoaringGraceShop, Etsy, skull and crossbones, with teeth holding a knife)

Adult Cloth Face Mask With Adjustable Nose Wire (AnchoredOriginals, Etsy, bees, which do 'bite')
posted by katra at 10:36 PM on July 4, 2020

When a deaf man couldn’t read others’ lips, he created a better mask (WaPo)

His wife and stepson recently designed a website to streamline the ordering process. Travers, a stay-at-home dad, now spends most of his day sewing. He purchased a sewing book and learned about seams, thread and backstitching. He can make one of his window masks in about five minutes. When people buy his masks, they sometimes include a comment that explains why they need one or how it will help in their everyday life. [...] Some schools have purchased window masks because they want students to see teachers’ facial expressions and watch their lips move. One Publix store employee wanted to wear one so customers could see her smile. Impressed by that gesture, Travers wrote a letter to her manager, which was shared widely on social media. Others who work for the grocery store chain followed suit — so many that Travers has a green mask on his website designed for Publix employees.

posted by katra at 8:48 PM on July 17, 2020