Books to promote empathy: What books kept you from becoming worse?
May 7, 2019 12:17 AM   Subscribe

I'm looking to find some formative books to promote empathy and understanding of others in my kids. I remember a few books which taught a lesson about not being a cruel person, how to be considerate, and how not to cultivate feelings of vindictiveness or revenge. What books do you think kept you from becoming a worse version of yourself? What books vaccinated you against racism or selfishness? Age range for this is 5-12 years old so no Vonnegut quite yet. No holy books, but religious-themed books such as C.S. Lewis' The Great Divorce or Screwtape Letters would be fine.
posted by benzenedream to Media & Arts (22 answers total) 22 users marked this as a favorite
 
Stargirl is an age-appropriate story about kindness, individuality, and non-conformity. It is a little cheesy, but honestly even as a certified grown-up I found it pretty engrossing. A movie is also in the works.

Also the American Girl books that go with each doll character have a lot of these themes. My faves were Felicity and Addy but YMMV.
posted by BusyBusyBusy at 3:05 AM on May 7, 2019 [3 favorites]


Wonder? My son read it last year (age 8) and still occasionally talks about it. I haven't seen the movie but I hear it's not really worthwhile (unlike the book).
posted by Shazbot at 3:50 AM on May 7, 2019 [2 favorites]


Quite a few children’s classics do this kind of thing very well. The Railway Children teaches courage, kindness and empathy for strangers; Enid Blyton’s The Family at Red Roofs is also good on perseverance, courage and kindness. Both have potentially upsetting themes of loss of a parent—not permanent in either case—so they may be better for older children who can cope with those themes.

I second the recommendation of the Earthsea books—with a reservation that the fourth book in the series, Tehanu, is only suitable for older teenagers given its themes of sexual violence and child abuse. Otherwise, they are great books about ambition, self-acceptance, and humility and suitable for kids around 10-13.
posted by Aravis76 at 4:03 AM on May 7, 2019 [1 favorite]


Best answer: I'd recommend "Crow Boy", by Taro Yashima. I had it as a child and it certainly evoked empathy for the titular character, who is an outsider in school. The story has stayed with me my entire life, and it is one of my go-to gift books for young children.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/014050172X/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_8qy0CbMX3H3WZ
posted by juggler at 6:15 AM on May 7, 2019


Old one but it stuck with me for life - Pollyanna.
posted by maxg94 at 6:27 AM on May 7, 2019 [1 favorite]


> how not to cultivate feelings of vindictiveness

...so no Roald Dahl then, eh

Seriously though, I feel that for some reason, A Wrinkle in Time (etc.) did something for me in that respect... plus or minus the religious undercurrent, there's a theme of altruism that stuck with me.

Also, overall, I believe that the usefulness of reading during that time pretty much scales with volume. My real advice is, have a very large and very accessible bookshelf, and exposure to ideas will do the rest.
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 6:40 AM on May 7, 2019 [5 favorites]


The Egypt Game by Zilpha Keatly Snyder contains good lessons about the value of people despite their differences, and not judging based on appearances. Also it won a Newbery. Excellent even for younger kids.
posted by heatherlogan at 7:11 AM on May 7, 2019 [4 favorites]


Seconding A Wrinkle in Time. I don't know if I could tell you why -- Meg triumphs over IT with love? The whole story revolving around saving a little more of the universe? The Mrs. W's are altruism personified. I loved most of the rest of L'Engle's books, though they are definitely Christian (in a kind of loose, vaguely Protestant/vaguely Gnostic?) way. Not evangelical at all, if that makes sense.

Agree that access is best -- and make sure that there are good books about people different than your children's race/gender/cultural background/class. Considering the way YA has blown up since I was that age, you should have a plethora of choice!
posted by kalimac at 7:34 AM on May 7, 2019 [4 favorites]


Someone handed me The Pigman by Paul Zindel when I was a young teen. A bit heavy-handed, but an easy and interesting read with good characterization. I’m unsure what (if any) effect it had on my ethical / empathic development, but I still remember it ~45 years later.
posted by doctor tough love at 8:00 AM on May 7, 2019 [3 favorites]


At the lower end of your age range, I recommend Horton Hears a Who and The Lorax. Great for reading out loud.
posted by rd45 at 8:48 AM on May 7, 2019


Best answer: I came here to suggest The Chronicles of Prydain series, which are some of the few books from childhood I have held on to. This article is a good articulation of why I think it fits your ask.
posted by gudrun at 9:05 AM on May 7, 2019 [3 favorites]


