Our cat is pooping on my new flatmate's stuff. Help?
May 29, 2018 8:31 AM Subscribe
I am looking after my fiancee's cat for about a year while she finishes her studies in another country. In order to cover rent in the 2BR place i was sharing with her, i got a flatmate three weeks ago (I could not afford anything bigger than a studio on my own, which would not be great for the cat). He's a sweet boy, 8 years old, a total lovebug.....but......he only poops in the litterbox about 10% of the time and my flatmate just texted to say he pooped on her throw. How do i get this behaviour to end ASAP?
The cat is indoor-only and has been his whole life. So, my fiancee and I have had problems with the cat peeing and pooping in the wrong place since forever. He has moved transatlantically and between European countries several times now when living with only her and broadly the problem got worse with every move. He used when living in a series of studio/1BR apartments with her to pee on the bed, often at 3-4am with my fiancee sleeping in it, on sofas, on the floor....since living with me and her in the big 2BR this stopped very quickly and he now consistently pees in his litterbox, which is fantastic. We got him an extra litterbox, tried one with a lid (which he did not like), and put the litterboxes in the area of lowest foot traffic. Two litterboxes + quiet place definitely seemed to do the trick.
However, he never stopped pooping outside the litterbox basically as a norm. Often on the floor, in tucked away corners/under furniture, on the bed, on the pillow at night with me sleeping there next to him...in a whole variety of places, so putting tinfoil down would not have been effective. We started off with me having put plastic wrap over every carpeted surface of the new apartment because i was so frightened of losing the deposit and wanted to discourage him....that came up after 3 months because he wasn't peeing on it and because it was hard to live with. With a flatmate, that's not an option.
I am really worried that the flatmate, or ANY flatmate, is going to lose patience and move out, and I will be unable to pay rent on this place. She has an en-suite and I have told her not to let him in there but she has stuff/soft furnishings in the living room.... and now for the first time he's pooped on her stuff and she is not happy and wants it sorted out.
What does work is to confine him to the bathroom for 4-5 hours and he will usually poop on a mixture of the litterboxes and the tiled bathroom floor (easier to clean), but it feels cruel. I have googled for solutions but we have tried different types of litter (though not Cat Attract), multiple litterboxes, etc. His litterboxes are currently in the spare bathroom which is not ideal as I do come in there sometimes but having a flatmate means he can't have a 'cat room'. According to my fiancee, he has always done this and she was less bothered about it than the peeing as it was easier to clean up and therefore never really made an effort to change his behaviour around it before meeting me.....but I don't know how many people wouldn't care!! In the short term I could confine him to my room/the bathroom and not let him into the living room while I'm away, but where does it leave him long term? We have a cat diaper but he HATES it, escapes from it, and it's not equipped to handle pooping anyway. Please help me MeFi, I'm at the end of my rope. All the resources seem to be for cats peeing AND pooping outside the litterbox, and he's clearly more than happy to use it/knows to use it for peeing, so what's going on?
The cat is indoor-only and has been his whole life. So, my fiancee and I have had problems with the cat peeing and pooping in the wrong place since forever. He has moved transatlantically and between European countries several times now when living with only her and broadly the problem got worse with every move. He used when living in a series of studio/1BR apartments with her to pee on the bed, often at 3-4am with my fiancee sleeping in it, on sofas, on the floor....since living with me and her in the big 2BR this stopped very quickly and he now consistently pees in his litterbox, which is fantastic. We got him an extra litterbox, tried one with a lid (which he did not like), and put the litterboxes in the area of lowest foot traffic. Two litterboxes + quiet place definitely seemed to do the trick.
However, he never stopped pooping outside the litterbox basically as a norm. Often on the floor, in tucked away corners/under furniture, on the bed, on the pillow at night with me sleeping there next to him...in a whole variety of places, so putting tinfoil down would not have been effective. We started off with me having put plastic wrap over every carpeted surface of the new apartment because i was so frightened of losing the deposit and wanted to discourage him....that came up after 3 months because he wasn't peeing on it and because it was hard to live with. With a flatmate, that's not an option.
