I am depressed and have recently lost my job. How do I deal with this?
March 26, 2018 2:32 PM Subscribe
I posted a question about a stressful work situation recently and ended up getting fired after declining extra work for no pay increase and unpaid overtime. It's a really long, annoying story and I don't feel like going into detail anymore but I'll likely be going on unemployment and living off that + my severance + tax return. I feel really depressed and am wondering where to go from here? Is it okay if I just spend the next couple of weeks wallowing around instead of immediately stressing out about finding a new job? Last time I quit my job I found one within a week, I'm worried that I'll jump into another stressful situation again.
I feel completely mentally drained. I feel so depressed and just lost, and very suicidal. I'm 24 and I'm in DBT therapy for my BPD/anxiety and I feel like I haven't been getting any better. I can't even fucking afford it anymore because I lost my job but it's the only thing that has made me feel less alone. I was prescribed SSRIs for anxiety from my doctor but I stopped taking them after getting weird side effects at work. I don't know if unemployment would be a good opportunity to try pills again.
My boyfriend and I get into huge, crazy fights that leave me feeling ashamed and alone for days on end. We make up and things get better but then something small sets it off, and we just can't figure out how to communicate. It happened this morning after he was leaving to go back to his place and he asked me to check the bus schedule - there was a bus coming within 15 mins and another within 8 mins. I took it personally when he said he was gonna catch the earlier bus, and when I told him I felt hurt, he got angry and we got into a fight that we still haven't resolved because we're both taking "time to cool down." I can't cool down because when we fight like that, I feel extremely invalidated and disrespected and I can't back down until I feel heard. I never felt heard.
I lost my job on Friday unexpectedly, which sucks, but the company kind of sucked anyway so there's that. They hired me as an unpaid intern and after getting fired, I found out that what they did was illegal. I had quit my previous well-paying job to work for this company because it was in the games industry, so I kind of feel foolish now. It's been 2 years since I graduated from university. I don't know how to find a job I actually like or will feel satisfied with. I feel worried that I'll be exploited again and I feel like my boyfriend doesn't respect me or my boundaries when we fight, even though he is only human and I know that dating someone with BPD can be difficult to deal with.
How do I move on from this rock bottom I've found myself in? All I can think about is how much easier it'd be if I just died. It's becoming sad. I've previously attempted to kill myself during tense moments but this week I found myself thinking about it while just sitting around. How the hell do I deal with finding a new job, paying for therapy and not going crazy from everything? I feel like a baby who hasn't learned how to be an adult and I don't know where to start. I'm really sorry if my post doesn't make any sense, I guess I'm just looking for advice and validation that this isn't the end of the world because it surely feels like it.
I feel completely mentally drained. I feel so depressed and just lost, and very suicidal. I'm 24 and I'm in DBT therapy for my BPD/anxiety and I feel like I haven't been getting any better. I can't even fucking afford it anymore because I lost my job but it's the only thing that has made me feel less alone. I was prescribed SSRIs for anxiety from my doctor but I stopped taking them after getting weird side effects at work. I don't know if unemployment would be a good opportunity to try pills again.
My boyfriend and I get into huge, crazy fights that leave me feeling ashamed and alone for days on end. We make up and things get better but then something small sets it off, and we just can't figure out how to communicate. It happened this morning after he was leaving to go back to his place and he asked me to check the bus schedule - there was a bus coming within 15 mins and another within 8 mins. I took it personally when he said he was gonna catch the earlier bus, and when I told him I felt hurt, he got angry and we got into a fight that we still haven't resolved because we're both taking "time to cool down." I can't cool down because when we fight like that, I feel extremely invalidated and disrespected and I can't back down until I feel heard. I never felt heard.
I lost my job on Friday unexpectedly, which sucks, but the company kind of sucked anyway so there's that. They hired me as an unpaid intern and after getting fired, I found out that what they did was illegal. I had quit my previous well-paying job to work for this company because it was in the games industry, so I kind of feel foolish now. It's been 2 years since I graduated from university. I don't know how to find a job I actually like or will feel satisfied with. I feel worried that I'll be exploited again and I feel like my boyfriend doesn't respect me or my boundaries when we fight, even though he is only human and I know that dating someone with BPD can be difficult to deal with.
How do I move on from this rock bottom I've found myself in? All I can think about is how much easier it'd be if I just died. It's becoming sad. I've previously attempted to kill myself during tense moments but this week I found myself thinking about it while just sitting around. How the hell do I deal with finding a new job, paying for therapy and not going crazy from everything? I feel like a baby who hasn't learned how to be an adult and I don't know where to start. I'm really sorry if my post doesn't make any sense, I guess I'm just looking for advice and validation that this isn't the end of the world because it surely feels like it.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Heya, I'm very sorry you're dealing with this right now, and it may be possible to ask about some of this on Ask MetaFilter but it'll need some editing. If you are feeling suicidal or even just in crisis please reach out to someone trained to help; there is a list of resources on this There Is Help page. -- cortex
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