How can I sort out this housing and school conflict?
December 16, 2017 6:43 PM   Subscribe

A supportive living program has been working with me to find an apartment. The social worker and I have been applying to buildings for disabled people. A manager for one of these buildings told me that they tend not to like housing students cuz they think that students should live with their parents, and that the rules about this change constantly.

I'm not even sure if I'm capable of completing school. I have a developmental disability, anxiety, depression, and schizophrenia. When I last tried going to school, my disabilities made it so overwhelming that I went on medical leave. For example, I was confused a lot of the time about how to do my assignments, even with help from my professors and tutors. I know I've made some improvements, though, cuz I used to be mostly nonverbal, which made my professors unhappy with me about group projects, but now I know how to express myself verbally. Maybe it would go better this time. I'd like to try a transition to college program before officially going back to school.

If I can manage school, I'd like to get a psychology degree and then a Master's in counseling so that I can work with people to help them feel better and improve their lives.

I'm afraid that taking one of these apartments (I've just been offered one) would mean giving up my dream of helping people. The manager said to talk to her if I become a student, so she might be willing to work something out with me, but there's no guarantee.

My daddy has offered to get a house with me (we're currently in an apartment that he hates) but he has so high standards that I'm afraid we wouldn't be able to find a place that fits his criteria and we could both afford (we're both currently on disability, and I go back to school, as far as I know I'd lose the disability, and need to work part time, plus there would be financial aid...still not much money, though). For him, it has to be a house, not an apartment, and it has to allow multiple pets, and a place for him to carve. I don't judge him for wanting those things, I'm just worried about how many options that would leave us. He's not willing to have more roommates besides me.

I've thought about getting a roommate/s on Craigslist, but my parents would both be angry with me if I did that, and my mommy would be angry enough to cut me out of her life.

Can you help me figure out what to do?
posted by Eevee to Education (6 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Best answer: It sounds like your parents want you to either live by yourself (no roommates) or with them.

It sounds like the apartment you are considering might evict you if you become a student (and might not have this attitude if you weren't disabled)??? If you are in the United States it's possible that this is a violation of the Fair Housing Act. Reporting this will help you and others be treated more fairly in the future.

You might want to look more at what would happen to your disability benefits if you go to school. Here's a site for people in the US, but your lawyer would be the best person to talk to about this :

If living with your dad is acceptable except for that you aren't sure he can find a place he likes and wants to move to, I don't understand what the issue is. You currently live with him and it sounds like he's perfectly fine with that arrangement. If you move out, he'll still be in an apartment he doesn't like. Seems like if you keep living with him you'll both either stay in the apartment or he will find a place that he likes.

If you don't want your mommy to cut you out of her life, you should not get rommates on Craigslist. If you are happy to have her cut you out of her life, you can go ahead and get a roommate on Craigslist (or some other service your mom wouldn't like).
posted by yohko at 7:03 PM on December 16, 2017 [2 favorites]

I know you say that the rules for the housing constantly change, but what I do if I were in your shoes would depend on what exactly would happen if you became a student. Would they kick you out? Can they kick you out? Etc.

Absent any other information, I think I would take the apartment and figure out the rest later. Let's say you do ultimately become a student again -- how would your manager even know, if you don't tell her?
posted by crazy with stars at 7:23 PM on December 16, 2017 [1 favorite]

Subsidized housing programs funded through the LIHTC program have always had restrictions on full time students.
posted by vespabelle at 9:01 PM on December 16, 2017 [1 favorite]

Where are you?
posted by maurreen at 9:05 PM on December 16, 2017

Response by poster: I'm in Spokane, Washington.
posted by Eevee at 9:34 PM on December 16, 2017

Response by poster: I decided to stay with my daddy so that I won't have to worry about housing conflicting with school. Thanks for the answers.
posted by Eevee at 7:48 PM on December 18, 2017

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