Will it hurt me to not shake hands at the interview? (Cold filter)

July 23, 2018 5:09 AM

I read this other post about (not) shaking hands and this is a bit different. I am getting over a pretty good cold and have an interview today.

I'd prefer not to shake the hand(s) of the interviewer, but I know this is such a cultural thing. If I just say, "I'm getting over a cold and prefer not to shake hands" will that ruin my chances? I really prefer not to spread the love. I feel somewhat better after four days of (mostly) rest, still have a pretty good intermittent cough.

I could cancel the interview, but there's no guarantee I would get another interview. By the way, I pretty much stopped shaking hands after I got pneumonia some years ago, and yes, people look at me funny. Even in church with the "peace" thing, I hate saying it to everyone there, but it seems to be the norm.

Is there a way to get out of shaking hands at this interview (at a hospital!) and hopefully not offend anyone?

posted by Rumi'sLeftSock to Health & Fitness (16 answers total)

I would think that in an interview something like: "Just recovering from a cold, in case I'm still contagious I'd rather not shake hands," would be perfectly fine.

This said, depending on the industry, this may be very difficult to do on an ongoing basis. Is it your preference to not shake hands going forward?
posted by frumiousb at 5:21 AM on July 23, 2018 [3 favorites]

I think for most people, if you hold your hands up and say, "Hey, I'm getting over a cold" they will be fine with it. Especially if it's in a hospital. On the other hand, hospitals are chock-full of hand sanitizer stations these days.

Depending on the hospital, where you'll be interviewing and for what position, I'd probably have more concern about being in the building at all. Considering that it's a medical care facility, you might consider calling in, telling the interviewer that you're at the tail end of a cold and asking if they would prefer that you postpone the interview a few days.


The interpersonal impact of never shaking hands at all -- if I'm reading you correctly -- is harder to characterize. I've known one or two people who were not obviously medically fragile and didn't shake hands. I wouldn't say that it resulted in any obvious social cost for these people, but it was certainly something that was noted and mentioned. Some people did think it was strange, thought they might be germaphobes, etc. I can see situations in which it could be socially and/or professionally disadvantageous to be "the person who doesn't shake hands." Discrete but frequent use of hand sanitizer seems like a better idea.
posted by slkinsey at 5:26 AM on July 23, 2018 [3 favorites]

It's hard to say for sure how the interviewers will perceive this, but I have a hard time imagining them interpreting it negatively if you tell them you don't want to get them sick. I've conducted interviews before, and i'd think the interviewee was a thoughtful, caring person if they said "oh, I'd rather not shake hands right now. I'm getting over a cold and I doubt I'm contagious anymore, but I don't want to risk spreading the cold." I'd suspect the fact that it's a hospital means your health-consciousness will look even better.

That said, I'd be miffed if (1) you were sick enough that you should've rescheduled the interview (people coming to work sick and spreading it is one of my pet peeves, even if they're constantly lysol-ing their hands), or (2) you just said "I don't shake hands" without explanation. I agree with slkinsey's points.
posted by ersatzhuman at 5:38 AM on July 23, 2018 [4 favorites]

Might be better to phrase it as more a concern for their health than, in a sense, a choice you're imposing on them. Less "I'm getting over a cold and prefer not to shake hands" and more, "Oh, I just got over a cold, probably best not to shake hands just to be safe." or something to that effect.
posted by gusottertrout at 5:53 AM on July 23, 2018 [1 favorite]

Honestly, on this one-off occasion, I'd wash my hands thoroughly before going in, be mindful not to put my hands near my mouth/nose for the 5-10 minutes between doing that and going into the interview, and then shake hands without mentioning the cold. Don't let that be the thing that you stand out for at interview with people who've never met you before, and who you want to impress. (And if your cold is so bad that you still need to wipe your nose very regularly, consider offering to reschedule completely).

Longer term, you presumably already know how not shaking hands generally goes down as you've been doing it for a while.
posted by penguin pie at 6:00 AM on July 23, 2018 [22 favorites]

I’m petrified of colds because when I get them, I have them for a month, and suffer badly. I’d be more upset if I shook your hand and then realized halfway through the interview that you had been sick and still touched me.

