Facilitate eco-friendly hooking-up!!
January 15, 2006 1:41 PM   Subscribe

Need pick-up lines for human powered laundromat

... a friend of mine is starting a laundromat powered by stationary bicycles ... probably combined with coffeeshop, newstand, etc. It doesn't take much imagination to see how this combines many of the standard pick-up venues for urban 20-30-sumptin's. Rather than deny this, he's soliciting as many cheesy or not-so-cheesy pick-up lines that would play on the combination of suds and bikes ("Wanna go for a spin?"). Lame puns on tired cliches (eg. "looking for your Rinse Charming?") are welcome, too.
posted by bumpkin to Human Relations (32 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Spin here often?

Tide waits for no man.

Is that a roll of quarters in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

You smell lemony fresh.
posted by frogan at 1:45 PM on January 15, 2006

Off-topic, I know, but I must know... How does this work? do you power your own washing machine? Get a discount based on the proportion of energy you provide? Does the machine stop if you don't give it enough juice? How does this work?
posted by duck at 2:04 PM on January 15, 2006

How the hell do stationary bikes power a laundromat? and why?
/ just curious...and in the spirit of things " I bet your clothes come out looking better than new"
posted by lobstah at 2:04 PM on January 15, 2006

Looks like you're really giving it your All on that bike.

Are your legs tired? 'Cause you've been (spin) cycling through my mind all day.

Aren't these exercise bikes Fab?

Can I have your number? I'd love to give you a Shout sometime.

Looking for someone to clean your lint catcher?

That's a lot of laundry. Does this mean you're not wearing any underwear?

Tres belle lingerie, mon cherie. Wanna join me on a Tour de France?

That last one especially needs work, but I think it has potential.
posted by donpedro at 2:11 PM on January 15, 2006

I'd like to take a Tour du those pants!
posted by donpedro at 2:12 PM on January 15, 2006

Know why I wash in hot water? With you around, it's not like anything's going to be shrinking.

And for fending off all of the above:

Not tonight, thanks. I'm on my cycle.
posted by donpedro at 2:21 PM on January 15, 2006

Someday my rinse will come
posted by blag at 2:32 PM on January 15, 2006

All those clothes would look great on my floor. Well, after the dry cycle.
posted by muddylemon at 2:44 PM on January 15, 2006

Man looking for potential sex partner

Prospective: "what are you looking for?'

Man looking for potential sex partner: "oh nothing, just looking for a tag that says "made in heaven"

posted by Makebusy7 at 4:14 PM on January 15, 2006

Well, now that my underwear is clean, time to dirty it again.
posted by furtive at 4:20 PM on January 15, 2006

So, do you think you, me, the Skipper, and the others will ever get off this island?
posted by Miko at 4:26 PM on January 15, 2006

Operating on permanent press tonight?
posted by icosahedral at 4:30 PM on January 15, 2006

"I do all my washing in Tide."


"Too damn cold out Tide."
posted by jimfl at 4:35 PM on January 15, 2006

I'm with duck and lobstah. How the hell does this work? They pedal a bike that drives a generator that generates enough electricity to power a washer? Unlikely. Or they spin the drum of the washing machine directly with a set of pedals? Also unlikely. There is gonna be some dingy looking laundry. Hope they sell lots of newspapers and coffee, 'cause they ain't gonna make much money with this bike/washing machine idea.
posted by fixedgear at 5:21 PM on January 15, 2006

Nice dryer sheets. Wanna fuck?
posted by Xalf at 5:35 PM on January 15, 2006

that's an awfully long pickup line, fixedgear.

that's a nice shirt. can I talk you out of it?

woah! are those space pants? 'cause you're outta this world.

retort: all that pedaling and you're going nowhere

either way: sit an' spin, buddy. [/lady]
posted by carsonb at 5:54 PM on January 15, 2006

So many dryers, so little time.
posted by purephase at 6:14 PM on January 15, 2006

Do you wash your pants with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.

c'mon people.
posted by mullacc at 6:20 PM on January 15, 2006

donpedro, I love your idea! It says it all. To simplify, how about just:

"Tour de Pants"

That could even be the name of the landromat.
posted by evoo at 7:55 PM on January 15, 2006

Frankly, I think they'll be better off with a clothesline and a washtub...

Has your friend done any research into this? A typical dryer is one of the most energy intensive appliances - it takes 4000 to 6000 watts just for the heating element, while a human on a stationary bike generates about 150 to 200 watts. So, in the best case, you'd need 20 people pedaling for an hour, just to dry one load of wash?
posted by bemis at 9:32 PM on January 15, 2006

I told my Mom I was going to earn a spot on the T-Mobile racing team, but she said I wasn't even good enough to do their laundy. Well, Look at me now, MOM! Look at me now!

Let's find a tandem and ride off into the sunset together.

Chain suck never felt so good!
posted by planetkyoto at 11:03 PM on January 15, 2006

<lick finger, touch person> Wow! We better get you out of those wet clothes!
posted by ikkyu2 at 11:21 PM on January 15, 2006 [1 favorite]

This one only works if you really think about it in the context of a laundromat/gym: Can I come on your face?
posted by jonson at 11:24 PM on January 15, 2006

Response by poster: Thanks for the lines. Nearly soiled my laundry reading some of them (ahem).

Answers / comments from CW (the fella on whose behalf I am soliciting your advice, lines, etc):

Thanks muchly, folksies. This collection of pickup lines is for inclusion in a grant to continue the R+D of the project. If all goes well then in a couple of years your pickup lines will apear on the walls of a reallife "Spin Cycle" and it's second location: "Tour de Pants" in Boston, MA.

There's a prototype for the laundry machine. There's none for the drier as our resident gearhead has sussed out. Possibilities include a set of clotheslines that cycle through the rafters and paying the electric company to certify that the electricity used for dryers is generated by windpower.

Gin and Tonic in a waterbottle?
posted by bumpkin at 8:04 AM on January 16, 2006

Hold up fabric softener, tilt head slightly, arch eyebrows, and say simply:

posted by milquetoast at 8:37 AM on January 16, 2006

Please, please PLEASE tell me this place will be named "Spin Cycle"
posted by piratebowling at 10:35 AM on January 16, 2006

"Spin Cycle" is already the name of a chain of laundromats here in Chicago - are you sure there won't be legal trouble for using the name?
posted by mai at 1:31 PM on January 16, 2006

Tour De Pants has it by a kilometer.
posted by anthill at 5:46 PM on January 16, 2006

Tour De Pants has it by a kilometer.
It's even better when you chant it to the Kraftwerk song.
posted by boo_radley at 1:44 PM on January 18, 2006

Oh you like bikes? I'm sort of a pedal-phile myself.

Wanna ride on my handlebars?

You look familiar, when was the last time we SPOKE?

What do laundromats and stationary bikes have in common? No skid marks.

Race you to the rinse cycle!

Ever done it on a bike or in a laundromat? Wanna kill two birds with one stone?

You don't have to use starch to make me stiff!

We don't need to be connected to the grid, there's enough electricity between you and me.

Can I put my baseball cards in your spokes?
posted by nomad at 6:32 PM on January 22, 2006

Holy cow nomad, those are amazing, every one of them.
posted by splatta at 6:53 PM on January 27, 2006

Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
posted by hypersloth at 2:52 AM on May 18, 2006

« Older Best international multi-city airfare?   |   If only I could sell perspiration Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.