30th Birthday embarrassment...
January 29, 2006 5:57 PM   Subscribe

Maximum embarrassment for a younger sister's 30th birthday?

Looking for ideas for an embarrassing but humorous present for my 3-year-younger sister, on the event of her 30th birthday. When I turned 30, she sent me a series of funeral wreaths. I'm looking to settle the score, and do so in a more creative and funny way.

Time: roughly two weeks from now
Price: need to keep it under $50 if possible, but there's a siginificant amount of design/computer/crafting skills available.
Components: a large number of reasonably embarrassing photos are on hand and capable of being abused in various ways...we're talking 80's big hair, bad fashion, baby pics, etc.

Anything interesting on the 'net that I should look at? Things that you've seen done to celebrate other significant birthdays?
posted by griffey to Human Relations (20 answers total)
one element of a present that would be funny ... a bottle of geritol
posted by pyramid termite at 6:49 PM on January 29, 2006

posted by effugas at 6:56 PM on January 29, 2006

Maybe you could find one of those catalogs that have products for old people, like therapuetic stockings, industrial strength toenail clippers, bunion cushions and somehow fashion it into story about her being old. I used to do cards like that for friends, they loved it and I enjoyed being relentless at attacking them for...getting old. this would have to be something she would share willingly, not really a prank type thing
Or is there any way you could post the pics of her in places she frequents like work, a particular bar or hangout., the gym. That would be pretty fun.
Or maybe create iron-ons with the pictures and she could run into people she knows wearing a t-shirt with an embarassing picture or if there were a party a whole group of people could be wearing the shirts.
Or call in a geriatic stripper...there has to be one out there somewhere....
posted by TheLibrarian at 7:00 PM on January 29, 2006

Forge an invitation to a nudist resort from your parents?
posted by Good Brain at 7:00 PM on January 29, 2006

Adult diapers?
posted by Citizen Premier at 7:13 PM on January 29, 2006

A bottle of Viagra.

A specially designed dildo box with instructions for the elderly on it. does NOT have be a real dildo, as it is your sister.

Set of extra false teeth.

Senior citizen coupons.

Spencer's usually has gag gifts for old people

Buy a wheelchair from Goodwill and pimp it out.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:19 PM on January 29, 2006

Maybe book her really cool spa day of beauty but then-- surprise-- once she gets there, she finds that she's been booked into the senior package, and that everything she's been scheduled for is meant to "reduce signs of aging." Or maybe see if there are any massage therapists who have a menopause special. There's a really fancy gym next to my work, but everyone who goes there is retired. It's used mostly for physical therapy. You could get her a month pass to a place like that.

She'll get all excited about her nice present, then get the joke, feel the pain, then enjoy the present anyway.
posted by lalalana at 7:23 PM on January 29, 2006

Blow up the pictures really big, paste them onto cardboard, and staple onto sticks. Create a large embarrassing display on her front lawn, along with a big banner asking passing drivers to honk for the old lady's birthday.

Did something similar for a neighbor a few years ago, and the best part was the cunning and stealth required to get it all put together after dark (we even wore dark clothes).

You could also sign her up for an AARP subscription, so she gets the magazine every month.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 7:48 PM on January 29, 2006

Since you have the pictures, the most dastardly (but still a great gift) thing I've heard of is a surprise party. The catch? The best (well, worst) of those photos are everywhere, poster-size. And the show-stopper--take the most embarrassing head-shot of her, and make everyone a mask to wear when she shows up.

Hackneyed, but satisfying.
posted by frykitty at 7:53 PM on January 29, 2006

Do NOT use her past against her, especially in public. Good-natured ribbing is one thing, but I’ve seen these things go horribly awry, with the guest of “honor” running out in tears.

Sure she’s your sister and you’re allowed to joke around with her, but maybe you could think of something that doesn’t focus on the embarrassing.

But if you insist, anything involving past boyfriends, especially if she’s married; tales of drunkenness and sex, especially if her parents will be there; and any photos involving nudity.
posted by verylargecorp at 8:06 PM on January 29, 2006

Make a calendar out of the photos.
posted by hopeless romantique at 9:05 PM on January 29, 2006

Just don't.
posted by ilsa at 9:50 PM on January 29, 2006

When my sister got her master's degree, I was pretty broke, but I made her a mix CD featuring a chronological retrospective of all her favorite songs. It began with a syrupy song from a Disney movie she used to watch over and over again when she was, like, six, and included the Cindy Lauper single that took up permanent residence on the turntable when she was eight and a bunch of cheesy pop stuff I remember her overdosing on during her adolescence. On the one hand, she appreciated the CD. On the other hand, the material gave us a chance to have some fun at her expense.
posted by Clay201 at 12:03 AM on January 30, 2006

Thrift stores.

When a friend turned 40, a few of us combed the local charity shops and thrift stores and found lots of, er, interesting things:

- old lady clothes
- glasses
- a wig
- corsets/underwear/thick stockings
- shoes
- false teeth
etc, etc,

These made a nice big parcel that caused lots of embarrassment, especially when she was made to wear them (except the teeth) and have her picture taken.
posted by essexjan at 3:30 AM on January 30, 2006

For my sister-in-law's 40th birthday, a co-worker of hers put out the word among their other co-workers that she was collecting bras for a birthday display, "the bigger the better". The co-worker collected 40 sad-looking huge bras, went over to my sister-in-law's place when she knew SIL would be away, and hung them all on her backyard clothesline.
posted by orange swan at 8:18 AM on January 30, 2006

You people are evil. And I love you all.
posted by orange swan at 8:18 AM on January 30, 2006

Get all of her ex-lovers to come to the birthday party!
posted by jewzilla at 9:38 AM on January 30, 2006

The Great American Challenge. Preferably in a nice decorated box.

Or one of those 3-foot gasoline powered ones, if you can find it.
posted by kafziel at 11:52 AM on January 30, 2006

I find a sympathy card adds a nice final touch. You know, something that aith an inside inscription like,

"In your time of need, it is with greatest remorse and sympathy that I offer you and your family compassion and well wishes"

followed by a hand-written "happy birthday, sis!"
posted by piratebowling at 3:02 PM on January 30, 2006

The rasterbator is your friend. (Don't worry, it's not what you think it is). I made big pictures of my mom for her birthday and posted them all over her neighborhood. She probably got 20 calls from people wishing her happy birthday.
posted by Frank Grimes at 6:32 PM on January 30, 2006

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