How can I talk to her about Climate Change?

June 22, 2020 5:42 PM

My friend's daughter (early 20's) has talked about possible catastrophe, a genuine apocalypse in their lifetime from climate Change. While talking (to my limited knowledge) about the real dangers we are facing, I realize that she is anxious right now from Covid quarantine, and the coming election. How can I talk to her about this?
posted by ebesan to Health & Fitness (15 answers total)

Just listen and make sure she feels validated. Offer gentle redirection if it's clear she's catastrophizing or being irrational, but don't push it, and don't talk to her about it unless she clearly wants to talk.

Sometimes a caring, listening ear is all people need.
posted by Amy93 at 5:46 PM on June 22, 2020 [2 favorites]

I think it's pretty rational to be freaked out about climate change—it's a genuine emergency and I think if more people understood that, they would be responding differently. But it's important that those who are most concerned aren't paralyzed by fear. We can transition to a zero-carbon economy and dramatically limit the damage, but we need to be able to act now. I would help her focus on figuring out how to help that happen, rather than focusing on the potential consequences of inaction.
posted by pinochiette at 5:56 PM on June 22, 2020 [16 favorites]

I have a sticker that says: Action Cures Fear. Try inspiring her to get involved in a way that feels particularly productive. Most of us have been immobile for months now, and the lack of progress or movement can create anxiety. Find out what is the most important (to her) part of the climate crisis we are facing, and help her find ways to take action.
posted by MountainDaisy at 6:00 PM on June 22, 2020 [4 favorites]

I'm in my early 30s and worry about the same things as your daughter. I don't think it's a totally irrational fear, unfortunately. It might be helpful for you to read some articles that offer a more hopeful perspective, or ideas about how she (and you) could take action, so you can share those ideas with her. (Older folks telling me I'm overreacting to the threat of climate change, on the other hand, has never been useful -- I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but as an FYI.)
posted by goodbyewaffles at 6:01 PM on June 22, 2020 [17 favorites]

THE LEAP (theleap.org) is an information-oriented environmental media project with an emphasis on forward-thinking possible solutions to the big problems..
posted by ovvl at 7:23 PM on June 22, 2020

From the way you frame this question, it sounds like you believe that she is unreasonably anxious about climate change because of anxiety around COVID-19 and the election. She's not. There's real reasons to be anxious. The situation is dire, and people are not paying attention due to COVID-19.

The US government has used COVID as a cover to weaken environmental regulations. So have Brazil and some Canadian provinces. Australia is fast-tracking a coal mine as a COVID-19 economic recovery measure. And that's just for starters.

I do a lot of research on this topic as part of my volunteer work and some days it is honestly hard to get out of bed because the situation is unbelievably dire. Based on all the latest research, your friend's daughter isn't wrong about climate change, because it's unlikely we will see temperature increases of less than 3C this century. We've exceeded several planetary boundaries and if we don't do something very fast we will reach the point of no return, where nothing we do can stop runaway global warming.

If your question is instead, "how do I help her cope with this anxiety around climate change?" then as people have said above, getting involved is a great way to allay anxiety, because you are working for change. I see that a lot of your questions are New York based. If she's in NYC or nearby, Extinction Rebellion is very active there. Other groups people have listed are great too. A lot of environmental groups have been as disrupted by COVID-19 as anyone else, but they are finding new ways to campaign in this new world.
posted by rednikki at 8:30 PM on June 22, 2020 [12 favorites]

Assuming she wants your help (you don't say), you might find it useful to read these before you try:

1. The Uninhabitable Earth (There's bad news and there's really bad news. She's absolutely right to be worried. You should make sure you understand this yourself if you want to help her.)
2. 'Climate Despair' Is Making People Give Up on Life (People are reacting as you'd expect, given 1, but maybe she'll find comfort in knowing she's not the only person who feels that way.)
3. How to Stop Freaking Out and Tackle Climate Change (Good, managable advice you can pass on if she seems like she wants advice.)

posted by caek at 9:51 PM on June 22, 2020 [1 favorite]

Why do you feel the need to cast this young woman as anxious and with poor judgement for stating facts? she says climate change is going to impact her and you say "oh, you are jsut anxious over quarantine". But she is absolutely correct- there will be a catastrophe in her lifetime if nothing changes. Maybe even if it does. I think maybe your feelings are more about you not wanting to admit this is happening than her.

