Who and Where, hair edition.

March 29, 2018 12:39 PM

I'm a trans woman in Austin, and I've been letting my hair grow out for quite a while. I haven't been able to get it styled because I'm not out at work. That's about to change, and I'm ready to do something fun with it (my hair, that is). The question is, what to do, and who to have do it?

I'm looking for a stylist in Austin, Texas who is trans friendly, and will have some good ideas about how to deal with my somewhat receded hairline and naturally big forehead.

I'm also open to suggestions about styles to consider.

I've posted a couple of pictures so potential advice givers can see what I have to work with.

posted by Tabitha Someday to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (27 answers total)

Are you open to dying it? I think you'd look great as a dark brunette/redhead. Also, do you want to have a fussy style that requires product/time/effort in the morning? That may affect some of the replies.
posted by frecklefaerie at 12:55 PM on March 29, 2018 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: Good questions.

Yes, I am open to dying it.

I'd rather it be relatively low maintenance , but I might be willing to go high maintenance for a little while, for a truly awesome style.
posted by Tabitha Someday at 12:59 PM on March 29, 2018

I second the dyeing.

Also - maybe a trim/cut that'll give it more volume.
posted by spinifex23 at 12:59 PM on March 29, 2018

I can't help you with Austin recommendations, but some hints on finding the right style: talking with a new stylist about creating a new hairstyle, come prepared to state your preferences and opinions:
How frequently do you plan on having haircuts?
How much time do you want to spend on daily styling? (including, daily shampoo or no?)
Are you pro/against daily use of styling products, or are you goo-free? How about blowdryers, do you need a cut that will air-dry into the style you want, or are you willing to assist it with heat?
Are you looking for a single style that will be your new constant, or are you looking for flexibility (changing it up for workplace normal, event fancy, weekend casual/sloppy)?
posted by aimedwander at 12:59 PM on March 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

I think you'd look adorable* with side-swept bangs!

*more adorable, that is
posted by cooker girl at 1:04 PM on March 29, 2018 [16 favorites]

I came here to say side-swept bangs too, as another big forehead haver. Agree that dark brunette would be great, especially with that red lipstick in your pic.
posted by clavicle at 1:10 PM on March 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

I also think side-swept bangs would look good! You could use a little spray wax if you wanted a bit of volume like in the pictures linked--it's super easy/low-maintenance to use.
posted by Polychrome at 1:12 PM on March 29, 2018

Trimming to around collarbone level and blunting the bottom a bit along with training a side part and adding side swept bangs would look gorgeous. Color would be great, too! I'm also a believer in tinting light brows and shaping them. Darker brows are a great way to call attention to the eyes and also counter a strong lip color (which looks great on you!). Some texturizing product (sprays or powders work well on fine hair, waxes can be too heavy) will go a long way to being both low maintenance and creating volume and shape.

Please show us what you end up doing!
posted by quince at 1:27 PM on March 29, 2018 [6 favorites]

I agree - sideswept bangs are awesome (I have them and I love them). I too live in Austin and go to Peacock Salon. All the stylists are listed on their website, as well as their services and prices with a short bio so you can choose whomever you think you'll feel most comfortable with. The salon is in a great part of town, free parking and is very welcoming to all.

Post pictures when you get your new style!
posted by ATX Peanut at 2:24 PM on March 29, 2018 [3 favorites]

Bangs are great for obscuring hairlines and changing perceived face shape, they kind of readjust visual ratios very efficiently. If you're maybe uncomfortable with big chunky bangs at first though, because they can be kind of a commitment (especially if your hair doesn't grow very fast and you're very interested in preserving length) you can start with some softer fringe layers around your face, maybe around cheekbone length. These can be fun to play with and adjust in place with bobby pins or some judicious curling on the ends, and also make it easy to do many different partially-up styles with the shorter sections around your face which can feel very soft and romantic or casual and cute.
posted by Mizu at 2:56 PM on March 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

Nthing sideswept bangs and if you want to dye, I think this is a great color. However, I would 100% recommend not dying initially. If you do your hair you have to do your brows every day, and you have to deal with roots, etc. Personally I would go with an amazing cut and if you want to boost your blonde, experiment with toner. It isn't permanent but is easy to wash in at home every few weeks. As a blonde you are lucky to be able to do this, so I'd discuss the option with your stylist anyway.

PS: You look adorable and very pretty!!!
posted by DarlingBri at 3:05 PM on March 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

I concur with not dying darker. As a veteran of hair colourant experimentation bold changes take a lot of upkeep and can be tricky to shade match without it looking 'off'. But yes to highlights or subtle tones - make the most of your fair hair! Also agree on the long, side-swept fringe but do check that you can part effectively first - I have a widows peak similar to yours and fringes don't work so well for me due to the way my hair falls at my temples.

Maybe a crisper, slightly layered long or angled bob would work for you? Especially with that killer eyewear/lip combo you've got going on.
posted by freya_lamb at 4:24 PM on March 29, 2018 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Madelaine at Curl Power: http://www.curlpower101.com/

She transformed me.

