Punished at work for a false reason. Help?

September 8, 2017 12:02 PM

I'm being demoted at work and I don't know what to do. Any advice is appreciated. Much more inside...

Today I received a warning at work for supposedly failing to do something which I did in fact do. They said I didn't notify someone of something. I did notify them. So the reason I was given for the warning was completely false, but apparently none of that matters. They're moving another person with less experience into my position, taking my office while I go back into a cubicle to do their job. All with no previous discussion with me (during which I would likely have told them the reason for the warning wasn't true). As you can probably tell, my head is swimming. I've never been in this situation before and I have no idea what to do. I'm expected to come in Monday, train my replacement, etc and I can't imagine how to do that without breaking down completely.

1) Should I look for a new job? It's true I wasn't happy in this position, but I wasn't ready to leave either. This all seems like a pretense to get me to quit (so they don't have to fire me). Yet I have no idea what else to do. I've been at this company since I graduated college. I'm overdue for a change. But I never expected to be treated this way on the way out.

2) Dealing with the humiliation. As I mentioned above, they're taking my office and putting me in a cubicle. It will be immediately obvious to everyone that I've been disciplined and demoted. How am I supposed to go back in and pretend I'm OK with this while everyone I work with wonders what I did? I don't know if I can keep my mouth shut to the fact that the discipline was based on bullshit.

3) Of course this comes on the heels of everything else I've been struggling with mentally. I was fragile before, but now it's like the glass is shattered and a slight breeze will blow it all to pieces. What can I do to survive this weekend and beyond?

posted by downtohisturtles to Work & Money (19 answers total)

You absolutely want to look for a new job ASAP.

You also absolutely want to speak to a lawyer.
posted by Tomorrowful at 12:04 PM on September 8, 2017 [30 favorites]

Can you talk to HR? I think they're supposed to have a process for submitting a grievance and are supposed to help you.
posted by Vispa Teresa at 12:08 PM on September 8, 2017 [4 favorites]

You may be able to claim constructive dismissal. Contact an employment lawyer immediately.
posted by grouse at 12:11 PM on September 8, 2017 [4 favorites]

Have you told them the reason for the warning isn't true? Is there anyone you can escalate this to?

Regardless, they sound like assholes and you weren't happy there already, so:

1) Absolutely look for a new job.

2) This is about your sick workplace, not about you. If you feel like your life would be easier if you act like you're OK with this, go ahead, but if you want to complain about it and/or feel like you can get your side of the story out there in a way that's useful to you, do it.

3) You are not your job. Someday this job will be a distant, shitty memory. Distract yourself as much as possible, whether it's with people you love, trashy TV, exhausting exercise - whatever works for you. Things are going to be OK.

I have been treated really shittily in some jobs. Although this was hugely painful and damaging to my self-worth at the time, in retrospect it was hardly about me at all. Those people didn't treat me like shit because I was shit, they treated me like shit because they were incompetent and/or assholes and/or trapped in a sick system.
posted by mskyle at 12:14 PM on September 8, 2017 [30 favorites]

Can you prove you did the things they said you didn't? Is there a copy of the notification in your email client's Sent Mail folder, for example? Document everything you can, and right now.

Also, start looking for another job, if you haven't already. You're as entitled to look as critically at how the company handles this situation (for example, if it turns out the person you did notify lied about it, disciplining that person and apologizing to you) as they are apparently looking at you.
posted by Gelatin at 12:15 PM on September 8, 2017 [7 favorites]

Nthing start looking, do you have someone to talk to? This is the time to talk.
posted by sammyo at 12:18 PM on September 8, 2017

I am really sorry you are going through this.

Yes, you should start looking for a new job right away. Don't quit - let them do the work if they are planning to let you go and don't let them off the hook for unemployment. I recommend you keep a personal record of what has happened so far and all your interactions with management going forward.
posted by OrderOctopoda at 12:23 PM on September 8, 2017 [3 favorites]

It sounds like you're either being bullied, or they're demoting you for other reasons and this is a pretense. You have proof that you did what they asked! Fight back, and provide proof to the person who said these things and demoted you, or just go right to HR or management.

"You said I didn't do this. Here's proof I did. You said I didn't notify Jim. Here's proof I did. I deserve to continue doing my job." Be calm and professional, but assertive about the facts. Put the ball back in their court and see what they do. If you get nowhere with the person who demoted you, definitely go to HR or their boss.

This may be some idiot with a vendetta who said this stuff and demoted you because no one would doubt them. Don't let them get away with it, especially when it's based on a misunderstanding at best and an outright lie at worst.

One last thing - if your proof is email, BCC that to your personal email account and delete the sent item, making sure there's no confidential information in the message. They can absolutely delete the proof email out from under you.
posted by cnc at 12:23 PM on September 8, 2017 [5 favorites]

Lawyer up if you can.
Write an email stating the facts, send it to manager and HR. CC: your home email. Attach any documentation. No emotion, just facts.
Regarding our meeting of Sept. 7, 2017.
Present: HR person, Manager
Manager stated blah blah. This is not accurate. I notified X on Date as indicated in the attached email dated blah.
Make sure that any documentation is an attachment. You want to preserve the email headers.
Look for a new job. They're treating you badly. Fighting with your employer will suck you dry, even or especially when you're right. I know this from experience.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Work toxicity is awful. Keep repeating to yourself what mskyle said Those people didn't treat me like shit because I was shit, they treated me like shit because they were incompetent and/or assholes and/or trapped in a sick system. Or all 3. You deserve better.
posted by theora55 at 12:25 PM on September 8, 2017 [4 favorites]

Not an employment lawyer but arbitrary demotion is pretty much the archetypal case of constructive dismissal. You need legal advice. I'd suggest starting by seeing what nonprofit/pro bono organisations can give you employment advice.

