Why am I suddenly DONE with a thing I used to enjoy?
March 6, 2020 12:28 PM Subscribe
I've played D&D for years and loved it; it was really part of my identity and the one thing I kept coming back to. But lately, in the middle of starting up a game I was really excited about, I'm just suddenly... Done. I have no interest in it, and it even actively annoys me now to see D&D stuff pop up in my social media. What's happening?
I've not had anything new show up in my life that replaces it; no new interest or friend or anything. There was a slight issue of a munchkin in the game I was going to run, but I've dealt with that many times. And a game I really enjoyed did end recently, but I'm still in other games. To some extent the fact that D&D is now more mainstream makes me a little grumpy, because there's all these popular people playing it on podcasts and people are fans of them (yes Critical Role) and I feel like all the effort I put into games over the years is lost and wasted because I never got famous like those people even though my games were just as good or better. But that's been the case for a while now and I still was playing even last month, but now the very idea of picked up dice makes me disgusted. What's happening? Is this a normal thing that happens? Have I just 'grown out' of it?
I've not had anything new show up in my life that replaces it; no new interest or friend or anything. There was a slight issue of a munchkin in the game I was going to run, but I've dealt with that many times. And a game I really enjoyed did end recently, but I'm still in other games. To some extent the fact that D&D is now more mainstream makes me a little grumpy, because there's all these popular people playing it on podcasts and people are fans of them (yes Critical Role) and I feel like all the effort I put into games over the years is lost and wasted because I never got famous like those people even though my games were just as good or better. But that's been the case for a while now and I still was playing even last month, but now the very idea of picked up dice makes me disgusted. What's happening? Is this a normal thing that happens? Have I just 'grown out' of it?
I have gone hot and cold on hobbies over the years and think that it's just part of the relationship I have to $THIS_THING. I walk away for a bit, do something else for awhile (weeks? months?) then stumble over some fringe-adjacent thing and bang, I'm all on fire again. Or maybe not. Hobbies and pastimes should be for fun, so it's AOK to change lanes and do something else for a bit.
posted by jquinby at 12:41 PM on March 6, 2020 [15 favorites]
posted by jquinby at 12:41 PM on March 6, 2020 [15 favorites]
I mean, you picked out what seems like a large contributing factor. It does kind of suck when something that one loves that feels niche and special goes mainstream and suddenly everyone and their nan gets involved, even though it's not rational to feel like that (if it was rational one would go, woo, more people to play with! but it just doesn't seem to work that way). I think the thing that really jumps out is this idea that you could've/should've monetised your hobby or become famous through it, and therefore it's pointless for you to have spent so much time and effort on it. Maybe sit with that a bit. Is this really how you feel? Do you really think the only reason to do a thing is for glory and riches? Do you think your gaming life would have felt so rich and exciting if you had been concurrently turning it into your job and worrying about exposure and success? Do you think glory and riches would actually have been worth not having what you have had?
It's totally possible you have just grown out of it. Maybe you need to dig deeper to find an even more niche thing so you can regain that special feeling of exclusivity (which I totally get as a motivator for doing things!) Maybe you need to sit for a while and figure out why other people's success is bumming you out so much. Maybe you need to re-evaluate your metrics of "success".
posted by Balthamos at 12:41 PM on March 6, 2020 [4 favorites]
It's totally possible you have just grown out of it. Maybe you need to dig deeper to find an even more niche thing so you can regain that special feeling of exclusivity (which I totally get as a motivator for doing things!) Maybe you need to sit for a while and figure out why other people's success is bumming you out so much. Maybe you need to re-evaluate your metrics of "success".
posted by Balthamos at 12:41 PM on March 6, 2020 [4 favorites]
I quit D&D last year because of the constant changes to the Adventurers League rules.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:42 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:42 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
I've DM'd & played at nce a week for 6 years (sometimes more). Sometimes you just need a break from things, even if you love them, otherwise you just burn out. Our group takes a whole month over Christmas Holidays and find it really refreshes our enthusiasm levels come the next year.
If you're only liking a thing because it's not popular, that is something you might want to look into, maybe try finding a new group of people to play with, or a whole new RPG system. D&D is not the only game out there, & you can find a super niche RPG system that hardly anyone is playing easily, there might be one that scratches your itch & get's you away from the mainstream influences you don't like.