Tell the interviewer(s). I think a hospital would respect your desire to stop the spread of a virus.
posted by greermahoney at 6:06 AM on July 23, 2018

If you're still coughing and think that you still might be contagious, I would reschedule (especially in a hospital, but really that makes sense in any office...if you're not persuaded by not wanting to get people sick in general, imagine getting your interviewer sick and them knowing that you were the likely cause). Your cough could spread the cold as much as a handshake.
posted by pinochiette at 6:08 AM on July 23, 2018

Are you just concerned about spreading germs, or do you just not want to shake hands and the cold is a convenient excuse?

If the former, give the interviewer the choice. If he offers his hand, explain that you have a cold, and let him decide if he wants to take the chance or not.

If the latter, well, there's no way around people thinking you're weird, because like you said, it's a cultural thing that people expect. At least be honest with the interviewer and tell him it's just not something you do. Don't concoct some elaborate excuse.
posted by kevinbelt at 6:11 AM on July 23, 2018 [1 favorite]

If I was holding an interview and the person didn't shake hands because they were unwell to the extent they didn't want to contaminate me, especially in a hospital, I would assume you did not really understand how germs work because if you're that contagious, you shouldn't come in until you're better. I would probably remember you as the person who didn't shake hands and forget anything interesting you said.

I vote you shake hands.
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 6:24 AM on July 23, 2018 [19 favorites]

if you do decide to shake, why not arrive a few minutes early so you can wash up right before your meeting?
posted by fritillary at 6:36 AM on July 23, 2018 [2 favorites]

Also, general consensus that I’ve seen is that 5 days from start of symptoms is average for the end of contagion. So if it’s been more than 5 days, you could let them know that, which might put their minds at ease.
posted by greermahoney at 7:08 AM on July 23, 2018

Hospitals tend to be much more respectful of infectious diseases, but also--I interned at a hospital as a law student, and I have never had a workplace so aggressive about telling me that I needed to stay home if I had any whiff of illness. I think you need to contact them to ask how they'd prefer to handle this, if you genuinely think there's even the tiniest possibility that you're still contagious.

If you don't genuinely think there's a tiny possibility that you're still contagious, you should shake hands and not touch your face but especially eyes/nose/mouth until after the interview and then use some hand sanitizer and you should be fine.
posted by Sequence at 7:09 AM on July 23, 2018 [1 favorite]

I think bringing in hand sanitizer and using it right before shaking hands would be okay. Seconding that if you're that sick you may want to postpone or ask to do a phone or video interview.
posted by typecloud at 8:04 AM on July 23, 2018

Can you call and tell them what you've told us? Say you believe you're over it but you want to avoid shaking hands. Let the hiring manager tell folks in advance, or reschedule if that works better for them. I am not sure if your industry or personality could pull this off, but if I can't shake hands I say so but offer an enthusiastic fist bump instead.
posted by pazazygeek at 8:34 AM on July 23, 2018 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: I went ahead and rescheduled the interview. Just as a point of clarification: I know exactly how germs work. That's why I was hospitalized/ for 10 days before. And I am the person that stays home when I'm sick. But I am on day 6 of my cold and felt better except for the occasional cough. But I am definitely more germaphobic than the average person. I joke that I turned into Howard Hughes since my pneumonia. And I go ballistic when people cough on me, which seems to happen a lot (didn't their mothers ever teach them to cover their mouths?) My new interview is Wednesday at 7:30 a.m. ; they are on a tight schedule-- they're a hospital after all. I wasn't sick when I accepted the interview the first time.
posted by Rumi'sLeftSock at 9:37 AM on July 23, 2018 [2 favorites]

There are certain rules of etiquette, which introduce some restrictions when shaking hands. If a person is much higher than you by status or significantly exceeds you by age, then you should not stretch your hand for the handshake first, it may just hang in the air, so you should evaluate each specific situation.
posted by FlTemples at 2:08 AM on July 24, 2018