"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans..."
October 3, 2017 5:02 AM Subscribe
I want to be more present, can someone teach me how?
I'm really into thinking / daydreaming / planning / scheming / theoretical conversations / wondering about things, and I love doing all of the above. However I do feel like I spend a bit too much time detached and in my head, and I want to try spending more time appreciating the sensory aspects of life and taking in the experience with more 'right here, right now' alertness.
Does anyone have tips on how to tune out of my head and into the moment? Is it scary to live so mindfully? Thank you ! :)
I'm really into thinking / daydreaming / planning / scheming / theoretical conversations / wondering about things, and I love doing all of the above. However I do feel like I spend a bit too much time detached and in my head, and I want to try spending more time appreciating the sensory aspects of life and taking in the experience with more 'right here, right now' alertness.
Does anyone have tips on how to tune out of my head and into the moment? Is it scary to live so mindfully? Thank you ! :)
Do you have a lot of distractions, like TV, phone, internet, lots of social engagements? If you can cut back on that stuff -- and it can be really hard at first -- it becomes a lot easier to think and just breathe.
posted by mochapickle at 5:36 AM on October 3, 2017
posted by mochapickle at 5:36 AM on October 3, 2017
Meditation and mindful physical activity come to mind. Look for local classes or online instruction. I've been liking Mindful.org for ideas.
posted by lazuli at 6:21 AM on October 3, 2017
posted by lazuli at 6:21 AM on October 3, 2017
Yes to mindfulness meditation to be more present in your daily life, and also doing more activities that require your full attention and engage your senses: cooking, baking (think kneading dough, smelling, tasting), painting, riding a bike, gardening, improv, conversations with friends, hiking, yoga. You can mind wander during all of these tasks but they require you to come back to what you're doing.
I love to daydream too but I balance it out with the above.
posted by lafemma at 6:27 AM on October 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
I love to daydream too but I balance it out with the above.
posted by lafemma at 6:27 AM on October 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
Simply recording your thoughts could help, depending on HOW you are recording them.
I've recently realized that adopting electronic ways to journal or even just keep a day planner don't work for me - I find I do better with pen and paper. I tut-tutted the fancy paper planners that are now so trendy in craft stores in a recent comment, but recently realized that...I think I just do better with pen and paper. It slows me down, since the mere act of writing things by hand is just slower. It's also a body activity.
But there is also a sensory element - the color and texture of the paper, the feel and weight of the pen, getting ink all over your fingers....that connects you to the "real world" in a tiny way.
Also, seconding Lafemma's comment about doing things. I have adopted the habit of canning tomatoes every year during the 9/11 observances; it is enough to distract me from the mental fuckover that sitting and thinking would give me; it's the perfect balance of "hands-on enough to distract me from obsessive thought" but "not so complicated to the point that if I do space out, the house would blow up".
On a happier note, I also find cleaning and big cooking projects are very grounding as well. Sometimes when I am feeling especially scattered I'll clean the whole kitchen, which includes a whole inventory of the stuff in the fridge and the pantry. That usually gives me ideas for a couple of sort-of-improvisational soups or casseroles or some quick breads that I then start making, to have as dinner for the day and to save for brown-bag lunches for the week. while they're cooking I finish cleaning the kitchen, and usually have enough gumption to vacuum the rest of the apartment, then spruce up the dining room - and by the time the food's done and dinner is ready, I've lit a candle and put Astral Weeks on the stereo, and I eat dinner while facing the window that gives me a great view of the changing colors of the night sky. And I also feel like I'm much more in the world and that I've accomplished something.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:12 AM on October 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
I've recently realized that adopting electronic ways to journal or even just keep a day planner don't work for me - I find I do better with pen and paper. I tut-tutted the fancy paper planners that are now so trendy in craft stores in a recent comment, but recently realized that...I think I just do better with pen and paper. It slows me down, since the mere act of writing things by hand is just slower. It's also a body activity.
But there is also a sensory element - the color and texture of the paper, the feel and weight of the pen, getting ink all over your fingers....that connects you to the "real world" in a tiny way.
Also, seconding Lafemma's comment about doing things. I have adopted the habit of canning tomatoes every year during the 9/11 observances; it is enough to distract me from the mental fuckover that sitting and thinking would give me; it's the perfect balance of "hands-on enough to distract me from obsessive thought" but "not so complicated to the point that if I do space out, the house would blow up".
