Help me get over my fear of leadership
June 24, 2017 9:06 AM   Subscribe

I've been supervising staff for about a year. I would, eventually, like to continue moving up the career ladder. Several people at levels higher than mine have recommended things like doing trainings or talks for other people in the organization, or other projects that would get my face out there as a "go to" person for something. Every time this is even suggested, I freeze.

While I do have a fear of public speaking, my major barrier is more a feeling that I don't know enough to be teaching colleagues anything, or that what I know about is such common knowledge among colleagues that I wouldn't be teaching them anything new. That's probably not objectively true, but I do tend to be drawn into more of a generalist rather than specialist role, where I'm very good at lots of different things but not super well-versed in any one thing. I think I'm stumbling over the idea that what I know is useful and valuable, and that I have the right to be teaching other professionals.

Looking for advice, articles, books, reframes, anything else you've found helpful. (Except for Toastmasters -- please don't suggest Toastmasters.) I'm ok with books and such that are somewhat woo-ish, but I get annoyed by absolute woo; I'm also happy with super business-y books, or anything in-between.
posted by lazuli to Work & Money (8 answers total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
 
It has a lot of flaws and blind spots, but I would honestly recommend "Lean In." This is a pretty common way for women to feel in the workplace (I've had to battle it myself).

You might also want to look into Imposter's Syndrome - I think this is a variation on that. It's not that you don't think you're good at what you do, it's that you think your skills are not remarkable. Also, the Dunning-Kruger Effect, where people who are expert at something rate their skills as lower than they are (and people who are not familiar with the thing rate their skills higher). If you're being asked to share your knowledge and skills, I bet they're a lot stronger and more exceptional than you think.
posted by lunasol at 9:37 AM on June 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


Best answer: There is definitely a reframing that helps. You don't feel like the all-knowing expert who should swoop in to lecture everyone and tell them what's what. That's fine - that's never useful, anyway.

Instead. you're a capable colleague who has some time to devote to planning a training session. Think about what it's about and what would be useful for the attendees to know and think about. There are probably a few facts that you'll want/need to tell them. But the more useful part is providing time and space and prompts and maybe props to let them think about ideas, discuss ideas, and let them learn from each other.

I'm a teacher who has done stuff like this. Once I was in a small group asked to spend a day introducing teachers to a new series of math books that included "diagnostic assessments" - basically little quizzes to help us understand what kids knew already. We needed to do a basic introduction to the book, then we showed a 9-minute video that showed how it was organized and how to use it. But after we passed out real student responses to the diagnostic assessments and asked teachers what the next steps were for those kids. It turned "let me tell you about this book" into "let's look at student work and discuss what we can see about kids' understanding", which is a significant, interesting and complex part of math teaching. We (the session leaders) had some insights and ideas, but we were just participants in the broader conversation.

That's just one example from my field. But it was effective because we used a tool (the books) to guide an interesting informative conversation about a key part of our jobs. Telling people how to do stuff is not usually useful, but providing the supports to help them discuss it meaningfully is usually very helpful.
posted by MangoNews at 10:02 AM on June 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


Best answer: My somewhat rambling point above is that it's not only possible, but good, to think of yourself as a knowledgeable facilitator, rather than an expert lecturer. In addition to making you a better instructor/trainer, this reframing helps a lot with the psychological aspect (it's good if people know more than you about certain areas, not a problem!!).
posted by MangoNews at 10:06 AM on June 24, 2017 [6 favorites]


I came by to offer similar advice to what MangoNews has said above: being a good generalist is actually a very strong skill-set, and it might help you to reframe your view of yourself as a facilitator/integrator/networker who can set up useful sessions for your colleagues. I'd also recommend that you focus on topics that engage you personally, since it's always a lot easier to prepare and present something you're interested in, rather than something "assigned" by the boss. If you're being asked to do this, then your skills are seen as valuable.

In terms of practical things to improve your public speaking confidence and skills, you might find the book The Charisma Myth useful. The author breaks down the reasons some people come across better than others in different situations and offers some practical tips and exercises for developing this "mythical" quality. I'd also suggest looking into media training, individually, or with a group. Even though my course focussed on preparing and managing live interviews, I've used those skills ever since in speeches, presenting things at meetings, etc..
posted by rpfields at 10:25 AM on June 24, 2017 [1 favorite]


Echoing what others have said about Imposter Syndrome and that you likely do know more than you think. But also: what you can offer is not (necessarily) specialist knowledge that your colleagues don't have. Rather, because of your role, you have the ability to see the big picture and figure out how to draw out what people already know, or get them to think about it in a certain way.

Professionals often get stuck in a rather narrow place where they're very knowledgeable about their specialty and that's it. Generalists with broad perspective (that's you) are invaluable for helping such professionals see where they fit in to the big picture, which is important for a well-functioning organization.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:57 AM on June 24, 2017


Nthing looking into imposter syndrome. You might want to inquire into the possibility of the company investing in a coach for you. Finally, while it also has some prejudices and blind spots: Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office might be helpful. I agree with above about running a hands on workshop where you set us a situation where (for example) specialists have to work together to solve a problem. The bonus: facilitating this kind of workshop makes people perceive it to be much more valuable than being lectured at for an hour.
posted by songs_about_rainbows at 11:28 AM on June 24, 2017


Let me explain to you how training works in my multinational - our global knowledge peeps develop training materials and these are sent out globally to the people who are in charge of training in different countries. These country peeps normally have an informal pool of go to 'fcailitators' they try to 'volunteer' as first step. Then they need more resource or people drop out and at some point anybody who has ever said anything in one of the sessions (i.e. Is therefore deemed to be happy to present) and who could be deemed to have relevant experience (by more and more spurious arguments) is approached and they cover the sessions somehow.

The main challenge is to figure out what story you want to tell, i.e. why do we have to sit here for 60 or 90 mins and talk about this. If you get 'prepared' materials there are normally way more slides than you need, ignore the rest and tell your story. If you have to develop the material you'll need to dive deeper/ prep more but I've shoehorned sessions together by getting learning people to share their database/various other materials and drawing diagrams on paper and handing them to most junior person I could ask for help to 'create the slide' and format the rest of my deck so it doesn't look as if it was pulled from 5 other decks and my personal notes.

So yes, you need to have relevant knowledge but then you facilitate the people in the room sharing their experience with the subject matter and direct that discussion a bit. There is always at least one person with more knowledge than you - get them to weigh in on the very unique, specialist questions or defer them til after. You're not a lecturer, you're the person who either owed a favour or had a gap in their schedule when they needed somebody to lead the session - it's not difficult for a competent generalist to develop enough subject matter knowledge on a topic to do this.

This is not school and nobody is there for pure knowledge acquisition. You want to raise awareness of a topic, allow people to work out why it is relevant for them. Anybody needing to apply what you were talking about will need to consult the slides you shared, which point them to relevant additional information. They should go away with enough understanding to know to consider the topic and where to find more detailed guidance.
posted by koahiatamadl at 3:44 AM on June 25, 2017


Response by poster: All of this is supremely helpful, and it's made me realize that I need more info from my workplace about opportunities for small(er)-group trainings. Right now, the most common trainings are department-wide (so, 200-ish people), but I know there must be smaller trainings happening, and you are all right, that I'd be much more comfortable with those. (I work off the main campus, so I'm not always very looped into stuff that's happening in the main offices.)
posted by lazuli at 6:57 AM on June 25, 2017 [1 favorite]


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