Repatriating relative with severe mental health issues from Aus to NZ
October 12, 2019 12:24 AM Subscribe
My Kiwi relative is suffering from severe delusions and hallucinations but can appear normal to people who don't spend an extended period of time with her. She was house-sitting for me in Melbourne when I was overseas and the neighbours contacted me regarding her verbally aggressive behaviour while I was away. I've paid for temporary accommodation as I promised the neighbours she would move out, plus I found it hard to be patient with her regarding her delusions as most of her conversations are about them. She and I are on good terms. She doesn't want to go back to New Zealand.
I am in touch with her mum in NZ, who knows what's going on and we agree it would be best for her to go back home.
The delusions include that she is married to a guy that she's not married to, that her phone and laptop have been hacked, that previous bosses and my neighbours are to blame for her not getting a job, that she has a brain tumour, and that my apartment was burgled while I was away.
Involuntary hospitalisation / detention / medication is not my preferred course of action, but I would consider it if we can't otherwise convince her to go back to NZ. My relative isn't eligible for housing or income support here, and can't seem to make progress with finding any kind of work, so she has to be in NZ where she has a safety net. She has access to Medicare thanks to having lived in Aus prior to this mental illness some years ago. However, she tends to think she knows better than doctors.
I feel partly responsible as I encouraged her to come over here - I thought she would be able to get some kind of job. So far this is not the case. I previously had very limited understanding of her mental health issues, but I now realise the extent of the delusional symptoms and that the symptoms are perhaps what is getting in the way of her finding work.
I also now realise thanks to watching some talks online by psychiatrist Xavier Amador that my relative's lack of insight into her condition - she does not buy it that she has any issues - is part of the condition itself and not denial.
I want to get her back home to NZ again. How can I do this? A previous forced repatriation from Western Australia to NZ happened to this relative a few years ago in which I was not involved and her mum says the NZ embassy helped on that occasion. What can I ask them to do to help?
I am in touch with her mum in NZ, who knows what's going on and we agree it would be best for her to go back home.
The delusions include that she is married to a guy that she's not married to, that her phone and laptop have been hacked, that previous bosses and my neighbours are to blame for her not getting a job, that she has a brain tumour, and that my apartment was burgled while I was away.
Involuntary hospitalisation / detention / medication is not my preferred course of action, but I would consider it if we can't otherwise convince her to go back to NZ. My relative isn't eligible for housing or income support here, and can't seem to make progress with finding any kind of work, so she has to be in NZ where she has a safety net. She has access to Medicare thanks to having lived in Aus prior to this mental illness some years ago. However, she tends to think she knows better than doctors.
I feel partly responsible as I encouraged her to come over here - I thought she would be able to get some kind of job. So far this is not the case. I previously had very limited understanding of her mental health issues, but I now realise the extent of the delusional symptoms and that the symptoms are perhaps what is getting in the way of her finding work.
I also now realise thanks to watching some talks online by psychiatrist Xavier Amador that my relative's lack of insight into her condition - she does not buy it that she has any issues - is part of the condition itself and not denial.
I want to get her back home to NZ again. How can I do this? A previous forced repatriation from Western Australia to NZ happened to this relative a few years ago in which I was not involved and her mum says the NZ embassy helped on that occasion. What can I ask them to do to help?
I want to get her back home to NZ again. How can I do this? A previous forced repatriation from Western Australia to NZ happened to this relative a few years ago in which I was not involved and her mum says the NZ embassy helped on that occasion. What can I ask them to do to help?
I am sorry this is hard. We had to get my partner's son back from across the country in the US when he was off of his medication and delusional and it was stressful. You sound like you have some decent insight into her condition which is good.
I think what I would ask first is: has she been on a medication regimen in the past which was useful? It's possible that there is a short-term "Let's help tamp down the delusions for a little while and you can go visit your mom" strategy might be useful. It's challenging because you want to respect her bodily and mental autonomy while at the same time wanting to get her somewhere where she can be stabilized within her community, whatever that means. It does not sound like where she is now is a place she can be in the long term.
It may be that the two of you go to NZ, is that a possibility, and then only you come back? Again it feels weird/bad to lie to people in order to get them somewhere which is better for them, but often it's part of a harm reduction program where ultimately she can be supported. Because realistically if she stays in AUS and you're not supporting her, it sounds like it's possible she might be hospitalised anyhow? In the US it's Mental Health Awareness Week and you might find the NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness) stuff useful (esp NAMI Basics, message me if you need a US zip code to sign up) even if you're in Australia because it's more about communicating and working with mentally ill family members and less about the laws of where you are.
posted by jessamyn at 11:54 AM on October 12, 2019 [1 favorite]
I am sorry this is hard. We had to get my partner's son back from across the country in the US when he was off of his medication and delusional and it was stressful. You sound like you have some decent insight into her condition which is good.
I think what I would ask first is: has she been on a medication regimen in the past which was useful? It's possible that there is a short-term "Let's help tamp down the delusions for a little while and you can go visit your mom" strategy might be useful. It's challenging because you want to respect her bodily and mental autonomy while at the same time wanting to get her somewhere where she can be stabilized within her community, whatever that means. It does not sound like where she is now is a place she can be in the long term.
It may be that the two of you go to NZ, is that a possibility, and then only you come back? Again it feels weird/bad to lie to people in order to get them somewhere which is better for them, but often it's part of a harm reduction program where ultimately she can be supported. Because realistically if she stays in AUS and you're not supporting her, it sounds like it's possible she might be hospitalised anyhow? In the US it's Mental Health Awareness Week and you might find the NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness) stuff useful (esp NAMI Basics, message me if you need a US zip code to sign up) even if you're in Australia because it's more about communicating and working with mentally ill family members and less about the laws of where you are.
posted by jessamyn at 11:54 AM on October 12, 2019 [1 favorite]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 12:39 AM on October 12, 2019 [2 favorites]