Yes I feel ridiculous

August 7, 2016 9:39 PM

My husband and I had a really bad fight some time ago. We have our differences politically, and some of it concerned arguing over political things the other person posted on their timeline. In a fit of anger, I unfriended my husband and removed my link to him in the family/relationships section. Anyway, we've long since made up and wish to restore our facebook connection. How do I refriend/restore our facebook relationship without it showing up as "news" for other people's timelines. The last thing I want is a bunch of "likes" at the fact that we are married or friends again, or for our inlaws to see we weren't facebook friends. Help!
posted by anonymous to Technology (5 answers total)

Do it and then just delete the event straight away before anyone sees it.
posted by ryanbryan at 9:42 PM on August 7, 2016 [6 favorites]

You can set the privacy settings on a FB anything to only yourself, or to you and anybody else you name. Quietly re-friend, re-marry him on FB with that privacy setting, and change it later, and it won't show up in your feed.

(I and mine have some silly couples' what-not on FB with privacy settings arranged so only the two of us can see it. You can have some fun with it while making up.)

Here's the basics from FB on how to do that; you can also, for this and any other tech question, usually Google it in the stupidest phrasing possible and find the answer.
posted by kmennie at 9:44 PM on August 7, 2016 [8 favorites]

The privacy settings above will work, but really it's not a big deal. You make a joke about having no idea when Facebook unfriended you from your spouse but that you thrilled at this 2nd chance or whatever. I've seen it a few times in my feed and always assumed it was a Facebook error, because it's really easy to believe that FB screws up like that.
posted by COD at 5:54 AM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

If you hide the event from your Timeline as soon as you post it I don't think it will show up on anyone else's anyway. If somehow someone does notice, you could just say that you accidentally deleted him whilst trimming your friends list. I have managed to accidentally delete people that way before!
posted by intensitymultiply at 6:04 AM on August 8, 2016

In your browser (not on the mobile site or smartphone app), go to your profile. Click "Activity Log" (lower right of your cover photo). In the left-hand sidebar, under "Comments," click "More." Then click "Friends." Near the top of the window, click the icon just left of the magnifying glass. It will say: "Friend activity can show up in..." Uncheck all possible boxes, including "Highlights and Other Stories" and "New Friend Reports." Click "Okay." Now none of your friend adds should show up for anyone else.
posted by John Cohen at 8:02 PM on August 8, 2016