how do I survive work and grad school?

January 25, 2006 6:35 PM

INSPIRATIONFILTER:I need suggestions and inspirational stories on how to balance a full time stressful job and grad school.

My job is very stressful and not related to my area of study (market research job, library science grad school). Since I took a couple of classes for career exploration, I will be able to graduate in the spring of next year by taking 3 classes each semester for 3 semesters and one summer school class. Classes are all at night and every other Saturday.
Work is totally insane busy right now, so part of me wants to tell them to shove it, I mean hand in my 2 weeks notice. I really appreciate the money and the health insurance. Also, I am not willing to go into considerable debt in order to be a ....a librarian in a public library. So quitting is not really an option (neither is taking a lower paying job with fewer hours and no health benefits---ie I would have to buy my own insurance, or working more at a lower paying, less stressful job with health benefits etc)
I don't want to drop a class. I really want to get through this since I have spent a lifetime to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. So dropping a class is not really an option. Plus I don't want to think about having to take some of the classes I am currently taking in the future....you know....they are requirements....
I just feel so exhausted mentally and physically. My husband has been very supportive ( oh, and insurance through his workplace would be like $500/ month, really). I know that I am just having an adjustment period and that I am stubbornly wanting cake and eating it too. I also think I will feel better once I get some grades by and I can see if I am on track or need to try even harder. I just really want to put a lot of effort into this and have it be the best experience ever...
So share your stories of INSPIRATION and ADVICE about what you did to get through a stressful time (not including quitting school or work)

posted by TheLibrarian to Grab Bag (15 answers total)

I know it sounds counter-intuitive to add something else to your day, but you really would benefit from regular aerobic exercise. The benefit might not be immediate, but after a few weeks of, say, walking (not marathon training - just a brisk walk for 20-30 minutes, 3-4x a week) you will no doubt improve your stamina. You would likely begin to require less sleep (although at first you might need more), and your concentration will improve when you are awake.

You could even buy a treadmill (better) or go to a gym (less optimal) and learn to read and/or review your notes while using it.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 7:27 PM on January 25, 2006

I scheduled. I scheduled the hell out of my life. I scheduled time to eat, time to travel, time to sit. I made little lists for everything, for the pure satisfaction I would get when I crossed something off.
posted by stoneegg21 at 8:25 PM on January 25, 2006

Having been through library school myself I would say that you really don't need to worry about your grades, as long as you are able to show up to class and mostly keep up with the readings. I also think trying to schedule a few minutes a day to take a walk helps.
posted by gnat at 8:39 PM on January 25, 2006

Allow yourself downtime. Allow yourself time at the gym, or time to go out for dinner/drinks with friends. And stay organized and on top of everything.

Good luck!
posted by whatideserve at 8:45 PM on January 25, 2006

I did a full-time MBA and ran my own business at the same time. It was hectic, but I at least had flexibility in scheduling my work hours. I tried to keep lists and to set up my computer to remind me about everything. I automated all of my bill payments. I sent an email to friends/family and said they may not hear from me as often. I froze lots of meals and stocked the cupboards. I let myself have times where my grades weren't as strong. I let myself have times where my work wasn't as strong.

Could you take 2 courses a semester and quit your job right before the very last term? Then you could spend time looking for a job and you'd only have to pay health insurance for a few months, instead of a year.

I'm glad I live in a country where health insurance is $50 a month and free for low income persons. I'd hate to have to stick with a job just to prevent bankruptcy due to health problems.
posted by acoutu at 9:10 PM on January 25, 2006

1. Leave work at work. Easier said than done, but when you have a stressful job, you really need to be able to set it aside once you are out the door. Personally, I find listening to incredibly peppy/rockin' tunes at excessive volume on the trip home helps immensely.

2. Talk to your professors/bosses about ways to minimize your stress while not impacting class/work performance if they are decent people. You will be surprised how willing people are to help if you ask.

3. Keep the end in sight. People spend their entire lives in coal mines 12 hours a day and survive. You can make it through a year and a half of grad school.

>"I just really want to put a lot of effort into this and have it be the best experience ever..."
4. Don't try so hard. It sounds like this will most definitely NOT be a great experience - it will be exhausting, draining, and stressful. But, it will enable you to get to where you want to be, and you will look back on it fondly one day.

Good luck.