On a happier note, I also find cleaning and big cooking projects are very grounding as well. Sometimes when I am feeling especially scattered I'll clean the whole kitchen, which includes a whole inventory of the stuff in the fridge and the pantry. That usually gives me ideas for a couple of sort-of-improvisational soups or casseroles or some quick breads that I then start making, to have as dinner for the day and to save for brown-bag lunches for the week. while they're cooking I finish cleaning the kitchen, and usually have enough gumption to vacuum the rest of the apartment, then spruce up the dining room - and by the time the food's done and dinner is ready, I've lit a candle and put Astral Weeks on the stereo, and I eat dinner while facing the window that gives me a great view of the changing colors of the night sky. And I also feel like I'm much more in the world and that I've accomplished something.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:12 AM on October 3, 2017 [3 favorites]
Why would it be scary to get out of your head into the world around you? I find it much scarier in my head tbh. But I am a Sensor not an Intuitive so efforts at being Intuitive tend to have anxiety attached to them.
Nthing mindfulness meditation. There are plenty of apps that encourage you to pause and reflect on what is happening. If you're in your head or present to your self. Yoga nidra is a fantastic resource for learning how to do this.
posted by crunchy potato at 7:20 AM on October 3, 2017
Nthing mindfulness meditation. There are plenty of apps that encourage you to pause and reflect on what is happening. If you're in your head or present to your self. Yoga nidra is a fantastic resource for learning how to do this.
posted by crunchy potato at 7:20 AM on October 3, 2017
My #1 tip is to eat a couple of meals a week sitting on the ground without any devices or screens on (other than maybe some music.) A picnic, or on the floor of the living room with a candle, or eat breakfast sitting on the stoop, weather permitting.
posted by warriorqueen at 7:46 AM on October 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by warriorqueen at 7:46 AM on October 3, 2017 [2 favorites]
What helped me at first was to have this inner monologue where I narrate everything I am doing. It works best when I'm doing something alone, like getting ready for work, chores around the house, or eating dinner. I'll say, "I'm picking up my fork," as I pick up my fork. Then, "I'm using it to scoop up mashed potatoes. I'm eating these delicious mashed potatoes. I'm thankful someone made them for me. Now I'm using my fork to eat more potatoes. This is a lovely fork. These potatoes really are delicious, there is just enough bacon. I think I want to try the steak now..." And so on.
It sounds a little crazy, but it made me really stop and think about what I was doing and I began to appreciate everything about that moment of my day. A moment that I had previously barely noticed, eating a meal, getting ready for work, or emptying the dishwasher. This little exercise helped train my mind to be present and stop and notice things. Little by little, I found myself becoming more and more present with my daily life without having to try so hard to be present. Hope that helps you.
posted by NoraCharles at 1:35 PM on October 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
It sounds a little crazy, but it made me really stop and think about what I was doing and I began to appreciate everything about that moment of my day. A moment that I had previously barely noticed, eating a meal, getting ready for work, or emptying the dishwasher. This little exercise helped train my mind to be present and stop and notice things. Little by little, I found myself becoming more and more present with my daily life without having to try so hard to be present. Hope that helps you.
posted by NoraCharles at 1:35 PM on October 3, 2017 [5 favorites]
Guided meditations would be a great place to start, but I don't know how to find the ones that are zero woo.
posted by DarlingBri at 5:00 PM on October 3, 2017
posted by DarlingBri at 5:00 PM on October 3, 2017
I don't find it scary at all; I find it delightful.
One way to tune in to the world around you is through an activity that requires it. Sketching is great, and photography is good, too. When I started birdwatching (I am the world's most casual birdwatcher - I am really good at identifying about 5 very common species, and I mostly just enjoy seeing them around), I discovered that I was just spotting more birds. It seemed like birds were everywhere all of a sudden! They'd always been there, of course; I was just more attuned to a flicker of wing or a soft chirping.
Sketching and photography can have a similar effect, where even when you're not doing the thing, your mind still becomes more alert to noticing the curve of someone's face or the way the shadows play on a building. Noticing yourself noticing can be a mental cue to take in other sensations, like sounds and smells.
posted by kristi at 9:59 AM on October 6, 2017
One way to tune in to the world around you is through an activity that requires it. Sketching is great, and photography is good, too. When I started birdwatching (I am the world's most casual birdwatcher - I am really good at identifying about 5 very common species, and I mostly just enjoy seeing them around), I discovered that I was just spotting more birds. It seemed like birds were everywhere all of a sudden! They'd always been there, of course; I was just more attuned to a flicker of wing or a soft chirping.
Sketching and photography can have a similar effect, where even when you're not doing the thing, your mind still becomes more alert to noticing the curve of someone's face or the way the shadows play on a building. Noticing yourself noticing can be a mental cue to take in other sensations, like sounds and smells.
posted by kristi at 9:59 AM on October 6, 2017
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posted by bunderful at 5:19 AM on October 3, 2017 [1 favorite]