Also sometimes, we just reach the end of a hobby, I've got quilting, scrapbooking & painting supplies gathering dust in my spare room as testament to that, Sometimes we've achieved all we wanted to with a Hobby, it's not fun anymore & we want some new stimulation nothing wrong with that. Remember you can always return to a hobby later if you find you do miss it.
posted by wwax at 12:50 PM on March 6, 2020
If you're only liking a thing because it's not popular, that is something you might want to look into, maybe try finding a new group of people to play with, or a whole new RPG system. D&D is not the only game out there, & you can find a super niche RPG system that hardly anyone is playing easily, there might be one that scratches your itch & get's you away from the mainstream influences you don't like.
Also sometimes, we just reach the end of a hobby, I've got quilting, scrapbooking & painting supplies gathering dust in my spare room as testament to that, Sometimes we've achieved all we wanted to with a Hobby, it's not fun anymore & we want some new stimulation nothing wrong with that. Remember you can always return to a hobby later if you find you do miss it.
posted by wwax at 12:50 PM on March 6, 2020
Affective habituation? Tabletop RPGs also take a lot of work to prepare and often have a problem of being "20 minutes of fun packed into 4 hours." Maybe switch to another hobby for a year and re-evaluate then.
posted by Wobbuffet at 12:50 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Wobbuffet at 12:50 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
I had a similar experience with video games, of which I once was a regular player. About the time Marathon came out, I realized playing games was work and I wasn't getting paid for it nor even gaining skills of any actual use. (3D shooters were especially bad, as I have a terrible sense of direction and was continually getting lost.) The second revelation was when I got The Sims. I installed it, played it for one weekend, and then took it off my computer because it was clear that if I didn't, I'd never get anything else done. Games were not fun, they were compelling. I wasn't actually enjoying being addicted; I was just addicted.
And in the last 20 years I haven't really played video games seriously at all. I have played a few mobile "casual" games but these don't demand much time. Certainly I'd never consider putting 40 hours into a video game now; I could binge two seasons of a good TV series in that time, or read 5-10 books.
Maybe you too have had a realization. Maybe what you actually like is the social aspect of D&D, and have subconsciously decided that you'd rather get that directly rather than mediated by a game. Maybe you've come to understand that you had additional goals (such as becoming famous) that were not being fulfilled by the activity. It can just be that you have more real life experience and no longer enjoy simulated life experience so much. And that's totally fine.
Growing needn't be seen as "growing up" or "growing out of." People change. They move on. Surely you have seen other people drop out of your gaming circle; it shouldn't be any surprise that it could happen to you, too. (If you looked down on these people for not being "committed enough," well, that's come home to roost, now, hasn't it? Maybe that's why you're questioning your reaction.)
My hypothesis is that a lot of introverted and ostracized kids glom on to something like D&D, make some friends, and build their identity around it. Then at some later point, some of these people get involved in other things and begin to realize that defining themselves as "gamers" is inherently limiting and that they are more than that. When their hobby is no longer central to their identity, they are free to take a long hard look at that activity and decide whether the amount of time and effort they've been putting into it is bringing commensurate benefit to their life. Also they may find they don't actually have much in common with those they engage in the hobby with, aside from the hobby, and may even dislike some of them. (See Geek Social Fallacies.)
Anyway... you are normal.
posted by kindall at 12:51 PM on March 6, 2020 [12 favorites]
And in the last 20 years I haven't really played video games seriously at all. I have played a few mobile "casual" games but these don't demand much time. Certainly I'd never consider putting 40 hours into a video game now; I could binge two seasons of a good TV series in that time, or read 5-10 books.
Maybe you too have had a realization. Maybe what you actually like is the social aspect of D&D, and have subconsciously decided that you'd rather get that directly rather than mediated by a game. Maybe you've come to understand that you had additional goals (such as becoming famous) that were not being fulfilled by the activity. It can just be that you have more real life experience and no longer enjoy simulated life experience so much. And that's totally fine.
