Starting up a neighborhood . . . what?

March 17, 2018 4:56 AM

I recently moved to a new street that has some serious community potential. But how do I harness it?

I've recently moved with my family to a nice street (in London, if it matters.) It has been in the past not such a nice street (though beautiful old houses, etc.) but it is on the up from a safety/quality of life standpoint. It is socially and socio-economically diverse, with lots of old timers, new families, renters, people on benefits, professionals etc -- really, a wide range of people.

I've ALWAYS wanted to live on a street that did things like block parties, egg hunts, etc. esp. now that I have kids. I'd love to foster more of a sense of community of the street with baby steps. I always say hi to everyone, and most are friendly back. Some of the old timers on the street particularly have a negative view of it because of past issues and are a bit like "why would you move here?" (It depresses me.) I imagine families like ours could use support/community spirit as well. My kids and I pick up trash on the weekends on the street and sometimes we stop and chat to people who say it's a good idea -- but no one joins us.

Ok, this is getting long. What I'm asking is, what can I do to boost community spirit? I know there is potential because a few years ago a developer wanted to tear down some old houses and build a monstrous building and the community got together briefly and powerfully to protest. But once the danger was away, that fizzled.

Ideas I've had are a: neighborhood email list, a neighborhood families email list, a neighborhood families whatsapp group, a website and . . . that's it. I thought I might start the email list, print some flyers, and knock on doors to give them to people. It would be fun to also organize a block party, egg hunt for kids, babysitting circles, that kind of thing -- but that's ambitious and would require me seeing more evidence that people actually want these things (as well as help organizing them.)

Does anyone have any ideas on how to start something like this or stories of people who have? I've read through past questions and they had good ideas but I'm looking for more mechanics about how to to go about this. I really think these things probably take someone making a concerted effort and don't happen naturally.

Also, I don't want to step on toes as a newcomer -- I imagine I should reach out to old-timers first, maybe the ones who organized the previous protest?

Also, I am on Next Door but I'm not crazy about it -- it's not very good for actually getting to know people in my opinion and it's not localized enough to create the micro-community I'm hoping for. I'm also not on Facebook and will not be joining just for this. (I don't think a FB group already exists.)

Any ideas? What works in your neighborhood? THANKS!

posted by caoimhe to Society & Culture (27 answers total)

The U.S. has neighborhood watch programs that are focused on safety and coordinate with police. I don't know if the U.K. has anything similar. But it's one idea to get started.
posted by maurreen at 5:55 AM on March 17, 2018

When I was growing up, the adults in the neighborhood had a Card Club in which neighbors would take turns hosting an evening of card games. Everyone brought a snack or drinks to share. Maybe start something like that with the couple of households that you know the best, and as time goes on, those who are already in it can invite others with whom they’ve become acquainted.
posted by lakeroon at 6:13 AM on March 17, 2018 [1 favorite]

We have a neighborhood group that handles stuff like alley cleanup, summer block party/BBQs, parking issues, streetscape improvements, etc. It's a very formal non-profit corporation, registered with the government as a 401(3) that has a charter, board of directors and a regular financial audit. It was organized back in the sixties to prevent the city and state from bulldozing the area to make stadium parking-lots. Most neighborhoods in my city (Pittsburgh) have such organizations; does London not have a tradition of citizen run neighborhood groups.

In any case, every new group starts with an organizational meeting. I'd think that the best course would be to find a space big enough to have a meeting and then advertise on Facebook, NextDoor, light polls, flyers under windshield wipers, etc. Do you know who helped protest the developer a few years ago? Contact them to see if they want to help you set up a group.
posted by octothorpe at 6:18 AM on March 17, 2018

Libraries are fantastic locations to have community meetings as suggested by octothorpe. If you don't have a library nearby, a school might work, or a church/mosque/temple/etc - if the latter is most local, please be absolutely clear about the meeting being for everyone in the community and that all will be welcome. That said, local religious leaders often have great advice and experience in community building, so forming a relationship with them could be very helpful in achieving your goals.

(An aside - you mention egg hunts twice in your question. I know it's close to Easter but this is your regular reminder that many people do not celebrate Christian holidays, something to keep in mind especially in a city as diverse as London.)

The thing I've seen work the best is keeping the focus small. When neighborhood groups get too unwieldy with responsibilities and full calendars and sub-committees, people get thrust into roles they have no skills for and others get horrendously overworked. Pick just one thing that you think would be a good fit for your street's demographics and style.

