How do I decline a job offer that I don't want?
May 5, 2017 1:15 PM Subscribe
Recently, a colleague was let go from a place we worked together. He landed on his feet and is thriving. He asked me if I wanted to work with him. At the time, I did- My current job was mired in politics and totally stuck in 1st gear. This was about a month ago.
Since that time, things have turned around and picked up. However, not wanting to shut any doors I went ahead and did a phone interview. Things went incredibly well and they'd like to bring me in for an in-person.
The thing is, I don't really want that job. Things have turned around at my current job and it no longer feels like the right time to leave. Is there a polite way to decline this offer? Should I just be clear and not waste anyone's time? Or is the better move to take the interview and decline only if an offer arises?
I would also do the interview. Your current job might turn around to bad again. A month of things being better is not a pattern.
posted by gregr at 1:26 PM on May 5, 2017 [15 favorites]
posted by gregr at 1:26 PM on May 5, 2017 [15 favorites]
Another vote for do the interview, see how it goes. There's very little downside to you having the conversation. If they make an offer and you decide to stay at your current position, then politely decline....IF you believe that your current job is truly and permanently on the upswing.
posted by athenasbanquet at 1:28 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by athenasbanquet at 1:28 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]
I'd also do the interview. This sounds like a great opportunity to interview them as much as they interview you. And who knows, it might be a great job. If nothing else, it's good to stay in practice.
If you choose not to take the job, it's really very straightforward. Thanks for your time and interest, I've decided not to take this job right now.
I recently saw Richard Nixon's resignation letter. It's a real eye-opener. If that's all that is needed to resign from the most powerful job in my country, I am probably too verbose in most of my communications.
posted by Cranialtorque at 1:34 PM on May 5, 2017 [3 favorites]
If you choose not to take the job, it's really very straightforward. Thanks for your time and interest, I've decided not to take this job right now.
I recently saw Richard Nixon's resignation letter. It's a real eye-opener. If that's all that is needed to resign from the most powerful job in my country, I am probably too verbose in most of my communications.
posted by Cranialtorque at 1:34 PM on May 5, 2017 [3 favorites]
If this were just a question of etiquette, then it would be appropriate to decline before the in-person interview. "Thank you for considering me. I'd like to withdraw my application." You don't have to elaborate.
But in your specific situation, I think it's worth going to the interview. Work situations that quickly swing from bad to good often swing back. By the time the hiring manager gets back to you, you might be ready to leave again.
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:52 PM on May 5, 2017 [4 favorites]
But in your specific situation, I think it's worth going to the interview. Work situations that quickly swing from bad to good often swing back. By the time the hiring manager gets back to you, you might be ready to leave again.
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:52 PM on May 5, 2017 [4 favorites]
Rarely in my life have I been in the position where I go to an interview while I am mostly satisfied with my current employment (or employed at all). I'm usually thinking "please hire me, I need this job."
I think, even if you are 99% sure you want to stay put, you can use this as a learning experience.
posted by blackzinfandel at 2:05 PM on May 5, 2017
I think, even if you are 99% sure you want to stay put, you can use this as a learning experience.
posted by blackzinfandel at 2:05 PM on May 5, 2017
Are you sure things at your job have turned around? If you were dissatisfied a month ago, and applied for this new job, I would go and interview, even if you're currently feeling good about things. I'd tell them during the interview process that while you are interested in learning about this opportunity, you are not on a general job search, you're not trying to leave your current job. I believe there's no such thing as loving my job soooo much that there's no way I'd even talk about other opportunities - I mean yes, maybe you know that this new company isn't all that, and you were originally seeing it as a sideways move rather than an improvement, but in pretty much any other case I'd say it's still worth going. And about your current job, think about how it got so much better in a month that you're happy with it. Was it a promotion, and you just wouldn't feel right leaving so soon after stepping up to a new role? Or a new project, and you're feeling really optimistic (but new projects look shiny and exciting and then they start looking impossible)? Or there have been major personnel changes resulting in a new boss or a less-toxic coworker environment? (but I wouldn't really trust that either, a month is not enough time to evaluate a personal dynamic)
Basically, there are a very few cases where I would feel confident that the improvements in your current job were permanent and reliable, and a very few cases where the new job wouldn't be good enough to be worth pursuing on its own (without the need to escape), but in pretty much any other situation, I'd interview.