Growing needn't be seen as "growing up" or "growing out of." People change. They move on. Surely you have seen other people drop out of your gaming circle; it shouldn't be any surprise that it could happen to you, too. (If you looked down on these people for not being "committed enough," well, that's come home to roost, now, hasn't it? Maybe that's why you're questioning your reaction.)
My hypothesis is that a lot of introverted and ostracized kids glom on to something like D&D, make some friends, and build their identity around it. Then at some later point, some of these people get involved in other things and begin to realize that defining themselves as "gamers" is inherently limiting and that they are more than that. When their hobby is no longer central to their identity, they are free to take a long hard look at that activity and decide whether the amount of time and effort they've been putting into it is bringing commensurate benefit to their life. Also they may find they don't actually have much in common with those they engage in the hobby with, aside from the hobby, and may even dislike some of them. (See Geek Social Fallacies.)
Anyway... you are normal.
posted by kindall at 12:51 PM on March 6, 2020 [12 favorites]
I have been through a similar process with sport, and what I did was to introspectively decide if some aspects still brought me fulfillment and focus on those, do a redirection of sorts. If you are really into bicycle racing, try leisurely trail rides instead, for example.
If you can find no aspect that brings you pleasure, maybe take some time off and come back to it. There are no rules that you can't set it aside for a little bit and come back when the thought of picking up the dice makes you happy. If you never come back, maybe you will find the thing you are truly meant to do. Sometimes when one avenue closes, another better one opens. If you hold onto the old activity even when the passion is gone, you may miss out on the greater fulfillment you possibly could experience from branching out and exploring.
posted by Antidisestablishmentarianist at 12:51 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
If you can find no aspect that brings you pleasure, maybe take some time off and come back to it. There are no rules that you can't set it aside for a little bit and come back when the thought of picking up the dice makes you happy. If you never come back, maybe you will find the thing you are truly meant to do. Sometimes when one avenue closes, another better one opens. If you hold onto the old activity even when the passion is gone, you may miss out on the greater fulfillment you possibly could experience from branching out and exploring.
posted by Antidisestablishmentarianist at 12:51 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
I don't play D&D, but I've absolutely had the experience of just suddenly being done with something that I used to enjoy. I got super into a certain podcast for a while, and was listening to all their back episodes, then I went on vacation for a weekend, and when I got back I just couldn't be bothered. I haven't listened to an episode since.
Usually when this happens to me there's a kind of interruption to the flow - either something happens in the game or tv show that I don't like, causing me to lose interest, or something happens in my life that causes me to forget about the thing for a while. It could be super minor, but it just interrupts my concentration on it just enough that the spell is broken.
posted by backwards compatible at 12:52 PM on March 6, 2020 [2 favorites]
Usually when this happens to me there's a kind of interruption to the flow - either something happens in the game or tv show that I don't like, causing me to lose interest, or something happens in my life that causes me to forget about the thing for a while. It could be super minor, but it just interrupts my concentration on it just enough that the spell is broken.
posted by backwards compatible at 12:52 PM on March 6, 2020 [2 favorites]
I think this is totally normal, but would also ask if you are depressed because sometimes loss of interest in something that had previously been meaningful is a symptom. Not saying it has to be, but - depression sucks and is treatable, regardless of whether you go back to gaming.
posted by bile and syntax at 1:11 PM on March 6, 2020 [6 favorites]
posted by bile and syntax at 1:11 PM on March 6, 2020 [6 favorites]
I've never done D&D, and something interactive and social like that might be different than my examples, but I have been knitting on and off since about 2003. Sometimes I have a bunch of projects going and work on them every day, and for other stretches, I pack it all away and forget about it for a while. Part of it is seasonal because I live somewhere hot and it's just not appealing in the summer, but that does make for 3-4 months breaks which sometimes run longer.
In 2017, I picked up resin casting as a hobby. I worked on it pretty obsessively, at night and on the weekends, until summer 2019 when I suddenly just stopped.nDid nothing with my equipment, didn't want to look at it in Instagram, started knitting a lot instead.
I tried not to judge myself (ugh, wasted money on supplies! lack of dedication!) and instead just kinda gave myself space to not think about it. I just started up again a few weeks ago - I feel refreshed and want to move in a certain direction, and my interest has returned.