(PS. Librarians rock, so you've got that going for you.)
posted by Rock Steady at 9:11 PM on January 25, 2006

Quit your job and find a way to focus on school full time. I juggled PT grad school and a FT job for 2 semesters and it really sucked. My job required occasional travel and lots of overtime. I ended up applying for a research assistantship in my department and got it. My tuition is paid, I get a liveable stipend, benefits and best of all, I am getting hands on experience working in my field. I do make less money, but I'm a lot happier and saner.
posted by tinaguppie at 9:18 PM on January 25, 2006

After working full time through a part time MBA, I second the strict time management and regular exercise recommended above.

Also, use the time between semesters to get a jump on upcoming courses. You may have as many as 4 weeks between fall and winter semesters and maybe a week or two between winter and summer. Get cheap used textbooks for the next semester now and start reading immediately after this semester ends.
posted by klarck at 4:19 AM on January 26, 2006

Response by poster: Thanks guys! this really helps a lot.
posted by TheLibrarian at 6:01 AM on January 26, 2006

I work as an accountant full-time and am going to school part time for a Masters in Finance. It's hellish.
All the above suggestions are great, use them.

The best way I can describe my methodology is that I force myself up a hill and then coast thru-out the day. I drag myself out of bed before the sun is up. I force myself to run for 25 minutes (we have a treadmill, but i run outside when weather permits). And after running around my neighborhood in the dark and cold morning, what can be worse? Eat a live frog for breakfast and the rest of your day is automatically better.

Then to work to school back to work then home for homework, the real sufferer is my wife. So we shake things up, dates out to the local diner for breakfast, because i'm too exhausted to give her my best in the evenings. Schedule a weekend night and following morning off and go to a hotel (you're working yourself crazy, you're earning money, don't forget to spend some on yourself--if you don't splurge the work will be a chore). That way you can't accidentally pick up a school book or worry about all the house-cleaning you should be doing. YOU MUST SCHEDULE DOWNTIME, or you will never make it (sanely).

Get out of doors as much as you can. Turn off the computer and relax with something that does not require a book or tv screen. The Real Challenge of grad school is not how much you can accomplish/learn/publish, but finding the balance between all that and Life.

Let your Significant Other help you. Think about things he can do for you, or even better, with you. Can he get online and buy your textbooks so you don't have to? Can he read out a vocabulary list to you while you soak in a hot tub? Can he meet you before/between classes for coffee or with a sandwich so you don't have to bother packing lunch in the morning? etc.

You can do it, especially if you really want it. But you will get discouraged, you will kick and scream, you will cry, you will drive your family and friends crazy, and you will dance across that stage and get a diploma. You will be a Librarian!
posted by iurodivii at 6:39 AM on January 26, 2006

Response by poster: thanks for the encouragement iurodivii
I guess some aerobic type excercise would help a lot. I wish excercise would not be the answer for everything....but something so recommended must be true! And it will make my doctor happy. His open line during the talking part of a yearly physical after he looks at bloodwork is " So, let me tell you how you are going to die", its always heart disease... never something glamourous like booze and pills and a male stripper name Javier.

I was hoping someone would suggest eating more cookies...

I will start walking in the mornings!
and scheduling
and finding more things my SO can help me with
and planning for relaxation
and I will also not check my work email from home anymore
posted by TheLibrarian at 8:26 AM on January 26, 2006

and finding more things my SO can help me with

What? I already have 4 full time jobs!
"I don't need this! My man has 4 jobs!"
posted by NoMich at 8:53 AM on January 26, 2006

Response by poster: sitting on the couch is not a job.
watching football---not a job.
sleeping---also...not a job.
so you are really down to one job.
posted by TheLibrarian at 10:39 AM on January 26, 2006

Psssh! BF2 is totally a full time job. I'm up to gunnery seargant now.
posted by NoMich at 11:53 AM on January 26, 2006

I did my masters in public adminstration while working full time--my heart goes out to you--there are many great suggestions here--I incorporated exercising into my commute by riding my bike to work (reading on the train every day got to be too much.) I also made very good use of my vacation days to schedule study time before exam periods or when I had many assignments due. It was harder for me to realize that I just couldn't be the same kind of student in graduate school that I was as an undergrad--that meant being more, ahem, strategic in what I read, how I prepared and ultimately where I allocated my time. I also made good use of tutors for economics and statistics classes where I needed help with the math. Definitely make time for yourself to rest--schedule breaks and mini-vacations--you're working hard and deserve the reward.
posted by teddyb109 at 2:51 AM on February 3, 2006