posted by aimedwander at 2:10 PM on May 5, 2017 [2 favorites]
Basically, there are a very few cases where I would feel confident that the improvements in your current job were permanent and reliable, and a very few cases where the new job wouldn't be good enough to be worth pursuing on its own (without the need to escape), but in pretty much any other situation, I'd interview.
posted by aimedwander at 2:10 PM on May 5, 2017 [2 favorites]
Rarely in my life have I been in the position where I go to an interview while I am mostly satisfied with my current employment (or employed at all). I'm usually thinking "please hire me, I need this job."
To put this another way, going into an interview where you know that unless they do a good job of selling the position to you that you'll turn them down rather than vice versa can be really nice and help teach you what you want in future employment.
If you're absolutely certain there's nothing that would cause you to take it, go ahead and decline the in-person interview, as there's no point in wasting their time. But I'll nth everyone else that said that your current situation could easily go south again.
posted by Candleman at 2:30 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]
To put this another way, going into an interview where you know that unless they do a good job of selling the position to you that you'll turn them down rather than vice versa can be really nice and help teach you what you want in future employment.
If you're absolutely certain there's nothing that would cause you to take it, go ahead and decline the in-person interview, as there's no point in wasting their time. But I'll nth everyone else that said that your current situation could easily go south again.
posted by Candleman at 2:30 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]
When you say "I don't really want that job" do you mean "It didn't seem all that great but it did seem better than my current job at the time", or do you mean "It seemed pretty good but I feel like I should be loyal to my current job, and I don't want to deal with the mental overhead of a new job?"
Out of all the job search/job interview situations I've been in over the last 20+ years, there are exactly two incidents I regret: The first was mentioning to one potential employer that I was waiting to hear back on an interview I'd done with a another company. (I didn't get the job. It was a bonehead move, especially since I didn't get the first job I was waiting to hear about either.)
The second thing I regret is passing up an interview in a situation similar to yours; things went south at company A, I sent out a bunch of resumes and got a call for an interview with company B just as things seemed to turn around at company A. Because of a combination of inertia and misguided loyalty to company A (it was my first "real job", and my main role model at the time was my dad, who worked for the same company for his entire professional working life) I declined the interview. Things really went to hell a month or two later, and after enduring a lot more stress and anxiety I wound up leaving company A anyway. I've often wondered what would have happened if I'd gone to the interview and landed that job with company B.
Unless there was something you actively disliked about this company/position based on your phone interview or reports from your friend, I would go to the interview; check out the office, meet the people you'd be working with, and just see what happens; since you're already employed, the worst thing that could happen is that they make you an offer and you politely decline it. That's a pretty sweet position to be in! (On preview, what aimedwander and phatkitten said. Every job I've ever had where things have gotten bad enough for me to actively look elsewhere, things only continue to get worse overall, even if they seem to get rally for a while.)
I've also been on the hiring side of the table, and I second all of "keep it simple" advice above: If you do ultimately decide to decline the interview, be brief and courteous and use Metroid Baby's line; you really don't need to elaborate. They'll just move on to the next candidate in their list, no hard feelings.
posted by Funeral march of an old jawbone at 2:43 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]
Out of all the job search/job interview situations I've been in over the last 20+ years, there are exactly two incidents I regret: The first was mentioning to one potential employer that I was waiting to hear back on an interview I'd done with a another company. (I didn't get the job. It was a bonehead move, especially since I didn't get the first job I was waiting to hear about either.)