I am really worried that the flatmate, or ANY flatmate, is going to lose patience and move out, and I will be unable to pay rent on this place. She has an en-suite and I have told her not to let him in there but she has stuff/soft furnishings in the living room.... and now for the first time he's pooped on her stuff and she is not happy and wants it sorted out.
What does work is to confine him to the bathroom for 4-5 hours and he will usually poop on a mixture of the litterboxes and the tiled bathroom floor (easier to clean), but it feels cruel. I have googled for solutions but we have tried different types of litter (though not Cat Attract), multiple litterboxes, etc. His litterboxes are currently in the spare bathroom which is not ideal as I do come in there sometimes but having a flatmate means he can't have a 'cat room'. According to my fiancee, he has always done this and she was less bothered about it than the peeing as it was easier to clean up and therefore never really made an effort to change his behaviour around it before meeting me.....but I don't know how many people wouldn't care!! In the short term I could confine him to my room/the bathroom and not let him into the living room while I'm away, but where does it leave him long term? We have a cat diaper but he HATES it, escapes from it, and it's not equipped to handle pooping anyway. Please help me MeFi, I'm at the end of my rope. All the resources seem to be for cats peeing AND pooping outside the litterbox, and he's clearly more than happy to use it/knows to use it for peeing, so what's going on?
I think you need to keep the cat in your bedroom, unfortunately. All of the time until you're living somewhere else without a roommate.
posted by pinochiette at 8:54 AM on May 29, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by pinochiette at 8:54 AM on May 29, 2018 [4 favorites]
I have a bunch of ideas. Apologies if you've already tried any of this. I know it's expensive, but why not try cat attract? Worst case scenario nothing changes. I got a kitten with severe diarrhea who insisted on going to the bathroom exclusively on my bedroom pillow to use the box consistently. Once that was the new habit, I went back to normal litter and the kitten adjusted just fine. Also you haven't mentioned a vet visit, which is a good idea. Cats poop in plain sight out of distress. Or at least, a desire to be seen. It's a way for the cat to say, HEY I'M HERE. You took on a roommate without cat's permission, cat is choosing new roommate's throw to make it smell like cat. The bathroom isn't a bad idea. For a short time, your roommate should keep anything precious out of kitty's way. You can use a feliway diffuser too. They don't fix everything, but they do help. I also hate to ask this but... Is the poop normal? If the kitty is having diarrhea or constipation their patience for the box goes out the window.
posted by Bistyfrass at 9:03 AM on May 29, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Bistyfrass at 9:03 AM on May 29, 2018 [2 favorites]
People recommend Feliway as kitty chill-out medicine, and I'd try it. Litter box must be kept super-clean, and use a consistent litter brand. I would confine kitty to a bathroom with a baby gate (2 if necessary, stacked; some kitties ar good jumpers). Make it comfy with a nice kitty bed.
posted by theora55 at 9:33 AM on May 29, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by theora55 at 9:33 AM on May 29, 2018 [1 favorite]
Best answer: How often do you scoop the litter box and change the litter? If you're not scooping twice a day and changing the litter in full once a week, increase your frequency.
posted by kate blank at 10:03 AM on May 29, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by kate blank at 10:03 AM on May 29, 2018 [7 favorites]
Best answer: If I were your roommate and had moved in without being told that it was a known problem that your pet pooped everywhere, we would not be friends (and yes, if I could move out I would be looking into it). I say this as someone who was in a similar situation as you at one point. There were a ton of things I tried to get my cat to exclusively use the litter box again, but while I was trying them I kept my cat in my bedroom so there would be no chance of him going on my roommate's things. It's just not reasonable to expect someone to help you pay for the place you want to live in while your pet poops all over said place.