Seriously Madelaine is freaking amazing.
posted by Annika Cicada at 4:32 PM on March 29, 2018

My picture in my profile pic is what Madelaine did for me. (I’m a trans woman too, BTW)
posted by Annika Cicada at 4:34 PM on March 29, 2018 [4 favorites]

You are beautiful and your hair already looks great as is!! You've already been given a lot of great suggestions but here are a few more points to consider: changing your hair can happen overnight and have a huge impact but for me and many others, it's a long-term project that I work on with my stylist. I share my vision and goals and she shares her advice: I have mousy brown hair that takes forever to grow, so while going short is easy, growing it out takes a few years (bah!) It's the same for going blonde through highlights or finding the most ideal shade of red. When my last stylist changed careers, it took me over two years to find someone new whose vision matched mine but it was worth the wait (which is good because it took forever to grow out the haircuts in between!) What I mean by all of this is that you can go bold immediately or you can do it slowly-but-surely, like go once a month or every few months for an update. If you find a stylist you trust and enjoy the experience, I hope you can treat yourself to frequent visits because you deserve it.

One more thing to consider: when you go for a bold color or cut, you tend to get a lot of attention related to your hair. Upon meeting you, people will generally see the bright red/neon blue/rainbow waterfall mermaid hair first, and you second. This can be really fun and lead to many compliments and conversations. However, it can also feel overwhelming and awkward -- just something to consider.

Good luck coming out at work, and best of luck finding a good stylist and style for you!
posted by smorgasbord at 4:53 PM on March 29, 2018 [2 favorites]

FWIW, I think your natural hair color is pretty and suits your coloring. If it's fun, play with color but don't feel like you need to.
posted by Foam Pants at 5:14 PM on March 29, 2018 [4 favorites]

Agreed with Foam Pants! I like your color. However if you’re looking for a big change, color will certainly do that for you.
posted by samthemander at 6:16 PM on March 29, 2018

Yes with the side swept bangs. Your natural color is lovely, but I think if you can incorporate some blue in there, it would really make your eyes pop. Now that the 90s are coming back, I wonder if the one streak of color will be back on trend?

PS: Your smile makes me really happy.
posted by Ruki at 7:44 PM on March 29, 2018 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: Gah! Thank you all so much for all the kind words!

I'll update my profile pic (and post a note here) once I make my decision and get the work done.
posted by Tabitha Someday at 9:08 AM on March 30, 2018 [1 favorite]

I transitioned in Austin and had a really good experience with Scarlett at Hearts and Robots. It looks like Hearts and Robots has since closed and she has her own place now. Anyway, I recommend her highly: she was really trans-friendly and supportive, and she gave great haircare advice and great haircuts.

(Congratulations!)
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:47 AM on March 30, 2018 [2 favorites]

I like your natural color and i think you would look chic with a bob and long wispy bangs.
posted by WeekendJen at 10:18 AM on March 30, 2018 [2 favorites]

Lots of cis ladies have similar hairlines to yours — ballerinas often experience bun-related receding over time, and some of us (Alyson Hannigan and me, to name a few) look like Eddie Munster from birth.

I’ll echo that side-swept bangs are your friend, as well as long layers — a good stylist might suggest tapering upward as you go back, to weight the front pieces so they’ll fall forward naturally.

Don’t part too deeply on the side — take it from a fellow five-head, it looks and feels lopsided on us. And if you have baby-fine hair, don’t let the bangs err too far on the side of “wispy” — you need some weight there too.

I vote staying in the neighbourhood of your natural colour. Adding some tone might be fun. I do see a lot of “self made” redheads learning the hard way that they can’t wear the same makeup and clothing anymore; a soft strawberry blonde might not be too far of a leap.
posted by armeowda at 2:48 PM on March 31, 2018

Response by poster: I did it! I went to Madelaine, as recommended by Annika.

I've updated my picture link with a couple of pictures.

I ended up going pretty minimalist on long-term changes. It's a little shorter, and I she put blonde(r) highlights in. The curl is temporary, and she gave me some tips on how to give my hair more volume (which I needed).

Bangs and bobs were counter-indicated, for now, because my hair thins out. a lot toward the ends. The way HRT (and possibly other meds) seem to be affecting my hair, I may be able to go for a bob this fall or winter, though.

Thank you all again for all the kind words and advice. I want to mark every one of them best answer, but that seems a little counter-productive.
posted by Tabitha Someday at 8:33 PM on March 31, 2018 [9 favorites]

SUPER CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by DarlingBri at 2:24 PM on April 1, 2018 [2 favorites]

Oh, that is a great look, and the colour is perfect! You've such a lovely smile too.
posted by freya_lamb at 2:08 AM on April 2, 2018 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Last update!

Thank you all again so much!

I added one picture to my picture page to show the hairstyle once the curls are gone. I still love it.

Everything at work has been great. No bad reactions, everyone calling be by the right name.

I wrote up a narrative version of my first day on my Tumblr (linked in my profile).
posted by Tabitha Someday at 9:56 AM on April 4, 2018 [6 favorites]

You sound so happy in your post and you look just great. I'm really pleased for you!
posted by DarlingBri at 4:32 PM on April 4, 2018 [1 favorite]