Hobby ideas for my disabled mom
August 27, 2019 6:20 AM Subscribe
My mom, who is in her late 60s, had a stroke in 2017. As a result, she had to retire from work, no longer drives, and has some paralysis. She uses a cane to walk and only has use of one arm. She is bored out of her skull at home, so for her birthday, I'd like to buy her some potential new hobbies to try out. Ideas?
A few more things about mom - she has a desktop PC and a tablet, but her cognitive function is not at 100% so anything electronic seems to be tough for her. She used to enjoy basic facebook games like mahjong and slots, but she gets frustrated with them now. She has never enjoyed reading books. She used to enjoy crafting quite a bit, but I can't think of any crafts she could manage now with 1 arm. I've bought her coloring books and a jigsaw puzzle and neither were a hit.
Her days now consist mostly of watching a lot of Netflix. I'd like to get her something(s) that she can easily enjoy in the house without needing someone else around to set it up or help her with. She's not willing to take an uber or other transportation alone, so suggestions of things to do outside of the house won't work. I've got a few hundred bucks to throw at this, and I'm in a city with lots of store options. Help me brainstorm!
A few more things about mom - she has a desktop PC and a tablet, but her cognitive function is not at 100% so anything electronic seems to be tough for her. She used to enjoy basic facebook games like mahjong and slots, but she gets frustrated with them now. She has never enjoyed reading books. She used to enjoy crafting quite a bit, but I can't think of any crafts she could manage now with 1 arm. I've bought her coloring books and a jigsaw puzzle and neither were a hit.
Her days now consist mostly of watching a lot of Netflix. I'd like to get her something(s) that she can easily enjoy in the house without needing someone else around to set it up or help her with. She's not willing to take an uber or other transportation alone, so suggestions of things to do outside of the house won't work. I've got a few hundred bucks to throw at this, and I'm in a city with lots of store options. Help me brainstorm!
What about watercolour painting? There's a certain amount of letting go of control with watercolours that I feel works better with limited mobility (colouring inside lines can be hard sometimes).
Or maybe some puzzle books - like sudoku puzzles or word searches?
posted by vespertinism at 6:29 AM on August 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
Or maybe some puzzle books - like sudoku puzzles or word searches?
posted by vespertinism at 6:29 AM on August 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
"675 Video Walks Around the World" might offer a means of virtual tourism--one that feels like a break from Netflix to my mind, calmer but more realistic. If she enjoys them, maybe eventually a treadmill with solid supports in lieu of the cane could work as exercise (in view of your budget, maybe a used one).
posted by Wobbuffet at 6:42 AM on August 27, 2019
posted by Wobbuffet at 6:42 AM on August 27, 2019
Re: computer games
Chuzzle Deluxe is a cute little game where you match pompoms with eyes - match the same colour and they explode happily - and there's a free demo she can try without you spending any money.
Here's a video about it.
I have [different] neurological issues that cause mental exhaustion and brainfog, and I find it very soothing/relaxing.
You can play it slowly - it doesn't require fast reaction times, as long as you don't switch from "normal" to "speed" mode - which is hard to do accidentally.
posted by Murderbot at 6:46 AM on August 27, 2019
Chuzzle Deluxe is a cute little game where you match pompoms with eyes - match the same colour and they explode happily - and there's a free demo she can try without you spending any money.
Here's a video about it.
I have [different] neurological issues that cause mental exhaustion and brainfog, and I find it very soothing/relaxing.
You can play it slowly - it doesn't require fast reaction times, as long as you don't switch from "normal" to "speed" mode - which is hard to do accidentally.
posted by Murderbot at 6:46 AM on August 27, 2019
How does she feel about audiobooks?