And I'm sorry. This is horrible.
posted by howfar at 1:14 PM on September 8, 2017 [5 favorites]

Can you talk to HR? I think they're supposed to have a process for submitting a grievance and are supposed to help you.

HR is NOT there to help you. (If you're union, there might be somebody who is supposed to help you, but HR is not it.) Talking to HR doesn't sound like a useful thing to do at the moment. Talking to a lawyer might be.
posted by spacewrench at 1:15 PM on September 8, 2017 [18 favorites]

Demotion strikes me as an extreme response to a miscommunication. This smells of constructive dismissal. Definitely consult an employment lawyer and (if you have the wherewithal when you get home, do not do this at work or on work equipment) look up your company and any relevant individuals on Employment Law360 and see if any other employment cases have been filed against them. The actual articles and court docs will probably be behind a paywall, but filtering for Cases (left sidebar) will at least give you a list of case names and jurisdictions if any similarly bullied employees have filed suit before.

Other questions to consider, especially before meeting with a lawyer: Does your employer maintain a sick system? Did you recently qualify for a raise (i.e., did they maybe find someone willing to do your job cheaper so that they want to force you out to save money)? Did you recently challenge a discriminatory or harassing remark, action, or policy? Cases like these often have a precipitating factor that is completely unrelated to the employee's performance. You have been blindsided, and this is absolutely not your fault, but contextualizing the event will help you decide how to proceed, and may help a lawyer build your case.

Document everything. Grab as much positive stuff as you can from your tenure, especially docs like previous positive performance evaluations and emails thanking you or commending your performance/skills. Make a list or timeline as soon as possible of all the projects you've done, cross-referenced with the docs with positive comments about your contributions. Also see if you can pull down anything from previous communications/documents that indicates personal animus from the person who demoted you and the person whose lie led to this demotion. However you decide to proceed, it will be immensely helpful to have a clear chronological picture of your work up until this point and a detailed account of everything that follows.

Designate some time this weekend when you don't think about or interact with work stuff AT ALL. Use that time for self-care instead.

IANAL, hell, I'm not even a paralegal, but in a previous life I had some peripheral engagement with labor and employment stuff, so please feel free to MeMail me. I am so sorry you are going through this.
posted by Fish, fish, are you doing your duty? at 1:49 PM on September 8, 2017 [3 favorites]

Response by poster: Thanks everyone for the advice so far. Couple additional bits:

1) I did inform my boss that I notified the client and forwarded proof of that to her immediately after the meeting today. I haven't received any response (and she works in another city, so no face to face communication is possible).

2) My boss kept trying to spin it as a parallel move rather than a demotion. But losing an office and going from managing 10 people to 2 certainly looks like a demotion. Pay is the same still (as far as I know).
posted by downtohisturtles at 1:59 PM on September 8, 2017 [1 favorite]

In your shoes, I would probably leave. But if you decide to stay, you could see this as an opportunity to give you the room to try out new responsibilities in areas of interest to you.
posted by aniola at 2:15 PM on September 8, 2017

First, I'm sorry this is happening. I would recommend you talk to HR about this. Yes, they are there to protect your employer, but that includes protecting your employer against legal risk. And this kind of abrupt demotion/constructive dismissal is the kind of thing that gives good HR directors headaches. However, you should also be talking to a lawyer, and document everything. On your own computer.

Try not to take this personally, though it's hard. In a good workplace, good managers do what they can to support their staff and help them succeed. If there's a performance issue, they work with the staff member on it, and if a demotion is necessary, it's done after a lot of feedback and opportunity to improve.

On preview: just saw the thing about not getting a paycut. If your pay and title stay the same, HR might not see this as a demotion. Either way, you should be applying for other things. You're going to want to get out of there.
posted by lunasol at 2:51 PM on September 8, 2017 [8 favorites]

Look for a new job. For whatever reason, your current employer doesn't really want you there. Of course it's personal.
posted by halogen at 9:02 PM on September 8, 2017

Are you sure it's the one thing? Did you have any prior indications that people were unhappy with your performance? Often the proximate thing is just the one that pushes them over the edge to do what they already knew they were going to do sometime. That the one thing turned out to be incorrect is embarrassing, but it still doesn't make any sense to go back to status quo ante.

If you really had NO idea, that's super-poor management and I predict engagement and retention problems in their future. While I wouldn't think a reduction in duties rises to 'intolerable working conditions' required for constructive dismissal, it's definitely a good reason to look elsewhere.
posted by ctmf at 11:01 PM on September 9, 2017

If a client has asked not to work with you any more, that might change the details - even if the client is wrong or about their reasons, not "working well together" can be a reason used to move you to another team or area. Is that what you think might have happened?

Is the problem mostly that your management doesn't defend you to clients, basically? (Also a great reason to find another job.)
posted by Lady Li at 5:32 PM on September 10, 2017 [1 favorite]

if your proof is email, BCC that to your personal email account and delete the sent item, making sure there's no confidential information in the message

This sounds like a super bad idea. Definitely print it out immediately and take it out of the building, but don't be forwarding stuff to your personal email account.
posted by disconnect at 7:23 AM on September 11, 2017 [1 favorite]