Give yourself space to come and go from your hobbies. Maybe you'll never return to D&D, or maybe you will return with new creativity and new interests! Either way, it's okay.
posted by See you tomorrow, saguaro at 1:12 PM on March 6, 2020 [3 favorites]
In 2017, I picked up resin casting as a hobby. I worked on it pretty obsessively, at night and on the weekends, until summer 2019 when I suddenly just stopped.nDid nothing with my equipment, didn't want to look at it in Instagram, started knitting a lot instead.
I tried not to judge myself (ugh, wasted money on supplies! lack of dedication!) and instead just kinda gave myself space to not think about it. I just started up again a few weeks ago - I feel refreshed and want to move in a certain direction, and my interest has returned.
Give yourself space to come and go from your hobbies. Maybe you'll never return to D&D, or maybe you will return with new creativity and new interests! Either way, it's okay.
posted by See you tomorrow, saguaro at 1:12 PM on March 6, 2020 [3 favorites]
Yeah, that happened to me with most of my hobbies after a series of deaths in my family. I used to love to craft and felt like I had some talent with collage. Now...? Well, I've tried to force it a few times in the last few years, but it's just not enjoyable anymore.
I also went super hot and cold on a podcast, like one of the previous answerers.
posted by missrachael at 1:25 PM on March 6, 2020 [2 favorites]
I also went super hot and cold on a podcast, like one of the previous answerers.
posted by missrachael at 1:25 PM on March 6, 2020 [2 favorites]
I stopped playing video games for close to 15 years before starting up again. I It's just a thing that happens to some people sometimes. I sort of replaced them, but not with anything of consequence and now that I'm occasionally playing again, I'm not skipping anything I used to do that was important.
The good thing is I can now catch up on the good stuff I missed without the hype.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:46 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
The good thing is I can now catch up on the good stuff I missed without the hype.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:46 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
You are growing and changing. Expect this to continue throughout your adult life. Don't sweat it unless you're losing interest in *everything* you like.
posted by unstrungharp at 1:57 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by unstrungharp at 1:57 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
I'm going to push back on this a little. While it's absolutely true that you could just be changing and evolving as a person, or just not in the mood for D&D for a good long while, you should also evaluate yourself for depression.
Suddenly not enjoying things you used to enjoy a lot can be a warning sign. Are there other signs? Be aware and ask for help if you need it.
posted by rikschell at 2:03 PM on March 6, 2020 [2 favorites]
Suddenly not enjoying things you used to enjoy a lot can be a warning sign. Are there other signs? Be aware and ask for help if you need it.
posted by rikschell at 2:03 PM on March 6, 2020 [2 favorites]
When I’ve had this in a non-depression way, it’s accompanied by a feeling of restlessness, like not only am I over this hobby, I can’t even bear to think about it. My mind is itching to move on to something new. It’s like a growing pain in my mind. And sure enough I always find another hobby.
posted by sallybrown at 2:10 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by sallybrown at 2:10 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: If I -am- depressed, does that mean I should keep trying to play, even if I don't enjoy it?
posted by Pastor of Muppets at 3:00 PM on March 6, 2020
posted by Pastor of Muppets at 3:00 PM on March 6, 2020
I struggle with depression and have dealt with losing interest in things I normally enjoy due to my depression worsening. Forcing yourself to do the thing will not help. For me, living with depression means taking things moment by moment and clinging to the things that give you any good sensation or feelings like a life raft and trying to avoid the things that give you bad feelings where possible. There's a good chance you've just overdosed on D&D (been there) and need a break. But if it's a depression thing I don't think forcing yourself is going to help.
posted by zeusianfog at 3:08 PM on March 6, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by zeusianfog at 3:08 PM on March 6, 2020 [3 favorites]
I wouldn't recommend playing if it's not fun.