I say this because you seem to be ambivalent as to whether or not you're going to keep him confined right now - you really do need to. There may be some longer-term solutions that will enable the cat to have access to the whole home again, but until you figure out what those are you absolutely need to eliminate the possibility of him pooping on your roommate's things. Spend a lot of time with him in your bedroom, play with him a ton while he's in there, bring in the Feliway and Cat Attract and enriching toys - but step one needs to be keeping your cat away from your roommate's possessions.
posted by DingoMutt at 10:28 AM on May 29, 2018 [15 favorites]
I say this because you seem to be ambivalent as to whether or not you're going to keep him confined right now - you really do need to. There may be some longer-term solutions that will enable the cat to have access to the whole home again, but until you figure out what those are you absolutely need to eliminate the possibility of him pooping on your roommate's things. Spend a lot of time with him in your bedroom, play with him a ton while he's in there, bring in the Feliway and Cat Attract and enriching toys - but step one needs to be keeping your cat away from your roommate's possessions.
posted by DingoMutt at 10:28 AM on May 29, 2018 [15 favorites]
I was a roommate to a cat that pooped outside the litter box. Luckily it wasn't all over my stuff, but I second the question and advice regarding cleaning the litter boxes. My roommate cleaned the litter box maybe once a week and replaced the litter once a month? Whenever I cat sat, I cleaned it more often and occasionally he would actually poop in it.
posted by purple_bird at 10:48 AM on May 29, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by purple_bird at 10:48 AM on May 29, 2018 [2 favorites]
Best answer: This is a long shot, but if you haven't taken him to the vet *and specifically asked about his anal glands*, it might be worth it. Apparently they aren't as often a problem in cats as in dogs, but they can get impacted and make pooping very uncomfortable - and discomfort when going is one of the reliable ways to make a cat try lots of new spots to go.
(My elderly kitty just had an anal gland rupture (super gross!) and once it was cleared she went from "Oh well, it's going to be time to say goodbye soon" back to "How many lives does this cat HAVE??!" Absolutely it was a problem for her quality of life, probably for months, but there were no distinct symptoms - other than pooping outside the box, which had never been a problem for her before, unlike peeing.)
posted by restless_nomad at 12:42 PM on May 29, 2018 [1 favorite]
(My elderly kitty just had an anal gland rupture (super gross!) and once it was cleared she went from "Oh well, it's going to be time to say goodbye soon" back to "How many lives does this cat HAVE??!" Absolutely it was a problem for her quality of life, probably for months, but there were no distinct symptoms - other than pooping outside the box, which had never been a problem for her before, unlike peeing.)
posted by restless_nomad at 12:42 PM on May 29, 2018 [1 favorite]
If you haven't checked with a vet, you should. In my years of owning cats, cats going on soft surfaces is often their attempt to make peeing/pooping hurt less and can be a symptom of a problem.
posted by frumiousb at 3:42 PM on May 29, 2018
posted by frumiousb at 3:42 PM on May 29, 2018
See if any of this advice is helpful: https://consciouscat.net/2011/05/09/how-to-prevent-litter-box-problems/
posted by poppunkcat at 4:52 PM on May 29, 2018
posted by poppunkcat at 4:52 PM on May 29, 2018
Best answer: +1 on taking the cat to a veterinarian for a checkup to rule out any underlying health issues. If he has trouble with constipation or hairballs, or did at some point in the past, he may have started associating pooping in the litter box with discomfort or pain.
However, you may just end up having to keep him in your bedroom at times when you are not at home. My late kitty started pooping outside the litter box around age 8 and even after multiple vet consultations, diet adjustments, hairball remedy supplements, trying to identify and remove stressors, and litter box adjustments I was never able to resolve the issue completely. I ended up having to confine her to my bedroom and en-suite bathroom while I was out of the house since other members of the household were, quite reasonably, unhappy about the cat's inappropriate pooping.