If you go with this option - look into your state's involvement in the National Library Service, which will send her (and any other person with a physical or visual impairment) unlimited free audiobooks through the mail.
posted by nuclear_soup at 6:56 AM on August 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
If you go with this option - look into your state's involvement in the National Library Service, which will send her (and any other person with a physical or visual impairment) unlimited free audiobooks through the mail.
posted by nuclear_soup at 6:56 AM on August 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
Could she take care of houseplants? It's not necessarily actively time consuming but it could be -- and feel like -- an accomplishment.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 7:01 AM on August 27, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 7:01 AM on August 27, 2019 [5 favorites]
Loom knitting might be right up her alley. You can get a table top stand for them so they are easy to do one handed & she could do it while watching Netflix and maybe sew scarves & hats for charity or as gifts so she feels what she is making is useful. One handed knitting is a thing.
Tapestries can also be done on a stand depending on if she could hold a needle or not. If not punch needle embroidery/knitting uses a larger easy to hold punch and thicker yarn again using a stand so it can be done one handed though.
If she has a bird feeder & likes birds she could join the Cornell eBird program tracking the birds she sees arrive & when. If she doesn't have a feeder & a bird bath they can be great to give you some sense of being connected to the outside world & it's fun watching the visitors to your garden.
If she liked scrapbooking, digital scrapbooking is a thing, or there is no reason why she couldn't do simple scrapbooks with one hand as you can buy everything precut now a days & it would give her a lovely reason to go through old photos. You use a tape roller to glue so that simplifies that. Me & My big idea pocket pages scrapbooks she wouldn't even have to glue everything just slides in little pockets in the pages. Or even just encourage her with a more traditional album to put together memories & write out some journalling about the photos.
posted by wwax at 7:05 AM on August 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
Tapestries can also be done on a stand depending on if she could hold a needle or not. If not punch needle embroidery/knitting uses a larger easy to hold punch and thicker yarn again using a stand so it can be done one handed though.
If she has a bird feeder & likes birds she could join the Cornell eBird program tracking the birds she sees arrive & when. If she doesn't have a feeder & a bird bath they can be great to give you some sense of being connected to the outside world & it's fun watching the visitors to your garden.
If she liked scrapbooking, digital scrapbooking is a thing, or there is no reason why she couldn't do simple scrapbooks with one hand as you can buy everything precut now a days & it would give her a lovely reason to go through old photos. You use a tape roller to glue so that simplifies that. Me & My big idea pocket pages scrapbooks she wouldn't even have to glue everything just slides in little pockets in the pages. Or even just encourage her with a more traditional album to put together memories & write out some journalling about the photos.
posted by wwax at 7:05 AM on August 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
If she’s interested, helping her adopt a pet from a local shelter could be terrific. You could pay for all of the initial equipment and medical stuff, like chipping, as well as the fee.
posted by carmicha at 7:06 AM on August 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by carmicha at 7:06 AM on August 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
I agree with chesty_a_arthur! Container gardening can be a lot of fun. A few potted plants and an acrylic birdfeeder suction-cupped to the window can be really fulfilling without being overwhelming. I say container gardening specifically because then the plants can be in freestanding windowboxes or on windowsills and your mother won't have to bend. Personally, I like to listen to the radio or a podcast/audiobook while puttering around with the plants and feeder and all that. Really a nice way to pass the time.
Painting ready-to-paint ceramic figurines is low-commitment and something she can do while watching TV. I'm a dork and then put my painted figurines in my plant containers like little fairy gardens. Making fairy gardens or even terrariums might be fun for her, though.
posted by rue72 at 7:11 AM on August 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
Painting ready-to-paint ceramic figurines is low-commitment and something she can do while watching TV. I'm a dork and then put my painted figurines in my plant containers like little fairy gardens. Making fairy gardens or even terrariums might be fun for her, though.
posted by rue72 at 7:11 AM on August 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
If this was last week I would not have thought to say D&D, but this Sunday's post has me thinking... why not? Or some other RPG perhaps?
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 7:44 AM on August 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by The Pluto Gangsta at 7:44 AM on August 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
Not a direct suggestion, but out of curiosity I googled "one arm crafts" and got BAZILLIONS of results, many of them focused on people who've had strokes. Take a look. Apparently this is a really common issue!
