Tips on seeing magistrate for protective order
June 26, 2019 8:58 PM Subscribe
Tomorrow i'm going to see the magistrate to try to get a protective order. I am in Virginia, and the police have already verbally issued an order and told her she'd be arrested if she contacted me. No physical violence has occurred. I do not need general legal or safety advice, but I've never petitioned a magistrate before for this and don't know what to expect.
In person I'm articulate and friendly but I know I can also come off as headstrong, and I don't know how assertive to be, like how to advocate without it seeming pushy and unsympathetic. For instance, does it usually work better to just be direct and professional or to show a lot of emotion? I'm looking for tips like that, just so I can get a handle on other things that might help him/her decide in my favor. Again, I don't need legal advice on the situation and I am safe now, but I'd love to hear more about the magistrate process itself.
In person I'm articulate and friendly but I know I can also come off as headstrong, and I don't know how assertive to be, like how to advocate without it seeming pushy and unsympathetic. For instance, does it usually work better to just be direct and professional or to show a lot of emotion? I'm looking for tips like that, just so I can get a handle on other things that might help him/her decide in my favor. Again, I don't need legal advice on the situation and I am safe now, but I'd love to hear more about the magistrate process itself.
Present facts clearly as possible. They are trying to make a decision if this warrants legal intervention, they need to know what has happened, how often, what other interventions have been done to stop this person, what relation you have (if any, do you know this person, is it a neighbor, a relationship). You can include what impacts this contact has had on you including emotional, time, injuries, etc. Timelines are useful and any notes you may have are useful to bring for your own reference and copies to show if requested.
It is OK to be emotional but the goal is to express the above in a way that is easily understandable and presents why legal action needs to be taken.
Sometimes there are advocates present at the courthouse, it depends on the exact location what services may be offered. Feel free to ask ahead of time, that's what they are there to do. They may have exact knowledge of the person you will be presenting the case to, and can just be a reassuring person.
posted by AlexiaSky at 10:30 PM on June 26, 2019 [2 favorites]
It is OK to be emotional but the goal is to express the above in a way that is easily understandable and presents why legal action needs to be taken.
Sometimes there are advocates present at the courthouse, it depends on the exact location what services may be offered. Feel free to ask ahead of time, that's what they are there to do. They may have exact knowledge of the person you will be presenting the case to, and can just be a reassuring person.
posted by AlexiaSky at 10:30 PM on June 26, 2019 [2 favorites]
I filed once, in Illinois, based on advice given to me by a legal aide group. I had to go to the courthouse and fill out a document. The lawyer told me to also fill out items belonging to me, as it was against my ex, whom I shared living quarters with. These items were my own personal property, so that he could not, for example, take my personal computer, or my rocking chair, or go to our house and take these things (he was already required to stay away for 3 days due to domestic violence and being arrested for such, this gave me time to get my stuff together and remove it from the house, and prevented him from saying it was his, a thing he tried to do when I was temporarily staying with friends, she showed him the document and told him to get lost, as the stuff was in her garage until I could move out of the area -- I'd left on a bus, and went back and retrieved the items a week later).
After filling out and signing the form, I was led to an empty courtroom. A clerk or assistant took my paperwork into a back room, and a judge signed it. I never saw the judge. Then they entered it into the system and I got a copy. I think it was for a year, but since I moved out of the area immediately, and was with family members who would protect me (he was afraid of my brothers), it didn't need enforcing, tho' he did write to my Dad once to tell him I was crazy, he'd never really shoved me (despite the goose egg on my head), and also sent a box of junk that I'd left behind, along with an old hospital bill, and divorce papers (thank goodness for that! He saved me an extra trip back to Illinois).
In short, I never saw or spoke to the judge. I was present at another similar situation, dressed nicely, spoke clearly and didn't volunteer information unless asked by the judge. He seemed intent on getting to the bottom of the matter, and moving on with his day. I'd say clear and concise is best, don't waste their time. If you are emotional, that's to be expected, but make sure you have all the facts, not just extra stuff like, "she is a backstabber!" because that's extra information that just takes up their time and makes you look petty. IANAL, etc.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 2:50 AM on June 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
After filling out and signing the form, I was led to an empty courtroom. A clerk or assistant took my paperwork into a back room, and a judge signed it. I never saw the judge. Then they entered it into the system and I got a copy. I think it was for a year, but since I moved out of the area immediately, and was with family members who would protect me (he was afraid of my brothers), it didn't need enforcing, tho' he did write to my Dad once to tell him I was crazy, he'd never really shoved me (despite the goose egg on my head), and also sent a box of junk that I'd left behind, along with an old hospital bill, and divorce papers (thank goodness for that! He saved me an extra trip back to Illinois).
In short, I never saw or spoke to the judge. I was present at another similar situation, dressed nicely, spoke clearly and didn't volunteer information unless asked by the judge. He seemed intent on getting to the bottom of the matter, and moving on with his day. I'd say clear and concise is best, don't waste their time. If you are emotional, that's to be expected, but make sure you have all the facts, not just extra stuff like, "she is a backstabber!" because that's extra information that just takes up their time and makes you look petty. IANAL, etc.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 2:50 AM on June 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
Have a clear list of the behavior you want to stop with examples to show why you need/want the order. It doesn't hurt to sit down before hand & make notes. Include times & dates.
"She's driving me crazy" is a not going to cut it. "She entered my workplace on 3 separate occasions (dates) & berated me in front of customers & my managers" "She followed me home on x date & did y things and I felt unsafe. " They want provable things if possible not what you think of her or that you "think" she is doing. They need evidence so only things that you've seen or experienced her doing personally, if you have any evidence (texts or photos for example) bring it along just in case they want to see it. Keep your answers short & to the point.
Keep your reactions normal for you, the judge will have seen it all & will know if you're putting it on, but most will be fine with normal emotional reactions to stressful situations.
posted by wwax at 7:09 AM on June 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
"She's driving me crazy" is a not going to cut it. "She entered my workplace on 3 separate occasions (dates) & berated me in front of customers & my managers" "She followed me home on x date & did y things and I felt unsafe. " They want provable things if possible not what you think of her or that you "think" she is doing. They need evidence so only things that you've seen or experienced her doing personally, if you have any evidence (texts or photos for example) bring it along just in case they want to see it. Keep your answers short & to the point.
Keep your reactions normal for you, the judge will have seen it all & will know if you're putting it on, but most will be fine with normal emotional reactions to stressful situations.
posted by wwax at 7:09 AM on June 27, 2019 [2 favorites]
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posted by vrakatar at 10:06 PM on June 26, 2019 [1 favorite]