Closed/anon fundraising option for single mom faced w/child sex abuse?

January 10, 2018 1:57 AM

Hi folks, I'm trying to help my friend, who is in a really terrible situation with no financial resources to cope with the reality and legal battle around her daughter having been sexually abused. Details kept vague because I have no idea how present on the internet her daughter's abuser is.

Long story short, my friend's child was sexually abused by the person who was providing her childcare. The abuser has lawyered-up and has a lot of resources to throw around, and my friend doesn't. What she *does* have is a strong and loving community of people of modest means who will absolutely chip in to help her. BUT. We can't put her name or story on the internet because of the sensitivity of the situation.The last thing we want is for this to be wayback-machine-able to identify her daughter as a victim someday.

We've gotten in touch with some local resources for pro-bono representation, counseling, therapy for her daughter, a restraining order for the asshole, etc.; what she needs now is money, because she's lost her job due to the sudden need to take her daughter out of childcare and the avalanche of appointments with lawyers/law enforcement/doctors of body and mind/etc.

I fully understand why crowdfunding sites like GoFundMe avoid anon or closed donation campaigns, but in this situation it is appropriate and necessary. Is there such a tool?

posted by anonymous to Human Relations (2 answers total)

My idea comes with the caveat that I have not done this myself or checked Paypal's TOS, but here goes: is there anyone trustworthy in your circle who is distant enough from the people you are trying to help that their name would not immediately connect them to your friends? If so, would that individual be willing to send out a mass email to blind ccd recipients you and they select, stating approximately what you did above, with a link to their Paypal account? To get the ball rolling, you could reply all to thank the person and let them know you contributed. This is all assuming that your friend the recipient is ok with the arrangement and with your chosen go-between before you approach them.
posted by prewar lemonade at 5:15 AM on January 10, 2018 [1 favorite]

How terrible! I couldn't find any info on anonymous fundraising sites, but if they are in the US you may want to consider looking into their state's victim compensation program: https://www.rainn.org/articles/crime-victim-compensation. The RAINN hotline may also be a good resource for finding additional financial assistance sources.
posted by galvanized unicorn at 10:28 AM on January 10, 2018