Help me enjoy vacations more!

April 19, 2018 4:50 AM

Lately I have not been able to enjoy time off from work. The lack of structure makes me batty. Help me relax for the next four days, please!

Constraints:
I have a 2-year-old so the amount of structure I can create for myself is limited
the weather is horrible

I know that I could either relax and enjoy down time or do stuff around the house, but I seem unable to do either. I obsess about what needs to be done (minor things, like organizing the pantry) but I don't do it so it keeps stressing me out, and I'm not able to focus on anything really fun. I also don't have a lot of hobbies or friends right now because of the aforementioned toddler so most of my fun stuff is not super appealing either. Help!

posted by chaiminda to Human Relations (7 answers total)

I don't have a child so this may or may not work -- but I also can get stressed out by things that need to be done, and sometimes it helps me to look at the free time I have and decide how much I will put toward "things that need to be done". Basically deciding for myself, what is enough? What is reasonable and realistic? Maybe it's 2 hours on Friday, for example, that I use to tackle that cabinet - and then I've done my duty for the weekend. (Maybe it's more or less than that.)

But then after that - I've fulfilled my obligation and the rest of the time is for something else, not for chores/things that need to be done. Because I know I can never, ever get it all done. Even I dedicated every waking minute to it. And I deserve to relax and enjoy and have some fun in my life, too.
posted by inatizzy at 5:46 AM on April 19, 2018 [5 favorites]

Sometimes on days where both I and my kid are both off work/school/daycare, I make a to-do list at the start of the day, that includes things like specific games we want to play together (my kid is older, so he gets input as well, but you could adapt for a toddler) and leisure activities I want to pursue as well as typical housekeeping stuff. So the same list will have "play a game with $toy" as well as "clean bathroom" and "read a chapter in my book."
posted by soren_lorensen at 5:53 AM on April 19, 2018 [2 favorites]

One thing I used to do when our kids were little to force myself to not be go-go-go all the time was to declare a Pajama Day - we all got to stay in our pjs, and we would treat the day like an extended slumber party. No errands, no chores, lots of waffles and movies and such. I guess you couldn't do that all four days, and maybe two is too young to understand the concept, but file it away for later (or just do it yourself)?
posted by Sweetie Darling at 6:39 AM on April 19, 2018 [1 favorite]

I would set a time limit for chores (say an hour per day) and then do one (1) thing from the chore list for the appointed time (or less, I guess, if it turns out to be a 20 minute chore). I would also pick one specific fun thing that could be done at home, as well as one fun thing that would require leaving the house. Get up, eat breakfast, do the chore, then either leave the house or do the fun thing at home, and then you'll have momentum that keeps you from being a lump all day. This is basically what soren_lorensen said, only with time limits attached. I feel less like I've just wasted a day if I've gotten a load of laundry done and folded, or given the kitchen a good cleaning, or whatever, and it doesn't have to take that long to get that feeling of accomplishment that makes the rest of the time off more rewarding.
posted by fedward at 7:48 AM on April 19, 2018

Sit down and make a list of things you "have" to do. If organising the pantry is on that list and doing that would bring you a feeling of satisfaction, then schedule a time to do that. If it's freezing are there places you can take your toddler at scheduled times to enjoy hanging out with her? Your local library may have children's programming.
posted by DarlingBri at 7:53 AM on April 19, 2018

I find when I'm home with my kids (5 and 2), I can generally accomplish 1 big thing in the morning and 1 big thing in the afternoon - my 2 year old still naps 12-2. Trying to fit more in just means I feel rushed and annoyed when things don't work out. Big things are often something like groceries, a trip to the library or pool, a walk to the park, etc. Normal chores like laundry can fit in around the big things, and organizing or deep cleaning has to be done when the kids are occupied by the other parent or asleep or out of the house. I also like to use the toddler nap time as relaxation time because I can't be banging around the house or I'll wake her up.
posted by Vicmo at 10:09 AM on April 19, 2018 [1 favorite]

I have a similar need for structure, and I am currently on staycation myself. I made an extremely dorky list of 10 things to try to "accomplish" on staycation. These are some of the items:

10. Read 10 pocket articles
5. Hike 5 miles in local parks
3. Attend 3 new breweries
1. Visit 1 museum I haven't been to before

etc etc

It was a little too ambitious (there is no way I will get through all my items), but it has forced me to have some "structure" to my days off ("today I will go to the museum next to the brewery on the other side of town")
posted by mostly vowels at 5:57 PM on April 19, 2018