Writing on autistic relationships?

May 3, 2017 5:47 AM

I am autistic, and find the romantic relationships within my peer group incomprehensible. I also have difficulty with media depictions of romance - they are comprehensible, but inevitably I do not understand the emotional arc. I would like to read accounts from autistic people of their serious longer-term experiences with love/romance for a better gauge.

Personal accounts are okay too.

posted by solarion to Human Relations (5 answers total)

It's an older book, but Nobody Nowhere by Donna Williams might interest you. It's a first person non-fiction account of a woman talking about her challenges having adult relationships as a person with autism. The author is an interesting writer but also had a difficult upbringing (not because of her autism, just related family trauma) so it's not for everyone but I found it compelling. The Speed of Dark by Elizabeth Moon doesn't have a romance central to it but does have a lot of descriptions of the protagonist with autism interacting a lot more neurotypical folks in ways that were interesting to read
posted by jessamyn at 6:19 AM on May 3, 2017 [6 favorites]

I watched an independent lens documentary profiling three autistic people and their romantic lives- "autism in love". It should be available online.

Hope it's helpful/enlightening.
posted by bearette at 6:26 AM on May 3, 2017 [2 favorites]

Cynthia Kim wrote some about her experiences on her blog Musings of an Aspie:

A blog series on her marriage to her neurotypical husband. She writes about challenges of communication, touch sensitivity, and more - and also about the benefits of being different people together.
And a blog series on the experience of parenting - a different family experience than romance but also very interesting. One of the posts is by her adult daughter on what it's like to have an autistic parent.

I think she is no longer writing because she began having serious problems with language processing, I hope she is doing well and miss her writing. Maybe you will find it helpful.
posted by epanalepsis at 6:44 AM on May 3, 2017 [9 favorites]

Haven't read this but I bought it as a gift for someone:

A novel told from the point of view of a teenage girl with autism, written by schoolgirls with autism, has been published after the students – frustrated by their experience of a world that rejects and ignores them – decided to take matters into their own hands.

The pupils at Limpsfield Grange school, the country’s only state-funded residential school for girls with special needs, mined their own most painful – and uplifting – experiences to write M in the Middle, a young adult novel created with the help of their creative writing teacher, Vicky Martin.

If I'm recalling correctly romance is one of the themes dealt with, as you might expect with a young adult novel.
posted by XMLicious at 8:59 AM on May 3, 2017

The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion - delightful novel, very funny romance.
The Journal of Best Practices by David Finch - great memoir about an autistic man discovering how his marriage does/doesn't work.
posted by yarnagogo at 9:37 AM on May 3, 2017 [2 favorites]