To sleep perchance to not have a tantrum

June 15, 2017 5:17 AM

Statskid just turned 5 and has been a very dedicated napper. Now we're having to go no nap and are struggling.

Statskid just turned 5 and has been a very dedicated napper. Last week he started a summer camp that is no nap, and he is struggling by the end of the day. We’ve had more tantrums in the last two weeks than we’ve had in the last year. He tells me that he likes the new school but wants a nap, so I’m fairly sure the behavior is sleep related instead of new environment related.

We’ve moved bedtime up almost an hour, but I’m also considering picking him up early one day a week so he can get a midweek nap. Any advice on if this would be helpful or if it would only delay his acclimating to the new routine (as starting in August he'll only have a 20 minute rest period for kindergarten)?

All I can find online is about kids who don’t want to nap anymore, nothing about kids who still want to nap.

posted by statsgirl to Human Relations (7 answers total)

From what I've heard from kindergarten teachers, it's not that uncommon to have a few kids who still want a nap at that age, and for teachers to make some sort of accommodation even if there's no official nap time. So, it may be worth talking to the camp staff and future kindergarten teacher if you haven't already.
posted by bfields at 6:42 AM on June 15, 2017 [1 favorite]

How'd he take to the earlier bedtime? Because maybe it can go earlier still. Are you waking him as late as possible? (Or is he waking on his own?) Kid BlahLaLa has always just needed more sleep than other kids, which is the perspective I'm coming from.

At times in the summer when he was younger I'd try to help the earlier bedtime by literally not turning on lights in the house -- there was still sunlight coming in from outside but I'd be trying to capture every possible increment of dimness by keeping the lights off.

Lastly, I'll say that that when my kid started kindergarten -- his first true "all day, no nap" situation -- I did my best in the first few months to keep the late afternoons and early evenings as quiet and chill as possible. No playdates, no errands to run with me, etc. because he was literally exhausted.
posted by BlahLaLa at 7:22 AM on June 15, 2017

Is he getting 12 hours of sleep a night? I'm not sure how early you backed his bed time but if it's later than 8 pm, it's likely too late.
posted by saradarlin at 7:24 AM on June 15, 2017

Teach him to cat-nap. 20 minutes is not too short for a nap, and there is research that adult sleep patterns do naturally include a mid-day nap (a dip in the daytime wakefulness signal) which is why some cultures still have have a siesta or mid-day break. Even a short rest is helpful for emotional stability. It's actually a great skill that will serve him well in high school and college.
posted by epanalepsis at 7:34 AM on June 15, 2017

Response by poster: Thanks for the responses so far.

For the bedtime, we're starting bedtime around 6:45, and he's fast asleep by 7:30. I'm not sure if we could get it any earlier than that.

He wakes (on his own) between 5:30-6. We have blackout curtains in the room, but I think the sunrise may be waking him up.
posted by statsgirl at 7:36 AM on June 15, 2017

My kids had similar tantrums during sleep transitions (two kids around 5 and 8). One week was just the beginning of the transition time, one to three weeks was normal for a sleep schedule and/or school change transition to work itself out. Often the tantrums would end abruptly, like after two weeks of daily crying tantrums at bedtime suddenly it was no problem and the new schedule worked OK.

We use blackout window roller shades and blackout curtains to block sun, and also a white noise machine or fan-based humidifier.

I find that heat is a major barrier to good sleep and a cool or cold room is much more effective for sleeping. Often I realize this and the kid doesn't - I have to force them to change out of the flannel pyjamas when their head is covered with sweat and they still claim they "just aren't tired and want to get up and do things" when I can tell they are in physical discomfort.

I hate it, but we use window air conditioners in the summertime instead of open windows. The street noise is too unpredictable in our neighborhood. I love fresh air in summer nights, but kids and parents got to sleep. We buy 100% renewable electricity to cut the guilt of running AC's all night every night.
posted by sol at 10:11 AM on June 15, 2017

It sounds like you are all over bedtime. Sol has some excellent suggestions about improving the quality of his current sleep (dark, cold, white noise/quiet).

Your thought that he may need one early nap a week is also very possible. When my daughter gave up naps (around 3) she would usually fall asleep in the car at least once a week and have a power nap. That helped ease the no nap transition.
posted by saradarlin at 11:10 AM on June 15, 2017