SO MUCH of D&D is the people. Friends come and go. Maybe it would be more exciting for you if you found a new group, or found a group that made it fun for you? Being the DM is hard work where you are making the fun for other people. Somewhere out there is a DM who will make the game a totally new adventure for you!
posted by bbqturtle at 4:34 PM on March 6, 2020
SO MUCH of D&D is the people. Friends come and go. Maybe it would be more exciting for you if you found a new group, or found a group that made it fun for you? Being the DM is hard work where you are making the fun for other people. Somewhere out there is a DM who will make the game a totally new adventure for you!
posted by bbqturtle at 4:34 PM on March 6, 2020
I was going to say it sounded like you burned out — especially given your revulsion — but it seems much more likely that this is a symptom of depression. It’s probably worth trying to continue to play as the social contact would likely be good for you, but really tackling the depression head on should be your priority.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 5:15 PM on March 6, 2020
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 5:15 PM on March 6, 2020
DMing is a lot of work and mostly thankless, players have no clue how much time goes into preparing for their games. It is a big burden to do the prep work to make a game really good and be the person who is "responsible" for everybody else having fun. I have not been playing nearly as long as you but I can definitely see if you are DMing how you could easily get burnt out, especially on top of playing in other people's games. D&D is way more of a commitment (time wise and socially) than say, video games or taking up an artistic hobby.
So I think it's totally fine to take a break if you're feeling burnt out, but I would be worried about something deeper if you're doing it to avoid social situations or you want to play but can't get up the motivation.
Also you're not alone in disliking Critical Role, I can't really stand it either and don't get the appeal (who has time to watch 5 hours of someone else rolling dice every week??? It's just not that interesting!). So I do roll my eyes a little when some of my players bring it up. But then again, I made one of my other hobbies into my career and let me tell you, if you want to turn something you love into a chore that you want to avoid.... that's one way to do it.
posted by bradbane at 5:28 PM on March 6, 2020 [2 favorites]
So I think it's totally fine to take a break if you're feeling burnt out, but I would be worried about something deeper if you're doing it to avoid social situations or you want to play but can't get up the motivation.
Also you're not alone in disliking Critical Role, I can't really stand it either and don't get the appeal (who has time to watch 5 hours of someone else rolling dice every week??? It's just not that interesting!). So I do roll my eyes a little when some of my players bring it up. But then again, I made one of my other hobbies into my career and let me tell you, if you want to turn something you love into a chore that you want to avoid.... that's one way to do it.
posted by bradbane at 5:28 PM on March 6, 2020 [2 favorites]
I don't have an answer for this, but I'm having similar problems with some of my hobbies. I've had no mojo to sign up for improv classes even though I love improv and had the free time, ditto storytelling classes. I quit my volunteer job of fifteen years because I just don't feel like working there one night a week any more. I don't want to quit the place but I want my time freed up if I get into any plays.
So no answers, but same issue. All I can conclude is that I feel better not doing those things, and I haven't been able to make myself do those things, so I guess I just don't wanna any more. It makes me sad and I don't like it, but that is the funk I am in right now.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:06 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
So no answers, but same issue. All I can conclude is that I feel better not doing those things, and I haven't been able to make myself do those things, so I guess I just don't wanna any more. It makes me sad and I don't like it, but that is the funk I am in right now.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:06 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
Yeah this is definitely me and console video games. I used to LOVE them, immerse myself in them, write about them and then around the PS3 era I just stopped caring. I still get into one or two titles every so often but I just don't feel the need to sit down and play them one after the other like I used to. But I still love READING about new games and I love playing retro arcade games and pinball, so maybe you just need another tabletop RPG to dig into. Maybe make playing Rifts somehow cool.
posted by Young Kullervo at 6:54 PM on March 6, 2020
posted by Young Kullervo at 6:54 PM on March 6, 2020
I was an avid tournament chess player for many years (over a decade, with a few brief breaks). And then I just... burned out. Realized how much time I was spending on it. One of the last tournaments I played in was a weekend-long tournament, and the weather was absolutely perfect outside, and I said to myself, "why the FUCK am I inside on a gorgeous weekend like this?" That wasn't the only thing that stopped me, but it was a factor.
That was ~15 years ago. Just about a year ago, I decided to get back in. But I promised myself not to spend too much time on it. One, maybe two weeknight tournaments a month. A one-day Saturday tourney maybe every three months or so. No all-weekend (or longer) tournaments. Very little time studying. And it's difficult, because it's addictive. I could easily spend multiple evenings a week studying variations of the Nimzo-Indian Defense, if I let myself. My rating has dropped, and I'm sure I could get it back up if I played more and studied more, but I'm resolved not to spend too much time on it.