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:56 AM on August 27, 2019 [7 favorites]
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:56 AM on August 27, 2019 [7 favorites]
p.s. An occupational therapist might have ideas about tools that would enable her to do her old crafts one-handed.
posted by Murderbot at 8:01 AM on August 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Murderbot at 8:01 AM on August 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
Is it her dominant arm? Maybe joining a handwritten penpal program, or even just starting to write notes to family members and old friends, if that's not something she already does.
On the crafts front: decoupage, painting or, especially, mosaics?
When you say she gets frustrated at simple games, that suggests some mental impairment. Is that the case? If not, maybe she's be interested in some phone-based volunteering, which might also help provide a sense of purpose. Another volunteering possibility is reading books aloud and recording them. I know you said she doesn't like to read, but maybe she'd find reading aloud for the sake of other people, or reading children's books aloud, a more appealing kind of experience.
Is she staying in touch with friends and family in general? Does she have a support network other than you? Does she feel a lack of human contact, and do you have reason to feel she might be dealing with depression? There are programs in some places where people call or come visit the elderly or housebound, and it might be worth trying to look into any services available to her that could provide any sort of interaction, including things like occupational therapy, a personal trainer, physical therapy, actual therapy, massages... (these may or may not be affordable, or available through services she qualifies for). If there's an active senior center in her area, you might try taking her there a few times just to see if she gets something out of it. If it turns out that she does, it might be easier at that point to sell her on taking transportation by herself to get there.
posted by trig at 8:44 AM on August 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
On the crafts front: decoupage, painting or, especially, mosaics?
When you say she gets frustrated at simple games, that suggests some mental impairment. Is that the case? If not, maybe she's be interested in some phone-based volunteering, which might also help provide a sense of purpose. Another volunteering possibility is reading books aloud and recording them. I know you said she doesn't like to read, but maybe she'd find reading aloud for the sake of other people, or reading children's books aloud, a more appealing kind of experience.
Is she staying in touch with friends and family in general? Does she have a support network other than you? Does she feel a lack of human contact, and do you have reason to feel she might be dealing with depression? There are programs in some places where people call or come visit the elderly or housebound, and it might be worth trying to look into any services available to her that could provide any sort of interaction, including things like occupational therapy, a personal trainer, physical therapy, actual therapy, massages... (these may or may not be affordable, or available through services she qualifies for). If there's an active senior center in her area, you might try taking her there a few times just to see if she gets something out of it. If it turns out that she does, it might be easier at that point to sell her on taking transportation by herself to get there.
posted by trig at 8:44 AM on August 27, 2019 [1 favorite]
Does she like music? Some instruments can be played with only one hand.
Could you take her to a big craft store and see if anything looks good to her? They have so much stuff; maybe something would be appealing.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 2:41 PM on August 27, 2019
Could you take her to a big craft store and see if anything looks good to her? They have so much stuff; maybe something would be appealing.
posted by still_wears_a_hat at 2:41 PM on August 27, 2019
A tabletop or freestanding hoop that holds the fabric will let her cross stitch or embroider with one hand. I would get a pre-printed simple kit in a design of something that you would also appreciate and ask her if she would make it for you or someone else in her life to motivate her to finish it. She can work on it then while she watches Netflix.
You might also get some - I don't know what it's called but the craft store will know, a non-stick sliding mat? I use my yoga mat in a pinch - about the size of whatever her coffee table or where she likes to work/craft is. Then when she's working on something a bit fiddly, things won't shift around and she can put them down more easily with one hand.
For crochet, the big hooks with the soft fat yarn meant for blankets with very simple stitches that make for beginner projects are satisfying and easier to progress through and handle than tiny stitches. If she really misses knitting, there are ways to knit with one hand using a straight needle held under the arm firmly, but crochet is definitely easier single-hand.
I am also going to recommend Stardew Valley as a very soothing easy to play game that is essentially a pleasant clicker farming RPG. There's no penalty if you make mistakes, and you can pick it up and put it down and it is designed to be 8-bit Xanax. The tablet version is good.
