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October 31, 2019 8:42 AM Subscribe
Please share with me examples of annotated "good deaths" - words/music/video/etc. that people have created to mark their impending death.
I'm not looking for content about coping with/accepting death or afterlives; nothing flowery or designed to be reassuring, and nothing religious, but meaningful creative efforts that flawed people have birthed in their last days.
Examples include David Bowie's Lazarus, Randy Pausch's last lecture, and Warren Zevon's The Wind (and his final appearance on Letterman). No examples of fiction here but that's welcome too if it's closely linked to the author's death (rather than simply about death in general).
I'm not looking for content about coping with/accepting death or afterlives; nothing flowery or designed to be reassuring, and nothing religious, but meaningful creative efforts that flawed people have birthed in their last days.
Examples include David Bowie's Lazarus, Randy Pausch's last lecture, and Warren Zevon's The Wind (and his final appearance on Letterman). No examples of fiction here but that's welcome too if it's closely linked to the author's death (rather than simply about death in general).
Oliver Sacks wrote an essay about his impending death.
Christopher Hitchens wrote Mortality, a book collecting his essays about his terminal cancer.
It's been a while since I've read Anatole Broyard's Intoxicated by my Illness, but I believe it's in the same ballpark.
(Your inclusion of Randy Pausch's last lecture made me feel these were OK - very directly addressing death rather than more artistic interpretations.)
posted by FencingGal at 8:59 AM on October 31, 2019 [2 favorites]
Christopher Hitchens wrote Mortality, a book collecting his essays about his terminal cancer.
It's been a while since I've read Anatole Broyard's Intoxicated by my Illness, but I believe it's in the same ballpark.
(Your inclusion of Randy Pausch's last lecture made me feel these were OK - very directly addressing death rather than more artistic interpretations.)
posted by FencingGal at 8:59 AM on October 31, 2019 [2 favorites]
I've known a couple of people who feel this way about Johnny Cash's last studio album before his death, American IV: The Man Comes Around; in particular, his cover of the song "Hurt" and the accompanying music video are performed in a really sparse, retrospective way that would have been pretty amazing at any time, but come across as particularly poignant in light of how close to the end of his life he was when they were released.
posted by helloimjennsco at 9:04 AM on October 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by helloimjennsco at 9:04 AM on October 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
Best answer: The Long Boat by Stanley Kunitz
When his boat snapped loose
from its mooring, under
the screaking of the gulls,
he tried at first to wave
to his dear ones on shore,
but in the rolling fog
they had already lost their faces.
Too tired even to choose
between jumping and calling,
somehow he felt absolved and free
of his burdens, those mottoes
stamped on his name-tag:
conscience, ambition, and all
that caring.
He was content to lie down
with the family ghosts
in the slop of his cradle,
buffeted by the storm,
endlessly drifting.
Peace! Peace!
To be rocked by the Infinite!
As if it didn't matter
which way was home;
as if he didn't know
he loved the earth so much
he wanted to stay forever.
posted by nantucket at 9:13 AM on October 31, 2019 [13 favorites]
When his boat snapped loose
from its mooring, under
the screaking of the gulls,
he tried at first to wave
to his dear ones on shore,
but in the rolling fog
they had already lost their faces.
Too tired even to choose
between jumping and calling,
somehow he felt absolved and free
of his burdens, those mottoes
stamped on his name-tag:
conscience, ambition, and all
that caring.
He was content to lie down
with the family ghosts
in the slop of his cradle,
buffeted by the storm,
endlessly drifting.
Peace! Peace!
To be rocked by the Infinite!
As if it didn't matter
which way was home;
as if he didn't know
he loved the earth so much
he wanted to stay forever.
posted by nantucket at 9:13 AM on October 31, 2019 [13 favorites]
This kind of fits: Roger Ebert's last movie review.
posted by Melismata at 9:16 AM on October 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Melismata at 9:16 AM on October 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
Freddie Mercury's video of "The Show Must Go On."
posted by Melismata at 9:17 AM on October 31, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Melismata at 9:17 AM on October 31, 2019 [2 favorites]
You May Want to Marry My Husband by Amy Krouse Rosenthal. Rosenthal was a children's book author & memoir author. She wrote this article while she was dying of ovarian cancer.