I personally think that a lot of the rise in nationalism and what you could call tribalism is down to people knowing that conflict and scarcity are coming, even if they won't admit it is.
posted by fshgrl at 1:52 AM on June 23, 2020 [4 favorites]

I am reading this question differently I guess. Nowhere in the ask does the OP say that her friend's daughter is "just" anxious. OP has simply observed anxiety in this young woman and wants to talk to her about it. There is also nothing about the OP saying that they don't believe this young woman, just that they want to talk to her about the things that are occupying her mind.

OP, I would find a time to reach out to your friend's daughter via email or phone and say, hey, you have a lot on your mind. I am still learning more about the climate crisis. You know more than I do. Want to talk about it? Then see if she wants to keep going. You could then gently probe a little more and say something to the effect of, "Man, this all feels even more intense given that we're in the throes of quarantine AND an election year," and see what she offers up in response. If it were me you were talking to, I'd want to feel heard, and maybe invited to keep discussing what's going on over time.

Thank you for asking this question. I hope this helps.
posted by Kitchen Witch at 3:24 AM on June 23, 2020 [1 favorite]

I mean, OP, to help us help you, which of the following is your goal:

1. To learn and understand
2. To listen and soothe
3. To convince her that a climate related apocalypse is not nigh
4. Some or none of the above
posted by Kitchen Witch at 4:29 AM on June 23, 2020 [1 favorite]

While we try, probably too late, to correct course through political action and personal choices we can also try to prepare for the disasters that now seem inevitable. Can she someday move to a place that will remain habitable for longer? Can she learn skills that will help during social upheavals? I am thinking of providing for basic needs like food, clothing, shelter and first aid/medicine but also studying soil science, ecology, meteorology, hydrology or plant genetics and breeding. I think we need to work on adaptation in addition to trying to stop the emissions because no matter how well we do the latter there will be and already are consequences. Learning new skills can also give her confidence that she can face these consequences.
posted by Botanizer at 4:39 AM on June 23, 2020

hey! i'm also a woman in my early 20s who went through a period of VERY INTENSE climate anxiety instigated by many of the things being recommended here - david wallace wells, involvement in extinction rebellion - I just wanted to add that while climate change is a very serious problem there is a LOT of unsubstantiated "science" moving around activist circles that misrepresents the nature of the problem, and being able to have the IPCC report explained to me without any of the hyperbolic claims helped considerably with my mental health- there are good support groups online that I am happy to dm you if you like!
posted by Roger Schredderer at 6:17 AM on June 23, 2020 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: I need to talk about the real threats in a manner that educates w/out scaring. She read something that talked about a 50' rise; something no scientist endorses. I am involved in Climate Change/Environmental groups, but don't talk a lot about it, certainly not in a dire manner. (though I believe it IS lapping at our doors) This person does see me doing things. I do talk about small personal choices we can make everyday, and some immediate policy changes that could help. Voting for the right people. I see no value in making this person more pessimistic, but would like to leave a sense that actions have consequences. The anxiety has some other sources too, some of which I am trying to figure out.
posted by ebesan at 7:26 AM on June 23, 2020

Deep Adaptation by Jem Bendell offers some hopeful ways to adapt as we approach "inevitable near-term societal collapse due to climate change" which, some would argue, is already here. Other bright minds are saying the same thing: humanity is in hospice phase now. How can we work together to make the time we have left as bearable as possible? And maybe in the process of taking care of each other, turn things around (but not with that as a goal)?

Deep Adaptation includes things like building mental, physical and spiritual resilience, breaking the addiction to consumption, doing work that is meaningful, cherishing deep interpersonal relationships, and applying the wisdom of cultures and people that came before us. All things that make for a good life, either way.

Side note: I've been working with teenagers... a lot of them know it's going to get bad and some are even Zen about it. It's the adults putting their heads in the sand.
posted by gold bridges at 9:26 AM on June 23, 2020 [1 favorite]

Drawdown has an excellent selection of solutions and their impacts, which can help to get a more hopeful view. I would also suggest a project that David Byrne is involved in Reasons to be Cheerful, which has a section on climate and energy improvements.

Both of these sources talk about the benefits of the actions for the populations involved.
posted by chiefthe at 6:28 AM on June 24, 2020