I don't mean to dismiss the possibility of depression, but I'd look at your other hobbies and even ordinary daily activities. Are you finding it hard to take pleasure from them? If yes, maybe depression. But if its only D&D you feel that way about, maybe you're just burned out. Maybe you'll go back to it in 5, 10, 15 years. Maybe you won't. And either way, that's fine.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:36 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
That was ~15 years ago. Just about a year ago, I decided to get back in. But I promised myself not to spend too much time on it. One, maybe two weeknight tournaments a month. A one-day Saturday tourney maybe every three months or so. No all-weekend (or longer) tournaments. Very little time studying. And it's difficult, because it's addictive. I could easily spend multiple evenings a week studying variations of the Nimzo-Indian Defense, if I let myself. My rating has dropped, and I'm sure I could get it back up if I played more and studied more, but I'm resolved not to spend too much time on it.
I don't mean to dismiss the possibility of depression, but I'd look at your other hobbies and even ordinary daily activities. Are you finding it hard to take pleasure from them? If yes, maybe depression. But if its only D&D you feel that way about, maybe you're just burned out. Maybe you'll go back to it in 5, 10, 15 years. Maybe you won't. And either way, that's fine.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:36 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
I feel like all the effort I put into games over the years is lost and wasted because I never got famous like those people even though my games were just as good or better. But that's been the case for a while now and I still was playing even last month, but now the very idea of picked up dice makes me disgusted.
This part interests me. This is a really hard feeling. Like you just found out there was this thing you were supposed to be doing this whole time but you didn't know what you didn't know. and that means that everything you did is meaningless now. I kind of feel a little similar every time I hear about D&D but because i would have loved it so much as a kid, I was starving for something exactly like that, and it's really not my fault I didn't know about something I had no way of knowing about. And that means my whole idiotic childhood is meaningless now because the things I wanted were just there for me to find. Like why is everyone else allowed to change all the rules about what things mean and what people are supposed to know without telling me? Anyway if you do think you might be depressed this does kind of sound a little sensitive. Like when you're depressed you feel more protective of yourself and on the defense.
posted by bleep at 8:56 PM on March 6, 2020
This part interests me. This is a really hard feeling. Like you just found out there was this thing you were supposed to be doing this whole time but you didn't know what you didn't know. and that means that everything you did is meaningless now. I kind of feel a little similar every time I hear about D&D but because i would have loved it so much as a kid, I was starving for something exactly like that, and it's really not my fault I didn't know about something I had no way of knowing about. And that means my whole idiotic childhood is meaningless now because the things I wanted were just there for me to find. Like why is everyone else allowed to change all the rules about what things mean and what people are supposed to know without telling me? Anyway if you do think you might be depressed this does kind of sound a little sensitive. Like when you're depressed you feel more protective of yourself and on the defense.
posted by bleep at 8:56 PM on March 6, 2020
Sometimes I find myself feeling intensely annoyed or disgusted with something or someone as a way of displacing my anxiety or dissatisfaction about myself or things in my life.
So that's one more possibility: you wish your life were in a different place (maybe money or career are stressors) and the new popularity of RPGs makes them a relevant scapegoat for your feelings.
posted by trig at 11:09 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
So that's one more possibility: you wish your life were in a different place (maybe money or career are stressors) and the new popularity of RPGs makes them a relevant scapegoat for your feelings.
posted by trig at 11:09 PM on March 6, 2020 [1 favorite]
The phrase I like to use to explain the quality of being done with something I previously enjoyed is, “I reached my lifetime maximum for [thing].” This most frequently happens with songs I’ve heard a lot, and pop culture I’ve seen a lot. Some examples include the song “Heresy” by Nine Inch Nails (I love the album, and I actually *like* the song, I just don’t need to listen to it again), and Baby Yoda, which smashed all previous records by making me incurably sick of this phenomenon after one single week.
You probably just hit your saturation point, and now all the clever in-jokes and references seem overplayed and tryhard because you’ve been hearing them for years already, and you’re over it. And maybe you have the thing where you want to start a new game because the progress of the current game just isn’t very fun for you. (This happens to me a lot in Civilization. My resources suck, I get all the barbarians, all my wonders get bogarted 3 turns from completion, and someone keeps declaring war on me? Restart.)