posted by carrioncomfort at 9:32 AM on October 31, 2019 [15 favorites]
posted by carrioncomfort at 9:32 AM on October 31, 2019 [15 favorites]
Paul Kalanithi's book When Breath Becomes Air
posted by tangaroo at 9:54 AM on October 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by tangaroo at 9:54 AM on October 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
Jack Layton's last letter He was a Canadian Politician
The whole letter is quite good, but the last paragraphs always hit me
And finally, to all Canadians: Canada is a great country, one of the hopes of the world. We can be a better one – a country of greater equality, justice, and opportunity. We can build a prosperous economy and a society that shares its benefits more fairly. We can look after our seniors. We can offer better futures for our children. We can do our part to save the world’s environment. We can restore our good name in the world. We can do all of these things because we finally have a party system at the national level where there are real choices; where your vote matters; where working for change can actually bring about change. In the months and years to come, New Democrats will put a compelling new alternative to you. My colleagues in our party are an impressive, committed team. Give them a careful hearing; consider the alternatives; and consider that we can be a better, fairer, more equal country by working together. Don’t let them tell you it can’t be done.
My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.
All my very best,
Jack Layton
posted by Ftsqg at 10:01 AM on October 31, 2019 [5 favorites]
The whole letter is quite good, but the last paragraphs always hit me
And finally, to all Canadians: Canada is a great country, one of the hopes of the world. We can be a better one – a country of greater equality, justice, and opportunity. We can build a prosperous economy and a society that shares its benefits more fairly. We can look after our seniors. We can offer better futures for our children. We can do our part to save the world’s environment. We can restore our good name in the world. We can do all of these things because we finally have a party system at the national level where there are real choices; where your vote matters; where working for change can actually bring about change. In the months and years to come, New Democrats will put a compelling new alternative to you. My colleagues in our party are an impressive, committed team. Give them a careful hearing; consider the alternatives; and consider that we can be a better, fairer, more equal country by working together. Don’t let them tell you it can’t be done.
My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.
All my very best,
Jack Layton
posted by Ftsqg at 10:01 AM on October 31, 2019 [5 favorites]
Maybe Bernie and the Believers featuring Essence Tiny Desk Concert. Bernie was diagnosed with ALS just as he started becoming a songwriter/performer. NPR's Tiny Desk Concert series put on a performance of his music. He passed away in May.
posted by devonia at 10:42 AM on October 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by devonia at 10:42 AM on October 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
Leonard Cohen's final album, You Want It Darker.
posted by octothorp at 11:00 AM on October 31, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by octothorp at 11:00 AM on October 31, 2019 [5 favorites]
Queen's 1995 album Made in Heaven was released four years after Freddie Mercury's death, from the last recordings they had completed with him.
I have always found his vocals on it haunting. He would have known he was dying as he wrote and recorded that material, and something about that has always shone through very powerfully for me. It's not defiant, or melancholy. It's a joyful, but reflective, farewell.
Too Much Love Will Kill You still puts tears in my eyes to this day.
posted by automatronic at 11:34 AM on October 31, 2019
I have always found his vocals on it haunting. He would have known he was dying as he wrote and recorded that material, and something about that has always shone through very powerfully for me. It's not defiant, or melancholy. It's a joyful, but reflective, farewell.
Too Much Love Will Kill You still puts tears in my eyes to this day.
posted by automatronic at 11:34 AM on October 31, 2019
Josie Rubio wrote this NYT Op-ed this August about dating with terminal cancer. She has also been blogging about her experience dying with cancer at A Pain in the Neck.
posted by crazy with stars at 12:25 PM on October 31, 2019
posted by crazy with stars at 12:25 PM on October 31, 2019
The Order of the Good Death This link might also provide some additional resource material for you.
posted by effluvia at 12:55 PM on October 31, 2019
posted by effluvia at 12:55 PM on October 31, 2019
Best answer: The Tragically Hip were the biggest band of the late 80s to early 2000s in Canada; think U2 for stature and REM for musical impact. But they are a very Canadian band; their music has lots of local references, they were wildly more popular here than in the US -- they played 20,000 seat arenas in Canada, then went to American cities five times larger to play for 2,000.
Their lead singer / lyricist / driving force Gord Downie was diagnosed with an aggressive brain cancer in 2016; the band had a new album and had already arranged a national tour. It turned into a remarkable celebration of the life and work of the Hip. The tour finished with a show in their hometown in Kingston; the CBC broadcast it nationally, live and uncut. (They preempted their coverage of the Summer Olympics for this concert!) It was the second-most watched TV broadcast in the history of the country.
There's a documentary about the final tour, Long Time Running. Someone -- I can't remember who, I think a rock critic or old rock star -- likens musical careers to being in a hot air balloon; you hope you lift off, the wind takes you where it will, and you drift until you run out of steam. He said the Hip were the first band he's ever seen that managed to land the balloon.