Like if there really are many families with young kids, a babysitting circle sounds great. In my old neighborhood I was in a place that established itself historically as an artistic community, we had an Arts Committee that does a parade every year and organized many local art events like an art walk to different galleries and shops, street installations, you name it. But they left other things to other groups. In my new neighborhood there's a cul-de-sac that does an annual block party, another small group that liases with local businesses to do a toddler-friendly trick-or-treat event on Halloween weekend, another small group that volunteers with different city charities every other weekend... I don't think many of the people in these groups overlap. If your neighborhood has a lot of litter, maybe you could campaign to get trash cans placed by local government, form a group around that cause? Keep it focused on a single thing and see what happens from there.
posted by Mizu at 6:55 AM on March 17, 2018 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: These are such great ideas. I LOVE the Art committee idea! And there is a library very close by.

Mizu I hadn't thought of that with egg hunts! The funny thing is London is so diverse that Christian things have become almost secular so it's not quite the "Happy Holidays" vibe you get in the UK. (People in London make fun of people like me for saying this.) For example, the schools my kids go to do nativity plays when I'd say a good 1/3 of the kids are Muslim and the parents come and sing carols and drink hot chocolate. I found it odd at first but I think it's just because people don't actually consider these things that religious. So that's why an egg hunt wouldn't be seen the same here as the in the US . . .
posted by caoimhe at 7:05 AM on March 17, 2018

I'm not sure if your area trick or treats on Halloween but we were thrilled to see that the parents on our block had come together to make it special. They got a permit to close the street and sat outside in costumes. They invited police officers to hand out BIG candies, which helped in a small way to lift some tension between the police and our youth. We're in Montreal and our trick or treating group was about 70% Muslim, for some context.
posted by eisforcool at 7:21 AM on March 17, 2018 [2 favorites]

We've used Next Door to organize a walking group and a "messy arts day". Both of these gatherings were moms with young kids. I have visions of doing a (4th of July) bike parade on our street, a lemonade stand, maybe a neighborhood yard sale, maybe a produce trading group (lots of our neighbors have fruit trees) etc.

These kinds of things are low commitment, and for people who don't have kids there's a still a way for them to participate (they can come out and cheer the parade for example). One-off low commitment events provide ways for people to get to know each other a bit, and you can use them an opportunity to ask what they might like to see happen on the street. Then you can say "give me your contact info and if I hear of other interest I'll let you know". Things happen when you've got upfront buy-in, rather than just trying to make your own idea happen.

Good luck, I really hope your street becomes what you're hoping for!
posted by vignettist at 8:00 AM on March 17, 2018 [2 favorites]

Can you have a fun open house for a few hours some afternoon to meet people? (Invite via flyers in mailboxes or by knocking on some doors. Serve coffee, tea, some kid-friendly treats.) Of the neighbors who would come to that, you can probably identify some who would be on board to help you organize more activities, and gather contact info.

I live in a big, semi-crappy building in NYC where we kind of ignore each other, but last summer my super had an informal cookout in the courtyard, and it turned out a lot of us really wanted that community feel but didn’t know how to begin. I like your ideas and motive here.
posted by kapers at 8:40 AM on March 17, 2018 [3 favorites]

“Some of the old timers on the street particularly have a negative view of it because of past issues and are a bit like "why would you move here?"
Perhaps getting to understand the old-timers’ POV might be a good start. Not everyone wants to live in a Kandy Kolored street with constant social interaction and planned noisy events. Starting a bit more low-key and making gentle connections with the long-time residents (and their history of the neighborhood) might be more sustainable. . Also, pay attention with a sensitivity to social class and local custom, too.
posted by Ideefixe at 9:33 AM on March 17, 2018 [19 favorites]

There's an ideal opportunity for a neighbourhood get-together happening on 19th May - the Royal Wedding. Perhaps that would be a suitable impetus for a street party of some kind.

When it was the Queen's Jubilee in 2012 we had a street party that was so much fun. Everyone brought food, we had tables set up, games for the kids to play (including a bran tub lucky dip which was insanely popular) and it was a chance to get to know people I've just nodded to in passing.