Best answer: If CS Lewis is ok, give Narnia books a try. I read them myself at about age 10 for the first time and a few times since.
My son who is 10 now found them very absorbing. All of them include values such as empathy, generousity, selflessness.
The movies focus mostly on the action and i think don't convey the message as strongly.
posted by 15L06 at 9:14 AM on May 7, 2019 [1 favorite]


At the lowerish end of the age range, Eleanor Estes's The Hundred Dresses is a powerful story about the bullying of an immigrant child told from the point of view of a socially-insecure bystander. It's extremely perceptive about the social dynamics. It's also one of the first books I read as a child in which the consequences of your bad actions simply couldn't be fixed. (Don't worry, the victim doesn't commit suicide or anything; she just moves away to the big city.) Published in 1945, still relevant today.
posted by praemunire at 10:02 AM on May 7, 2019 [10 favorites]


Eagerly nthing Chronicles of Prydain and A Wrinkle in Time.
posted by entropyiswinning at 11:59 AM on May 7, 2019 [2 favorites]


Best answer: At the upper end of your age range, and which I started reading at an admittedly precocious age, Terry Pratchett's Discworld books. I credit Pratchett with the formation of a lot of my worldview, and while his books are hilarious and madcap and weird, there is also a lot of kindness and empathy there. The Tiffany Aching sub-series of Discworld is probably most age appropriate. There's also Pratchett's Nation, but maybe give that one a read first to see if it's appropriate for your desired age range.
posted by yasaman at 1:16 PM on May 7, 2019 [4 favorites]


Best answer: Surprised no one has mentioned Harry Potter yet. Maybe that's a given? I suppose it's not a perfect lesson about avoiding grudges. Harry does have a strong dislike against Draco and Snape. Perhaps rightly so? Overall though I think it's a great way to promote empathy. The villains in these books use weapons of hate and violence to promote the supremacy of Purebloods. The hero Harry and his friends are made of people from all sorts of backgrounds. It's hard not to feel some compassion for a loving family like the Weasleys when you see their struggles to buy school supplies every year.
posted by mundo at 2:12 PM on May 7, 2019 [5 favorites]


Best answer: There's a Boy in the Girls' Bathroom never fails to bring me to tears for how much it humanizes all its characters. I actually think all the Louis Sachar books have pretty great themes around understanding each other, as goofy as they can get.
posted by thelastpolarbear at 4:08 PM on May 7, 2019 [4 favorites]


I can directly link an increase in my personal empathy to reading two companion books when I was 11:

The classic A Dog on Barkham Street tells the story of Edward Frost, who is being bullied by Martin Hastings.

The Bully of Barkham Street tells the story of the bully over the same timeline. Blew my young mind.

Best read in that order.
posted by lockedroomguy at 5:35 PM on May 7, 2019


The Great Gilly Hopkins! It's a book from the point of view of a bully and it tells her story and why she acts that way. Be prepared to cry though, it's written by Katherine Paterson, author of bridge to terabethia and jacob i have loved.

Also nthing Louis Sachar, especially Holes. It's one of my favorite books and though it seems silly, ohhhh gosh is it the best book ever.
posted by ruhroh at 9:09 PM on May 7, 2019 [1 favorite]


Also, I think the starfish parable is effective in empowering kids by reminding them that any good deed, no matter how small, can make a big difference. And if making a difference and being a hero is attainable, it makes pettiness and cruelty less appealing.
posted by BusyBusyBusy at 12:32 AM on May 8, 2019


I'd stay away from both Dianna Wynne Jones and Orson Scott Card, as they are both entirely too skillful at getting into the mindset of someone who is feeling so alienated from other people that they are doing bad things and have backed themselves into a corner of alienation that they cannot get out of. Unless your kid is doing that, in which case they would be super to read and then discuss as quiet family therapy, a safely insulating remove from the personal, such as The Ogre Downstairs

Also if you and your kid would enjoy it, I would suggest you read books to them that are above their reading level but at the level that they would enjoy. Reading to each other is a good way of care-taking each other.
posted by Jane the Brown at 4:10 AM on May 8, 2019 [1 favorite]


Response by poster: Thanks for all the suggestions! To be clear, we have a voluminous bookshelf and go the library all the time. We are not trying to generate a curated reading list. This Ask is more about "gems" that may be hard to stumble across on your own.

Not mentioned so far: The NeverEnding Story, especially the second half where the main character turns from the chosen one into a narcissistic bad guy who betrays his friends.
posted by benzenedream at 11:24 AM on May 8, 2019 [2 favorites]


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