It's important that this not feel like a punishment to your cat. When I was in this situation I spent a lot of time in the room with her so she wouldn't associate it with being bored, isolated, or separated from me. I'd cuddle with her, have active playtime, do work or reading in there, etc. When I was away I made sure she was well supplied with food, water, toys, scratching board, comfortable places to sleep, and so on. I basically did my best to turn it into a luxury cat relaxation and entertainment suite.
posted by 4rtemis at 4:57 PM on May 29, 2018 [1 favorite]
However, you may just end up having to keep him in your bedroom at times when you are not at home. My late kitty started pooping outside the litter box around age 8 and even after multiple vet consultations, diet adjustments, hairball remedy supplements, trying to identify and remove stressors, and litter box adjustments I was never able to resolve the issue completely. I ended up having to confine her to my bedroom and en-suite bathroom while I was out of the house since other members of the household were, quite reasonably, unhappy about the cat's inappropriate pooping.
It's important that this not feel like a punishment to your cat. When I was in this situation I spent a lot of time in the room with her so she wouldn't associate it with being bored, isolated, or separated from me. I'd cuddle with her, have active playtime, do work or reading in there, etc. When I was away I made sure she was well supplied with food, water, toys, scratching board, comfortable places to sleep, and so on. I basically did my best to turn it into a luxury cat relaxation and entertainment suite.
posted by 4rtemis at 4:57 PM on May 29, 2018 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thank you to everyone for your kind advice.
1. I do scoop the litterbox twice daily and change it every week, and there are two litterboxes available
2. I'm confining the cat overnight to the bathroom with his litterboxes, food, water and toys. The problem is that I'm away up to 12 hours a day with work in terms of unsupervised time and that the bathroom is too small for me to spend time with him in there unless I sit in the empty bathtub.
3. My roommate is not happy!! If we can't work things out, it's a six month lease and I could go move into a studio apartment, which wouldn't be great for cat either but better than being locked in 1 room I guess. She is not happy he is indoor and wants to give him time on the balcony in a harness/open more windows.
4. I am taking him to the vet June 16 to check his anal glands/health. He got a clean bill of health from them a few months ago but it can't hurt to check.
5. I have been using Feliway and am just about to order a refill.
6. The catsitter loves him and also boards pets and part of me wonders if once the six months is up it would be kinder for him to live at a big cat hotel for a bit while I stayed in a family spare room :( I worry I don't have the time/attention/space for him.
posted by MarianHalcombe at 3:25 PM on June 4, 2018
1. I do scoop the litterbox twice daily and change it every week, and there are two litterboxes available
2. I'm confining the cat overnight to the bathroom with his litterboxes, food, water and toys. The problem is that I'm away up to 12 hours a day with work in terms of unsupervised time and that the bathroom is too small for me to spend time with him in there unless I sit in the empty bathtub.
3. My roommate is not happy!! If we can't work things out, it's a six month lease and I could go move into a studio apartment, which wouldn't be great for cat either but better than being locked in 1 room I guess. She is not happy he is indoor and wants to give him time on the balcony in a harness/open more windows.
4. I am taking him to the vet June 16 to check his anal glands/health. He got a clean bill of health from them a few months ago but it can't hurt to check.
5. I have been using Feliway and am just about to order a refill.
6. The catsitter loves him and also boards pets and part of me wonders if once the six months is up it would be kinder for him to live at a big cat hotel for a bit while I stayed in a family spare room :( I worry I don't have the time/attention/space for him.
posted by MarianHalcombe at 3:25 PM on June 4, 2018
This thread is closed to new comments.
I don't think it's cruel, but if it feels so to you, you should remind yourself that you aren't treating him cruelly... your fiancee did when she allowed him to think this was acceptable behavior for years. Her tolerance for cat shit in her home has done a serious disservice to the cat, who will now be confused by attempts to modulate this behavior.
posted by schroedingersgirl at 8:50 AM on May 29, 2018 [9 favorites]