People in the UK tend to need a bit of coaxing to join in, but the Royal Wedding might be just the thing to break the ice.
posted by essexjan at 9:51 AM on March 17, 2018 [3 favorites]

Do you have a front porch? This won't work in winter, but in the summer we often sit out on our front porch and chat with the neighbors as they come and go and honestly I am more friendly with my neighbors here (US city of about 60K people, main-ish street just outside of downtown) than I have been anywhere else I've lived as an adult. I'm not so big on local online groups or official organized activities, but just sitting out on the porch has made a big difference in feeling attached to the neighbors and neighborhood.
posted by 2 cats in the yard at 9:59 AM on March 17, 2018 [1 favorite]

For what it’s worth, I agree with you that Nextdoor isn’t the best way to get to know people, but it is possible to create private groups that include residents of a particular block. When I joined the site I was automatically invited to a private group created for the block, and people seem to find it useful for sending out targeted notices now and then.
posted by KatlaDragon at 10:18 AM on March 17, 2018

I have a vague recollection that on the enormous Emotional Labor thread someone wrote about living in a great (suburban US) neighborhood that was great because of the many social events organized and executed by the women on the street, an unappreciated but way useful form of labor. But I don't know if it's worth it to search that thread for "neighbor" since much of it may not translate.
posted by puddledork at 10:41 AM on March 17, 2018

Some friends of mine live in a neighborhood with a lot of front porches, and they have a tradition called the beer flag. On Fridays after work, if you hang out your beer flag, everyone in the neighborhood is invited to come by for a beer (or a soda or whatever). Lots of people go for neighborhood walks on Fridays to chat with the porch-hosters and the other walking families, and other people drop in and hang out on the porch all evening. I don't know if beer flags are feasible for your neighborhood, but theirs is SO FUN!

Another really good idea I've seen in action, make a party box to lend to neighbors. The one near us would get seasonal items (spray on bug spray and sunblock) and had a variety of small-child supplies like baby sun hats. But you can make something like that and let people know it's available.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 11:10 AM on March 17, 2018 [3 favorites]

I think one way of getting more of a community is making one friend/acquaintance on your street who would like or be willing to do something similar. Talk to people about your litter picking and see if they will come and help. Once there are two of you organising something it becomes more of a thing. This approach works best if you can find someone that you would probably get on well with even if you didn't live on the same street.

I don't think the front porch idea translates exactly to London. If you live on a street with front gardens, the socially acceptable way of speaking to your neighbour is to wait until both of you are are doing some kind of chore in your front garden.

But creating community is basically about making friendly with people, finding shared interests with them and then acting on it. As you're talking to people make an effort to see if you can find something in common with them that's related to your street.
posted by plonkee at 11:50 AM on March 17, 2018 [3 favorites]

Is something like a Little Free Library or other book exchange an option for you? I have a public bookcase in my front yard and people love it. There is always a risk of vandalism, but if you feel you can handle that, I'd say go for it.
posted by Too-Ticky at 11:57 AM on March 17, 2018 [3 favorites]

> Ideas I've had are a: neighborhood email list, a neighborhood families email list, a neighborhood families whatsapp group, a website

Those are all electronic, and not everybody likes to do such things on-line. My neighbor, who is in her 80s, used to put out a paper newsletter once or twice a year (she hasn't done it recently, I should bug her) with things like what kids are going to college, who has a new dog, that sort of thing. She also put together a map of the block with the names and phone numbers of everyone. To younger people I suppose that seems terribly intrusive, but they could decline to have their information on it.

We do a block party once a year. The numbers are declining, even as more houses are going up on the street. It's sad and I hope we can turn it around.
posted by The corpse in the library at 12:44 PM on March 17, 2018

I know some people who used to set up a table and sit out in the front yard with wine and cheese on the evening before trash day. As people rolled out their cans, they could come over and say hi. Very low-key.
posted by delight at 1:31 PM on March 17, 2018 [1 favorite]

if there is a park nearby you could organize a community picnic. Choose a time and location, hopefully getting input from a few other neighbours that are into the idea, and make up flyers to distribute in the area. Everybody meets at the park with a blanket and some snacks, and you just hang out and enjoy the day. I did this a few years ago with a group of friends and it was a blast - I got a bunch of paper plates and napkins, hung some streamers from the tree where we parked ourselves, and people dropped in and hung out with dogs and frisbees and a baby and food. I also got a bunch of water pistols for the dollar store and passed them out to stir up some mayhem. Also bubbles
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 1:43 PM on March 17, 2018

1. Be outside after dinner (kids playing, drink on porch etc)
2. Something to rally around - a funky tree, a piece of furniture eg public bookcase listed above, cleaning up the local park etc
3. Street fair. It will be tiny at first but will get bigger every year, take the long approach.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 1:50 PM on March 17, 2018

Definitely start with the previous organizers.