Just take a break for a while and see if you feel like picking it back up in a few months. Play something else for a while.
posted by Autumnheart at 12:09 AM on March 7, 2020
You probably just hit your saturation point, and now all the clever in-jokes and references seem overplayed and tryhard because you’ve been hearing them for years already, and you’re over it. And maybe you have the thing where you want to start a new game because the progress of the current game just isn’t very fun for you. (This happens to me a lot in Civilization. My resources suck, I get all the barbarians, all my wonders get bogarted 3 turns from completion, and someone keeps declaring war on me? Restart.)
Just take a break for a while and see if you feel like picking it back up in a few months. Play something else for a while.
posted by Autumnheart at 12:09 AM on March 7, 2020
This kind of stuff happens. To some, it happens repeatedly. Who knows why.
I've never nodded my head so vigorously as the first time I heard John Larouche say, "Fuck fish... Done with fish."
posted by dobbs at 6:40 AM on March 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
I've never nodded my head so vigorously as the first time I heard John Larouche say, "Fuck fish... Done with fish."
posted by dobbs at 6:40 AM on March 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
I hear a tone and what you have written of "this was supposed to be bigger and better than it is". Some of that referring to D&D and some of it referring to your life, I think. This sense of longing and incompleteness is a really normal way to feel and is honestly just part of the human condition I think. "Man's reach should exceed his grasp" and all that.
It sounds like the "should" of it isn't helping you any. I wouldn't reinforce that by forcing yourself to continue the game as an obligation now, when it has no sparkle for you. But maybe you would find more satisfaction in doing something that feels like you're building something you want in your life. Not to chase a "get famous quick" plan, but to look at a skill you want now or something you'd like to create (community, a book, something career-related, a physical craft, a garden, an exercise routine, there are a lot of options) and start putting your energy toward that. Is there anything that you feel that warm glow at the thought of going out and doing?
If you can't find anything that you both want to do and that seems to be possible (if learning how to make a YouTube show will be a disappointment if you have only a hundred viewers, or playing in a band will be a disappointment if you only play bar gigs) then I'd look hard at fomo/anxiety/depression and probably talk to a counselor to dig a bit harder into what's going on at a base level.
posted by Lady Li at 9:56 AM on March 7, 2020
It sounds like the "should" of it isn't helping you any. I wouldn't reinforce that by forcing yourself to continue the game as an obligation now, when it has no sparkle for you. But maybe you would find more satisfaction in doing something that feels like you're building something you want in your life. Not to chase a "get famous quick" plan, but to look at a skill you want now or something you'd like to create (community, a book, something career-related, a physical craft, a garden, an exercise routine, there are a lot of options) and start putting your energy toward that. Is there anything that you feel that warm glow at the thought of going out and doing?
If you can't find anything that you both want to do and that seems to be possible (if learning how to make a YouTube show will be a disappointment if you have only a hundred viewers, or playing in a band will be a disappointment if you only play bar gigs) then I'd look hard at fomo/anxiety/depression and probably talk to a counselor to dig a bit harder into what's going on at a base level.
posted by Lady Li at 9:56 AM on March 7, 2020
I would also ask what else has changed in your life recently. Often when I've lost interest in a specific hobby it's because that piece of my brain or that aspect of my energy is getting filled up somewhere else. Say if your job has recently changed to involve more coordinating groups or planning events, that may not be a thing you feel like you want to do for fun anymore and you may be rethinking the value it has.
posted by Lady Li at 9:57 AM on March 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Lady Li at 9:57 AM on March 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
OMG, that exactly explains my problem. I want to do plays. I'm just annoyed at myself for not wanting to volunteer or take classes during the winter when I'm not even in any plays! But yes, the theater is taking up all my brainspace that usually goes towards taking a bunch of classes in things.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:47 PM on March 7, 2020
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:47 PM on March 7, 2020
Ask your doctor to screen you for depression
posted by Jacqueline at 6:36 PM on March 11, 2020
posted by Jacqueline at 6:36 PM on March 11, 2020
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by kimberussell at 12:37 PM on March 6, 2020 [3 favorites]