The second thing I regret is passing up an interview in a situation similar to yours; things went south at company A, I sent out a bunch of resumes and got a call for an interview with company B just as things seemed to turn around at company A. Because of a combination of inertia and misguided loyalty to company A (it was my first "real job", and my main role model at the time was my dad, who worked for the same company for his entire professional working life) I declined the interview. Things really went to hell a month or two later, and after enduring a lot more stress and anxiety I wound up leaving company A anyway. I've often wondered what would have happened if I'd gone to the interview and landed that job with company B.
Unless there was something you actively disliked about this company/position based on your phone interview or reports from your friend, I would go to the interview; check out the office, meet the people you'd be working with, and just see what happens; since you're already employed, the worst thing that could happen is that they make you an offer and you politely decline it. That's a pretty sweet position to be in! (On preview, what aimedwander and phatkitten said. Every job I've ever had where things have gotten bad enough for me to actively look elsewhere, things only continue to get worse overall, even if they seem to get rally for a while.)
I've also been on the hiring side of the table, and I second all of "keep it simple" advice above: If you do ultimately decide to decline the interview, be brief and courteous and use Metroid Baby's line; you really don't need to elaborate. They'll just move on to the next candidate in their list, no hard feelings.
posted by Funeral march of an old jawbone at 2:43 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]
Take the interview. You can always turn down the job if it's offered, but you can't always get the interview experience.
Interviewing is a skill, and if you don't exercise it, it gets rusty. Even when I was happy at a job, I always tried to interview for another position somewhere else at least once a year, especially positions that are a bit "out of my league." Two reasons. First, it keeps my interviewing skills sharp. Second, it let's me know what my value in the marketplace is -- how easy is it to get an interview? Or an offer? What kind of offer am I getting? Even if I don't plan to leave my job, that's useful knowledge to know when I'm negotiating internally for a promotion or a raise.
posted by gritter at 3:42 PM on May 5, 2017 [7 favorites]
Interviewing is a skill, and if you don't exercise it, it gets rusty. Even when I was happy at a job, I always tried to interview for another position somewhere else at least once a year, especially positions that are a bit "out of my league." Two reasons. First, it keeps my interviewing skills sharp. Second, it let's me know what my value in the marketplace is -- how easy is it to get an interview? Or an offer? What kind of offer am I getting? Even if I don't plan to leave my job, that's useful knowledge to know when I'm negotiating internally for a promotion or a raise.
posted by gritter at 3:42 PM on May 5, 2017 [7 favorites]
Bad jobs may start going well again for awhile, but they somehow always start souring back to bad again. Give this job a shot and see if it's better or worse than what you've got.
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:55 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:55 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]
No way, do not do the interview unless there is an inkling of a chance you would actually accept an offer. "Thanks, but I've decided not to further pursue any other job options" is a totally fine thing to say right now. You can always change your mind later, but you can't un-waste their time if you do the interview and turn them down.
Now, if there is a chance you'd be interested, do the interview.
posted by so fucking future at 8:00 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]
Now, if there is a chance you'd be interested, do the interview.
posted by so fucking future at 8:00 PM on May 5, 2017 [1 favorite]
You're in a great negotiating position with the potential new employer. You can really only succeed in negotiating if you're willing to walk away. That's where you are in this one. So do the interview, imagine what it would take to get you to move over, and ask for it. You can't lose.
posted by thenormshow at 7:00 AM on May 6, 2017
posted by thenormshow at 7:00 AM on May 6, 2017
Is there a polite way to decline this offer?
Just to answer the question as asked, though I agree with much of what other posters have said: "My situation has changed, and I am no longer available."
posted by solotoro at 2:16 PM on May 6, 2017
Just to answer the question as asked, though I agree with much of what other posters have said: "My situation has changed, and I am no longer available."
posted by solotoro at 2:16 PM on May 6, 2017
Nobody has mentioned the friend angle. If your friend vouched for you and you started the process, you should probably check in with the friend to see what they think about bailing at this point. In normal job situations, it is perfectly reasonable to politely decline, but when a friend sticks out their neck to get you an interview, that's a little different and needs some extra care.
posted by CathyG at 7:53 PM on May 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
posted by CathyG at 7:53 PM on May 7, 2017 [2 favorites]
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