There was an ask ages ago, where someone wanted to get to know their neighbors better. One of the answer posts boiled down to: solicit their advice about something house-related. In this answer, which I cannot find and am possibly embroidering upon, the new resident just milled around by the edge of their yard/edge of the sidewalk, looking indecisive, on a Saturday morning (in the course of performing regular yard maintenance). Passersby felt compelled to ask what was up and weigh in. Small talk arose from there, and then neighbors were somewhat invested in ___ (the new paint color, the upgraded fence, the flowers which were planted, etc.) and that led to further conversation.

[Brief data point -- if I saw my neighbor and their kids tidying up the street, I, too, would applaud their efforts but not join them. Since there are children involved, it would feel really presumptuous to me. If it was a single adult person, or a couple of adults, and I had the time to spare, I would not have the same reservation.]
posted by Iris Gambol at 2:40 PM on March 17, 2018 [5 favorites]

A few years ago when my wife was out of town, I did a bunch of baking and, being unable to eat everything I baked, randomly knocked on people's doors and delivered desserts and whatnot. Others have taken this up, just last weekend we got a knock on the door as we were sitting down to breakfast and got biscuits.

We've gotten great responses from pot luck announcements on Nextdoor: "Hey, there was a deal on ribs so I've got the smoker going, I'm sitting down to eat at 6, come buy if you want some" and poof, dinner.

n-thing all the "eat dinner out on the front porch" suggestions. We re-landscaped to put flagstone and plants in place of our front lawn, eat out there in the summer, and get lots of drop-ins.
posted by straw at 2:58 PM on March 17, 2018

I came in to suggest organising a block party for the Royal Wedding, but essexjan beat me to it. It's the Done Thing and they'll be happening everywhere, so it won't come out of the blue for your neighbours. It's also a one-off occasion, so there shouldn't be any implied expectation of commitment to future events like you might get with something similar on an annual holiday. I bet the response you get (and extent of buy in) will be informative.
posted by Eumachia L F at 3:10 PM on March 17, 2018 [1 favorite]

This expat Aussie living in London for the best part of 20 years has just realised she's been here a while as the whole idea of someone knocking on my door and asking me to become a part of my street has given me the heebie-jeebies!

BUT I am kind of involved in community building for my day job in another bit of London and I would suggest approaching your local council and asking for help and advice. Are there existing community groups in your area, perhaps based out of a local estate or playground who might have advice? It's easier to build from something that's there, than from scratch - but there will be someone at your local council who can advise.

Re Royal Wedding Street Parties - compared to 2011, nobody in my community networks seems to be doing anything. For starters, there's just not the spare money around thanks to those huge cuts. But - but try here for starters - especially as those are good general links for organising a local event.

Perhaps print up some coloured flyers and pop them through doors inviting people to contact you if interested?
posted by ozgirlabroad at 1:34 AM on March 18, 2018

Also, SO MUCH of this will depend on where in London you live, I've found! Even from one end of the same ward. I've just moved away from the heart of Deptford and have loved the community building going on there, especially due to a grassroots group trying to keep the area together through a wave of gentrification (I couldn't afford to stay in area due to even shared ownership house prices going from totally within my grasp to unaffordable in what felt like six months). The same wasn't happening where friends lived half a mile in either direction. So, second rec: use Twitter and FB to see what local spokesfolk and community groups are out there! I learned so much about my area by searching #deptford!
posted by ozgirlabroad at 1:42 AM on March 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

Have a Swap Day. Make up a flyer, ask neighbors to put out a table or blanket with toys, clothes, tools, that are in good shape nut no longer used. Or a Garden Swap to share plants and seeds. Are there any elders who have trouble maintaining their front garden/ steps? Have a clean-up day and clean litter, paint someone's steps, plant stuff for those who can't. If there's a space, like a church basement, have a neighborhood potluck.
posted by theora55 at 12:06 PM on March 18, 2018

Response by poster: Excellent advice everyone! It never would occur to me that someone would not want to join in, so maybe the knocking on doors idea is not such a good one. I think I've found the previous organiser and have contacted him. Will try all ideas, including wandering around my front garden looking clueless on a Saturday morning ;). Thanks!
posted by caoimhe at 9:14 AM on March 19, 2018