Metafilter: Cancer announcement / Final concert / Gord Downie, 1964-2017
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 1:04 PM on October 31, 2019 [3 favorites]
Their lead singer / lyricist / driving force Gord Downie was diagnosed with an aggressive brain cancer in 2016; the band had a new album and had already arranged a national tour. It turned into a remarkable celebration of the life and work of the Hip. The tour finished with a show in their hometown in Kingston; the CBC broadcast it nationally, live and uncut. (They preempted their coverage of the Summer Olympics for this concert!) It was the second-most watched TV broadcast in the history of the country.
There's a documentary about the final tour, Long Time Running. Someone -- I can't remember who, I think a rock critic or old rock star -- likens musical careers to being in a hot air balloon; you hope you lift off, the wind takes you where it will, and you drift until you run out of steam. He said the Hip were the first band he's ever seen that managed to land the balloon.
Metafilter: Cancer announcement / Final concert / Gord Downie, 1964-2017
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 1:04 PM on October 31, 2019 [3 favorites]
Queen's Innuendo record was made during Freddy's final decline -- I think that Made in Heaven is outtakes from that record.
You can really feel that final illness in the record. Others have mentioned The Show Must Go On, but for me These Are the Days of Our Lives is the number that jerks tears.
posted by Sauce Trough at 3:57 PM on October 31, 2019
You can really feel that final illness in the record. Others have mentioned The Show Must Go On, but for me These Are the Days of Our Lives is the number that jerks tears.
posted by Sauce Trough at 3:57 PM on October 31, 2019
Existential therapist Irvin Yalom, who wrote the text everyone uses about group therapy, writes a lot about what it's like to face death. I'm having trouble finding the name of the novel whose main character is a therapist who is dying. He does not write especially glorious prose, but he has put a great deal of thought into this issue.
posted by less of course at 4:26 PM on October 31, 2019
posted by less of course at 4:26 PM on October 31, 2019
brainhell is a blog which chronicles the experience of its author with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis from his diagnosis at age 40 in 2004 until his death in the winter of 2008. It's unforgettable.
posted by easy, lucky, free at 5:04 PM on October 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by easy, lucky, free at 5:04 PM on October 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (Wikipedia) (original French title: Le Scaphandre et le Papillon) is a memoir by journalist Jean-Dominique Bauby. It describes his life before and after suffering a massive stroke [in 1995] that left him with locked-in syndrome.[...] The entire book was written by Bauby blinking his left eyelid, which took ten months (four hours a day).
On March 9, 1997, two days after the book was published, Bauby died of pneumonia.
posted by Iris Gambol at 8:03 PM on October 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
On March 9, 1997, two days after the book was published, Bauby died of pneumonia.
posted by Iris Gambol at 8:03 PM on October 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
Catherine Coulson was just a few days from the end of her life when she filmed this scene from Twin Peaks: The Return--in which she says, in character, that she's dying, and delivers some story-critical information. By the time I watched this episode, she'd passed, and it was just such a touching and fitting tribute.
posted by rhiannonstone at 9:16 PM on October 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by rhiannonstone at 9:16 PM on October 31, 2019 [1 favorite]
Raymond Carver wrote the poem Gravy while dying of lung cancer at age 50. That poem appears on his tombstone, along with this, from his last published work:
Late Fragment
And did you get what you wanted from this life,
even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
Beloved on the Earth.
---
Jim Harrison's final book of poetry, Dead Man's Float, was published a few months before he died. I haven't read that collection, but I love this poem of his (not sure when it was written):
Barking
The moon comes up.
The moon goes down.
This is to inform you
that I didn’t die young.
Age swept past me
but I caught up.
Spring has begun here and each day
brings new birds up from Mexico.
Yesterday I got a call from the outside
world but I said no in thunder.
I was a dog on a short chain
and now there’s no chain.
posted by Bron at 8:25 AM on November 1, 2019 [1 favorite]
Late Fragment
And did you get what you wanted from this life,
even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
Beloved on the Earth.
---
Jim Harrison's final book of poetry, Dead Man's Float, was published a few months before he died. I haven't read that collection, but I love this poem of his (not sure when it was written):
Barking
The moon comes up.
The moon goes down.
This is to inform you
that I didn’t die young.
Age swept past me
but I caught up.
Spring has begun here and each day
brings new birds up from Mexico.
Yesterday I got a call from the outside
world but I said no in thunder.
I was a dog on a short chain
and now there’s no chain.
posted by Bron at 8:25 AM on November 1, 2019 [1 favorite]
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"A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP"
LLAP is Live Long and Prosper.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 8:59 AM on October 31, 2019 [4 favorites]