Best Place to Purchase an Astrological Natal Chart
September 29, 2016 6:11 AM   Subscribe

My girlfriend enjoys horoscopes, and for her birthday I'd like to purchase her a full interpretation of her natal chart, and then have the chart itself converted into an art piece. I've already found an artist to do the art part, but I have no idea how to identify an astrologer.

  • I want to pay for quality. I don't want just the free versions advertised when one googles "star chart."
  • By quality I mean I'd like the interpretation/report to be comprehensive, well copy-edited, and including at least some original flare (so not entirely the stock phrases for each element of the chart).
  • I do not expect "accuracy."
  • We view horoscopes as an interesting diversion born out of rich and diverse cultural histories. I would ideally like to purchase an interpretation from someone with roughly the same attitude to avoid offending people who take it more seriously.
  • This has to all be done online and not in person, as we are living in a rather remote part of the world.
Thanks in advance for your suggestions!
posted by philotes to Religion & Philosophy (15 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I know someone who does such things, but I don't know if she'd like to have her name posted so publicly. I'll send you a MeMail.
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:38 AM on September 29, 2016

I've followed this woman's blog and really like her style - though I'm not sure if this is quite what you're looking for...might be a starting point, though.
posted by Empidonax at 7:40 AM on September 29, 2016

I like Corina Dross. She's both an astrologer and artist, and has a very progressive (queer, creative, literary) style. She does phone/skype readings (and provides an MP3 for you) which may or may not be what your GF is looking for. It's like a good therapy session mixed with oral/cultural history and lots of allusions. Her vibe is not at all "madame cleo".

Here are her August 2016 horoscopes if you'd like a taste of her style.
posted by sazerac at 7:55 AM on September 29, 2016 [4 favorites]

My friends swear by Susan Miller.
posted by aaanastasia at 8:11 AM on September 29, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by bearette at 8:35 AM on September 29, 2016 [4 favorites]

Austin Coppock is the expert in these matters and I think this is a fantastic gift idea.
posted by jbenben at 9:58 AM on September 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

As a professional astrologer, I do not recommend Susan Miller. Sun sign astrologers are generally looked down on in the profession, and I am pretty sure Susan does not do personal consultations, since she makes good money on the ad dollars from her website.

Austin Coppock is a friend and does good work, though I am not 100% he provides written reports, so you will want to check with him. Most astrologers don't do this, as it is time-consuming, though a few will; I do and I am sure there are others. If you hit a wall in your search or need more recommendations, MeMail me. How fun!
posted by Atrahasis at 11:42 AM on September 29, 2016 [3 favorites]

Susan Miller will send you a book with your "personal" horoscope for around $55. This is almost certainly a canned interpretation printed from a program.

She's not terrible, but she's really doing astrology for the masses. "Sell to the masses, live with the classes. Sell to the classes, live with the masses." It seems to be making her a pretty penny, but her "personal" astrology books cost too little to pay for the actual time and expertise involved in an individualized reading.

So, most likely, an interpretation from her does not meet the criteria you have set forth. A personal reading from a real astrologer is generally going to cost more money than that.

posted by Michele in California at 1:06 PM on September 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

posted by brujita at 1:30 PM on September 29, 2016
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:48 PM on September 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

Someone mentioned I'm not sure what you're looking to spend but a software program can spit out a computerized report for a lot less than a more customized report from a professional astrologer. has computerized reports, but I feel they are way too pricey. One relationship report will set you back over $70 ... I think that's insane for a one-time computerized report. Especially when for only a little over $200 you can just buy yourself a software program that does this and create as many reports as you please indefinitely with it. If you choose the computerized route, I'd say just get them a software program for them to do their own reports with herself and her friends and they can do as many as they like for years to come.

My Astrology Book "The astrology reading of a lifetime in a fine art book" =seems along the lines of what you might be looking for as well as it's specifically designed to be a gift.

There are different forms of astrology. Among them are Western astrology (the most popular in the West), Chinese Astrology, Classical Astrology, Vedic Astrology- is the one I personally find to be the most accurate, but that's just me.

If she likes Vedic Astrology, Vic Dicara gives a choice of written reports and they often come with very colorful renderings of charts and such. I haven't used him but a friend of mine has a few times and her charts look really pretty.

If you have something written by an astrologer make sure they know it's a gift so that they don't write some grave shit like "Your oldest child is likely to die". Reading stuff like that probably won't warm the heart of the receiver. :D
posted by manderin at 3:09 AM on September 30, 2016 [1 favorite]

Seconding Elsa, mentioned above....she's a lovely person and will gives great personal attention to every chart she reads.
posted by kattyann at 9:18 AM on September 30, 2016

Thanks for the marvelous answers, everyone. I forgot to mention that queer-friendly was an absolute must, but luckily sazerac had me covered. I contacted Corina and she is wonderful. Thanks to Atrahasis's advice I switched from asking for a written report to asking for an mp3 which I can transcribe. Corina agreed and offered me a range of options on how to personalize the reading for my girlfriend. And thanks also to manderin, I knew to explicitly ask that death predictions, should they be relevant, not be included.

For reference, this is the artist I purchased the birth chart art piece from: Hopefully I'll remember to check back here in one month to let you know how it all turned out!

Thanks everyone!
posted by philotes at 3:58 AM on October 3, 2016 [2 favorites]

Yay! Glad it worked out!
posted by sazerac at 5:02 PM on October 19, 2016

I utterly failed to check back in after one month, as my partner lost her mother just around her birthday (we found out her mom was in the hospital after coming home from our celebratory dinner). So my partner ended up receiving her presents much later than planned, but I think the horoscope ended up coming at a helpful time for her. Though we don't consider horoscopes to have predictive power, the reading was an opportunity for reflection, a chance for my partner to feel connected to a universe larger than herself in the wake of terrible loss. In addition the prompting to think about the future came at a time when it was hard to envision "life after this," and I think the reading really helped give her permission to look forward. Corina did a beautiful job and I was extremely grateful. I would happily recommend her services to anyone looking for a thoughtful, detailed, interesting, and respectful reading.
posted by philotes at 3:47 AM on April 2, 2017 [1 favorite]

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