Nevernude: Plus-Size Ladies Sex Wear Edition

December 18, 2016 2:06 PM

Plus-size woman seeking clothing to bone in, which is not TOO obviously meant for boning in.

I am a size 22-24 (or 3X) woman. I am apple-shaped (carry most of my weight in my belly) and I have an umbilical hernia which, while not of horrifying size at this point, is nevertheless noticeable and makes me feel weird about letting it all hang out in the sack. I like to keep a little something on in bed so I can forget about it, relax and get my groove on.

I am more comfortable in bed having something on, but I'm really not crazy about the frilly, sheer nighties meant for having sex in. And I'm definitely not into corsets, garter belts or anything costume-y. I always feel like I ought to be smoldering or undulating in such a get-up, which is not my personality at all. I'm a normal-person sort of person, not a sex kitten or femme fatale. Awkward lady is awkward.

I would like to wear something attractive that doubles as lounge-about wear, something I can hang out in and look nice without my partner reading it as a big giant invitation to fuck. Yet still fuckable, should the occasion arise. Something where if we happen to start making out, my parts are easily accessible without completely removing the clothes.

A couple of things that have worked for me:

1. A plain black camisole-style dress, that I can be naked under and maybe wear a robe or sweater over. It's easy to get my tits out of and pushes up for access to the lady area. But it is still a real dress I can hang out and read a book in without my partner chuckling evilly and waggling their eyebrows and tongue at me.

2. A ballerina-style skirt and silky t-shirt. Another cute "actually clothes" outfit I can hang out in all innocent-like, but shirt and skirt push up and voila! Sex outfit.

I'd like to start having sex more often but I don't want to just keep wearing these same two outfits over and over. I would like some other ideas of cute outfits I can wear around the house and look like a cute normal person, but if I just so happen to be persuaded into the bedroom the clothes can stay mostly on during the action sequence.

Other considerations:

I am comfortable topless, and comfortable showing my legs, it's mainly wanting to keep my abdomen covered.

High-cut leg holes do not work on me.

Tops with triangles where the boobs are supposed to go, but no support to keep them there, also do not work. Hilariously so.

Any suggestions, links, pictures, etc? I'd love some new ideas.

posted by sock puppy to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (8 answers total)

Surplice style dresses would work for you- access to all the fun bits while still being able to answer the doorbell. One, two, three, four.
posted by Requiax at 2:25 PM on December 18, 2016 [4 favorites]

I'd grab some more colors of those camisole-style dresses, that seems like a great idea for this.

Also maybe look into dresses with button fronts, either just on the top or all the way down - easy boob access!
posted by showbiz_liz at 2:54 PM on December 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

This might be a crazy suggestion and/or might not work for you - but it might be worth looking at a belly band, like they make for pregnant women. It's essentially like... only the below-the-boobs part of a tank top? and goes under your regular clothes. This site links to many that go up to your size. They're generally plain black or nude, or maybe a few other colors. They're not at all frilly or costume-y, but they're something closer to the concept of a corset-y thing while still being very no-nonsense.
posted by showbiz_liz at 3:07 PM on December 18, 2016

Kinda hippie-style caftans are comfy loungewear that offer varying degrees of easy access. This very simple style is very comfy -- try eBay for straight-from-India stuff. Certainly not as DO ME as black silky things, but I find that sort of thing just right for reading and ? on the sofa.
posted by kmennie at 3:23 PM on December 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

those wrap-around dresses that tie? They come to mind as i never wear them as the tendency for wind to blow the skirt slit so your whole leg shows and the to-the-waist V neck of the wrap, unsewn, tends to let stuff slip out - but if you avoid high winds in your apartment you could look decorous? Most of the ones i found with search look like silk dressing gowns, this is more mumsy than they used to be
mumsy example
they used to be fully wrapped - untiable - but made of garish printed jersey fabrics... very 1990s
posted by maiamaia at 3:32 PM on December 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

Best answer: Hips and Curves is a plus size lingerie shop with all kinds of neat stuff -- including long button up shirts and lounge-worthy oversize (but kinda sexy) t-shirts. I'd recommend browsing to see what might suit you.
posted by countrymod at 3:55 PM on December 18, 2016 [2 favorites]

Best answer: I have really liked the website Adore Me -- affordable and stylish. They have an extensive plus size section that goes up to 4X for most styles. I think you would particularly like their "sleepwear" section which is cute but not overly "lingerie" style. For example: slips, robes, matching loose tops and shorts.
posted by rainbowbrite at 5:22 PM on December 18, 2016

Response by poster: Lots of great suggestions, thanks all! I marked a couple of best answers as I found some specific things on the links that will work perfectly, I think. Slips and tank dresses look very promising, and I am totally in love with this Edwardian chemise!
posted by sock puppy at 9:57 PM on December 18, 2016 [1 favorite]