Does she have social interaction sorted out? This is just hobbies for the other time? I kill all my houseplants but I'm good with pets, so if she is up for a pet, then you know, a cat will pretty much consume your waking hours happily.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 9:51 PM on August 27, 2019
You might also get some - I don't know what it's called but the craft store will know, a non-stick sliding mat? I use my yoga mat in a pinch - about the size of whatever her coffee table or where she likes to work/craft is. Then when she's working on something a bit fiddly, things won't shift around and she can put them down more easily with one hand.
For crochet, the big hooks with the soft fat yarn meant for blankets with very simple stitches that make for beginner projects are satisfying and easier to progress through and handle than tiny stitches. If she really misses knitting, there are ways to knit with one hand using a straight needle held under the arm firmly, but crochet is definitely easier single-hand.
I am also going to recommend Stardew Valley as a very soothing easy to play game that is essentially a pleasant clicker farming RPG. There's no penalty if you make mistakes, and you can pick it up and put it down and it is designed to be 8-bit Xanax. The tablet version is good.
Does she have social interaction sorted out? This is just hobbies for the other time? I kill all my houseplants but I'm good with pets, so if she is up for a pet, then you know, a cat will pretty much consume your waking hours happily.
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 9:51 PM on August 27, 2019
Response by poster: Thanks all, some great ideas in here! I didn't mention but she does have a dog, but otherwise probably is very lonely. I live 2 hours away and go every few weeks to visit, get her groceries, and do general household chores, but she doesn't have a lot of friends that come visit. She has had therapy (speech, OT, PT) on and off but since they can't really do much more for her medically, medicare won't pay for them to come indefinitely.
Some of these craft ideas are great and things I had no thought of though. I'm planning to buy a wide variety of things for her to try and hopefully something will work!
posted by tryniti at 6:43 AM on August 28, 2019
Some of these craft ideas are great and things I had no thought of though. I'm planning to buy a wide variety of things for her to try and hopefully something will work!
posted by tryniti at 6:43 AM on August 28, 2019
Loom knitting can be done with one hand, a basic kit is pretty inexpensive.
posted by Valancy Rachel at 7:13 AM on August 28, 2019
posted by Valancy Rachel at 7:13 AM on August 28, 2019
This sounds like my mother, who is in a similar state and bored, with cognitive loss. One thing she enjoys is mail, including getting magazines & her daily newspaper. But what really makes a difference is receiving postcards/letters/cards from her children, grandchildren, & others. For her birthday, one granddaughter put out a call and lots of people--relatives, strangers & others--sent her cards saying Happy Birthday from a friend of R with a short note about something simple in their town, life, or the weather. It was fun and appreciated. My daughter sends postcards weekly. My SIL is good about sending pictures of great grandchildren, trips, whatever. All of this helps her feel connected and remembered. Can you organize her relatives & friends--and yours--to send her mail? Phone calls are good, too, which can be tough with my mother because of aphasia, but it is worth the effort.
My mother was a couture level seamstress and could knit beautifully & effortlessly (we say, in the dark, with her eyes closed) so the loss of her arm movement was awful for her and for us. She has not caught on with any crafts or one-handed weaving etc, because she wants a real and usual product and the results of those she's tried have been haphazard at best. 'Make work' is her definition.
posted by Nosey Mrs. Rat at 7:42 PM on September 1, 2019
My mother was a couture level seamstress and could knit beautifully & effortlessly (we say, in the dark, with her eyes closed) so the loss of her arm movement was awful for her and for us. She has not caught on with any crafts or one-handed weaving etc, because she wants a real and usual product and the results of those she's tried have been haphazard at best. 'Make work' is her definition.
posted by Nosey Mrs. Rat at 7:42 PM on September 1, 2019
This thread is closed to new comments.
There are some great narrators these days, and she could listen to them while sipping tea or lying down or patting a cat.
posted by Murderbot at 6:22 AM on August 27, 2019 [2 favorites]